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    1. Who Miss a Lil Durnk Bishop

      BISHOP NEHM MICH UNTER we off the drink we off the emo shit esskeetit peep the inspo track sat the bottom or we cant be ffriends sold my soul to the devil so that i could feel valued remember bein...

      BISHOP NEHM MICH UNTER

      we off the drink we off the emo shit

      esskeetit

      peep the inspo track sat the bottom or we cant be ffriends


      sold my soul to the devil

      so that i could feel valued

      remember bein in a empty

      home with a vacuum

      former straight-edge

      off the drink, off the valium

      wanna go back to our

      mornings with the cartoons

      made my heart a whale

      then you hit it with a harpoon

      bleedin on the beach, staring

      up at the full moon

      sometimes life rains

      down in a monsoon

      i'd be glad to drown if

      it means i can love you

      .

      but i cant even hug you

      can't even text you.

      antidepressooos

      bishop 5'6" but he tryna

      be big news.

      .

      tryna get big so you

      cannot forget me

      honey your love is a

      xanny it's deadly

      how'm i supposed to

      forget about kelly

      or bout all of those nights

      that you called me, unsteady

      wish i loved you correctly

      shit got unsteady

      i was just tryna get

      us a few pennies

      put you in a bentley

      put you in the fendi

      wasn't rich enough so

      you got all offended

      on the offensive

      antidepressents

      fuck that bullshit

      it just makes me sedated

      .

      dont wanna feel shit

      if i cant feel you

      prayin that you'll text me

      "let me heal you"

      you got 50 shades of grey

      i can see through

      but somehow still

      made me believe you

      ignroed all the red flags

      so i could keep you

      mistook for an angel

      whenever i'd see you

      but now you a model

      you said "i don need you"

      looking for a camera

      you can show your tits to

      then the devil approached me.

      said "i can guarantee you."

      .

      so i went to the sea

      heard a voice, "take a knee"

      so i nodded, agreed

      and he said "you will serve me -

      Boy listen closely

      each one of your dreams

      surrender control to

      you want the money,

      someone to devote to,

      4-k square foot house

      to go home to.

      this, i can construe

      if you submit to

      living your life, all despite

      where you'll go to.

      i now control you

      your soul - i have claim to

      but think of all the things

      that my hands can bring you.

      so i bowed on my knees -

      now this man, i submit to.

      .

      ave satani

      i give you my body

      my soul, it was drawn, he

      took it, made a copy

      forgot about mommy

      woke up smelling coffee

      looked in the mirror

      did not hate my body

      the sky was all foggy

      and greyed-out, but oddly

      i liked it enough to

      not waste the day nodding

      or off of the molly

      or in my room rocking

      with her voice talking

      .

      ave satani

      the blood and the body

      the dark it is calling

      and i find it calming

      it's sated the longing

      lil bishop's evolving

      let's go to the graveyard

      i feel like walking

      and talking

      and nodding


      inspo tracks: peep this shit

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w--D1S8SrCQ

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ff0bq_ydEQ

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y17IQ96Zzjk

      8 votes
    2. nil

      I'm rather sleepy, generally very reserved when it comes to sharing my work, and not a native user of English, but I have a couple poems in English, and I though I'd share one here and see what...

      I'm rather sleepy, generally very reserved when it comes to sharing my work, and not a native user of English, but I have a couple poems in English, and I though I'd share one here and see what the folks think of it. I love the challenge of writing stuff in languages other than my native tongue.

      a bird with no wings
      a song no one sings
      a sorrow when time brings
               nil.
      ex nihilo nihil fit
      et words have no wit
      mouth knows only to spit
               nil.
      time is scarse and gods wobble
      in vain hurry naive men hobble
      ignoring they will only nobble
               nil.
      
      12 votes
    3. döner macht schöner aber ich ess nie

      When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, “Come.” I looked, and behold, a black horse and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand. a beer in my hand then a...

      When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, “Come.” I looked, and behold, a black horse and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand.


      a beer in my hand
      then a piss in a bush
      xans in the bedroom
      geeked off the kush
      half past nine, running dry
      you came thru
      bought an 18 pack
      and we split it in two
      didnt know what we
      were getting up to
      cuddled on the couch, you
      were watching cartoons
      slowly got up, said i
      got something to do
      headed outside, took
      a piss off the roof

      two more shots then i
      broke the seal, looked up
      at the sky saw the devil
      on a black horse
      headed right for me
      flying in a crash course
      spoke into my ear, and
      his voice was all coarse

      his fork-tongued words
      hit my ears like sand
      and he spoke in a language
      that i didn't understand
      my stomach felt tight
      pale white in my hands
      and i went back in at his command

      then i didn't sleep
      for the next three nights
      and i didn't eat shit
      popcorn, white rice
      dancing damning dreams of
      baby looking at me nice
      sugar plums withered to
      a kiss, a hug, and a good night

      -.

      soothe-speaking visions of
      your eyes like a blue quartz
      watching slowly, clouds morph
      devil on a pale horse
      memories in full force
      time has come, no recourse
      white wedding dressed corpse
      wicca phase task force

      -.

      as she spoke, her eyes became green
      stomach butterflies and weak knees
      god has sent an angel for me
      her hands crawled in my chest slowly
      said, "it's your heart which i'm holding"
      gently smiled and exposed her teeth
      then ate it whole, as a wild beast
      a soft call in the distance spoke in peace
      hades
      with arms open lovingly
      and i fell

      mutter-
      seel-
      inallein.
      mutter-
      seel-
      inallein.

      7 votes
    4. missouri blues

      peep the inspo at the bottom i finnally found some shit i lvoe fuggg i hate to post this much because i'm certain my shit gets annoying. i bet there's hella people on here who view my posts as...

      peep the inspo at the bottom

      i finnally found some shit i lvoe


      fuggg i hate to post this much because i'm certain my shit gets annoying. i bet there's hella people on here who view my posts as "fluff" and want it gone but highkey idgaf.

      i know tildes likes to be open to discussion and likes to look deeper into things - ain't my fault i don't get that many comments ¯\(ツ)/¯. i tried writing more secretive and intricate shit people could pick apart if they want, but those weren't received as well as some of my more blunt posts.

      though that one poem i did where i referenced rocky horror did really well.

      i dunno.

      i just hope my shit belongs here 😂 but i guess if i've been allowed to make over thirty posts in the past three months that means i'm in the clear.

      dont be afraid to keep me in check, and dont be afraid to comment on my stuff.

      i invite your questions, your critique, your thoughts in general. i may be fucxed in the head, but i'm an artist above all else (is that true?). if you want to dig into my shit or have any ways i can improve on my work, i'd be so glad to know you have no idea

      i write my stuff to express myself but that does no good if no one's listening lmao so i want to write shit people like. i welcome all feedback.


      anyway i'm ranting again and i'm only tipsy. imma finnish this drink (kuinka voit?), then imma find a beat and ride on some shit.

      y'all know the drill.

      say it with me.

      esskeeetiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit,


      i'm actually crying right now. i found a beat that sounds just like the kind of shit i want to make and everything is just rushing to me. this is insane.

      this is the blues moderna i want to make. i feel like Taj Mahal


      ain't nothing truer in my heart
      than missouri blues
      remember driving through St. Louis
      sitting next to you
      remembering the times you said you loved me
      guess it wasn't true
      told me you'd love me forever
      now i'm feeling all confused.

      baby where'd you go and why'd
      you take my heart away from me
      now i write pathetic songs and
      can't stop thinking pitifully
      wonder if you talk me good
      or speak on me in mimicry
      i can't stop hating myself
      and looking at me critically

      mirrors are the worst friend
      a man could ever have
      when a pretty blonde girl went
      and tore his heart in half
      when he's sure he's lived the best
      years he'd ever have
      what good is any man, girl,
      without his better half?

      take me to the delta where
      a man can sing in peace
      laughing at me, drunk
      when i'm just tryna find relief
      can't afford the therapy,
      for shit you did to me
      i'd let you take my life if
      you just killed me in your sheets

      (chorus)

      baby please
      tell me that you care a-bout me
      promise you don't laugh at me
      tell me that you'll come on close and hold me

      -.

      baby hear me howlin' at your back door
      wonder what you're not talkin to me for
      hoping that you answer and take me home
      take me back before everything went wrong

      take me back to days when i still loved good
      it was us against the world but girl we endured
      our thoughts were caked in sin although our hearts pure
      we got all cuddled close and smoked a backwood

      take me back to days when you still liked me
      and my body wasn't cause for anxiety
      wanna go back to twenty sixteen
      eyes blue, hearts black, minds pristine

      baby hear me howlin' at your back door
      wonder what you're not talkin to me for
      hoping that you answer and take me home
      take me back before everything went wrong

      (chorus)

      baby please
      tell me that you care a-bout me
      promise you don't laugh at me
      tell me that you'll come on close and hold me


      i feel like if i write any more on this one imma ruin it. i don't like that.

      peep the inspo

      (iit's not rap. it's blues. actually peep the inspo)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4YPMiFaPWo (oooooof jesus christ, 1:13!!!!!!)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iqTRNUOsFI

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0_eRVroLqs


      i fucxing hate dallas, i fucxing hate texas.

      8 votes
    5. twenty one grams.

      today's different - or at least, this part of it. a lot of the posts i been making the past couple months have been out of this empty kinda want to write something. as per the usual, i came to...

      today's different -

      or at least, this part of it.

      a lot of the posts i been making the past couple months have been out of this empty kinda want to write something.

      as per the usual, i came to starbucks to work on some shit, but i felt something in my chest, got some inspo, and here we are again lmao.

      fair warning ahead, this is one of my more...idk, "brazen" posts. i dunno, superficial as hell save for one or two bars. enjoy it or not - love you anyways.

      peep the inspo at the bottom

      esskeetit.


      seeing all these people walking
      round arm in arm
      while im sitting in my house in
      the dark - pop bars
      crash cars - cop cars
      hella sirens in the distance
      blood in the moonlight glistens
      bishy getting distant
      what's going on in your
      head causing dissonance?
      what's weighing up with suicide
      in equivalence?
      still hooked on to
      the past in imprisonment?
      keep looking back at
      what you had and you're missing it?

      -.

      fuck that - cut that
      sideswipe - bone crack
      i wouldn't go back
      despite all the flashbacks
      i still got hopes
      want my life back
      i do this shit 'cus
      my soul went bad
      layin in a bed full of
      pressed pills and porn mags
      filling up a pool with
      self-hatred and cognac
      pistol labeled "lovers"
      and the bullet "no contact"
      wanna ski slopes 'til
      my eyes go all black

      -.

      i don't hate that girl
      i hate my self
      don't hate this world
      i hate my self
      spent red candles
      on my shelf
      lost 21 grams when
      i weighed myself

      ave satani
      my fear and my secrets
      my tears and my blood
      my devotion and regrets
      my love and disdain and
      my pain and forgiveness
      these things are my own
      and my self is my weakness
      so bring my destruction
      and make me a demon

      bishop.


      inspo:

      https://youtu.be/ShI6axFfqj4

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p09lM19FpU

      https://youtu.be/9M1PY4lTY3g

      bonus: https://youtu.be/DxvLc2a6Iao

      9 votes
    6. done

      i think i've stopped writing for myself recently. i've been looking at my writing as "art" instead of self expression. as if things have to have a certain depth, air of mystery, or room for...

      i think i've stopped writing for myself recently.

      i've been looking at my writing as "art" instead of self expression.

      as if things have to have a certain depth, air of mystery, or room for interpretation in order for them to be valid.

      i'm getting wine drunk and writing for me tonight.

      this is a poem about love, drugs, and crashing cars. that's all.

      tildes suggestion: ability to hide the amt of votes on a post.

      "The wise man will live as long as he ought, not as long as he can."

      • Seneca the younger

      turned into a wino
      'least im still alive tho
      90 on the highway
      drive into the signpost
      fuckin on the yayo
      stoic like im cato
      i loved you to the nines
      and you fucxed me over tenfold

      choked me til my eyes closed
      baby got a blindfold
      didn't think youd hurt me
      gave you all the control
      used to be my handhold,
      only wanted billfolds
      tonight im gettin fucked up,
      baby, where'd my gun go?

      -.

      used to be so cute
      starin at your rosy cheeks
      now i'm kissin on the
      wine glass to the left of me
      broken mirror shows the
      shattered pieces of what's left of me
      i dont even hate you
      but baby, i am dead to me

      -.


      i recommend listening to this song before you jump into this next part if youre going to read it. i borrow the flow here

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmFkCNvfojg

      plus, it's a damn good song.


      hope he treats you well,
      i'll see you in hell
      wonder if you hate him,
      wonder if you yell
      wonder if you stress him
      til his troubles swell
      wonder if you make him
      hide inside his shell

      wonder if his money
      towers high enough
      if you ever got a
      lexus to feel good enough
      if you ever make him
      dinner when his day was rough
      if you ever drop your
      bullshit and just show him love.

      all i ever needed
      was a cuddlebug
      i swear i tried
      my hardest, never good enough
      tried to build a home
      tried to show you love.
      i was never good enough.

      all the screaming, all
      the fighting i got used to.
      just wanted you to smile
      cus deep down i really missed you
      all it ever came to
      was lies and "i hate you"s
      i can still hear it
      "you look like i abused you."

      i felt my eyes going
      wide, i was never fine.
      dreaming 'bout a better
      life almost all the time
      'bout a day when we
      were married, i could call you mine (&&)
      had a home in missouri
      everything was right

      but any time i tried to
      love you, you pushed me away
      any time i tried to
      hold you, told me "go away"
      tried to build a better life for
      us every day
      then i guess you got your
      lexus, made your getaway

      claiming that you love me (this block isnt mine)
      but you don't mean shit,
      claiming that you had me
      but you never did,
      claiming that you love me
      but you don't mean shit,
      claiming that you had me
      but you never did

      pushed me to the side,
      made me fade away.
      vision fadin' black
      i wont be okay
      im stuck on this shit
      each and every day
      if i kill myself,
      the dreams will go away.

      11 votes
    7. i like it when friends come over to visit.

      sup everyone! catchin a vibe today, had a few joji tracks on repeat so i thought i'd build something out of his style/flow. voici. inspo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulMHhPHYCi0...

      sup everyone! catchin a vibe today, had a few joji tracks on repeat so i thought i'd build something out of his style/flow.

      voici.

      inspo:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulMHhPHYCi0
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmFkCNvfojg
      https://tashacho.artstation.com/projects/EQ4on

      doors creaking at the riverside
      subtle fog besets an autumn night
      white dresses in the lower tide
      northern star hangs high

      catches my eye
      closing in on all sides
      belt of Orion,
      branch unified
      eighth night, knocking coincides
      groaning on the other side
      doors among the trees
      shaking hands you start to climb

      -.

      you've see the stars before
      and they always keep their shape
      one shoots down,
      angel fell from grace
      all of their alignments,
      a familiar face
      didn't want to come back to this place.

      you liked things as they were
      and you prefer a cityscape
      slugging through your life
      with your eyes ever agape
      toeing through the words
      and your hands began to shake
      she said "you look like i abused you heaven's sake"

      looked to the sky so many times
      that i've mapped the stars out
      screamed so many times now
      only whispers come out
      water from the river Styx
      a seed began to sprout
      it's the tree atop from which i'm looking out.

      -.

      doors creaking at the riverside
      subtle fog besets an autumn night
      white dresses in the lower tide
      northern star hangs high

      catches my eye
      closing in on all sides
      belt of Orion,
      branch unified
      eighth night, knocking coincides
      groaning on the other side
      doors among the trees
      shaking hands you start to climb

      bishop.

      4 votes
    8. a few poems

      i'm slightly bored and ~creative hasn't had a lot of posts recently so i guess i'll toss some of my lot in here. here's some of the mediocre stuff i pen up more or less without editing in my off...

      i'm slightly bored and ~creative hasn't had a lot of posts recently so i guess i'll toss some of my lot in here. here's some of the mediocre stuff i pen up more or less without editing in my off time. i have plenty more of these, but most of them require so much context that it'd be a pain in the dick to post them, so they're not likely to see daylight here any time soon. anyways

      (note: now hopefully with less formatting fuck ups, lol.)


      quick, general scribbles

      scribble, scribble [unfinished]

      No, you don’t matter—
      you don’t matter, matter, matter…
      like a symphony of voices in
      the night, their uproarious cacophony
      of noise inescapable,
      rumbles—shaking. No sleep
      to be found, no—you don’t matter…
      Sleep is impossible, escape is…
      impossible. Draw your mental curtains
      in every window and bolt every lock shut—
      shut in… shut in with the noise, no you
      don’t matter, matter, matter—
      Why do you shut yourself in? Why
      do you shut yourself inside if you matter?
      The voices tremble with fury—but peaceful
      they are compared to the noise, echoing, booming—
      If you did matter you wouldn’t hide!
      You wouldn’t refuse to face the music, oh
      if you mattered you’d admit that you’re crazy.
      If you mattered the voices wouldn’t be. The
      thoughts wouldn’t be. They wouldn’t be, no—
      you don’t matter, matter, matter…
      some symphony of voices the voices can be—
      rattle like a rattle, regurgitating the same sound—
      endlessly, on loop. Never enough to deafen the
      thoughts, the thoughts never enough to silence
      the voices. If you mattered you’d be free
      of the voices, you see. Just another crazy
      person you are. All alone, you and me...

      Bor · der · line

      Always, when meeting, be skeptical.
      Be cynical, so when the deal falls through
      you can pretend you never wanted
      what was offered to you in the first place.
      Pretend it doesn’t hurt every time
      to tear everything down from day one when
      you know it’s irrational action—
      when you know if you could just be “normal”…
      Go through the process a hundred times
      over, stay up every night thinking
      why it has to always be this way
      and why you’re like this, why you’re so crazy—
      never change, always an amorphous
      blob of a person, never able to
      fit into anything, to be what
      you truly want to be, deep down. Normal.
      Such is the life of an internet
      vagabond—a sacrifice to the great
      altar of the untreated mental
      illness—crucified by their loneliness.


      some stuff for my grand worldbuilding

      Time (1921) // by Donas Beyten-Aytek

      A dragon always cares for time,
      for often he knows that it does rhyme.
      And always grows up with the fable,
      of the dragon that was able.
      For ‘once in time’ a dragon ruled,
      and ‘once in time’ that dragon fooled.
      So ‘once in time’ that dragon lied,
      and ‘once in time’ that dragon died.
      And now a dragon lives with fears
      of the changes time endears,
      and hopes that time will one day cease
      and leave his life alone in peace.
      But no more is it ‘a’ dragon alone,
      instead it is all which to fear is prone.
      In face of time, no dragon is steady.
      In face of eternity, no dragon is ready.

      Dragons will not hail to a tyrant (1981) // by Tadin Aledi Geren

      Dragons will not hail to a tyrant—
      that much must be made clear
      and shouted for the world to hear.
      For a dragon enslaved and martyred—
      on the altar of Bira, their blood spilled—
      can never by any man be killed.
      Yet dragons long have been enslaved—
      by despot, by tyrant, by foreign power—
      and it seems always the dragon should cower.
      But soon, one day soon, the dragon
      will rise from their ashes, from their grave
      and find a dragon world to save.

      Revolution (2009) // by Nesye Kalane-Aiselain

      Revolution means nothing
      if you don’t act.
      If you don’t let the hillsides ring
      with upstart revolutionary zeal
      you are no true revolutionary—
      you are no better than a tyrant king!
      You can’t be a revolutionary
      if you never let the proletarians sing.

      6 votes
    9. indie rock musician james bay taught me a lot about deception.

      ESKEETIT ESKEETIT ESKEETIT ESKEEEETIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT i like to save this wiine for special occasions because shit's a german specialty that i like to share with people but i only really talk to...

      ESKEETIT

      ESKEETIT

      ESKEETIT

      ESKEEEETIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

      i like to save this wiine for special occasions because shit's a german specialty that i like to share with people but i only really talk to one other person in this whole fuuuuucking state so i spent it all on me.

      out here wildin rn

      i aint posted a new piece in a week(ish) so im doing two

      but i post "qulaity" so im okay riiiiiight?

      dont @ me if u aint catch tha links

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytVww5r4Nk0

      https://i.imgur.com/LKIwWHa.png

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p09lM19FpU this here song issssss

      BIG MOOD

      IMMA PLAY DEPRESSING
      MUSIC TIL YOU
      COME AND
      HOLD ME

      WENT AND BUILT A COFFIN
      BUT I KEEP ON DRILL-
      ING HOLES TO
      BREATHE

      IN HOPES I'LL SEE A PIGEON
      WITH A NOTE THAT YOU
      WROTE ON IT'S
      FEET

      SAYING THAT YOU'RE SORRY
      WE FUCKED UP AND
      YOU'LL COME HOME
      TO ME

      -.

      DOPAMINE
      UNKNOWN TO ME
      BLACK AND WHITE
      A KEATON SCENE

      THERMOS FULL
      OF KEROSENE
      XANNY ON
      DELIVERY

      "DADDY WILL YOU
      CARE FOR ME?"
      I TRIED YOU WERE
      NOT THERE FOR ME

      SAW MY GRANDAD
      BARELY BREATHE AND
      THEN YOU TURNED
      ABANDONED ME

      -.

      SORDID SCENES IN
      SPOILED DREAMS WHEN
      I THINK THAT YOU'VE
      COME ON BACK

      BRAIN AT REST I
      FEEL MY FISTS
      AS THEY POUND HARD
      AGAINST THE BED

      FUCK A LABEL
      DON'T CARE IF
      IT'S ABUSE, I
      WANT IT BACK

      ASKED ME IF
      I'LL MISS YOU
      HOLY FUCK I GUESS
      I GOT IT BAD.

      -.-.-.-.-.-.-.

      FROM WALKIN' HOME
      AND TALKIN' LOADS
      TO NO MORE CALLS
      LIVING ALONE

      TO TEETH AND CLAWS
      AND FRACTURED BONES
      TO TOTALED CARS
      AND BROKEN HOMES

      LET IT GO
      LET IT GO
      DON'T HOLD BACK THE RIVER
      LET IT FLOW

      #DRAINGANG

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgvdbbuMQ_k

      haha i'm really okay

      3 votes
    10. unawake no escape . i whisper secrets to sedate .

      FUCCCCCCCCCCCC IT WE DRUNK AGAIN WE OUT HERE GEN Z PAINN VIBIN *#BIGMOOD* dont @ me if u aint catch tha links https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShI6axFfqj4 https://i.imgur.com/LKIwWHa.png...

      FUCCCCCCCCCCCC IT WE DRUNK AGAIN

      WE OUT HERE GEN Z PAINN VIBIN

      *#BIGMOOD*

      dont @ me if u aint catch tha links

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShI6axFfqj4

      https://i.imgur.com/LKIwWHa.png

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjhJ_Sv0MlI

      ich schlaf'
      auf einem Bett
      das ich aus Stein
      gemacht hab'

      ich schließe
      fest die augen
      aber finde keine
      Schaffe

      einfach nur
      das Mädel das
      hat mich früher
      verlassen

      dann klebt mein arm
      in der erde ein
      um mich zu
      begraben

      -.

      ich hab an
      sie gelacht und
      sie sieht mich
      an mit Hass

      ich hämmert auf'm
      Nachttisch
      bis ich wurde
      aufgewacht

      dann fragte ich
      an Gott warum
      ich denke immer
      krass

      Hände in die
      Taschen, lauf'
      alleine auf'm
      Strass

      ich möchte kein mehr
      Weihnachten,
      ob sie nicht an
      mir sagt:

      -.

      Schätzi, guten
      Morgen und
      mich küsste auf'm
      Hals

      Ja ich
      möchte Kaffee
      ja ich lieb' dich
      ebenfalls

      "Liebe macht das
      Heim" hat sie auf
      unserem Wand
      gemalt

      lustig, dass sie
      nicht mehr ruft
      mich an oder
      mich halt

      -.
      ?
      i dreamed
      of you
      with angered eyes,
      a gaze that
      filled with hate

      i felt my arm
      beat on my dresser
      'til i did awake

      a soft and shaky
      soul succumbed to rub
      against the grate

      life has been for nothing since february eighth.\

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvlGMCVGkQA

      6 votes
    11. dripdripdrip

      tu sais qui c'est alright so the fuck is up with you people!? did y'all see my last post up here got like eighteen votes? that's crazy! that's one of the best-received things i've posted on...

      tu sais qui c'est

      alright so the fuck is up with you people!? did y'all see my last post up here got like eighteen votes?

      that's crazy! that's one of the best-received things i've posted on tildes, just, overall lmao.

      glad to see my sober stuff can be decent competition to my drunk stuff.

      on that, i pretty much don't drink on my own anymore (i mean some wine with dinner blah blah) but like drink ya feel?

      if i'm at a kickback i'm always down to get fucked up, but coming out of this sober week i kinda restructured how i'm using stuff now.

      like i used to try using kratom to get high p often and discovered that that's a shite idea. i just got all wirey and had stomach aches lol.

      however just a little bit (~0.75g) in some tea is small enough to avoid any side effects and big enough to work as a solid mood regulator.

      much to my discontent this just isn't the kinda thing you take recreationally (the whole reason i picked it up to begin with), but it does definitely boost your mood up like 30x, boost your self confidence, and even help you get some good sleep (if you're sipping red vein varieties.)

      i was feeling like a lazy piece of shit (y'know as usual), sipped my tea, and ended up knee-deep in this udemy course for electron apps (building desktop apps like skype or something), made a solid breakfast, wrote this here ditty, and played like 3 hours of risk of rain. (gotta be lazy somewhere i guess.)

      anyway this isn't a blog.

      i had a weird concept for this piece and i'm not sure if it came through at all lmao. this was done in maybe 30 minutes.

      let me know if you can guess what the piece is describing.

      cheers,

      bishop.


      <poem>

      drip
      drip

      there's water on the
      floor, so don't

      slip
      slip

      shake your head,
      try to catch a

      grip
      grip

      drowning in your
      dreams, your legs

      kick
      kick

      bags under your
      eyes, you're looking

      sick
      sick

      .

      try to move your
      hand but you cant

      feel
      it

      she wants to cuddle
      up in your bed

      but
      it's

      made of steel and
      you can't seem to

      budge
      it

      staring up in-
      to a funnel

      what's
      this?


      oh the autumn sounds
      raining patters on the ground
      i wake up with a jolt
      on every time you come around

      and you never text to
      let me know before the fact
      i'm second guessing every minute
      tryna find out when you're at

      now we're laying back,
      looking straight into your eyes
      wonder if the next thing you say
      will be a goodbye

      your silence is a lie
      your crying leaves me mortified
      let me go, let me go,
      fuck, got water in my eyes.


      drip
      drip

      drip drip

      drip

      drip

      d..
      .

      .

      drip
      drip

      drip
      drip

      there's water on the
      floor, so don't

      slip
      slip

      shake your head,
      try to catch a

      grip
      grip

      drowning in your
      dreams, your legs

      kick
      kick

      bags under your
      eyes, you're looking

      sick
      sick

      .

      try to move your
      hand but you cant

      feel
      it

      she wants to cuddle
      up in your bed

      but
      it's

      made of steel and
      you can't seem to

      budge
      it

      staring up in-
      to a funnel

      what's
      this?


      </poem>

      (p.s. fuck yeah canada.)

      5 votes
    12. seriously tho stop touching venus fly traps it hurts them.

      post-mortem: holy actual beans dudes this is my most popular post by far! what'd you cats like about it so much? i swear to god my brain and body work in tandom to make sure i never actually do...

      post-mortem: holy actual beans dudes this is my most popular post by far! what'd you cats like about it so much?

      i swear to god my brain and body work in tandom to make sure i never actually do anything productive.

      i came to starbucks exclusively to work on some backend stuff for a project i've got, and i've spent the last hour sipping coffee, watching Joji music videos, and writing this lmao.

      i wish there was something like cocaine that wasn't, well, cocaine, that you could take and then you'd be like "hey maybe i should clean my room. hey it's a nice day out i should take a walk. ya know if i get work done now, i can actually take a break without feeling like lazy trash later on!"

      actually

      that sounds like weed.

      i need to move to a legal state lmao.

      but in order to do that i gotta get better at programming so i can actually get a car (ya fucked up, bishop) and get a new place.

      catch-22's are like so literally my favorite thing (:

      anyway this isn't even the poem lmao i'm just sober ranting at the internet.

      esskeetiiiiiit

      <poem>

      there's this
      black hole lingers
      'round every corner.

      obscure sounds
      dark haze,
      and no borders

      it looms near,
      strikes fear
      when it's closer

      heart runs,
      hands shake,
      i get colder.

      /

      sometimes
      i get close
      take a peek in

      low growl
      sounds loud
      gotta feed it

      audrey
      she's hungry
      when you're bleeding

      jumped in-
      to my blood
      i'm her beacon

      /

      now i can't shake
      this damned desire, god
      i think i gotta call her

      am i safer when she's
      gone? she's in my dreams
      do i still love her?

      my best friend is
      mad, the shit i do
      only appalls her.

      the pit, it's in my
      stomach, god i
      feel it getting stronger.

      /

      audrey

      audrey

      keep the peace, please.

      audrey

      audrey

      play my heart strings.

      you told me to

      obey you baby,

      you control me.

      audrey

      lay me

      to rest in peace

      </poem>

      bishop

      (p.s. i noticed that there always seems to be a vote on my post like the second after i post my poetry shit. whoever you are you're cute af and i love you ok)

      19 votes
    13. jetpack like spy kids

      my head is aching, day four in sobriety. is it the drugs or every- thing that runs about my dreams all the people in my night- mares never let me sleep. my angry father, my old lover, or my...

      my head is aching,
      day four in sobriety.
      is it the drugs or every-
      thing that runs about my dreams
      all the people in my night-
      mares never let me sleep.
      my angry father, my old
      lover, or my mother's screams.

      i go to bed at noon
      and i wake up at three.
      no power left, make some coffee
      just whatever's cheap.
      folgers tastes like cigarettes,
      a cup of apathy.
      wanna sleep inside a noose
      on a dramatic tree.*

      eyes on gucci cus
      they're catching bags
      they're getting dark, like the
      stones came, painted them black
      i wanna move to where the dems are at.
      to the palm trees and the medicine.

      i fantasize about a booked flight,
      goodbyes, and a packed bag.
      fresh check, laptop,
      in my backpack
      new friends, new home,
      and a black lab.
      but that's all in the clouds
      and my drugs are a jetpack.

      but now i'm sober
      and i'm jetlagged.
      and now she's back
      turning my dreams bad
      woke up, aching head,
      and a hurting back.
      dig in my closet
      for a white bag.

      if i'm lucky it's a heart attack.


      • this line isn't mine, wish it was though, i love how self-aware it is when it comes to the hyperdramatic bullshit i always write. would love to write some more stuff in this style.

      oddly enough, it's from a game grumps episode of super mario galaxy lmao

      maybe adding that and fixing the meter in these. i feel like the meter in my sober stuff is really jumpy - i can hear the different parts in my head but i don't think im piecing them together well.

      4 votes
    14. Analyzing a drunken mind.

      have i ever done post-drunken poetry before? i've got to be breaking some sort of rule with the amount i've been spamming this site over the last four hours. I'm gonna go make breakfast and take a...

      have i ever done post-drunken poetry before?

      i've got to be breaking some sort of rule with the amount i've been spamming this site over the last four hours.

      I'm gonna go make breakfast and take a few days away to compensate.

      sorry. thanks for listening.

      much love


      i woke up after
      three hours of sleep
      took a look around my room
      and everything was tinted green
      had a sobering reminder about
      why i shouldn't drink
      i get caught up in the moment
      and try too hard not to think.

      i'd do anything to go numb,
      i'm afraid of that side of me.
      it's hard, i hate myself
      when in the middle of sobriety.
      the room is tinted yellow as
      the sunlight slips in quietly
      i'm at a fork in the road,
      man, i gotta choose carefully.

      to the left a road of headaches,
      heartache, a masochistic fantasy
      take everything the hard way.
      drunken, spinning memories
      thinking of the good days,
      accepting they're behind you
      and your options won't change.
      you're numb but somehow bitter
      life is shorter, and it starts to fade.

      off right a path of effort and torment,
      pushing through the years of shit
      that you drink just to forget.
      the subtle kisses on your forehead
      are bullets of a war chest
      you're naked and afraid and
      your perspective's all distorted
      tryna shake your obsession with the morbid
      it's been about a year since you last felt worth it.

      and say you choose the better
      of the two, here's the evil thing.
      the second road is always there,
      quiet, calm, and glistening.
      internal scars and all the
      hurt will start to dissipate
      just share another secret,
      close your eyes, and disintegrate

      you're still quite young,
      there's time to do the right thing.
      maybe depression in aesthetic
      isn't really worth you dying
      and you won't find steady love
      by telling everyone you're crying
      that just attracts the broken, you
      need something solid and inspiring
      to all of you who noticed,
      heard my wishes and my wailing

      i'll switch to water, hope
      that better starts prevailing

      3 votes
    15. solitude

      idgaf we going two in one day. ban me if my shit's annoying, just give me my posts first. 's all i ask. i know a lot of the shit i write is blunt. i know a lot of it is too straight-forward for...

      idgaf we going two in one day. ban me if my shit's annoying, just give me my posts first. 's all i ask.

      i know a lot of the shit i write is blunt.

      i know a lot of it is too straight-forward for people to be comfortable with.

      i honestly don't care.

      i don't write for them.

      i write for my sanity.

      i want my words to be your drug.

      more drunken poetry.

      god bless those who support. you keep me here. i'm glad you enjoy my works and i hope, at the very least, i help you find catharsis or explore a morbid curiosity into the lives of the damned.

      i am here for you. i am an example.


      from dust we're built,
      and to ash we fall
      wanna get so high, that
      i can't move at all.
      turns out her secret
      was xan all along
      i need some harder shit
      just to push me along

      never thought that love
      was really a drug
      that was just some dumb
      shit they'd say in the songs
      but now it's done, you're
      gone, and i'm having withdrawals
      i'm getting into drugs and
      i'm carving my arms

      and you couldn't give a fuck,
      you never call
      guess all of those years
      didn't matter at all
      all the shit we went through
      can suffer the fall
      so why am i even here,
      or breathing at all.

      had me in a trance, girl
      i was under your spell
      every command, on
      my knees i knelt
      really suicidal, that's the
      hand i was dealt.
      kiss me on my scars, i
      think it's sexy as hell

      the only thing that turns
      me on - facades of real love
      so if you're tryna lure me
      in, give me a real hug.
      pull me close, give a kiss,
      that's the best drugs
      need you to take the
      breath out of my lungs

      fuck. i want to die.

      "i'd still blow my brains out just for you"

      9 votes
    16. High Flight

      Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth, And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings; Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth Of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things...

      Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
      And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
      Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
      Of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
      You have not dreamed of — Wheeled and soared and swung
      High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
      I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
      My eager craft through footless halls of air...
      Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
      I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
      Where never lark or ever eagle flew —
      And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
      The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
      Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
      ---By John Gillespie Magee Jr

      6 votes
    17. I have a friend with a secret.

      hey you, reading the text sample on the homepage. open this. read the whole thing. god i remember why i write when im drunk. i'm back #bishop babyyyyyyyyyy i've got a little friend with an even...

      hey you, reading the text sample on the homepage. open this. read the whole thing.

      god i remember why i write when im drunk. i'm back
      #bishop babyyyyyyyyyy

      i've got a little friend
      with an even smaller secret
      she entrusted it in me
      and i don't know if i can keep it.
      i've got a little friend
      who told me a little secret
      it's the best i've ever heard
      my god i wish i could relive it


      she asked me
      do you trust me?
      as rain poured down on the window

      .

      i replied honey
      would you hurt me?
      'course not, i didn't think so.

      .

      and we laid back
      here it fades black
      a few things i can't tell you.

      .

      you'd be angry
      try to stop me
      don't wanna know what things came to

      .

      but we laid there
      sipping night air
      as the rain fell, room was candlelit

      .

      she felt a little-bittle afraid.
      are you okay?
      i promise you i can handle it.

      .

      she laid back, she said alright
      i hope that you're right
      don't wanna send you scrambling

      .

      then she got close,
      told me a secret
      my god i felt outstanding


      i've got a little friend
      with an even smaller secret
      she entrusted it in me
      and i don't know if i can keep it.
      i've got a little friend
      who told me a little secret
      it's the best i've ever heard
      my god i wish i could relive it

      (oh my god)

      i've got a little friend
      with an even smaller secret
      she trusted me with it, by-
      god i can barely believe it
      i've got a little friend
      with an itty-bitty secret
      god i never knew that
      i would come to need it


      then she made me promise
      that i wouldn't go and spread
      the word about my findings

      .

      said she'd be upset with me
      and told me all these nasty things
      about what she would do to me

      .

      i gotta tan baby with
      a little white secret
      ......can you believe it

      ....
      ....
      ..my god i can't believe it

      .

      .

      WHISPERS IN THE DARK

      WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE A PLAYGROUND

      NOW YOU WENT AND GOT IT BAD

      WENT POKEMON AND WHITED OUT

      YOU GOT A GOOD FRIEND

      SHE GAVE YOU A SECRET

      I'VE NEVER MET SOMEBODY WEAKER

      HOW THE HELL COULDN'T YOU KEEP IT


      i've got a little friend
      with an even smaller secret
      she entrusted it in me
      and i don't know if i can keep it.
      i've got a little friend
      who told me a little secret
      it's the best i've ever heard
      my god i wish i could relive it

      .

      i dont know why i even try to write sober lmao.i cant wait to move to a legal state and just stay crossfaded 24/7.

      imagine the shit i'll come up with.

      making my own music. putting my heart in the lyivs, actually being able to record.

      you lot might actually be able to hear one of these "peoms" put to music

      14 votes
    18. serre-moi /// sehr moi

      cool to see i'm not the only person writing poetry on here anymore. shoutout to @precise and @zoec for sharing their works recently. def looking forward to more in the future. bishop. do you think...

      cool to see i'm not the only person writing poetry on here anymore. shoutout to @precise and @zoec for sharing their works recently. def looking forward to more in the future.

      bishop.


      do you think i'm pretty?
      do you think of me at all?
      i've been laying here and shrinking
      oh my god i'm feeling small
      every bit of stock that i had
      in myself, i auctioned off
      invested it in you, hoping
      you'd return my calls.

      mama i just need a hug
      baby need a little love
      miss how every day you'd tell me
      "baby you look cute as fuck"
      now you're gone i'm feeling rough
      wonder if i'm good enough
      used to be so confident
      now i'm into hella drugs
      every time i look into the mirror
      i start pouring up
      yeah she was your better half
      you're the worse, and quartered up.
      your nose is too big, hair thin
      need a tummy tuck
      need someone to show you love
      warm kisses and tummy rubs

      you were my rock and now i sniff rocks.
      we had a ball, and now i pop bars.
      suicidal thoughts, and crashed cars.
      i'm not good enough for any heart.
      catch a bag, catch a nose job.
      dark eyes, need to nod off.
      5'6 never get tall.
      take my brain with a sawed-off.

      god i wish somebody told me
      that the world was gonna roll me
      up into a piece of paper
      light my ass on fire - smoking.
      laying in the dark and dosing
      tryna keep my eyes from closing
      took you to my favorite cities
      love was in St. Louis, growing.
      boy you're getting kinda fat,
      acne's bad, already know it.
      chipped a tooth back in the crash
      people cannot help but notice
      looking down at my whole world eroded
      can't seem to control it
      guess this is the life i've chosen
      getting high and never coping

      mama i just need a hug
      baby need a little love
      girl what happened to the old
      days of us not giving up
      you gave me euphoria
      fuck, i never needed drugs
      i know we had some hard times
      i guess i didn't love enough
      i know that we would argue, we
      would yell, and i would wanna cry
      but at least i had someone
      to hold and didn't wanna die
      hope you have a better life,
      peacing out for now cus i'm
      gonna take a couple drugs and
      pray to god i die tonight

      6 votes
    19. A prayer

      A very short poem in 28 words, originally written on the fly for personal reasons, and shown to another audience. Revised for metrical harmony. O night and secret morning, come to me Invade this...

      A very short poem in 28 words, originally written on the fly for personal reasons, and shown to another audience. Revised for metrical harmony.


      O night and secret morning, come to me
      Invade this body, use my strange desire
      To reenact the birth of midday sun
      Contained in cold, recurring, starless nights

      6 votes
    20. weary///deplteted.

      hello. so all of my works have been on here thus far. either existing as posts on tildes if it's something new, or on my desktop if it's a piece from earlier in the year. i've not gotten the...

      hello.

      so all of my works have been on here thus far. either existing as posts on tildes if it's something new, or on my desktop if it's a piece from earlier in the year.

      i've not gotten the chance to head into a studio yet, thought i'm curious. would anyone care to hear any of these pieces put to music?

      if so, which one? i imagine myself being on limited funds for the first few months once i get the fuck out of texas - furnishing a new apartment from the ground up is gonna be money, so i'm limited on how much studio time i'll be able to get but it's definitely going to be a priority.

      also - what'd you have for breakfast?

      -bishop


      how can creativity
      be so void of itself
      writing poetry is grabbing
      beats from off the shelf
      finding other words to
      talk about the shit you felt
      and repeating endlessly
      that you want to kill yourself
      you turned into a druggie
      after mommy up and left
      you did the best you could
      and now you're feeling all depressed
      no money, think you're ugly
      and you're wanting to regress
      dreaming of the days you'd
      lay your head upon her chest

      it's the same shit.
      ain't shit changed
      in the last 90 days
      with your lame quips.
      hit the drain switch.
      catch a liquor wave
      write about wanting a grave
      in a krater.
      baby face it -
      your mind is going numb
      because you're never number one
      in your focus.
      but you chose it.
      saw the flags, you were blind.
      joy in second to the grind
      man it's hopeless.

      hope we find some other shit now.
      find some new words to write down.
      otherwise i'm going down.
      otherwise i'm going down.

      crawl into a corner, fade
      into obscurity
      never did i think my love
      would be the death of me
      conflicted, wanting peace,
      but i also want to scream
      wicca bloody sacrifice
      when you show on my screen
      tired of this fucking state
      i really wanna leave
      head out to the west
      spend all my money on some weed
      maybe in stay in Texas
      do some harder shit for free
      they say be yourself but
      even i'm tired of me.

      and i'm solo.
      friends don't understand
      family do what they can
      but they don't know
      i feel so alone.
      try to play it safe
      but the xan's a call away
      i could go numb.
      is it good though?
      maybe shit's laced,
      put me in a better place
      never come home.
      am i done now?
      have i said all i can say?
      will these ever go your way?
      i feel dumb now.

      hope we find some other shit now.
      find some new words to write down.
      otherwise i'm going down.
      otherwise i'm going down.

      doing it again, i keep
      on repeating myself
      telling everyone that every-
      day's like i'm in hell
      never new ideas, why
      am i always compelled
      to write all of these poems
      that are copies of themselves
      is this all cathartic,
      or at all good for my health?
      nowhere else to turn, i
      guess i'm feeling overwhelmed
      maybe i should call it quits
      and keep it to myself
      and pray to god that i
      will not see november twelfth.

      9 votes
    21. teagritty.

      howdy there. had a good day today, landed a new contract! but of course i can't close out the week on a happy post, where's the fun in that? so i put some drugs in my tea and wrote a thing....

      howdy there. had a good day today, landed a new contract! but of course i can't close out the week on a happy post, where's the fun in that?

      so i put some drugs in my tea and wrote a thing.

      jouissez.


      manny couldn't stand in his corner
      for his last fight
      wilbur turned around, downwind
      on his last flight
      osipova sat down, and rolled
      off her tights
      big sigh
      tongue-tied
      tryna get their words right
      don't cry big guy
      i know you'll be alright
      life builds character out
      of all the bad times
      why do my characters
      always end up bad guys
      even james evans is
      falling in some bad times

      had a pet, but she
      left and took it with
      every time he close his eyes,
      her visions dance around his head
      doesn't want to sleep, so
      he's turning to the cigarettes
      kinda hard to cuddle up
      next to a slilhouette
      he craved depth, but
      he had nowhere to lay his head
      so he grabbed a shovel, headed
      out and dug a grave instead
      no more confidence, put
      some holes in his esophagus
      crossed his arms and fell back
      into his own sarcophagus

      blind optimists start
      to make his stomach sick
      you say he'll be fine,
      how are you so sure of it

      (beat.)

      how are you so sure of it

      times are hard, sui-
      cide epidemic
      one heated moment,
      rash decisions
      one year feeling this shit
      i can't live with
      remember when you made
      me liberated

      used to be a loverboy
      now i'm all jaded
      look at myself in the mirror
      and i hate it
      wonder if i'm thought about
      well, or i'm hated
      tryna forget, get
      numb in this krater
      wondering now if
      you were a sadist
      otherwise how could you
      lie to their faces?
      tell em that you'd be
      there when they need it?
      i'm not the only body
      you left bleeding

      he craved depth, but
      he had nowhere to lay his head
      so he grabbed a shovel, headed
      out and dug a grave instead
      no more confidence, put
      some holes in his esophagus
      crossed his arms and fell back
      into his own sarcophagus
      "FUK LUV" blood-etched,
      tatted on his chest
      eyes closed, smile wide, now
      that he can get some rest.
      high hopes that there's
      life in the next.
      what he wouldn't give,
      just to start over again.

      10 votes
    22. lunadontlovegood.

      i mean come on how often do i write something upbeat eh? bishop. esskeetit. takin off rocketship falling in a krater look around supernova feeling upgraded on the moon turned into rocks i'm...

      i mean come on how often do i write something upbeat eh?


      bishop.

      esskeetit.

      takin off
      rocketship
      falling in a krater
      look around
      supernova
      feeling upgraded
      on the moon
      turned into rocks
      i'm integrated
      i'm goin up never
      coming home don't
      lose your patience
      takin off
      rocketship
      falling in a krater
      look around
      supernova
      feeling upgraded
      on the moon
      turned into rocks
      i'm integrated
      i'm goin up never
      coming home don't
      lose your patience

      baby mama trauma
      got me all
      dilapidated
      only ever feel
      myself when i
      get sedated
      on some tony
      robbins shit my
      giant awakened
      hope we're
      witnessing another
      legend in the making

      keep the dream alive
      i'll make a home
      out of chicago
      get a new girl
      some better friends
      and pop some bottles
      tryna climb this
      fucking mountain and
      i cannot let go
      thank god i
      got my heart broken
      by that model.

      you called me a snake
      and then you took my
      heart to battle
      grab my neck and threw
      my body down
      into the gravel
      buried me, in
      the dirt found
      oil and fossils
      didn't think i'd
      build a rocket and
      then have a blastoff

      takin off
      rocketship
      falling in a krater
      look around
      supernova
      feeling upgraded
      on the moon
      turned into rocks
      i'm integrated
      i'm goin up never
      coming home don't
      lose your patience
      takin off
      rocketship
      falling in a krater
      look around
      supernova
      feeling upgraded
      on the moon
      turned into rocks
      i'm integrated
      i'm goin up never
      coming home don't
      lose your patience

      7 votes
    23. at night the sandman sends me pretty things in unconsenting dreams.

      so i know nobody asks for my shit poetry lmao. i just wanna take a second to thank tildes for being a place for me to get shit off my chest. i wrote a comment on another site earlier today about...

      so i know nobody asks for my shit poetry lmao.

      i just wanna take a second to thank tildes for being a place for me to get shit off my chest.

      i wrote a comment on another site earlier today about catharsis, artistic expression, and depression. and it really made me appreciate the little community we've got going here.

      i have a feeling it's the same 5-6 people who upvote my posts whenever they come through, and i love you six to hell and back.

      i doubt i'd even get that kinda traction anywhere else.

      thank you for the support.

      thank you for letting me vent.

      much love.

      bishop.


      it's 3:11 like
      the band you like
      remember dancing
      under flashing lights
      ripped off your bra
      threw it up high
      heading home, arm in arm
      what a night
      i couldn't see it i
      guess i was blind
      fetish for pain meant
      you loved a fight
      you came the loudest
      when you held the knife
      and drove deep into
      my chest that night.

      you held me close
      and kissed me soft
      sat in your lap
      and gently rocked
      empathic smile and
      a lying tongue
      you made a promise
      that we'd still talk.
      behind your back you
      held a loaded gun
      pulled the trigger took
      off in a run
      into his arms
      into the sun
      things are getting dark
      in our garage.

      dysthymia
      is in my blood
      and i cant end
      it soon enough
      but i just do not
      have the guts
      yet.
      water my tongue
      with shitty rum
      and pray that i
      will find the one
      and she'll still love
      me when i'm drunk
      and
      dysthymia
      i'm getting high
      and i don't really
      wanna die
      it's just i never
      feel alive
      man
      dripping knife
      a sacrifice
      mr. sandman
      please be nice
      i don't wanna
      see her face
      now

      it's 3:11 and
      i'm home alone
      asking questions
      that nobody knows
      should i buy
      some xans
      buy
      some coke
      would i be upset
      if i overdose
      it's been some months
      and still here i am
      hooded sweater, scarred
      arms, kicking cans
      a black sheep,
      a lost lamb
      still in the kiln -
      shell of a man

      dysthymia
      is in my blood
      and i cant end
      it soon enough
      but i just do not
      have the guts
      yet.
      water my tongue
      with shitty rum
      and pray that i
      will find the one
      and she'll still love
      me when i'm drunk
      and
      dysthymia
      i'm getting high
      and i don't really
      wanna die
      it's just i never
      feel alive
      man
      dripping knife
      a sacrifice
      mr. sandman
      please be nice
      i don't wanna
      see her face
      now

      13 votes
    24. Ramona.

      admittedly i got really high a few days ago and watched Scott Pilgrim vs The World for the first time and i haven't been able to get the whole ramona flowers archetype out of my mind so here we...

      admittedly i got really high a few days ago and watched Scott Pilgrim vs The World for the first time and i haven't been able to get the whole ramona flowers archetype out of my mind so here we are.

      comme d'hab - l'enjoi


      Oh Ramona
      Black tie, pink hair
      converse
      geeked on the soda
      high heels
      tight dress
      choker
      got my focus
      Don't have
      insta, if
      you did
      you'd blow up
      that's all hype shit
      you don't
      vibe with
      though, yeah?

      Oh Ramona,
      spinnin for some days
      life on the skates
      out of control, yeah.
      (beat)
      caught in the waves
      getting thrown every way
      drowned and washed up
      (beat)
      tryin to see
      better life on the beach
      getting tired
      (beat)
      praying that you'll
      come and save me,
      drop me a line, girl.

      Seven evil exes lurking
      in and out of Texas
      searching for the
      next to come and
      make me
      high.
      Two fits of depression,
      dragon-chasing some regression
      and you come and tell
      me it'll be all-
      right.
      Love you with a passion,
      till you burn me down to ashes
      drive away and leave my
      house alight with
      fire.
      they want you to join em,
      'Mona begging you be stoic,
      i can give you love and
      you'll keep me a-
      live.

      Oh Ramona,
      Blue eyes, white lies
      sharks lie
      deep in the waters.
      High hopes,
      good dope,
      cutthroat,
      raise my dosage.
      So far, this
      de-
      pression,
      magnum opus.
      You're my 1-Up
      new lifeline
      my hope,
      love.

      Oh Ramona,


      Bishop

      8 votes
    25. bourbon throat burn.

      it's unfinished because i cant finish ayytjomgm but i have to post something i would rather do coke than go to bed have these visions of you dancing in my head i don't really want to die go numb...

      it's unfinished because i cant finish ayytjomgm but i have to post something

      i would rather do coke
      than go to bed
      have these visions of you
      dancing in my head
      i don't really want to die
      go numb instead
      reminiscing on our home
      in DTX
      now i'm all alone, vibing
      on some emo shit
      now i'm lost and i'm drowning
      in these emoceans
      everybody looking at me, saying
      i'm full of shit
      maybe that's why i phase out
      and stay quiet
      people always asking me
      how'm i doing?
      they're just lucky i got plans
      i haven't gone through with
      i don't really wanna be on
      suicidal shit
      but fantasizing about dying
      helps me get through it.

      .....

      6 votes
    26. sixtysevenhundred.

      on some goth shit meditating in the graveyard tarring up my lungs while i'm walking down the boulevard sad little white boy crying, thinks his life's hard you don't know pain, there's a genocide...

      on some goth shit
      meditating in the graveyard
      tarring up my lungs while
      i'm walking down the boulevard
      sad little white boy
      crying, thinks his life's hard
      you don't know pain,
      there's a genocide in Myanmar
      people get their throats slit
      believing in the "wrong" god
      you had a girl make you high
      and you fell hard
      families are dying
      and you want to be a rockstar
      so why you taking drugs?
      what you trying to get numb for?

      i just want a life that
      might be worth waking up for
      share my music with my
      friends and maybe do an encore
      invite some people over, get
      some liquor that forever pours
      their lessons or their lesions,
      ask them all about their open sores
      sixtysevenhundred people
      either shot or burned alive
      you're dreaming of a good girl
      that you could probably call a wife
      this is how real loss looks
      this is real strife
      you drew a bath of henny
      and you want to take a deep dive

      on some goth shit
      looking out through your red eyes
      shades always on like
      a blanket to hide behind
      bleeding out, wounded
      at the first try at real life
      how does this shit balance,
      do you think you deserve to cry?
      praying for a goddess, "i
      pray you'll come and cleanse me"
      a nation full of people
      down the barrel of a cleansing
      Jekyll and I'm hiding in
      and out of all my draining
      should i even feel like this?
      there's no way it's the same thing.

      10 votes
    27. merely players

      this world is so full of energy constantly amazed by the shit i see in front of me all my wishes all my demons parade in circles surrounding me it's just the vibe that i keep it's just the air...

      this world is so full of energy
      constantly amazed by
      the shit i see in front of me
      all my wishes all my demons
      parade in circles surrounding me
      it's just the vibe that i keep
      it's just the air that i breathe
      i guess it's masochistic tendencies
      i don't want your positivity
      if you have to force it into me
      i let it hit me gracefully
      got nothing against smiling.

      it's great, don't need to say it.
      good day, when the chardonnay hits
      good friends, gonna make your sides split
      good laughs, gonna bust a lung with
      but don't, need to make it seem like
      i don't, have times when i cry
      i don't, wanna force out a vibe
      of hope, when it just don't feel right
      Sono, l'atarassia
      Voi sie-te i Pagliacci
      Why act, like the world is ending
      on days, when you find you're frowning

      this world is so full of sappy shit
      Everyone subsists off
      forced happiness, false positives
      bloody nails digging for
      every causative, we're at odds to live
      with the negative - shit's definitive
      that's why 1 in 5 on anxiety medicine
      sadness the civil sin,
      at all costs repent against
      grin through chagrin it's sheepskin
      insomniac meds for sleeping
      forget that though, my heart's leaping
      I swear to god
      every morning, open eyes
      birds chirping, and i'm in awe
      don't give a nod at my
      curtain facade and try defraud
      ridi, ridi, Pagliaccio,
      e ognun,

      .

      applaudirà


      bishop

      5 votes
    28. la donna è mobile.

      i had a dream, i saw my body as i stood watching outside of it an open door i had a guest, a little blondie baphomet she crept quiet up to my bed laid her hands upon my chest through groggy eyes i...

      i had a dream,
      i saw my body
      as i stood watching
      outside of it
      an open door
      i had a guest,
      a little blondie
      baphomet
      she crept quiet
      up to my bed
      laid her hands
      upon my chest
      through groggy eyes
      i saw an angel.
      took her hand,
      she made me promises.

      i sold my soul
      and said lets glo
      she passed a blunt
      said i dont know
      she insists
      i took a hit
      i felt a burning
      at my lips
      i let a cough
      the fuck is this?
      opened my eyes
      it was a kiss
      a little smirk
      she bit my lip
      she drew a knife
      she slit my wrist

      she cut her own
      said it's a pact
      now we're enslaved
      the bond intact
      the blood'll flow
      beyond the cracks
      and trickle down
      and leave a path
      and when we're old
      we can look back
      say what a life
      and have a laugh
      i'll be your wife,
      the better half
      you'll die, i'll write
      your epitaph

      i had a dream,
      i saw her body
      bleeding through a
      wedding dress
      she smiled still
      her face was pale
      she fed me love,
      i starved depressed
      an angel or
      a siren who would
      sing to me in
      soft caress
      i never thought
      she'd be my death,
      my little blondie
      baphomet

      bishop.

      6 votes
    29. the perks of being alive.

      ten months, three kings. fuck. things you should know if you're gonna fuck with drugs. [reddit link] relevant shit: "Legends" x Juice WRLD "THE BLACKEST BALLOON" x Denzel Curry let's get to the...

      ten months, three kings.

      fuck.

      things you should know if you're gonna fuck with drugs. [reddit link]

      relevant shit:

      "Legends" x Juice WRLD
      "THE BLACKEST BALLOON" x Denzel Curry

      let's get to the piece


      death always seemed imminent
      every track he wrote it in
      real goth shit he'd represent
      drugs never put him on the fence
      geeked off coke, asleep off xans
      ate a couple shrooms he was diving in
      two hydros and two oxys blend
      had a full pill bottle in his hands
      nobody knew he would get so bent
      nobody knew it was laced with fent
      a message from postmortem breath
      everybody stop, get off your shit
      message rang, got left on sent
      looks like nobody's listening
      the saddest case that you could present
      never heard a peep about this shit again

      just pop another pill
      while the house is on fire
      just a warm blanket baby boy,
      you're gonna be fine.
      tryna look around,
      but you can't focus your eyes
      end up staring down the bottle
      tryna see what's inside
      looks like you found the
      perks of being alive.

      next gunned down midsummer
      cut across by two gunners
      reached their hands in
      to grab his things
      then bolted off and
      let shots ring
      they caught his neck
      boy couldn't breathe
      blood poured onto the
      beamer seats
      right as this boy began to preach
      a brand new message bent on peace
      a brand new face for the world to see
      his eyes saw love in the future
      tryna inspire life out of the dead sea
      20 years old, brought to his knees

      just pop another pill
      while the house is on fire
      just a warm blanket baby boy,
      you're gonna be fine.
      tryna look around,
      but you can't focus your eyes
      end up staring down the bottle
      tryna see what's inside
      looks like you found the
      perks of being alive.

      blue slides on both feet,
      just a college kid who loved weed
      found himself in a new scene
      little more fame, little more green
      then he started touring
      got hooked off the purp drink
      off the cocaine and promethazine
      found a swimming pool
      poured in the lean
      tried to swim out
      wouldn't let him leave
      pulled him to the deep
      wouldn't let him breathe
      cinderella, he had a queen
      ended, toxic, but they were teamed
      now four months later - it's the final scene.

      just pop another pill
      while the house is on fire
      just a warm blanket baby boy,
      you're gonna be fine.
      tryna look around,
      but you can't focus your eyes
      end up staring down the bottle
      tryna see what's inside
      looks like you found the
      perks of being alive.


      "Star Shopping" x Lil Peep

      "Snow" x XXXTentacion

      "Self Care" x Mac Miller

      rest in power my guys.

      8 votes
    30. slope.

      bishop. i want to go to colorado by the fire with a bottle of champagne with a little marijuana and a pillow tired of looking out the window every tree a weeping willow done with dying in this...

      bishop.


      i want to go to colorado
      by the fire with a bottle
      of champagne with a little
      marijuana and a pillow
      tired of looking out the window
      every tree a weeping willow
      done with dying in this riddle
      i just wanna live a little and

      i might wanna try skiing
      down the slopes but
      i don't wanna fall
      grab a friend and
      hit the snow just
      try to vibe it off
      can't feel my face
      i'm feeling better
      bad shit can't recall
      snowball fights
      my heart is racing
      til the night falls

      been sober dreaming of chicago
      off the loop we're eating tacos
      you made a ring out of a napkin
      and proposed on south financial
      my cheeks on rubies oh like marco
      to the hotel that we called home
      slept on each other on the green line
      highland park right by the water

      i might wanna try skiing
      down the slopes but
      i don't wanna fall
      memories got
      me all dark, just
      try to vibe it off
      can't feel my face
      i'm feeling better
      bad shit can't recall
      snowball fights
      my heart is racing
      til the night falls

      10 votes
    31. crollo.

      nowadays i dont really feel alive just blending day to day fuck around to pass the time sitting on my hands, eating snacks watching tv. waiting for a change pray an angel comes to lift me maybe...

      nowadays i dont
      really feel alive
      just blending day to day
      fuck around to pass the time
      sitting on my hands, eating
      snacks watching tv.
      waiting for a change
      pray an angel comes to lift me
      maybe this is penance
      yeah, the cost of all the sinning
      all pointing to the night
      when you did some heavy drinking.
      bottle to your lips
      knife at the wrist
      her essence in your head
      you can't recall her voice
      but you recant the promises

      chant them like a cultist
      while you watch the silver dance
      and your press to the beat
      of your alcoholic pants
      sweat fills your hair
      haze fills the mind
      love, pain, and anger
      made your soul unwind
      now it lays there,
      exposed to open air
      only to be trampled on
      by those who should be there
      in a spot of rage you
      threw the knife into the floor
      rose from your chair and
      opened up the closet door
      only to write in red upon the white
      "STOP ME" in bold, what foresight

      you whip your head around
      try to shake the thoughts out
      you can't recall her face,
      now an obscure grey cloud
      that radiates depression
      makes you feel alone
      spent years with a person
      they can't once pick up the phone
      spent years with a person
      yet you can't recall her voice
      we said we loved us to death
      i'm finding truth in that choice
      you've suffered spring and summer
      now you're heading for the fall
      you look about your broken mind
      god-damn it all
      you thought you'd built a home
      you were in it for the haul
      appalled it's all dissolved
      your heart it calls for more resolve
      you miss her love, your home, your dog
      you drove your car into a wall.

      .

      .

      .

      .

      bones fractured top to bottom
      are the mind manifest
      codeine sponsored dreams of
      laying your head on her chest
      instead you feel a tightness on your neck
      and this ringing in your head
      you've got a neck brace, your mom's here,
      you're in a hospital bed.
      what's your name, and your birthday,
      perfect sir, where are you at?
      another nurse coming through
      to make sure my mind is still intact
      rib cracked, pelvic fracture, hooked
      up to an iv and a piss-bag
      you wore a seat belt and dont know
      if that's something to thank god for
      or be pissed at
      isn't this the kind of story
      that you wanted after all?
      just to be so down and broken
      hope someone saved you from the fall
      have someone to hold you, stroke your hair
      and tell you you can beat it all
      needing that, having a lack thereof
      you drove your car into a wall.

      10 votes
    32. blute.

      grüße - i bins. it's bishop. its german. enjoy. i blut jo i blut seit i hab was vermutet sie hat mi verlassen nach wi teilten like two years zusammen i rauch ja fach um zu verbringen die zeit so...

      grüße - i bins.

      it's bishop.

      its german.

      enjoy.


      i blut
      jo i blut
      seit i hab was
      vermutet
      sie hat mi
      verlassen
      nach wi teilten
      like two years
      zusammen
      i rauch ja
      fach um zu
      verbringen
      die zeit so
      dass ich wer-
      de ni mi
      zerstören

      vleicht kreig
      i ein paare
      face tats
      oder bath bombs
      weil i kan ni
      mehr lebn
      ohne dich
      nebn meiner seit
      i will einfach
      kiffen bis
      meiner lunge
      sterben
      seit du bis
      ni mehr hier
      i kampfe
      to find purpose

      im not worth it.

      so viele leude
      habn ihr probleme,
      auf deiner sorg'
      im not worth it
      i wunsch nach'm
      tag wrauf
      i sterb i'm
      in a hurry

      i hofe

      i hofe.

      i hofe
      die tagen
      komn gleich und
      du zruckkomst
      die rinnerung'n
      leben noch ja
      in mei'm kopf von
      when i knew you
      i höft dass
      du würdst ni
      vegessen
      alles we been through
      aber i hab's
      gefunden
      's machst di
      keine sorgn nach
      what i go through.

      nowadays it all me
      no you

      im not worth it

      im not worth it.

      2 votes
    33. modii.

      bishop. mi odii out of habit moaned your name out like an addict and the shock went through my body got me feeling like i had it and i guess that's all i needed just to keep a baby feeling any...

      bishop.

      mi odii


      out of habit moaned your
      name out like an addict
      and the shock went through
      my body got me feeling
      like i had it
      and i guess that's all i needed
      just to keep a baby feeling
      any will to keep on breathing
      in this world without you in it
      all of these abandoned memories
      our hot, deviant fantasies
      the shit you'd say on top of me
      the only thing that's stopping me
      could keep the knife away from me
      i'd do some things unsavory
      if you could come over and bring
      a little bit more pain to me

      wore my heart upon my arm
      you wore me upon your chest
      i been wishin on the stars
      to hear you say under your breath
      "honey come lay next to mama,
      you could use a little rest.
      take your shirt off baby boy,
      and i'll take care of all the rest."
      wrap your hands around my neck
      always took away my breath
      wanna hurt me when youre angry
      and i love when youre upset
      i miss when we were crazy
      drank the koolaid, diving in
      tell me that you lust for blood
      i'll carve your name into my skin

      this is bloodlust
      black metal loving out in public
      you're a drug
      and this is real love

      tell me that you hate me
      wear me down until you break me
      this is real love

      scars on my back
      a little makeup on my neck
      and that's your soft touch

      say you never loved me
      make me beg for you to hold me
      this is real love.
      this is bloodlust

      i guess youre never coming home
      got me feeling all depressed
      you made me feel some shit
      that i take drugs just to forget
      but all the dagga in the world
      cannot compare to how your lips
      send a wave throughout my body
      tear my heart up into strips
      girl you can be my queen
      and i'll just be your little pawn
      you can pull my puppet strings
      give me a reason to go on.
      i can give you full control
      babe i dont wanna be in charge
      give you everything i am
      if i can only have your heart

      i just need somebody there
      i hate waking up alone
      i have no idea why i
      try to check my phone
      like somebody gonna text me
      talkin "babe you wanna go?
      you been on my mind
      and now im thinking we could roll
      a little blunt, and maybe cuddle up
      in my bed if you want"
      just want somebody to act like
      maybe imma prize for once
      tired of working every day and
      always planning nights for one
      if i just knew you didnt hate me
      id stop staring at my gun
      how'm i meant to walk
      when the ground i knew is gone
      id so much rather wake up by your
      side than write these songs

      but this is bloodlust

      this is bloodlust
      black metal loving out in public
      you're a drug
      and this is real love

      tell me that you hate me
      wear me down until you break me
      this is real love

      scars on my back
      a little makeup on my neck
      and that's your soft touch

      say you never loved me
      make me beg for you to hold me
      this is real love.
      this is bloodlust

      6 votes
    34. music.

      bishop. tw: death i remember the day that they died. you called me at work in the middle of my shift shooken up, you wailed and cried you were hours away divorce was on the horizon your mother she...

      bishop.

      tw: death


      i remember the day that they died.
      you called me at work in the
      middle of my shift shooken up,
      you wailed and cried
      you were hours away
      divorce was on the horizon
      your mother
      she went to get the last of her things
      brothers in tow, each under her wings
      wanting to grab their toys, their cars,
      living in an apartment, left the trampoline

      the pool's mostly empty now, and green.

      i was always taught that ghosts scream
      that any haunted house is a broken record
      out of a low-budget horror scene
      blood on the walls, ripped at the seams,
      what they never tell you in the movies
      is that the real scare is going to the house
      six months later and finding it empty

      and silent.

      all that's left is the memory of the violent
      no one left to water the yard
      grass is yellow, in the garden
      wilted violets
      and the paintings still hang on the walls.
      the lamp is still there on the nightstand
      the pots and pans are still in the kitchen
      the paper is still on the desk
      everything is still where it should be
      every item right where it was left
      except this sudden void in your soul
      and the unending feeling of being depressed
      and lost,

      scared

      a lost lamb in a land once shared
      a home where you would draw or write
      and now all that's left is light
      flittering in through the windows
      that just feels so out of place
      paintings on the floor covering up
      the holes where the bullets laid
      open casket you broke down
      at the sight of his little face

      god what a fucking monster

      two years now since the day you lost her
      and i have no idea how you are.
      i took it upon myself to watch over you, a foster
      and hoped to show you real love after this imposter
      came into your life and ripped it in pieces
      with this targeted hatred and ceaseless screaming
      god if i could go back in time.

      even still now i wish to trade their lives for mine

      even if it just meant another day,
      maybe one last time for you to
      share a smile or say goodbye
      to make peace and hug your mom
      or read harry potter to your brothers here
      in person and not occasionally from beyond
      the grave that plays that same god-fucking-forsaken
      song as the house does when you visit.

      silence.

      why dont they play music in the graveyards.

      why dont they play music in the graveyards.

      7 votes
    35. pillo.

      alright so much to my dismay, no, not currently day drunk (though a mimosa does not sound half bad right now!) so in place of my standard late-night drunk poetry, have some...

      alright so much to my dismay, no, not currently day drunk (though a mimosa does not sound half bad right now!)

      so in place of my standard late-night drunk poetry, have some mid-morning-havent-slept-in-36-hours-poetry.

      cheers

      bishop


      remember wanting what i got now
      didn't think it'd be a let down
      guess back then i wasnt thinking sound
      deadly quiet with you not around

      got me so down im
      making lots of pillows
      taking heavy shots and smoking
      off a lot of rillos
      now my mind is gone, am i okay
      i cannot think so
      falling down from heaven hitting
      every branch like plinko

      like you're yoko ono and
      i'm every single beatle.
      warring with myself and every
      general's in fetal
      got my world all fucked but
      i lay here with no libido
      sorry if i fucked it up, i
      swear i did not mean to

      but at least i saw a palm tree
      caught a little of the ocean breeze
      heavy sand where you buried me
      for the forest couldn't hear the screams.

      got me so down im
      making lots of pillows
      taking heavy shots and smoking
      off a lot of rillos
      think my mind is gone, am i okay
      i cannot think so
      falling down from heaven hitting
      every branch like plinko

      no quiero recordar nada
      que ella ha dicho
      Como el tiempo cuando
      ella me ha prometido
      que nosotros siempre
      quedaríamos amigos
      He querido solo estar
      perfecto contigo.

      loved our movie, but you said
      you didn't want a sequel
      got my head up in the clouds
      now i cannot see through
      if you were perfection,
      how can i trust other people
      to take my hand and guide me
      past all of the shit we been through

      (beat.)

      got me so down im
      making lots of pillows
      taking heavy shots and smoking
      off a lot of rillos
      think my mind is gone, am i okay
      i cannot think so
      falling down from heaven hitting
      every branch like plinko

      5 votes
    36. Old Poems from a Summer

      Dans la vie intérieure, le temps tient lieu d'espace. (In the inner life, time takes the place of space.) Simone Weil, La Pesanteur et la Grâce (Gravity and Grace) Inside [the black hole's event...

      Dans la vie intérieure, le temps tient lieu d'espace.
      (In the inner life, time takes the place of space.)
      Simone Weil, La Pesanteur et la Grâce (Gravity and Grace)

      Inside [the black hole's event horizon]… [what used to be a spatial
      coordinate] is the time. … The singularity… is not a place in space; it
      is a moment in time.
      James B. Hartle, Gravity: An Introduction to Einstein's General Relativity


      In my old poems I saw
      the sentimental one
      scenting sighs,    seeing scars
      everywhere, twisting them
      into words, arranging words
      so they fit in a grid,
      regular,    repeating.

      Preoccupied, she wanted the answer
      to the only question: What had made her
      like this? An effect that sought the cause and
      nothing else. Her city caught in a verdant
      early summer day, light abounded; she
      felt time had been running out silently.

      How much has really changed ever since?

      I now have an answer, and more.
      She made me; cause, effect. Questions!
      How will I be? What will I be?
      What am I?

      I am a tiny bit of what she wasn't:
      the all-embracing space and time beyond
      her self, her fear of being forgotten,
      solitude unwitnessed, and pain futile.

      I am not just her descendant either.
      Holding her precious gift of exposed self,
      I too am exposed to what I am not,
      asking how much has changed, what I'm changing.


      This is a new one I wrote today.

      Edit: replaced one "the" with "an".

      6 votes
    37. crema.

      ive had this idea in the back of my head for awhile, roll with me. sad parties. so much emphasis on things being perfect, people being perfect, work being perfect, life being perfect. so many...

      ive had this idea in the back of my head for awhile, roll with me.

      sad parties.

      so much emphasis on things being perfect, people being perfect, work being perfect, life being perfect. so many people caught up in social media subconsciously at battle to live a filter-perfect lifestyle.

      sad parties.

      a bunch of people youre close to get together at a comfortable apartment, good food, lots of drinks, lots of drugs. everyones free to indulge as they wish. all the lights go off except for a fireplace or some low-impact nightlights by an easel, and theres just a stream of sad music in the background. no words spoken unless you directly enter a conversation with someone. no forced interaction. just lots of pillows, blankets, and vibes.

      really want one of these. might make it a regular thing once i head out west.

      anyways, back to the reason we're all here. more sad drunk poetry<3

      thank you for all those who leave the comments. i honestly wouldnt keep posting if it werent for you all giving me that little nudge of support. it means a lot.

      much love.

      bishop.


      metal must be the best flavor of ice cream.
      take a double scoop, hope i dont see the morning
      leaded kiss orgasm, baby send me out moaning
      dropped my puppet strings, guess im not worth controlling.
      metal must be the best flavor of ice cream.
      must be in a coma, two years been a bad dream.
      poor lost lamb caught up with a black sheep
      just another sad white kid, rest in peace Peep.

      maybe some lives werent meant for the living
      maybe some dreams were meant to go missing
      kinda miss the way you would scream like a banshee
      kinda miss the way you would threaten to leave me
      wanna go back to the days when you need me
      always liked how youd cut me deep, and then heal me
      if it makes you smile when i cry, then abuse me.
      really wouldnt mind if you came back to use me,

      cant feel good enough on the nicotine therapy
      oxygen coming through airily, barely
      slaps on my face were a heavenly remedy
      soft pink lace was a beautiful heresy.
      pain, drugs, suicidal tendencies, obscurity
      wanna fade to black, tell God roll the credit scene
      another funeral in the wake of our legacy
      metal must be the best flavor of ice cream

      (beat.)

      metal must be the best flavor of ice cream.
      take a double scoop, hope i dont see the morning
      leaded kiss orgasm, baby send me out moaning
      dropped my puppet strings, guess im not worth controlling.
      metal must be the best flavor of ice cream.
      must be in a coma, two years been a bad dream.
      poor lost lamb caught up with a black sheep
      knocking back four different drugs just to get sleep

      metal is the only thing i feel around me
      liquor by the half cup never stops pouring
      you held me down, now i feel like im falling
      up to the sky, sunshine in the mourning.

      4 votes
    38. Rose (a poem)

      With my left hand I embrace and repel. With my right hand I create and destroy. I stand before you, both hands free. We remember past hopes and joy. Listen to this moment, presence of silence....

      With my left hand I embrace and repel.
      With my right hand I create and destroy.
      I stand before you, both hands free.
      We remember past hopes and joy.

      Listen to this moment, presence of silence.
      Nothing divides and nothing draws us close.
      Attention is all we exchange,
      Attention in the shape of rose.

      I longed for witness. Before whom? No one.
      Is my heart pure? No. But she insisted.
      We give; and what are we but gifts?
      Gifts we forgot we'd accepted.

      To doubt is to attempt holding back time,
      Lifting time's illusion by illusion.
      I may trust, knowing that I trust.
      At times we feel with precision.

      We part our ways like rose petals in wind.
      We will return when time again is still,
      For no more delight but to see,
      With no more longing to fulfil.

      12 votes
    39. It reigns

      It rains It pours It is a mile tall and never speaks Just carries our water on leaden feet Blinking powerlight moon-sun eyes Peer blindly, feet step on millennial pits From here to the forbidden...

      It rains
      It pours
      It is a mile tall and never speaks
      Just carries our water on leaden feet
      Blinking powerlight moon-sun eyes
      Peer blindly, feet step on millennial pits
      From here to the forbidden lake, and back

      It washes down
      It pulls down
      It is a god of rust and roaring waterfalls
      Just and merciful, we were told
      As old as us, or ours as old as it
      Sinners earn places in its footsteps
      Its feet red with rust so blest

      It is bitter
      It is foul
      It is what it is, mark my word: a machine
      Just! just! juddering footsteps rappelling ropes
      Past red veils we see the flesh of god
      Trace copyright prayers on a boxed brain
      My hands on the conduit --- behold your new god!

      My wrath rains
      My anger pours
      It is the vessel of my cunning, this old god
      Just! just! dance new steps on old enemies
      Kicked castles and soldier ants, crawling in
      Head homunculus locked in the iron skull
      Feet heavy, leads done, dead god gone dry.


      Inspirations: the god warrior in Nausica of the Valley of the Wind, Unicron at the end of the G1 Transformers comic (poor old Scorponok*), rereading Girl Genius, casual flipping through Attack on Titan, awareness that there's some movie called the Wicker Man, and realization that I should go back to the classics and watch all of Mobile Suit Gundam and Zeta Gundam; and "Naught but the Leg remaining to disclose the site of this forgotten Babylon".

      *: Well, real Transformers poetry would end with "It is over --- finished!"

      8 votes
    40. miele.

      for those keeping track, this title's in italian, not afrikaans. normally don't "summer" kind of stuff, but as always, i just write what's on my mind once the liquor hits. hope you all enjoy.<3...

      for those keeping track, this title's in italian, not afrikaans.

      normally don't "summer" kind of stuff, but as always, i just write what's on my mind once the liquor hits.

      hope you all enjoy.<3

      much love

      bishop


      sometimes I need a bubble bath.
      ginger ale, vodka splash
      couple friends, a couple grams
      electronic cigarettes.
      bath bomb with the glitter in
      free pass to commit a sin
      babygirl let's dive in.
      bet we won't even remember it.

      standing at the precipice
      not a lot of trust to give
      broken down, a sad kid
      you're steady in the madness
      babygirl I feel it happening
      tension slipping kinda rapid
      cold beers and a hot kiss
      forbidden peach, like genesis

      i write music
      to sin to.
      baby let me
      sing with you
      sigh the notes, we
      can sing tunes
      you're the nectar
      the gods knew
      i write music
      to sin to.
      baby let me
      sing with you
      sigh the notes, we
      can sing tunes
      you're the nectar
      the gods knew

      (beat.)

      nicotine and a lotta weed
      open up a new side of me
      one that wanna see you smiling
      fuck what your other man think
      two friends in a summer fling
      you bite your lip when you kiss me
      's why you always invite me,
      when you're home and feel lonely.

      Want my music to go hard,
      Sing for my friends in the dark,
      Get to drunk to remember,
      The bullshit feeling sad part

      sometimes I need a bubble bath.
      ginger ale, vodka splash
      couple friends, a couple grams
      electronic cigarettes.
      bath bomb with the glitter in
      free pass to commit a sin
      babygirl let's dive in.
      bet we won't even remember it.

      3 votes
    41. traan.

      fuck anybody who says my shit isn't cultured. sorry if my language isn't okay on the site. v drunk at the moment here it goes anyway enjoy. or don't i guess, either way. j'en veux plus exister...

      fuck anybody who says my shit isn't cultured.

      sorry if my language isn't okay on the site.

      v drunk at the moment

      here it goes anyway

      enjoy.

      or don't i guess,

      either way.


      j'en veux plus
      exister
      içi.

      c'est impossible
      à dormir
      depuis

      février quand
      t'étais
      parti

      la bouteille
      à remplacé
      therapie

      Tu m'as
      donné pas de
      sympathie

      c'est parce'que
      toi que je
      ecris

      tous les chansons
      qui parle'd
      mourir

      ouais c'est
      vrai q'je rêve
      d'suicide

      Je plonge
      dans l'alcool
      comme piscine

      Daily still
      wonder if
      you miss me

      Daddy still
      gonna miss
      his baby

      I really miss
      the way you'd
      reassure me

      comme

      "Oauis, papa
      c'est que tout va-t-
      allez bien

      Non, monsieur,
      tu ne mourras pas
      cette semaine.

      Je vais, faire
      sûr que je prends
      soin de toi

      I will love you,
      cross my heart and
      swear to God. "

      "Oauis, papa
      c'est que tout va-t-
      allez bien

      Non, monsieur,
      tu ne mourras pas
      cette semaine.

      Je vais, faire
      sûr que je prends
      soin de toi

      I will love you,
      cross my heart and
      swear to God. "

      J'en veux plus
      exister
      sans toi

      Je m'ai demandé
      chaque nuit
      pourquoi?

      Tu m'as laiseé
      completement
      pantois

      Je'm sens
      maintenant
      trop inadéquat

      Would you like me
      better if I had
      some photoshop

      Would you come to
      visit if my breathing
      ever stopped

      Better yet, I
      wonder if I'd rather
      have you not

      I just wish I had
      some truth before
      I fade to black

      ouais, monsieur.

      tu ne mourras pas
      cette semaine

      6 votes
    42. koeël.

      been sitting on two of these most of the day, might be a little messy. i feel like it's a little stale since i left it waiting, and i'm significantly more sober than when i usually write. as...

      been sitting on two of these most of the day, might be a little messy.

      i feel like it's a little stale since i left it waiting, and i'm significantly more sober than when i usually write.

      as always, comments welcome. or ignore this entirely if you're not feeling it<3

      bless.

      bishop


      also this one gets somewhat graphic, gonna start leaving these trigger warnings up top - drugs, alcohol, suicide, covers it i think, let me know if i should add anything else


      been smoking and drinking
      just so i can cope
      gave her the ring
      she put me on the ropes
      new girl show up but
      i don't got no hope
      my heart is still sinking
      i'm trying to float like

      Gretel, baby, where did you go?
      no crumbs left I can throw
      Hansel in the forest alone
      put me out of house and my home
      hands full of green and some blow
      no drinks left but the coke
      she's laughing now - am I the joke?
      turned my heartthrob into a stroke -

      your bedside's left wide
      open to the moonlight
      head high, red eye
      stranded on the roadside
      you kissed, i cried,
      while i watched papaw die
      No sleep, four nights
      you told me it's alright
      helped me keep my head high
      helped me say my goodbyes
      then you hit me blindside
      didn't get a goodbye

      peace, bye, next flight,
      right into his arms like
      you've been biding time,
      waiting for the day to strike me

      down.

      down.

      down.

      Left me tied strapped to the bed
      Headphones looping what you said
      Promises we could stay friends.
      Cool ones pour down my head
      I know the river Styx runs red
      Little siren told me "Baby, dive in"
      Closed eyes, woke up dead.
      Didn't know God's a raven.

      Now you got your Raybans
      and your black Timbs
      Got your new Amex,
      one in the black print
      Hope it was worth it
      on your conscience
      that you lied through your teeth
      and he fucking lost it

      costless

      Must be nice right?
      If it's not on the bill
      it don't have a price
      Fuck being nice,
      Fuck doing what's right,
      What's another sad white
      boy taking his life?

      Masochistic statistic
      when his legs kick
      Fuck vacation,
      Miami,
      Fuck a new chick
      Cool one rain straight
      to the forehead
      Gorgeous.
      One less problem
      to deal with. Lord, yes.

      Gretel, baby, where did you go?
      no crumbs left I can throw
      Hansel in the forest alone
      put me out of house and my home
      hands full of green and some blow
      no drinks left but the coke
      she's laughing now - am I the joke?
      turned my heartthrob into a stroke -

      4 votes
    43. dagga.

      last one for today, feel like i've been littering all over tildes and i dont want to be the only thing people see on the homepage. i normally only do these like once a week, but i kept finding...

      last one for today, feel like i've been littering all over tildes and i dont want to be the only thing people see on the homepage.

      i normally only do these like once a week, but i kept finding words that work today.

      sorry for the clutter,

      cheers.


      bliky at the forehead
      hit the floor dead.
      i give you advice
      so that i feel important
      tell me to stay im
      a little distorted
      cross-faded vision
      is going contorted

      take off my seatbelt
      and i start to floor it
      fuck all your comments
      i know its abhorrent
      i only go out in the
      night when it's dormant
      in hopes that I'll see
      a brick wall and ignore it

      gorgeous.

      tell me, do you cry or get lonely?
      Do you ever feel soulless?
      Do you ever stop and reminisce?
      Baby I want to feel free.
      Free.

      (beat.)

      dagga in die bak - smoke
      til the morning
      i just want you back
      still hear you moaning
      hard to look back,
      know that you happened
      hard to look back,
      see what we had then
      knife hits the floor, saying
      what the fuck man
      you're a grown man how
      do you function
      why do you do this
      you're above this
      Cus I don't know what's real
      Baby I want to feel free

      Free

      Free

      Free

      bliky at the forehead
      hit the floor dead.
      i give you advice
      so that i feel important
      tell me to stay im
      a little distorted
      cross-faded vision
      is going contorted

      take off my seatbelt
      and i start to floor it
      fuck all your comments
      i know its abhorrent
      i only go out in the
      night when it's dormant
      in hopes that I'll see
      a brick wall and ignore it
      it's gorgeous.

      6 votes
    44. stoep.

      nevermind. my stoep is warm. my stoep is warm. can't keep my calm it should probably raise alarms if my stoep is warm my stoep is warm that there's a problem and I dont know how to stop it fucked...

      nevermind.


      my stoep is warm.
      my stoep is warm.
      can't keep my calm
      it should probably raise alarms if
      my stoep is warm
      my stoep is warm
      that there's a problem
      and I dont know how to stop it

      fucked up his arm
      with bleeding scars
      that kid's an addict he
      has no idea how to quit
      Insha'allah
      One day he'll stop
      If he ever dulls the edges of
      the shards of broken promises

      'llahu-allah
      'llahu-allah
      That a broken-legged lamb
      can still hobble into Providence
      i hear the caw
      i hear the caw
      woke up in a sweat and
      saw a raven at my doorstep

      (beat.)

      messed up inside
      messed up inside
      only when he's fucked up
      does he really feel alive
      the pain you feel
      the pain you feel
      is the happiness you had before
      So pay it up boy, that's the price.

      my stoep is warm.
      my stoep is warm.
      can't keep my calm
      it should probably raise alarms if
      my stoep is warm
      my stoep is warm
      that there's a problem
      and I dont know how to stop it

      fucked up his arm
      with bleeding scars
      that kid's an addict he
      has no idea how to quit
      Insha'allah
      One day he'll stop
      If he ever dulls the edges of
      the shards of broken promises

      the stoa's hot
      the stoa's hot
      how you gonna run from
      a problem that's inside your head

      it's going dark,
      it's going dark
      beautiful curse if you
      find that you woke up again

      5 votes
    45. kraai.

      hi there. before you read this, it's another one of my shitty sad poem/lyrics doohickeys. i generally just post these up here as a way to vent, clear my head when i cant sleep. if you're alright...

      hi there.

      before you read this, it's another one of my shitty sad poem/lyrics doohickeys.

      i generally just post these up here as a way to vent, clear my head when i cant sleep.

      if you're alright with sad stuff, feel free to read along. if not, that's cool too. just wanted to give a heads up in case there's stuff on your mind you're trying not to think about.

      anyways,

      thanks for stopping by,

      bishop.


      i just want to sip
      four bottles of wine
      fall asleep in the bath
      pray to god that i die
      summer's on hold
      only winter in the night
      i only felt right
      when i was by your side

      been in my head so
      long that i lost my mind.
      running little low on
      words, because you never write

      cant get to sleep until 4am
      nothing feels home like an angry bed
      cant find a shoulder to lay my head,
      missing warm lips and your icy legs.

      trying real hard not to fuck with meds.
      goddamn hard not to fuck with meds.
      can't get the picture out of my head
      of you in my bed so i guess instead

      i just want to sip
      four bottles of wine
      fall asleep in the bath
      pray to god that i die
      summer's on hold
      only winter in the night
      i only felt right
      when i was by your side
      hard to want to try if you
      don't want to be alive
      only crashing hard now
      because you made me feel high
      in a week you were gone,
      couldn't get a kiss bye
      bled your name out of my arm
      once upon a midnight

      can't stop looking at
      your shadow on my bedside
      all the worst demons
      are the ones we have inside
      splashing turned to drowning in
      the ocean of her blue eyes
      x on the map,
      wherefore does her love lie
      Nyctophobic and you
      took my dog and my flashlight
      Guess I didn't know that
      certain spiders can spin lies
      diamonds in midnight
      can try, but still won't shine
      cant turn it down, honey,
      do you hear a loud cry?

      (

      beat. sip some tea.

      )

      if the whole world's upside
      down, can you stand upright?
      guess this is the toll for
      the road less traveled by
      caught in the valley of the
      dark - ride, baby, ride
      make me feel high and
      you can hurt me until i die

      i just want to sip
      four bottles of wine
      fall asleep in the bath
      pray to god that i die
      summer's on hold
      only winter in the night
      i only felt right
      when i was by your side
      hard to want to try if you
      don't want to be alive
      only crashing hard now
      because you made me feel high
      in a week you were gone,
      couldn't get a kiss bye
      never heard that sound before,
      do you hear a loud cry?

      10 votes
    46. Winter poem

      A little pretext. I wrote this poem in november 2017, and I slightly improved it today. I enjoy creating stories and poems are a way that I did not try much before. I don't know much about it,...

      A little pretext. I wrote this poem in november 2017, and I slightly improved it today. I enjoy creating stories and poems are a way that I did not try much before. I don't know much about it, except the few things I learned in school and i can't remember most of it. Also english is my second language and there might be some words that don't fit in.
      The changes in lines and rythm are intended to match the story.
      If this does not meet the high-quality content and discussion and therefore doesn't fit in with ~, let me know and I will remove it.

      To stop my rambling: Feel free to leave criticism. I plan to make poetry my hobby so any tips, comments, feedback and thoughts are appreciated.

      Somewhere,
      deep in the wild
      Layed there,
      Cold a little child.
      
      It wasn't very long ago,
      The rotten did not show,
      All consuming deafening silence,
      Pierced only by crows crying violent.
      
      What happened here?
      She ran from fear.
      To escape the grasp,
      Of the ones she hold dear.
      
      One soul has passed before her,
      Taking with his life,
      The only thing she ever strived
      Her mother, father and her brother
      Two of these caused the disaster.
      
      It began with a fight,
      In a cold winter night,
      Snow falling lightly,
      And the ice growing wildly.
      
      Suddenly the moment
      when all seemed to fly
      Death was potent
      Coming in the blink of an eye.
      
      Crushed by the car's roof,
      Not needing any more proof.
      The little boy left,
      She cried over his death
      
      Sad things passed
      and bad will follow.
      To escape the sorrow
      Two chose their paths
      
      Alcohol in mornings and nights,
      Followed by overbearing fights,
      Inbetween this shit
      Was one little kid
      
      Treated like air,
      It was just not fair
      Her family's break,
      Was the last thing she could take
      
      She ran into the woods,
      Only on foot.
      Soon she lost her trail
      And soon after she wailed.
      
      In her last thoughts
      she met her god.
      Looked him deep in the eye
      And pierced him with a knive
      
      Somewhere,
      deep in the wild
      Layed there,
      Cold a little child.
      
      

      Edit: Formatting mistakes

      17 votes