As per title. Furthermore: how do you feel about that?

I just realised I haven't told my father I've moved to another city 500 miles away, and in fact, haven't spoken with him for a few months now. This is the case for me because I never really respected him for various life choices he made, as well as being a Jehovah's Witness (he isn't an exclusionary man however, and sometimes I feel like he uses religion as a way to escape how miserable his life otherwise is). My mother, who I love very much, thankfully divorced him 15 years ago.

On the whole, I know my father loves me, but yet I don't feel the reverse. This at times, like now, fills me with guilt because—despite having perfectly valid reasons to not be close to him—fundamentally he is my biological parent and there is always going to be that connection. I don't know how to handle that, even though I'm now nearly 24.

Often at times, like now, it makes me feel kind of sad. And it's often compounded by other various bits of life that make me feel down too.

Does anyone else have similar experiences? How do you deal/have you dealt with this?

In the field of psychology, the Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which people of low ability have illusory superiority and mistakenly assess their cognitive ability as greater than it is. The cognitive bias of illusory superiority comes from the inability of low-ability people to recognize their lack of ability. Without the self-awareness of metacognition, low-ability people cannot objectively evaluate their competence or incompetence. (Wikipedia)

Some of my fellow programmers seem to think the world turns around their knowledge as if there was no valid reasoning whatsoever beyond math and computer science. They seem to think logic (a tool with multiple uses which exists since at least 380 BC) is merely an attribute of computer science. It's not uncommon for them to think they can understand the intricacies of every phenomenon under the sun.

I have to control myself to avoid countering each of their flawed arguments. To my own detriment, I'm not always able to do so. I feel surrounded by arrogance and cognitive bias, and have to silence my better judgment in order to avoid constant conflict.

To be clear, I'm not looking for advice, as I already know the "solution", which is no solution. You can't use reason to fight something that is not motivated by reason. I'm posting to know your stories and maybe find some solace in the knowledge that I'm not alone.

Have you ever had to deal directly with people who grossly inflate their own competence, possibly stretching it to an unrelated field? if so, what's your story?

I'm sitting here, not being able to sleep and watching every single John Mayer music video ever made, finding myself a little stuck.

I've got good friends, I've got a free environment to do whatever I want to do, and I've got enough stuff around me to keep me alive. Somehow, this isn't what I hoped for.

Ever since I was a kid, I always dreamed of this moment. I'm on my own. I've got my axe, and I'm ready for battle, but, I can't swing this thing, man. I don't have enough motivation, something I've been struggling with since I was born. I'm a chronic procrastinator, even when it's about something I actually want to. I want to sit down, write music, and make people smile. I want to do all these things, but I can't find enough willpower to do it. Maybe it's just my current emotional state holding me back. I miss the connection I used to have with someone that put me at my absolute peak in life.

It's so unbelievably unfair to me that someone that seemed to help me so much and bring me up can just walk out on me like that with no explanation. She made me a better person when she was around, and a worse person when she's not. I don't understand why I still think about it every single day. I guess this is more of a rant / self help post, but I do pose one question:

How do I get rid of the constant thought of someone? She's connected to everything I do in life and I really gotta fucking stop. Is there something I'm missing when it comes to getting over someone? Do I chase her? I've tried before, but it ended worse the second time around.

Anyone have similar experiences? I'm sure there are some sad wrecks out there tonight. Come and share your story about the best person you've ever met that you'll never meet again.

So I'm doing my GED at the moment and I'm in the same couple of classes this gal. It's only 3 months into the semester and we won't be in the same classes next semester anyway. Nevertheless, despite it only being 3 months we quickly became acquainted and within the last month or so we've become friends. Last week however, her boyfriend broke up with her and today he kicked her out of his apartment - so she's homeless. And in order to not live on the damn street she's going back to Norway (she's only been here in Denmark for a bit over a year) to live with her family until she can find somewhere to live here - she still has another semester to go until she's done with school here, so it need only be temporary.

She's leaving tonight and so I asked if she wanted to meet after school today. We did and talked for a couple of hours at a cafe - and it was pretty nice despite her situation being total shit. I'm a really empathetic person in general and I feel all sorts of compassion for her. Simultaneously, despite barely even knowing her (today was the first time we actually hung out, come to think of it), I am gonna miss her like crazy... This is mostly about her because of how much it sucks for her and how bad I feel for her, but I can't help but feel like shit too even though I barely even know her! I can't tell if I have a crush on her or if I just like her as a friend, but who cares anyways - she's gone now and I might not see her again...

Just had to get this off my chest I guess. I just wish so bad that she didn't have to leave - that I could've gotten to know her more and spent more time with her.

I'm also trying to follow some advice from a psychologist, because I have borderline personality disorder and basically it means I feel feelings a lot more intensely than the average person. I also haven't been a very social person historically speaking so I find it difficult to navigate relationships and situations like this. So the advice I'm trying to follow is particularly this bit: Instead of ‘I love you with the passion of a thousand fiery suns’ it might be nice to do a small gesture. But it's difficult to not write her on messenger and just say something like "I'm gonna miss you :(" - I know it's stupid to do that and she doesn't feel the same way I do because it's only been like 1 month of actual friendship, but it's genuinely how I feel.

Wasn't sure if this belongs in ~life or here, so I figured I'd just go with this one. Just had to get this off my chest so that maybe I'll not be dumb and write her something that the overly attached girlfriend meme could have written. I used to be super clingy and it's driven people away in the past so yeah. Anyway, thanks for caring if you read this whole post :)

Mine would definitely have to be my sister in law, who I live with. I daily wake up to headaches from her yelling, once a week she threatens to leave with my brothers children for irrational reasons, and she claims to be a "prisoner in the house" when she can literally leave at any time and nobody will care.

Example: Today I asked my brothers if they wanted me to fire up my hookah. She came out yelling about smoking weed around her kids and then left out front to vent to someone loudly on the phone for half an hour. There was no weed, the hookah was in a different room, and they smoke cigarettes around their kid all the time.

Probably I'm not alone in such situation when a good person you know believes in something really harmless but still ridiculous in the depth of your mind.

For example, that astrological sign seriously defines compatibility of people, or WTC was demolished intentionally in the US, or GMO is bad because in some experiment rats reportedly stopped reproducing and therefore someone wants to shrink certain human populations by popularizing GMO.

None of such beliefs actually do something directly harmful but sometimes just the fact people you know believe that is almost disgusting. Any proof would be discarded as an "official", biased one, profitable for those who have money and power.

What should be done in such a situation? What would you do if your otherwise perfect friend seriously considered Earth flat?

In all of the recent talk about incels, gender differentials in home tasks, and domestic violence, there's been little discussion about what makes a good relationship - sexual, psychological, experiential or other compatibilities. There's a great deal of "Psychology Today" material on what makes for successful relationships, but it seems facile and the product of research on young WEIRD participants.

So, dear Tilders, if you have or have had a partner(s) you've been genuinely happy and satisfied with, and felt like your relationship was healthy, please discuss what made you so...

I've gone through heart break a lot and I just recently met someone that I really like. We haven't even been hanging out for 2 weeks and we both really feel strongly about each other already. Honestly it's pretty scary becoming this vulnerable to another person. My last gf I didn't feel this way with like when it was over I was like meh but this gf is like... I don't know if I want it to end. Not for now at least.

Sorry I'm just sorta typing my thoughts out etc etc if anyone has any input feel free to comment.

I'll be moving out of state in Nov so the longest it will probably last is until then because I'm not sure if I want to do long distance. Like, I just had a buddy come home to a gf that was sleeping with another dude IN THIER HOUSE soooo I just don't want anything like that to happen to me but I also know when it comes to leave I might not be willing to break it off. Plus, I think she already wants to last longer than November but she hasn't explicitly said so.

Idk life and stuff and bullshit and yea... anyone out there feel me?

Right now, the number one post on my personal Reddit feed is this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9bryj8/straight_guys_of_reddit_whats_the_most_intimate/

Reading through this made me feel quite a few different emotions, but I would say that my biggest takeaway is disappointment.

I'm pretty young, being in my late twenties, but I know that the largest Reddit demographic is younger than me. And it terrifies me to see that people who are probably less than 15 years younger than me appear to be far more stricken by toxic masculinity than I was when I was their age. Right now the top response is a story about someone scratching his friend's back during a military deployment. He later mentions that his comrades gave him a hard time for it. Is the idea of machismo so fragile that we cannot take simple actions - even to provide relief to a friend?

I'll be the first to admit that a single AskReddit thread is not going to be an accurate representation of the levels of intimacy men actually give each other. But the simple fact that it's full of jokes, to me, makes it appear that they are using humor as a defense mechanism.

The fact that young men have so many barriers preventing them from building bonds with other men in a society often partitioned by gender deeply concerns me. I worry that this is the beginning of a societal issue in the same vein as racism was for our parents and grandparents and will only cause more problems as we age and gain political sway.

I'm bringing this up here because I would like some perspective on this. I've always been very sympathetic to other people, and my views as a gay man are obviously going to be different from straight men. Where is this toxicity coming from? Is there a way we can stop it, or is it already ingrained in the collective psyche?

Summary

The Belfast Court of Appeal ruled two months ago that weddings in Northern Ireland performed by Humanist celebrants must be deemed legal. These weddings are now starting to be performed.

The article contains comments by various people, including two couples about to be married. It also has some background about legality of Humanist wedding ceremonies in other parts of Great Britain.

Extract

In June, the Belfast Court of Appeal ruled that humanist marriages must be legally recognised in Northern Ireland. This weekend, the first two legal marriages to follow that ruling will occur.

Link

https://humanism.org.uk/2018/08/22/first-legal-humanist-marriages-in-northern-ireland-since-court-ruling-to-occur-this-weekend/

Hey everyone. I'm a Brazilian polyamorous bisexual man, in a loving relationship with a polyamorous bisexual woman.

I'm uncertain if polyamory is usually covered by LGBT groups, but I think it's the closest here in tildes!
I just wanted to see if there are more poly people around here, get the ball rolling about the subject in this forum and all.

So, some questions to make some conversation happen:

Are you poly?

What does your family/friends think about it?

Are you in a relationship right now? Is that relationship open/poly? Tell us about your polycule, gush about your partner(s) a bit ;)

If you're not poly, what do you know and what do you think about polyamory?

As the title says I got into my first relationship this past week (Im 22; male) and boy do I feel happy. Now I gotta be the best me I can be, any relationship tips for a dude? (I'll take advice from all genders).

Thank you!

1 week later edit: Thank you to everyone who offered advice based on their experience. I got a taste of different stories however the tl;dr seems to be:

• be honest, even if the truth is ugly
• constant open communication
• stay true to yourself
• dont rush things; let things happen naturally
• if things don't turn out well; then thats just life

“My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

You say when I go back you will suck me off and you want me to lick your cunt, you little depraved blackguard. I hope you will surprise me some time when I am asleep dressed, steal over to me with a whore’s glow in your slumberous eyes, gently undo button after button in the fly of my trousers and gently take out your lover’s fat mickey, lap it up in your moist mouth and suck away at it till it gets fatter and stiffer and comes off in your mouth. Sometimes too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling’s cunt. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep. Then I will lick up faster and faster like a ravenous dog until your cunt is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly.

Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little fuckbird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier.”

― James Joyce, Selected Letters of James Joyce

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/504662-my-sweet-little-whorish-nora-i-did-as-you-told