On the original book nomination thread, a couple of people nominated nonfiction. If we read nonfiction, I want to have a separate voting thread for that category so that everyone can submit books. However, should we? This thread is a chance to vote no for nonfiction and if voting yes to suggest a frequency such as 1 in 3 books, 1 in four books, 1 in six books etc.

If voting yes, please suggest a rate to read nonfiction books in proportion to fiction ones.

Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Another strong female lead with Sigourney Weaver in Aliens from 1986.

IMDb
Letterboxd
Wikipedia

Besides any thoughts on this movie, what did you think of Sigourney Weaver s performance in this? How do you rank compared to the rest of movies in the Alien-franchise?

The rest of the schedule for April is:

• 29th: Fargo

There have been a number of threads recently that have touched on this topic recently, and I thought the conversation deserved its own place.

My default worldview for the past decade+ has been something best characterized as naturalistic or materialist (the totality of reality can be explained by material and its interactions.) I've had a few things challenge this view recently, namely the "Hard Problem of Consciousness." I'll post my own comment about what moved me from hard materialist to agnostic on materialism, but I encourage you to post your own reasoning in your comment!

I have a couple of old Reddit accounts I’d like to delete as fully as possible. However one of them dates back to my teenage years and it’s some of the only writings I have from that time. Any recommendations on good simple ways to scrape all the comments off of it and save them? Then what’s the best way to completely erase a Reddit footprint these days?

Looking for as simple a solution as possible, I’m not tech illiterate by any means but it’s also not a real strong suit for me.

Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

I have managed to install and configure something called NextDNS on both of my devices and most browsers, even though the documentation seems to be made with more tech-savvy people in mind. So far so good. I turned on all the available blocklists, but a lot of strange looking (to me) traffic is still getting through. I'm assuming some of it is benign, but how do I evaluate which addresses I should block or not? I'll list some examples below.

init.ess.apple.com
init-p01md.apple.com
bag.itunes.apple.com
gsp-ssl.ls.apple.com
gspe35-ssl.ls.apple.com
pki-goog.l.google.com
For these, the service offers the following information: 'Provides advertising or advertising-related services such as data collection, behavioral analysis or retargeting.' Sounds like something I wouldn't want to enable. When it comes to the iTunes one, I don't use iTunes and don't even have it installed (don't ask how I managed to get rid of it - it took several days worth of trial and error..). One of these, pki-goog.l.google.com is listed as 'dangerously prevalent (tracks 21.23% of web traffic)'.

Then again, the same general description is sometimes given to addresses that seem legit, such as:
time.apple.com
weather-data.apple.com

Some are indecipherable to me and don't come with any sort of description:
fp2e7a.wpc.phicdn.net
init.ess.g.aaplimg.com
get-bx.g.aaplimg.com
ocsp2.g.aaplimg.com
ocsp.pki.goog

Some descriptions are kind of vague:
a2047.dscapi9.akamai.net
apis.apple.map.fastly.net
'Content delivery network that delivers resources for different site utilities and usually for many different customers.'

Some seem to be doing tasks that are definitely wanted:
ocsp.digicert.com
'Digicert Trust Seal - Includes tag managers, privacy notices, and technologies that are critical to the functionality of a website.'

Then there's an Amazon Web Service, go-updater-1830831421.us-west-2.elb.amazonaws.com, listed as very prevalent (tracks 5.5% of web traffic) that has been contacting my phone even though I haven't done any shopping or product related searches. What is this and should I block it?

And so on and so on. Is there any logic to these that I can follow? I tried google searching some to no avail.

The Cannes Film Festival is in May and I thought we should find four movies related to Cannes to watch in May. Maybe a bit of a risk since it isn't exactly full of well known mainstream movies, but I promise there is more to choose from than French arthouse movies. The criteria is simple, the movie must have been presented at the Cannes Film Festival at some point.

On the official website you can browse through all movies that has been in competition over the years. To narrow it down there is a list of all the Palme d’Or winners or more broadly every movie that have won any award at Cannes

Rules

• Have been in the official program on the Cannes Film Festival in any year
• Not one we have done before
• Only one nomination per user
• Please only nominate if you intent to participate
• Upvote the post(s) with a nomination you would like to be picked for discussion next month
• Please state the title of the movie clearly on the first line, and add any additional general comments in the next paragraph to keep voting simple

In case of ties in the number of votes, random.org will decide. Voting closes Sunday.

Hey all! I'm trans masc, and this means my body isn't exactly at the top of the bell curve for men's fashion. I'm looking to dress more masculinely, especially as I recently had top surgery. I'm having trouble finding stuff that fits and I find constantly trying on clothes that don't fit pretty disheartening. I was hoping I could get some advice here!

I'd like to increase the number of jeans I own, but unfortunately I've got proportions that are hard to accommodate. I'm 5'4" and ~100kg, so this already necessitates looking outside the normal sizes, but I also have trouble where jeans that should fit around my waist won't fit over my hips/butt. This means that either I struggle to get jeans on, or I get jeans that are falling down to my ass even with a belt. Women's jeans are presumably engineered to avoid this problem since this is a normal proportion for women, but I would prefer to wear men's jeans for the thicker material, better pockets, and more masculine look. The only jeans I have currently that even approximately fit are some Levi's I bought when visiting my parents back in the States, but I live in Germany and those are expensive to get here, so I'm hoping for advice more generally on how to find suitable men's jeans or even specific recommendations for brands that are more accessible here in Europe.

Another problem I've had is in finding suitable coats and jackets due to my narrow shoulders. There are tons of men's jackets and coats that I'd love to add to my repertoire, but shoulders are nigh-impossible to even get tailored and there are rarely multiple options on that front, especially as someone with a gut. But there are cis men with narrow shoulders too so I wonder if there's existing advice out there on how to shop for coats as a fat guy with narrow shoulders.

Added the qualifier to the title as web3 understandably earns a lot of eyerolls haha. At the same time, a lot of web3 focused places seem to have a specific mindset about what "should" be done so I wanted to ask here.

I worked in the space at startup (ironically making web2 services to assist in web3 so I’m still an extreme novice). But my time there was a constant push / pull between convention and money and innovation and the unknown. The company I was at would try to appeal to big companies in hopes of finding a product market fit, who looked to us for guidance on what to do in this new space where they hoped to make money. Trend after trend would pass and it would be entertained whether we’d jump on it because product market fit.

The most desirable companies were household names with non-web3 userbases because they meant unprecedented reach. But to make web3 approachable to them, you’d have to define a UX that didn’t exist and would be pulled in a tug of war between two forces. The first mindset optimises for the purest idea of giving the user power— UXs that were obvious about the concepts of transactions and transferrable assets. The other wanted to replicate web2 UXs in web3, to the degree that a user gives temporary control of their wallet to a developer so the developer performs transactions as them.

Then, there is the data and pseudonymity piece. Companies have been taught that data is valuable, and one of the values of a blockchain is an identity that exists outside of any one company. But if all of your assets are on a blockchain— either under your public key or perhaps under a few that might transfer assets only between each other— then your identity can be known (not so private) and also cannot be monopolized and sold (because your data is public).

In the background, as this all happens, is the decentralization argument. At the end of the day, my company used EVM nodes operated by another company (which themselves might be wrappers around something offered by AWS). What is meaningful decentralization alongside specialization of labor? What is decentralization in a world that has billionaires and enormous companies who has the means to buy resources and set up tons of nodes?

Being out of the space now, I do think a decentralized database with immutable scripts, user-managed transferrable assets, and transferrable identity has enormous value. But recently I’ve been wondering how much of that can be accomplished in the private sector. In my time there it felt like the startup needs (enterprise customers, increased ARR) constantly compromised the will for innovation efforts.

This is a question I eventually ask about every social media site I use(d). I like Tildes, and the discussions here are much more constructive than any other place I've seen, however I've seen it to be true even here. When one doesn't curate their feed, and use the default home page, the negative topics seems to dominate. I'm talking about the topics that talk about problems and what's wrong with something, often with titles implying the awfulness or emergency of such a problem. I think I don't need to elaborate on how this is much more prevalent and extreme on other sites. But nevertheless, it's a recurring pattern even here.

I know the argument that goes that humans are problem-fixing machines, and that there are psychological incentives to focus on problems. However, this seems overly reductive and lacking in explanatory power to me. Outside of internet, this is not a phenomenon I've experienced with people, unless they were mentally going through something very rough. Otherwise, people generally seem to talk about neutral or positive issues. And even while talking about negative issues, the tone often isn't grim, and doesn't leave a depressive aftertaste.

Even on the internet, in smaller spaces and more closed spaces, like chatting servers, this doesn't seem to hold true. Sure, there are politically-oriented, and therefore problem-oriented spaces even there, but most spaces don't seem to be that way. Back when I used Facebook too, while the posts were vain, most of my friends and acquaintances were just interested in sharing and commenting on social lives.

So I think this is a problem that is more endemic to "open" social media sites, with easily accessible and open-to-public spaces, rather than applying to the whole humanity or even every internet space. Its one of my biggest head scratchers about social media sites. So far I couldn't find a satisfactory explanation in the literature either. Doesn't mean there isn't, but I haven't stumbled upon such.

So, I'm interested in your opinions: Why do negative topics dominate on open social media sites, even here, unless curated against? Why is this such a strong recurring pattern for sites structured like this, while it's not in other online and physical spaces and interections I mentioned?

I'm working on a new boss fight for a 5-person level 8 party of fairly new people. I wanted to give them something completely different, so I figured a fight on a small 20x20 circular rooftop with a stealthy djinn might be fun. I'd love to hear thoughts on how to make this a good time. My main idea is to force the party to figure out creative ways to find the djinn, since they don't have any way to see invisible creatures in their normal set of abilities. Things like throwing sand in the air, or holding ropes between each other to detect the silent wind motion as he moves around. Stuff that is more flavorful than a normal straight fight.

I'll also be throwing players off the roof, forcing them to make agility saves to grab hold of ropes that are on the edge of the building, then strength checks to pull themselves back up. Have some moderate injuries occur if they roll badly. What suggestions would you have for me to make this a fun fight?

Izel, Guardian Djinn

Large Elemental (Air), Lawful Neutral

---

• Armor Class 17 (natural armor)
• Hit Points 152 (16d10 + 64)
• Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft.

---

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
18 (+4)	22 (+6)	18 (+4)	16 (+3)	20 (+5)	18 (+4)

---

• Saving Throws Dex +10, Con +8, Wis +9, Cha +8
• Skills Insight +9, Perception +9, Stealth +10
• Damage Resistances lightning, thunder; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
• Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion
• Senses truesight 60 ft., passive Perception 19
• Languages Auran, Common
• Challenge 12 (8,400 XP)

---

Elemental Demise. If the djinni dies, its body disintegrates into a warm breeze, leaving behind only equipment the djinni was wearing or carrying.

Innate Spellcasting. The djinni's innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 16, +8 to hit with spell attacks). It can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:



At will:

Mage Armor: You touch a willing creature who isn’t wearing armor, and a protective magical force surrounds it until the spell ends. The target’s base AC becomes 13 + its Dexterity modifier. The spell ends if the target dons armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action.

Greater Invisibility: (Concentration) You or a creature you touch becomes invisible until the spell ends. Anything the target is wearing or carrying is invisible as long as it is on the target’s person. The target can attack or cast spells without becoming visible.

3/day each:
> Wind Wall: Requires concentration. You create a wall of strong wind on the ground at a point you can see within range. The wall is up to 50 feet long, 15 feet high, and 1 foot thick, or a ringed wall up to 20 feet in diameter, 15 feet high, and 1 foot thick. It lasts for the duration, blocking arrows, smaller creatures, gases, and fog.
> Lightning Bolt: You release a bolt of lightning that arcs toward a target you can see within range. A line of electricity 100 feet long and 5 feet wide blasts out from you in a direction you choose. Each creature in the line must make a Dexterity saving throw, taking 8d6 lightning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Actions

Multiattack. The djinni makes two scimitar attacks.

Wind Blade. Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 15 (2d8 + 6) slashing damage plus 5 (1d10) lightning damage.

Windforce Blade (Enhanced Multiattack). If Izel hits a target with both attacks during his Multiattack, the target is pushed 10 feet away from him.

Whirlwind (1/Day). As an action, Izel transforms into a whirlwind for one turn, moving in a straight line up to 60 feet. Any creature in the path of the whirlwind must make a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, the creature takes 18 (3d12) bludgeoning damage and is thrown 15 feet in a random direction and knocked prone. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and is not thrown or knocked prone.

Legendary Actions

Izel can take legendary actions, choosing from the options below.

Wind Push. After every enemy's turn, Izel rolls a D20; on a 13 or higher, he uses the wind to move one enemy within 60 feet of him. The target must succeed on a DC 16 Strength saving throw or be pushed 15 feet in any direction Izel chooses and knocked prone.

Wind Buffet. Izel creates a small burst of intense wind around himself. Each creature within 10 feet of Izel must succeed on a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw or take 17 (3d10) bludgeoning damage and be pushed 10 feet away from him. Using Wind Buffet breaks Izel’s concentration and ends his turn.

Lair Actions

• At the start of each turn, roll a D20. On a 10 or higher, all creatures on the battlefield are pushed 5 feet in a random direction determined by a d8 roll. This unpredictable movement simulates the chaotic nature of the winds that Izel commands.

Because of a tight schedule for me, I will be posting discussion questions May 16 or 17. Please feel free to join us.

Hiya folks!

My partner (M36) and I (F30) have been in a relationship for 2 years (living together for 1) and have started talking about marriage lately. Neither of us has popped the question yet (we both want to be proposed to), but we're starting to do "Marriage Mondays" and work through The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver. (I was also thinking of reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov since my partner has ADHD.)

We're both big into communication, studying relationship books, and making sure we iron things out before we take the next step. Before we moved in, we talked about divvying up household chores and made a spreadsheet detailing who does what. We also made sure that the spreadsheet was not a holy text, and if one of us was feeling bad (whether because of sickness, mental health, or work stress), the other would temporarily pick up the slack (or at least cut the other person some slack!) It's been great so far and I really do feel like we're in an equitable partnership. (As much as it can be, at least!)

But of course, marriage is a whole other story. We both live in a different country from where we're from and if we ever have kids, we won't be able to rely on either one of our families for much. I know the major topics of finance, kids, and careers, but is there anything else (besides the wedding) you all may have done or questions you asked to "prepare" for marriage?