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    1. How can we encourage more posts with comments here?

      On this page, I see posts, but no comments. It's a see of death. The same is true of all game design subreddits. Despite this being a thing a lot of people find interesting, there doesn't seem to...

      On this page, I see posts, but no comments. It's a see of death. The same is true of all game design subreddits. Despite this being a thing a lot of people find interesting, there doesn't seem to be any really successful community oriented way to talk about this type of thing.

      What types of posts do you think we could make to bring this space to life?

      Personally, I think in-depth reviews of games you've played a lot are the way to go. Say you're a grandmaster at chess. Give it a review. Have you played Monopoly into the ground? Critique it. I'd like to start discussing here to, what other ways are there to liven this up?

      I also may start posting speculative designs. So, game rulesets I've come up with, asking for comments from others on what they think I should look out for.

      9 votes
    2. What level of conversation is Tildes aiming for?

      One thing I'm uncertain about Tildes is how informative its posts are meant to be. I've been keeping myself from posting hype threads about upcoming movies (Dune, Ride Your Wave, etc.). What type...

      One thing I'm uncertain about Tildes is how informative its posts are meant to be. I've been keeping myself from posting hype threads about upcoming movies (Dune, Ride Your Wave, etc.).
      What type of balance is tildes trying to strike? I'm in favor of shitposting, but against images, since I think text encourages the type of discussion I'm looking for a community. So I'd like to see copypasta, but I'm not sure what the general consensus is.

      Edit: I'm looking less for general examples than some sort of hard and clear rule. I'm seeing comments which disagree somewhat and leave ambiguities, but I believe the criteria should be better laid out.

      12 votes
    3. As a teacher, what can I do to protect myself and my students should schools reopen in the fall?

      I'm a teacher in the US, and the question of whether schools reopen is very much still up in the air (and location dependent). However, I heard some internal talk from my district that looks like...

      I'm a teacher in the US, and the question of whether schools reopen is very much still up in the air (and location dependent). However, I heard some internal talk from my district that looks like they are, at present, leaning towards a partial reopening that will likely have me back in the building, in-person, with a room of students in the fall.

      Assuming this is the case, I want to prepare now. I'm operating on the following assumptions:

      1. Provisions from the school and district will (allegedly) meet a certain minimum, but there is an effective maximum beyond those measures that I can independently pursue.

      2. Until the virus's spread is contained, the likelihood of someone who is infected with COVID-19 being in my room is non-negligible.

      As such, I'm looking to maximize the safety of myself and others in my room as much as possible. I'm looking for guidance in the following areas:

      1. What are the best, legitimate masks I can get for myself? N95s are out of stock everywhere, or, if they're in stock, they're from sketchy sources that are almost certainly selling fakes.

      2. What are the best masks I can get for students? They are supposed to be bringing their own, and I assume our school will have something in place for kids without them, but if for whatever reason a child makes it to my class without a mask (or breaks theirs or something like that), I'd like to have extras on hand for them.

      3. Is there any other PPE I should look into? Gloves, facemasks, robes, etc. I don't mind wearing whatever will keep me and others safe, even if it looks ridiculous. On the other hand, I don't want to go overboard either.

      4. Where can I get bulk hand sanitizer and/or cleaning wipes? These also seem to be widely out of stock. Also, are there types/brands that are more effective than one another?

      5. Is there anything else I should stock up on now? I'm worried about a run on already low supplies once schools announce reopening plans.

      6. What best practices should I employ while in the classroom setting? I want to protect myself and the kids in my room as much as possible. Anything that I can control to reduce risk (e.g. procedures, ventilation, etc.) I want to implement.

      7. What level of risk am I potentially putting myself in? I need some straight talk here. Be as transparent as possible with me about the reality of what I'm potentially facing.

      8. Is there anything else I need to know or do in advance of the school year starting? I've got time to prepare. I want to make sure I do whatever I can now. Even if it turns out in hindsight that I overprepared, I'll be happier knowing I did everything I could rather than being in a position where I wish I had done more.

      Also I should note that I am willing to pay for quality. I don't want to put my life in the hands of the cheapest options out there. As much as I resent the idea that I would have to pay for any of this myself, I'm not about to gamble on this.

      30 votes
    4. Can we have an option to collapse all the threads too?

      Meant primarily for long threads (35+ comments) Mainly because sometimes we just want to get to the reply box after reading through a long comment section and checking several times over now that...

      Meant primarily for long threads (35+ comments)

      Mainly because sometimes we just want to get to the reply box after reading through a long comment section and checking several times over now that highlighting new comments is a default feature and the fastest way to do that is closing a bunch of threads or tapping the screen a few times/scrolling.

      Admittedly it's kinda silly but being able to collapse all the threads and get straight to the reply box seems like a pretty good QoL feature.

      7 votes
    5. Digital Lithium

      I'd like to preface this with saying I'm not a super big fan of the internet. While it's a great tool and places like Tildes exist, I'd posit that a vast majority of the internet is less utility...

      I'd like to preface this with saying I'm not a super big fan of the internet. While it's a great tool and places like Tildes exist, I'd posit that a vast majority of the internet is less utility and more waste of mental space for most people. How much information does the typical web page for different types of content offer? How much do we intend to absorb? How much do we actually absorb? Most people say it is a decreasing trend, the web page offers (in ELI5 fashion) three informations, we try to absorb two, we generally only get one.

      I believe it's different now-a-days. The web page offers two, we intend to absorb one, but we end up with three informations. Modern internet journalism preys on our emotions, social media preys on our emotions. The authors of major internet outlets sensationalize everything. So we end up with:

      1. The information we are interested in.
      2. The superfluous information, often irrelevant, through content like advertisements, "related topics/articles/pages" and other people's comments (not always made in good faith or constructive).
      3. Our emotional reaction. This is something that while engineered by the content creators, only exists in our minds.

      Like any good book, we pick up the content and when we put it down we walk away with more to think about than what was originally written. Except, what do we do when this concept is detrimental to societal development and our own health?

      Then we think about the speed of information. What prompted this entire post for me was an article I was reading on CNN today, about the execution of Daniel Lewis Lee. This is not a man I have any sympathy for, I do not like him or any ideas he represented. A man convicted of killing three people and a self-proclaimed white supremacist was executed this morning.

      This morning.

      I got into town this morning and read the article, it had been posted 10 minutes prior.

      10 minutes.

      Mr. Lee was pronounced dead at 8:07AM ET. I read this article at about 6:30AM MT. Within 30 or so minutes of a man being killed for what the state claims is his crime, I was informed by an internet article. I am about 2000 miles away from where this man was killed.

      30 minutes.

      I have been off the internet for quite some time, so I'm getting back into the groove a little bit. This hit me like a truck, had this occurred 3 months ago I don't think I would have flinched. What kind of world do we live in, where a ubiquitous monstrosity called the internet can so easily desensitize us to the fact that a human being was just killed by the state for their crimes?

      I offer no sympathies for the man or his actions, I do not wish this to be a post about the death penalty but that is still a human being that was just killed. I argue not whether or not he should have been executed, I instead posit that our reactions as a society are a testament to how much empathy and humanity has been lost in the modern age. In the grand scheme of things, for everybody but the most intimately familiar and impacted people, this is just a headline. It will be forgotten in a few days, life will go on. I believe this is a direct consequence of the aforementioned information overload in association with emotionally driven content.

      Is this the world we created? Is this how we want to live? In this society where the loss of one is equal to the loss of none? Even the loss of a distant many is inconsequential in the modern, desensitized age. I believe we as a people are numbed by our own creations, and I honestly don't know what we can do about it.

      9 votes
    6. Have you ever been discriminated against because of a disability (specifically mental illness?)

      Hey gang! So it has been a minute! I alluded to my plan to venture off into the woods in prior posts but didn't go into too much detail. Any who, I'm back but not on my own accord. The reason I...

      Hey gang!

      So it has been a minute! I alluded to my plan to venture off into the woods in prior posts but didn't go into too much detail. Any who, I'm back but not on my own accord.

      The reason I ask this question is because it just happened to me. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for going on 15 years, I've talked to a lot of people about it, gotten help, and received a lot of support over the years. I have never had it blow back in my face like it just did. Super long story kind of short:

      • I want to offer some context here, that not more than a week prior, my organization had a "getting vulnerable" meeting whereby we were asked (but not required) to share some information about ourselves with our crews. Crews worked and lived together in remote back country settings for months at a time, to be honest it went pretty well. I did not open up too much at the time as I had just met everybody, but eventually I got more comfortable.
      • I told the wrong person at my work, my direct supervisor (I was in no danger at any point during my employment, this information was given in a contextual fashion. Because we work so closely together for weeks at a time and also live together, these types of things tend to come out.)
      • They told the wrong people (management).
      • I was talked to for 5 hours in a closed door meeting with the top brass of the organization (read: interrogated and asked to give a comprehensive psychological background, even though I had already given them a topical briefing during the hiring process.)
      • I was pulled out of the field for liability reasons (I openly objected to this, saying that said field was best for my mental health.)
      • I was placed on an "in-town" crew that I did not want to join (I openly objected to this as well.)
      • I tried to exist on the new crew, but found it immediately and chronically untenable. My new coworkers were OK people, but the stark contrast in personalities between my old and new crew was jarring. Given our line and nature of work, this is super important and there's no way top brass didn't know about this. I voiced this and once again requested to be placed back in the back country at a base camp, I was ignored.
      • My mental health began to catch up to me. I did not like my position in life or at work, having to live in the city which is something I came out here to entirely avoid was crushing any and all morale I tried to work up.
      • The writing was on the wall. I didn't like it there anymore, and my employer didn't seem to care (despite their claims) about where I was within the organization.
      • I voluntarily resigned due to mental health reasons rather than just walk out. The urge to entirely burn this bridge and emphatically explain to them why what they did was so improper was incredibly strong, but I decided not to. This organization is a big name in our field and the field isn't all that big, they stated that I'd be welcome back, I'd sooner clean a peanut butter covered shag carpet with my tongue.

      The general mood and sentiment during all of my conversations with staff members could be described as tense. The way in which I was treated during all of those meetings was as though I was a conglomeration of suicidal, homicidal and a direct threat to anybody near me. I could literally see their brains doing very careful dance numbers as they walked over what they thought were eggshells, when at no point was that the case in my view. Their actions, disguised as being motivated by empathy, came straight out of the Harvard Business School of Cover Your Ass. At one point they mentioned they had a psychologist on retainer that they were consulting. I have seen so many damn therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, shrinks and every other name in the book over 15 years. I have never met one that would ever make any absolute statements or suggest any concrete actions before even meeting a patient. Their inability to even empathize with what I had been going through was apparent. At no point did they seem to consider the human in the room, it was always "we appreciate what you bring", "you are a good resource to have", and the worst of all "we hear you, but..." Holy fuck the lingering but was bad. "I'm not racist, but...", dude sit the fuck down.

      So that happened within a week or so. There's quite a few more details but I don't want to make the entire point of this post to rant (even though that's what it has turned into.) I am now jobless, homeless as housing was through my work, in an entirely new city to me and floating on savings. It's not too bad to be honest. This is not my first homeless (hobo, vagabond, rubber tramp) experience/adventure, I'm not financially comfortable (I'm on borrowed time) but I'm not broke and honestly I'm in a good place mentally. I've been camping in the woods and I've got everything I need to survive. I'm even super involved in a local activist group, if that's any testament to how comfortable I've become in my current position.

      So, does this sound familiar to anybody here? Have you been discriminated against in this fashion? How'd you react? Cope? Where did you go from there? I'd like to hear from others to simply know I'm not alone in this bullshit. I've been in support groups for mental health, and other reasons, but I've never realized the need for this subset of people to seek support. It's been 10 days now and I'm honestly still in shock.

      Feel free to get as vulnerable as you want, I won't tell your fucking inept boss.

      20 votes
    7. Contributing with a lack of contribution

      Does anyone else struggle contributing to communities? Maybe I'm being overly critical of myself, but it seems like I have nothing to offer up other than comments. I'm completely happy commenting...

      Does anyone else struggle contributing to communities? Maybe I'm being overly critical of myself, but it seems like I have nothing to offer up other than comments.

      I'm completely happy commenting on posts, and I feel like I do so in good faith. It just feels like if I'm not contributing actual content I'm benefiting from the community without contributing to it. Am I being overly critical? Am I looking at this all wrong?

      *EDIT Spelling correction.

      19 votes
    8. Does self-promotion feel "bad" for anyone else?

      So, let's say I wrote something on my blog[1] and want people to check it out. Since I don't have any proper "audience" (and I don't expect one given I rarely post something), I don't really see...

      So, let's say I wrote something on my blog[1] and want people to check it out. Since I don't have any proper "audience" (and I don't expect one given I rarely post something), I don't really see any way other than sharing my own posts on places like Tildes, relevant subreddits, etc.

      But doing this feels bad. I feel like I'm using these places just as a dumping ground for my own posts, trying to boost my own site or whatever, even though I don't earn anything from it.

      If I check my Tildes history, 3 of the 4 topics I submitted are self-promotion in some way. On my comments the ratio of promotion vs "natural" comments look lower, but even just saying that makes me feel like I'm trying to lie about something.

      One thing about my small number of topics are that I don't really think about sharing links I come across, since I feel like none of them would fit the site, and most of them are already shared here.

      I don't know if the self-promotion is frowned upon, if I should continue, how I'd "diversify" my posting habits, and all that. What do you all think?

      [1]: Doesn't have to be a blog post, it could be anything.

      15 votes
    9. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of July 13

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      10 votes
    10. What are your thoughts on the possibility of public schools re-opening?

      My feelings are a bit mixed as there are painful consequences on both sides of the equation. However, I ultimately feel that schools in their current set up cannot work in the current environment...

      My feelings are a bit mixed as there are painful consequences on both sides of the equation. However, I ultimately feel that schools in their current set up cannot work in the current environment and shouldn't be re-opened. The likelihood of the virus spreading and killing grandparents, parents, and teachers is guaranteed. But I feel like the US has to address the negative consequences of kids staying at home. What that would look like, I'm not 100% sure. I don't even think you can apply a set of guidelines that would fit every situation out there.

      Some things that I think would work in some areas:

      • Open air schools
      • Cafeteria food delivery to students on free, or reduced lunch.
      • School-provided internet hot spots (I think this is being provided for already in some places)
      • Traveling teachers- teachers providing some sort of in-person check ups on students, especially those that are at-risk.
      • Schools move towards being open in the Spring, Summer, and partial Fall, with Winter break replacing Summer break.
      • Schools partially re-open, with 1/5th the students coming in on one day a week.

      Would really be interested in hearing the thoughts and ideas of others on this topic. Especially the people who work in the education field.

      22 votes
    11. Are there any requirements to creating a group on Tildes?

      I've been playing Destiny 2 and I have so many questions. I thought about reaching out to people who actually know what they are doing. Since I'm moving away from Reddit and other sites like that...

      I've been playing Destiny 2 and I have so many questions. I thought about reaching out to people who actually know what they are doing. Since I'm moving away from Reddit and other sites like that I thought about creating a D2 group here on Tildes. However, If it requires "work" as a moderator or something like that I would honestly pass.

      So my questions are: can anyone create a group? As a creator do you have to do any "work" on that group?

      Thanks

      14 votes
    12. Sharptooth - Transitional Forms (2020)

      Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/transitional-forms/1502187566 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/6pHXuiWvMSPTyBb0hHe8Yv?si=gPRk-8hoRD2qoFZI91LSfg YouTube:...

      Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/transitional-forms/1502187566
      Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/6pHXuiWvMSPTyBb0hHe8Yv?si=gPRk-8hoRD2qoFZI91LSfg
      YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYQhPJrQIlgNxrODF9mS-wAC5BS6jET0c

      Baltimore hardcore outfit Sharptooth is back with their sophomore effort and it's no slump. The riffs are crunchy as hell and the vocals are more brutal than ever. Remaining is Sharptooth's political edge, which is as sharp as ever. Stand out lyrics include "You're not a feminist just because you fucked one" and the album opener "This is a song about nothing/Oh no, not a single thing/'Cause in the absence of content/I hope that you'll forget/That all this shit never meant a thing."

      Lauren Kashan's vocals are vastly improved. Her unclean vox are much more guttural while her cleans include more harmonies and layered work. Fellow song writer of the group Lance Donati employs a lot of inverted power chords to keep the sound aggressive and explosive.

      For fans of political hardcore punk like Stray From the Path, seeyouspacecowboy, Knocked Loose and Every Time I Die.

      3 votes
    13. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      6 votes
    14. Is anyone here involved with Stack Exchange/Stack Overflow? How do you feel about the new moderator agreement?

      First post on Tildes (though I've commented some before). I'm a mod on one of the "beta" sites, and have been for almost four years now. I don't follow any of the other sites really, and certainly...

      First post on Tildes (though I've commented some before). I'm a mod on one of the "beta" sites, and have been for almost four years now.

      I don't follow any of the other sites really, and certainly not Meta, so the whole Monica scandal kinda happened without me noticing. After the fallout (or amidst, I guess), Shog9 and several other community managers that I liked were fired, with seemingly no notice or cause.

      Then after that, there seemed to be a push to create a "mod council" to create standards for behavior and for removal and reinstatement of moderators.

      But the whole thing has seemed so needless, everything could have been cleared up with a few heartfelt announcements (and/or apologies), and the executive team at SE has just been so damn opaque about everything.

      Then, to top things off for me personally, the community leaders were explicit in stating that the votes for members of the mod council would not be treated as binding, so what's the point? They can just be a rubber stamp at that point if they're not freely elected. The new moderator rules are "abide by the council-approved rules and whatever the community managers say." The new moderator rules also say "moderators will be removed and reinstated per the council-approved procedure for doing so, except when SE doesn't want to use that policy."

      The mod council vote was non-binding, and then SE is making it a point to clearly state that the rules approved by the council don't matter.

      It's this last bit that is coming as too much of an insult for me. I've told my fellow moderators that I'm not planning on signing the agreement. I don't understand why there has to be such an adversarial relationship here when I'm volunteering my time.

      I don't want to leave, but everything is just rubbing me the wrong way. Please someone help me understand how I'm wrong. I just can't understand the way things have been publicly announced.

      17 votes
    15. Confessions of a Dumb Person

      Hi, I'm not being false-modest. I'm actually dumb. I can tell by the initial interactions I have with people. Within 10 minutes of meeting someone, they'll point out how something dumb...

      Hi,

      I'm not being false-modest. I'm actually dumb.

      I can tell by the initial interactions I have with people. Within 10 minutes of meeting someone, they'll point out how something dumb manifested... and I'm usually in the room when they say it and I'm usually the one who did the dumb thing and it somehow comes out that I did dumb thing... awkward silence... fumbling words/take backs to try and "save" it.

      I wish people wouldn't try to take it back. It's like I should be ashamed I'm dumb. I don't think I'm dumb, I just think that I think differently (and I also don't know a lot of things).

      I have my own narration. Instead of trying to "save" the situation, I wish people would ask me my narrative/thought process. If I bring it up without being asked, it sounds like I'm trying to make excuses for myself, or I dig a bigger hole because I expose how even more dumb I am?

      It's weird. I know I'm dumb, I just don't know when I'm doing something dumb.

      Do you know how hard it is going through life not really knowing why you're dumb or when you'll be doing something dumb?

      Anyway. What's a dumb thing you've done?

      29 votes
    16. What, if anything, did you do for Pride Month this year?

      Normally June is a time for celebration and demonstration for LGBT people in the USA (thanks for the correction, @Algernon_Asimov!), but on account of COVID and our need to protest widespread...

      Normally June is a time for celebration and demonstration for LGBT people in the USA (thanks for the correction, @Algernon_Asimov!), but on account of COVID and our need to protest widespread racial injustice, this past month felt like an unusually somber and isolated Pride Month.

      I'm wondering if anyone here did anything for Pride Month, whether it was a celebration, protest, reflection, creation, or something else entirely. If you didn't do anything, feel free to share why not as well. I think a lot of us are likely in similar boats.

      12 votes
    17. Why do some/most nasal decongestants create feedback loops of congestion and (more importantly for me) how can one get over the withdrawal effects created by it's excessive use, and in what timeframe?

      For context: my mother said that my father has used these decongestants regularly for as long as she has known him. He passed this habit onto me when I was young, originally with Afrin, then...

      For context: my mother said that my father has used these decongestants regularly for as long as she has known him. He passed this habit onto me when I was young, originally with Afrin, then Narix. Given there is a recommendation to not use these decongestants for extensive periods of time and apparently a rebound effect and syndrome called rhinitis medicamentosa comes from ditching it's use after said long periods, my mother decided using it like this is unhealthy and thus cut my use of it for the day, and given this stuff is cited in Wikipedia and a fair number of news/medical articles, it seems legitimate, and thus I agreed.

      After that, my skin is more prone to goosebumps and being overly sensitive, my eyes are watering more, my throat feels more scratchy (although I already woke up with that, before my mother made this decision) my nose is running way more than it used to.
      Can I blame withdrawal on this?
      What happened to me?
      How long does this last?

      And is this site really where I should turn to to try to find out?

      8 votes
    18. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of July 6

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      13 votes
    19. User level preference to black-list posts from domains

      My question is would it be possible to have a user-level preference to not show posts which link to a certain domain? I want to clarify, this would only affect the user (based on their...

      My question is would it be possible to have a user-level preference to not show posts which link to a certain domain?
      I want to clarify, this would only affect the user (based on their preferences) and what they see on tildes.

      Asking this question after seeing a bunch of posts from intlnewsdesk.org being posted here, and I am not able to find much about this site and would prefer not to provide more traffic to this site. (Seems like the user posting this signed up a day ago and pretty much has posted only articles to the above mentioned site).

      13 votes
    20. Show Tildes: Midnight.pub, a virtual pub

      Three weeks ago I decided I should stop developing on my own and open my side project to get feedback. So here we are now. Midnight pub is a writing platform that aims to be the virtual equivalent...

      Three weeks ago I decided I should stop developing on my own and open my side project to get feedback. So here we are now.

      Midnight pub is a writing platform that aims to be the virtual equivalent of a pub: you go there to talk about your day, interact with a person or two while you unwind, and leave whenever you feel like. It's centered around the idea of entries & references (backlinks) to connect entries together.

      It's a small community of people at the moment. Anyone is welcome to drop by and say hi!

      https://midnight.pub/

      19 votes
    21. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      7 votes
    22. Has there ever been a moment where you felt you were doing fine but in hindsight you were a lot more vulnerable/troubled/worse off than you thought?

      Around 2 years ago, when I first made a reddit account, I spent a lot of time on AskReddit asking about 'why are women so hard to date' like a personification of the dunning-kruger effect (while I...

      Around 2 years ago, when I first made a reddit account, I spent a lot of time on AskReddit asking about 'why are women so hard to date' like a personification of the dunning-kruger effect (while I don't think I've really learned anything about dating and socialization since then, I have stopped thinking women don't share the same basic emotions and reactions as men and in general don't think they're so removed from guys). Given that and how little engagement my threads were getting (it's AskReddit, but I didn't know what I was expecting) I was basically ready to be made an incel. Thankfully someone snapped me out of it by calling 12-year old me a neckbeard, which terrified me away from touching dating for a few months at least.

      PS: If the answer is "if you don't feel like this you're in trouble, people don't/shouldn't just stop developing like that", I won't be surprised.

      15 votes
    23. My first DnD character died. What should I do next?

      I've been playing a Tomb of Annihilation campaign with some friends the past few months, and we are all relatively new players (each of us having played about one campaign before). As far as I...

      I've been playing a Tomb of Annihilation campaign with some friends the past few months, and we are all relatively new players (each of us having played about one campaign before). As far as I know this is the first time any of us have been in a campaign where a PC dies. My level 4 wizard was suddenly and violently killed by a flesh golem.

      None of us are exactly sure how to proceed, and there's some disagreement. A few of the people in my party think that any new character should be a level or two behind the party in order to further dis-incentivize dying. I personally think that is too harsh, and luckily it seems like we are reaching a consensus that my new character should be the same level, but I shouldn't be able to play as the same race and class.

      This seems more or less reasonable to me, although to be honest I really enjoyed playing as a wizard so I wouldn't have minded doing so again. I'm mainly curious to hear how you all handle character deaths, and any tips you might have for making a new character mid-campaign.

      10 votes
    24. Getting my new skate boots!

      I'm so excited. I'm getting measured very soon for custom-fit Harlick figure skating boots. Takes 8-10 weeks for them to be ready, so I'll have them before my local rink reopens! I've been going...

      I'm so excited. I'm getting measured very soon for custom-fit Harlick figure skating boots.

      Takes 8-10 weeks for them to be ready, so I'll have them before my local rink reopens! I've been going to an ice rink much further so I don't get rusty in the mean time… it's fun, but exhausting (and expensive) to travel an hour and back every time for just 3.5hrs of training.

      Booking for measurements wasn't exactly simple either. I have to travel to France, take two trains and three taxis to get to some city I've never even heard of. And that's the closest shop to me.

      Seriously I'm hyped. I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas day right now, and this week I'm traveling to give my wishlist to Santa in person.

      16 votes
    25. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of June 29

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      11 votes
    26. What do your bookshelves look like, and how do you organize them?

      In a recent topic on ~books, I mentioned my own efforts at organizing my bookshelves, and took some pics to showcase that effort... and it got me curious what other Tildes users bookshelves looked...

      In a recent topic on ~books, I mentioned my own efforts at organizing my bookshelves, and took some pics to showcase that effort... and it got me curious what other Tildes users bookshelves looked like, and what organization methods they use.

      So, what do your bookshelves look like, and how do you organize them?

      p.s. Feel free to also talk about anything related to this, e.g. what books you like the cover art of, what you do with annoyingly oversized books, ask others about particular books on their shelves, etc... :)

      13 votes
    27. I just made my last ever student loan payment!

      I'm throwing myself a little party here -- digital drinks on me! Yes, I know my loans weren't accruing interest on account of COVID-19, but long before that all started I'd been aggressively...

      I'm throwing myself a little party here -- digital drinks on me!

      Yes, I know my loans weren't accruing interest on account of COVID-19, but long before that all started I'd been aggressively paying them down because I wanted them GONE. And now they ARE! (Or, they will be once the payment clears, which for some unknown reason takes my loan servicer like two full weeks).

      The quarantine actually helped me accelerate payments. I rolled over what I was saving in gas money and not eating out into my loan payments. Also, as a teacher I only get paid during the school year, but I have the option to reduce my regular paychecks and roll the difference into a lump sum that gets paid out at the beginning of the summer. I choose this option so that my budgeting is consistent year-round (rather than me having to squirrel away my own nest egg for the summer from my other paychecks). The payoff amount on my loan would have been done around August had I kept with my regular schedule of payments, so I went ahead and treated myself to making the final payment in full, now, as I had the money for it upfront.

      I cannot tell you how good it feels to finally be free of them. I paid off my undergrad loans in under 10 years and felt super proud of myself, only to immediately have to turn around and start the process all over again for grad school. Months after I finished my undergrad loan payments I was again accepting tens of thousands of dollars in debt so that I could get a master's degree to qualify myself for a job that I'd already been doing for years. It was not a great feeling, nor something I was very happy about, but you do what you have to do, right?

      BUT NOW IT'S OVER. NO MORE STUDENT LOANS. I'VE WON THAT AMERICAN MILLENNIAL BOSS FIGHT.

      It honestly feels like I just got a big raise, as, come August, once my timeline for paying the loans is done, all the money that I was putting towards them is now mine to do whatever I want with. I'm not saying this to gloat (and I know that I'm financially very privileged even in light of my debt), but simply because I'm reveling in the feeling of being out from under the suffocating thumb of a difficult financial pressure, and it feels wonderful.

      EDIT: If anyone's wanting to join in my festivities remotely, participating is easy! All you need to do is pour yourself a tasty drink of your choosing, grab a delicious snack you love, and throw Carly Rae Jepsen's discography on shuffle.

      43 votes
    28. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      11 votes
    29. Your Black Friends Are Busy - A growing resource for learning about anti-racism, and supporting the people & organizations doing important work for the Black Lives Matter movement

      If, like me, you'd like to learn more about how to be an ally to your black friends, but feel awkward bringing it up, this is a cool little web app that has a bunch of literature and links you can...

      If, like me, you'd like to learn more about how to be an ally to your black friends, but feel awkward bringing it up, this is a cool little web app that has a bunch of literature and links you can read to find out more about the black experience and how to help.

      12 votes
    30. Tilweaks: A user style I made to "clean up" Tildes' interface

      This was originally made just for personal use, but I decided to clean it up and share it. Should support all built-in themes (Themes other than Dracula were afterthoughts and might not be as...

      This was originally made just for personal use, but I decided to clean it up and share it.

      • Should support all built-in themes (Themes other than Dracula were afterthoughts and might not be as polished. Especially light themes)
      • All changes are toggle-able

      Changes

      • Configurable font size
      • Remove sidebar background
        • Make the sidebar primary button clear (border only)
      • Add a border to the "main" element
      • Add extra spacing to various elements
        • Remove the alternating background from thread colors
      • Remove comment borders
        • Add depth indicators (dotted left border for children only)
        • Add comment backgrounds (to separate comments without borders)
      • Hide votes (disabled by default)

      Installation

      Configuration under Stylus

      1. Open the extension popup in when in tildes.net
      2. Click the cog next to Tilweaks
      3. Edit to your liking
      20 votes
    31. Pew Research Center's political typology series

      1999 edition 2005 edition 2011 edition 2014 edition 2017 edition (Interactive version) It's really interesting and pretty useful to know how the 2 US parties are split and which voting blocks have...

      1999 edition

      2005 edition

      2011 edition

      2014 edition

      2017 edition (Interactive version)

      It's really interesting and pretty useful to know how the 2 US parties are split and which voting blocks have dissappeared and emerged over time and some blocks don't really fit all too well in the 2 parties (most notably the religious left). This also serves as a kind of model for what a multiparty US might look like.

      6 votes
    32. Increasing personal security online and Yubikey

      I have recently noticed an uptick in phishing emails and SMSs, getting me to click on some malicious link and this has been troubling me. I am fairly good about what I click and so far I haven't...

      I have recently noticed an uptick in phishing emails and SMSs, getting me to click on some malicious link and this has been troubling me.
      I am fairly good about what I click and so far I haven't clicked anything malicious (I think). However, this has motivated me to up my online security.

      All my computers run Linux and I use an Android phone.

      For browsing I use Firefox, with NoScript (and uBlock) and use containers for separating personal/shopping sites, etc.
      I also have host file blocking on my computers and phone (using AdAway).

      I do have a pi-hole setup at home as well.

      I also have 2FA setup on all my banking accounts, email accounts etc.
      However all my banking account 2FA is still just using SMS. Which I think is now easily circumvented.
      Email accounts do use Authenticator apps (like Authy and Google Authenticator).

      I also use a password manager (this one), which works well for me, but is only available on my computer and not from my phone. I am split between having my password manager available on my phone tho, since it is always on me and could be stolen or have something malicious installed on. What do you guys think? I am wary of services like LastPass, is that valid?

      So I wanted to start a thread to discuss what do you guys do to stay safe online?
      I am also considering getting a pair of Yubikey (one backup), are there any caveats/pitfalls I need to be aware of with Yubikey?

      14 votes
    33. Help, any good resource on drawing?

      So I've been trying to get started on drawing, mostly about characters I wanted to draw, sometimes a bit of scenery. Thing is, besides the very basics of exercises, like shapes / line control /...

      So I've been trying to get started on drawing, mostly about characters I wanted to draw, sometimes a bit of scenery.

      Thing is, besides the very basics of exercises, like shapes / line control / hand-eye coordination, I really struggle to find any other resource, like anatomy, movement, and such.

      Do you have any book or online resource to recommend?

      8 votes
    34. What are some noteworthy games that aren't available through traditional/common means?

      I'm interested in hearing about games that exist off the main map of gaming: games that I can't buy from any of the common storefronts and games that aren't easily playable through an emulator....

      I'm interested in hearing about games that exist off the main map of gaming: games that I can't buy from any of the common storefronts and games that aren't easily playable through an emulator.

      Examples of things I'm interested in hearing about:

      • Long-forgotten abandonware
      • Homebrew games for consoles
      • Romhacks
      • Legally dubious fan-games
      • Total conversion mods
      • ARGs
      • Web games (not ones on sites like Kongregate/GameJolt though)
      • Independently distributed games (that you can't get through, say, itch.io)
      • Games for systems that aren't currently emulatable
      • Games that have been removed from distribution
      • Games with servers or content that are no longer operational
      • Anything else you think fits the question, really

      Tell me about the game(s) you know of and what makes them noteworthy.

      22 votes
    35. Thinking about opening a web store, looking for advice

      I am mulling over starting a side business that would involve selling physical products. I would like to set up a web store for this, but want to keep the amount of web development I have to do to...

      I am mulling over starting a side business that would involve selling physical products. I would like to set up a web store for this, but want to keep the amount of web development I have to do to a minimum. I would also not like to invade my customers' and potential customers' privacy. Can anyone recommend a way to approach this? I'm a software developer, but don't do much web development and don't really want to do development for this project beyond just getting the site up and running. What options exist for setting up a simple web store?

      I've done a search and see things like Shopify. I've heard of them and get the impression they're reputable, but other items in my search seemed kind of scammy. Are there things I should look out for in this space?

      8 votes
    36. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of June 22

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      10 votes
    37. Using the menstrual cup and open menstrual discussion

      I'm a female working in the construction field and was wondering how to dispose of my feminine products discreetly and hygienically in a portable potty with a crew full of males where male...

      I'm a female working in the construction field and was wondering how to dispose of my feminine products discreetly and hygienically in a portable potty with a crew full of males where male toxicity exists... 'twas weird.

      I've been meaning to make the jump to the menstrual cup (due to my sustainability inclinations), but due to laziness/squeamish reasons, I didn't make the jump until I realized how practical it was with my profession!

      I'm able to keep it in for a half day before emptying, so it's awesome for the jobsite! I can urinate with it too! which is also awesome... and! NO SMELL! I feel so much cleaner now. and the internal pressure kinda releases some cramps... not all the cramps, but some! And it's totally comfortable to work out in (for reference: I do outdoor running). Not to mention, there's way less waste and cost! (And for those who find bodily fluids cool, the thick, deep, dark red that you see when you empty makes me feel powerful, like you can conquer anything... in reality, I just sit with my Chimmy plush and wait for my significant other to plop chocolate goodies in my lap.)

      The only downside I could find is that it took some time to get used to (about 1 cycle) and I can't hold my pee (I know I'm not suppose to anyway, but it's a nice privilege... these pipes had some major damage).

      Anyway, any cycle stories/tips/tricks? embarrassing moments? origin story?
      I'll go first, my mom was in a ferocious fight with my older sister for spending the night with some guy or whatever. As my mom was ripping my sister's clothes/throwing her out the house, I got my first period. I had to interrupt the fight to ask what I should do... middle child problems! I guess I found a good way to break up a fight...

      35 votes
    38. Is there a GPS watch that does not have any wireless radios?

      I’m looking for a device that can track runs, whether it’s a watch or small device, which just exports raw GPS data via USB. I don’t want it to have Bluetooth, and it’s not enough to be able to...

      I’m looking for a device that can track runs, whether it’s a watch or small device, which just exports raw GPS data via USB. I don’t want it to have Bluetooth, and it’s not enough to be able to disable it, I would just like it to not have any wireless radios whatsoever. Have you guys ever seen anything like this? I feel like it doesn’t exist on the market.

      13 votes