Have public gaming communities always been terrible or do I expect too much?

ACEmat
2023-11-15T17:56:02Z

So, I have my group of IRL friends, and we have a Discord, as I'm sure many people do. I spend a lot of time there, and we've all played games online together since we were in middle school.

Well, now that we're all in our mid to late 20s, real life has caught up with most of us. Scheduling is hard, having free time is hard, having energy is hard, and now we've all found our genres we like, which all adds up to none of us ever playing much together anymore. I'm sure many of you can relate.

I ventured out into LFG groups trying to find a community. I'm not into competitive games, I prefer more cooperative and casual experiences (Satisfactory, NMS, and Snowrunner are my big 3 at the moment). That makes finding a group difficult as is. Finding a group that is primarily my age is harder. But nonetheless I persevered.

I've tried a number at this point, and it's always one of a handful of issues.

1. The group is hundreds, or sometimes thousands, of members big. Everyone gets swept in the masses and there's little individuality. These usually also have problems 2 and 3 due to their size.

2. There's just blatant -obias in the chats. Incels, toxic masculinity, racism disguised as "humor."

3. Supposedly I'm in a group of people who are 21+, but the maturity level might as well be a 14+ server.

At this point I feel like I'm losing my mind, that I'm being gaslit by the online Discord community. There is no way I should be feeling "too old" for this kind of thing, I'm only 26!

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