Career mentorship: How does one find a mentor?

chocobean
2025-11-16T01:13:14Z

Have you had a fulfilling mentorship, whether as mentor or mentee? How does one gain a mentor? Are there professional associations that one pays a fee to join?

Advice on career development wanted. Especially advice for introverted, neurodivergent women in business.

optional rambling
Background : I'm not young anymore, and to be honest, I feel embarrassed to be doing front line starter level work when [*comparison to others redacted*]. I like the day to day work I'm doing, I love working remotely, and I'm not interested in climbing the corporate ladder or spending my time managing people. But I do feel somewhat taken advantaged of by Sales team pushing work onto me, when I'm in support team. Its very difficult for me to stop speaking with "probably / I think / I feel that" etc; I'm working on appearing and speaking with more confidence. I am always receiving feedback that I'm fun and caring of others and easy to work with, but when I ask for opportunities at work it's always "we'll see" --> ghost --> "no". The gist of it is that I don't feel like I'm taken seriously.
I remember @lou mentioned that they were a writing mentor, but it took a lot of work and wasn't always rewarding. I understand that nobody wants a free-riding hanger on, of course. I do feel like I'd be willing to put in some work, but because we can't really know what we don't know, I don't know what I'm asking of a mentor. I don't have a clear goal? I joined a work committee recently but they're SO quiet no one is even saying hi, let alone feel like a community, or enabling more personal relationships.

I do realise it's entirely possible that I'm mediocre at "career" because I'm mediocre at "work", and i should keep getting better at work before expecting more. But I might also be held back by enduring values of "serve others quietly and take care of others while keeping your head down": my first professional job was so abusive but my parents got so mad/scared for me when I finally quit. Who do I think I am, asking for more?

I'm the go to person for a few types of things at work now, but I feel more like the laundry lady than "subject matter expert" that sales people like to introduce me as to clients. Sorry for the rambling.

I want to hear a variety of stories, of how you became good at "career", beyond becoming competent at "work", and how you learned to be good not only at what you do but how you go about doing what you do.

Thank you for your time.

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