No one likes it, but I have to admit that unexpected, hardcore adversity is a feature not a bug

gowestyoungman
2025-04-23T19:03:19Z

I dont think it would be unusual to say that I enjoy life when things are running smoothly and everything feels under control, stress levels are low and I can plan for an enjoyable future without much worry.

And then everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Like being wracked with unimaginable pain so bad I wake my wife in a cold sweat at 2 am and choke out "We need to get to Emergency now". And then, unbelievably, it gets even worse, so bad that thoughts that death might actually be sweet relief start to creep in.

That was two weeks ago when I found out that not only did I have a 3 cm gallstone stuffing up my gall bladder but it had perforated into my liver and my gut was filling with infection, a condition that can shut down organs or even be fatal if not treated rapidly. Through the miracle of modern Canadian healthcare, they had me multi tested, diagnosed and into emergency surgery in short order.

And a fortnight hence, I have a lot to ponder (because Im still too damn weak to do much more than type) and its made me admit that unexpected adversity is a gift not a curse.

Foremost, it focuses the mind. When youre laying on an operating table surrounded by surgeons and nurses and wondering if you're going to come out of it alive, a lot of things become unimportant. I didn't care about politics. Or bills. Or investments. Or achievements. Or just about anything. I just wanted to be ok, not only for my own sake but especially for those I care about. And at that point there was crystal clear realization that what counts is only that - those I care about. The rest is dust and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. A lesson I've learned profoundly once before, but the mind dulls with an easy existence and needs a refresher on occasion, unwelcome as it may be.

Coming through also taught me how much I take for granted, especially having reasonably good health. I've had random unexplained attacks before, but for a day I dealt with incredible pain and it was unbearable. I had to think of the people who deal with that kind of soul crushing challenge continuously - their existence and will to persevere is challenged on a daily basis. And hardly anyone sees that exhausting internal grind but just having the will to stay alive is a hard won battle every single day and no one's handing them trophies for it. I have respect for those who do it, and a much greater understanding for those who just can't and decide to opt out. I get why that makes sense for some.

I also have a newfound debt of gratitude to people with character, foresight and undefeated willpower like Tommy Douglas who fought for universal healthcare in this country, against the will of most doctors at the time who (to my great surprise) actually went on strike to oppose him. After 20 tests, xrays, a CT scan and emergency surgery (with 2 surgeons, anesthesiologist, and 4 nurses), and multiple days recovery in big, brand new private room and being sent home with all my meds my entire bill was zero. No one even mentioned money and there is no insurance or co-pay to settle. Its done. I cant imagine the burden Id be feeling today if I was now saddled with crushing debt, but I am deeply grateful for the system that did all this for free, even if I do have to pay higher taxes to get it. I will remember that the next time my income tax bill comes around and make a mental note that my taxes are not 'wasted'.

I'm not going to be yodelling with joy if something this painful slaps me upside the head again anytime soon. But I also meekly acknowledge that sometimes life's most profound, most well remembered lessons dont come out of joy, they are often seared into memory by unexpected, even shocking adversity. I might not like it at the time, but in hindsight, it's a gift. An unwanted but valuable gift.

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