Third spaces: What do we want, and how do we get them?

Aerrol
2026-02-25T02:09:34Z

Given some other very strong and interesting discussion on male loneliness recently (I'm intentionally not linking to avoid adding to drama or bringing that tension here), I thought I'd try and spark a discussion on what I see as a major problem that addresses male loneliness significantly without digging into the thorniness of gender norms and responsibilities: the death of third spaces.

There has been a decent amount of writing on the fact that third spaces - spaces that are not home or work where people can meet, hang out and build community - have been disappearing since at least the 90s (and really going extinct since Covid), and that we need to actively recreate them. But I have not yet seen any proposal that I think could be easily replicated and addresses the core needs that third spaces address. In fact, I haven't even seen any agreed-upon definition of what an ideal third space is, or what specific needs they should address!

So, let's talk about it. In no particular priority or order:

What are some third spaces you enjoy or fondly remember?

What are the key features of third spaces to you? Do they need to be free, or just low enough cost that people can join in relatively easily?

What key needs should a good third space address?

Who should run them? The government? Community groups? For-profit?

Are there any groups or initiatives that have shown a good formula for re-creating third spaces across their communities?

How do we ensure people are motivated to join third spaces? We aren't going to get really lonely, isolated people out just by opening up doors most of the time.

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