Some general advice for all the new Tildes users

cfabbro
Wed, 21 Jun 2023 17:20:48 +0000

I've noticed a significant amount of mod actions taking place over the last few days, and quite a few locked topics, so I just wanted to offer some basic advice for all the new users to help prevent that from continuing, or getting worse.

Don't bring the bad habits you learned on reddit here to Tildes, please. Consider this a chance to start fresh.

It's okay to walk away from a disagreement here before it escalates into a heated argument. And when arguments happen, please don't resort to insulting the other person, as that just escalates things even further, and pollutes the atmosphere here. Not everyone who disagrees with you, or misinterprets your meaning or intent, is acting in bad faith. So try to assume good faith before responding. And if you can't do that, then just walk away. Take a breather. It's not the end of the world if you let someone else have the last word in a disagreement.

Don't use the Exemplary label (which many of you have recently unlocked the ability to use) as a "super-agree" between two people having an argument. It's not meant for picking a side. That's not what it's for. And if you do use it that way your ability to use Exemplary labels may be revoked.

And finally, try to be nice. Please. Don't be a jerk. As Eevee said in On a technicality (which I recommend everyone read, since it inspired some of the core philosophies behind Tildes):

There are some nice people in the world. I mean nice people, the sort I couldn’t describe myself as. People who are friends with everyone, who are somehow never involved in any argument, who seem content to spend their time drawing pictures of bumblebees on flowers that make everyone happy.

Those people are great to have around. You want to hold onto them as much as you can.

But people only have so much tolerance for jerkiness, and really nice people often have less tolerance than the rest of us.

The trouble with not ejecting a jerk — whether their shenanigans are deliberate or incidental — is that you allow the average jerkiness of the community to rise slightly. The higher it goes, the more likely it is that those really nice people will come around less often, or stop coming around at all. That, in turn, makes the average jerkiness rise even more, which teaches the original jerk that their behavior is acceptable and makes your community more appealing to other jerks. Meanwhile, more people at the nice end of the scale are drifting away.

And Tildes wants to hold on to those nice people.

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