12
votes
my therapist won't return my calls (lmfao fuck me)
tw: self-harm; suicide; lost love.
i hit my cigarette
like an abuser hits her wife
because i'm a fucking coward
to afraid to take his life
i've felt love before
i beg it through the strife
but i only find a heart
at the wrong side of a blunt and useless knife
.
and it's only mine
at least there's proof
that i can feel
when blood protrudes.
but that's not "work appropriate"
so i get tattoos
what a shame i can't get paid to die.
i remember waking up after driving my car into the side of the highway
writhing in hosptial "my, my, my,
god it hurts!"
why why why
wasn't it worse?
i could've died, died, died,
gone home in a hearse.
and my poor old mother
would be lost for words.
.
.
.
i thought the medicine would work.
.
not a single one checks on me now.
scarce see a post
of mine as they browse
they'll send a text
"you still around?"
i beg of you, come hold me now,
.
but you won't, you have a point
in the morning, work
or just had a joint
and you don't feel like you can drive
but i want to die
don't let me die.
please give a call
and say my name
please rub my chest,
"it won't be the same"
tell me it'll change
tell me it'll change
i've gone insane
i've gone insane.
i don't need love
i just need care
one single comebody there
to kiss my cheek
to pet my hair
and say they swear
i'll be safe, there, thare.
god, bless you
fuck you
i love you,
i envy you
normal people.
Yes.
I dig it man. Keep it coming.