32 votes

I'm looking for a spicy wasabi snack that will kick my ass and make me regret eating it

A few years ago, I got my hands on a bottle of St. Elmo Cocktail Sauce. When I tried it for the first time, it had so much horseradish that for a moment, I thought I was going to die.

Fast-forward three seconds later, and I was eagerly repeating the experience over and over and over again. I could not get enough of it. It was like it was kicking my sinuses in the testicles and slapping my tastebuds in the face. I became addicted.

It changed my life.

The problem with cocktail sauce though, is there's only a few occasions you can reliably snack on it. I want something I can take with me on the go. I want a snack that grabs me by the shoulders and says "WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE."

I've tried various wasabi peas and smoked wasabi almonds. Horseradish potato chips (or crisps, if you'd rather) and pretzels. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, provides the puckered face, lose-your-balance experience I'm looking for. The only way I've gotten close is by putting handfuls of dried wasabi peas in my mouth at a time, and that folks, is just not sustainable.

And so, I come to you with my plea: I want pure, concentrated doses of horseradish/wasabi on some sort of crunchy, long-lasting snack vehicle. Yes, I have a problem, and yes I want you to enable me.

Any recommendations?

30 comments

  1. [7]
    BeanBurrito
    Link
    Well, that is cheaper than hiring a dominatrix.
    • Exemplary

    Well, that is cheaper than hiring a dominatrix.

    59 votes
    1. em-dash
      Link Parent
      Once in a while I realize that there is some aspect of other people's lives that I have literally zero idea about. For example, how much does a dominatrix cost? (edit: hundreds of dollars per...

      Once in a while I realize that there is some aspect of other people's lives that I have literally zero idea about.

      For example, how much does a dominatrix cost?

      (edit: hundreds of dollars per hour, it seems)

      8 votes
    2. [2]
      BashCrandiboot
      Link Parent
      Dominatrix? Never heard of it. Do they sell that at gas stations?

      Dominatrix? Never heard of it. Do they sell that at gas stations?

      3 votes
      1. tomf
        Link Parent
        some gas stations and truck stops have something similar

        some gas stations and truck stops have something similar

        2 votes
    3. [3]
      tanglisha
      Link Parent
      I'm convinced that people who enjoy spicy food get an adrenalin rush from it. Same for runners.

      I'm convinced that people who enjoy spicy food get an adrenalin rush from it. Same for runners.

      1. [2]
        Weldawadyathink
        Link Parent
        I can’t speak for spicy food, but running has a lot of research to support it. Running releases endorphins, which is a shortening of endogenous morphine. It isn’t the exact same chemical as...

        I can’t speak for spicy food, but running has a lot of research to support it. Running releases endorphins, which is a shortening of endogenous morphine. It isn’t the exact same chemical as morphine, but it stimulates the exact same receptors in the body that morphine does.

        Wikipedia source

        1 vote
        1. sparksbet
          Link Parent
          ...it is noteworthy, however, that adrenalin rush =/= endorphins. Adrenaline serves a very different purpose from endorphins.

          ...it is noteworthy, however, that adrenalin rush =/= endorphins. Adrenaline serves a very different purpose from endorphins.

          1 vote
  2. [2]
    Pavouk106
    Link
    I'm not native English speaker and I had trouble finding the right word - you will get it when I get there. Back in the days I have watched Jackass and they did some crazy shit. One of the thing...

    I'm not native English speaker and I had trouble finding the right word - you will get it when I get there.

    Back in the days I have watched Jackass and they did some crazy shit. One of the thing they tried was to snort/snuff/sniff wasabi. I have never tried that but I believe it will kick ass.

    13 votes
    1. Foreigner
      Link Parent
      Is the word "masochist"?

      Is the word "masochist"?

      13 votes
  3. [3]
    Lev
    Link
    So this doesn't respond to your question, but I once attended a Passover seder where the hosts billed their horseradish as "the hottest ever." A little spice doesn't scare me and I've eaten a lot...

    So this doesn't respond to your question, but I once attended a Passover seder where the hosts billed their horseradish as "the hottest ever." A little spice doesn't scare me and I've eaten a lot of horseradish in my life, so I took a courageous spoonful and ate it as part of a hillel sandwich. What a mistake!

    This horseradish was so spicy that I thought I was having a health emergency for about 30 seconds after consumption. I didn't stop sweating for an hour. Around dessert, my aunt asked me if I was feeling well because I was so red in the face. I found a mirror and sure enough, my entire face and neck were bright firetruck red. This was three hours after eating the horseradish! Even more unbelievably, when I woke up the next morning, I was STILL RED! It took a full 24 hours to fade completely.

    I looked around for the brand online, and it doesn't seem to have much presence. The only reviewers I can find talk about how they vomited from the heat. Check it out here.

    12 votes
    1. BashCrandiboot
      Link Parent
      Now we're talking. I might have a youtube series on my hands with all the great recs I've gotten from this thread.

      Now we're talking. I might have a youtube series on my hands with all the great recs I've gotten from this thread.

    2. Markpelly
      Link Parent
      I love me some horseradish, mmmm

      I love me some horseradish, mmmm

  4. [3]
    Min58Out
    Link
    I don't know that this is going to QUITE give you that experience (which, props to you, I'm way too much of a wimp) but I'm obsessed with the Blue Diamond Wasabi and Soy Sauce Almonds.

    I don't know that this is going to QUITE give you that experience (which, props to you, I'm way too much of a wimp) but I'm obsessed with the Blue Diamond Wasabi and Soy Sauce Almonds.

    10 votes
    1. BashCrandiboot
      Link Parent
      I just bought a bag of those for the first time the other day and I agree, they are delicious. They don't quite provide the kick in the nuts I'm lookong for, but they have earned their place in my...

      I just bought a bag of those for the first time the other day and I agree, they are delicious. They don't quite provide the kick in the nuts I'm lookong for, but they have earned their place in my cupboard for sure.

      2 votes
    2. Oxalis
      Link Parent
      I came into this post looking to see what OP was wanting out their near death experience with heat but I ended up finding my favorite new snack. I got a bag from my local pharmacy and they're...

      I came into this post looking to see what OP was wanting out their near death experience with heat but I ended up finding my favorite new snack.

      I got a bag from my local pharmacy and they're delicious. Thanks for the recommendation!

  5. [2]
    hammurobbie
    Link
    All right, do yourself a favor and find somewhere to get Atomic horseradish. They mostly sell to restaurants, but you can find it online sometimes. Spread that stuff on everything. For snacking,...

    All right, do yourself a favor and find somewhere to get Atomic horseradish. They mostly sell to restaurants, but you can find it online sometimes. Spread that stuff on everything.

    For snacking, the most reliable food for excellent spice blends and intensity is jerky. Find a wasabi ginger jerky, and you'll probably be in heaven. If you can't find any, make it yourself. Recipes are easy to find, variations are endless.

    10 votes
    1. BashCrandiboot
      Link Parent
      Jerky is a great idea. I have a dehydrator and a couple smokers. I'm gonna give that a shot!

      Jerky is a great idea. I have a dehydrator and a couple smokers. I'm gonna give that a shot!

  6. [2]
    patience_limited
    Link
    You can get horseradish root and grind it fresh for the experience you miss. Great as a condiment with rare roast beef, in vegetable dipping sauces and cocktail sauce, spicy mayo, etc. It's easy...

    You can get horseradish root and grind it fresh for the experience you miss. Great as a condiment with rare roast beef, in vegetable dipping sauces and cocktail sauce, spicy mayo, etc. It's easy to grow in temperate climates if you have about a square meter to devote to each plant. There's no way to preserve the spiciness or powder it for use on snacks, though - best bet is to make a dip.

    Genuine wasabi is tricky to get hold of or cultivate. You can get the real thing here. Wasabi paste is best prepared and used immediately - most of what's sold as wasabi-flavored is made with mustard powder and green food coloring. I'm not sure how you'd use it on crunchy snacks - maybe dust with powder and consume promptly.

    5 votes
    1. zipf_slaw
      Link Parent
      I highly suggest not planting it in the ground, but rather in a container that has no drain holes or is on concrete or something. Like mint, horseradish likes to jump ship and quickly becomes...

      [Horseradish is] easy to grow in temperate climates if you have about a square meter to devote to each plant.

      I highly suggest not planting it in the ground, but rather in a container that has no drain holes or is on concrete or something. Like mint, horseradish likes to jump ship and quickly becomes invasive and very very hard to get rid of.

      9 votes
  7. [2]
    ChingShih
    Link
    There's a wasabi sauce by Kikkoman that I think you'll be interested in. I've been finding it for around $3 a bottle (it's not big) and put it on everything. Vegetables, rice, meats, and of course...

    There's a wasabi sauce by Kikkoman that I think you'll be interested in. I've been finding it for around $3 a bottle (it's not big) and put it on everything. Vegetables, rice, meats, and of course as a condiment for hot dogs and burgers. Plus it comes in a squeeze bottle so I guess you can take it with you.

    It's a bit sweet at first and then has that wasabi kick. The more wasabi, the more your sinuses will feel it. It's thicker than a cocktail sauce, perfect for use as a condiment, but works for dipping. I'm not sure what kinds of snacks it might be good on, as I'm not a culinary person, but you can have a lot of fun with it.

    5 votes
    1. BashCrandiboot
      Link Parent
      Oh yeah, this looks promising. I'm hoping its "put that shit on everything" level.

      Oh yeah, this looks promising. I'm hoping its "put that shit on everything" level.

      2 votes
  8. [3]
    Notcoffeetable
    Link
    Not a snack, but if you're less concerned about eating something and just want the experience of "kicking your sinuses in the testicles." You could look at smelling salts/ammonia used by lifters....

    Not a snack, but if you're less concerned about eating something and just want the experience of "kicking your sinuses in the testicles." You could look at smelling salts/ammonia used by lifters. There are several brands available (I buy Obsidian Ammonia) with varying intensities. But it's used for a reason: wakes you the hell up.

    5 votes
    1. [2]
      Kale
      Link Parent
      As someone who very rarely has to use these on patients at work…. This comment right here made my toes curl. Like, I understand wanting to feel the spice of life but good god even just cracking...

      As someone who very rarely has to use these on patients at work…. This comment right here made my toes curl.

      Like, I understand wanting to feel the spice of life but good god even just cracking one open makes my eyelids feel like they’re going to peel. I don’t even think it triggers an endorphin rush like hot sauce would (at least for me). It’s just pure unadulterated noxious stimuli.

      What kinda occasion calls for the ammonia salts?? Do you have a secret to living life I don’t know about?

      4 votes
      1. Notcoffeetable
        Link Parent
        They're commonly used in strength sports, weightlifting, powerlifting, and strongman just before maximal and near maximal attempts. There's no quantifiable benefit and I personally use them very...

        They're commonly used in strength sports, weightlifting, powerlifting, and strongman just before maximal and near maximal attempts.

        There's no quantifiable benefit and I personally use them very rarely. But their use is essentially ritual for a lot of competitors.

        4 votes
  9. [4]
    trim
    Link
    Can't you put loads of wasabi on California style rolls? That's how I usually experience my wasabi. I use rice, nori, cucumber, peppers and pickled ginger. And the wasabi paste of course. I make a...

    Can't you put loads of wasabi on California style rolls? That's how I usually experience my wasabi.

    I use rice, nori, cucumber, peppers and pickled ginger. And the wasabi paste of course.

    I make a set of 8 and take them out in a little tupperware box for snacking

    4 votes
    1. [3]
      BashCrandiboot
      Link Parent
      I've never tried to make rolls like that before. Is it pretty easy? Seems like a pretty healthy snack too, and I love ginger.

      I've never tried to make rolls like that before. Is it pretty easy? Seems like a pretty healthy snack too, and I love ginger.

      1. trim
        Link Parent
        Not going to lie, took me some practice cooking the rice just so, and rolling them , but I can do it easily now. I started with a sushi rolling kit from Amazon of which there are an ungodly number.

        Not going to lie, took me some practice cooking the rice just so, and rolling them , but I can do it easily now. I started with a sushi rolling kit from Amazon of which there are an ungodly number.

        1 vote
      2. Akir
        Link Parent
        Rolling sushi is pretty easy to do, but I would recommend starting with a more traditional style first with the nori on the outside because it’s easier to pull off.

        Rolling sushi is pretty easy to do, but I would recommend starting with a more traditional style first with the nori on the outside because it’s easier to pull off.

        1 vote
  10. tomf
    Link
    most of my horseradish consumption is with oysters. If you want it to hit hard, grate it fresh.

    most of my horseradish consumption is with oysters. If you want it to hit hard, grate it fresh.

    2 votes
  11. Tigress
    Link
    Well if you lived in Washington I’d tell you to order bitty fish sushi to go and order extra wasabi packs. Their wasabi packs pack a huge punch (but only the packs they give you to go, they give...

    Well if you lived in Washington I’d tell you to order bitty fish sushi to go and order extra wasabi packs. Their wasabi packs pack a huge punch (but only the packs they give you to go, they give normal wasabi in the restaurant). Put it this way, I usually slather wasabi on my sushi but I have to be careful and put a tiny dot when I use their packs or I will regret it. A 5 gram pouch lasts me my whole sushi order (when usually I have to ask to big globs of wasabi).

    The website on the packet is : www.minghongfood.com and it says it is distributed by Tokyo nori USA

    If you go to the website it’s their mini wasabi pack 5gram specifically.

    1 vote