Daily coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - April 12

Welp, after a year together, the girlfriend and I broke up. She was supposed to move in with me last Wednesday for the remainder of the lockdown; that did not happen because her mom is now forbidding her from seeing me altogether. (This is the same mom who's getting groceries every 2-3 days and who yesterday went to see her 88 years old grandmother because "it's easter" — be consistent…).

I'm 29, she's 24, and for the past few weeks I've felt like I'm dating a teenager.

In hindsight, it wasn't going to work long-term either way. She has undiagnosed ADHD that her mother is refusing to do anything about, which has put a massive strain on the relation… and now, without being able to see her, I've exhausted my mental capacity to accept a lot of the awful behaviour I usually let go.

I find that the pandemic and the lockdowns have exaggerated people's traits, both the kind and the selfish ones. I've been heartwarmed by some and appalled by others, but none shocked me more than this.

I feel utterly drained right now. I've lost two people to the virus, now my girlfriend as well. I'm trying to tell myself it could be worse, and really all I want right now is to stop thinking about it.

Also there's helicopters flying around my neighbourhood for the past day. They were there yesterday from midnight until 2am, and they're back now (it's 10pm). I don't know wtf they're doing.

Not related to the virus directly, but it was Easter Sunday and my dog got into a whole basket full of Easter Kisses, with the foil still on it. Despite her best efforts, she's still alive and appears to be no worse from wear after vomiting it all up, and will likely outlive us all.

Edit: Also excavating my room for junk, because Mom's talking to a social worker to see about options for her Mom, either to move her in with us in my room or better accommodate her in assisted living. I'm working on a telepresence system, (an Echo Show) but Mom's gonna Mom and I have been looking to clean up anyway.

I have been noticing some minor mental health issues as a result of the lockdown. The low point came on Saturday when I was reading an ordinary news article about how businesses are pivoting to survive, and came to a section about a florist who's now selling more greeting cards, which people are using to send personal messages - and the most common type of message is about missing a hug from their loved one. The article went on to mention that psychologists have a phrase for this - "skin hunger" - and I had a literal physical reaction to that sentence. I had to get up, walk away from the computer, and calm down. That hit me totally out of the blue.

I thought I was prepared and ready and coping with all the side effects of this lockdown. And, mostly, I am dealing with it quite well. Overall, my life in lockdown is comfortable: secure job, working from home, stable income, keeping mentally active, and so on. I'm in a fortunate situation for these circumstances, and I'm very appreciative of that. Also, I've gone back to doing some mindfulness exercises that I was using for other problems a few years ago, which is helping.

However, I hadn't realised just how much I'm missing simple physical contact. Not sex. Not intimacy. Just a small thing like hugs. We take these things for granted until they're gone.

On a lighter note... I made a thing! I joined the trend of doing jigsaws. This is my first-ever attempt (since childhood). It took me about 5-6 hours over a couple of weeks.

People say doing jigsaws is meditative and calming. They're right. It's a great way to reduce stress while keeping the mind active.

I am very close to having a workable sourdough starter, born from nothing but flour, water, and natural yeast collected outside. I've been feeding it twice-daily for the past few days, and it now has vigorous bubbles, with a definite fruity, alcohol aroma; now, I simply await for it to achieve a doubling in volume every day. Then, I shall name it.

First order of business will be making a quintessential sourdough pizza with mozzarella, tomato sauce, and fresh basil.

Along with jigsaw puzzles and video chats, I am not the only one making sourdough starter—but it feels a lot like an introvert's world at the moment, and even for me, a self-described introvert, it's becoming a bit much.

I haven't been paragliding in months; I've had my international trips turned into staycations, and I can't even buy some nice beakers to store my sourdough starter in.