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Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (January 2026)
This is a monthly thread for those who need it. Vent, share your experiences, ask for advice, talk about how you are doing. Let's make this a compassionate space for all who may need one.
I honestly have no fucking clue what I'm doing with my life at this point. I think I need to sell my vehicle, my laptop, etc. Anything of value. Anyone want to buy 64gb of DDR4? I think that might me my most valuable possession at this point.
I've come so far, from being homeless three years ago, to having a driver's license, a credit card, etc, and now I'm about to be destitute again.
This whole system sucks, man. I was told if you work hard and save you're guaranteed to succeed in life. Here I am blowing all my savings paying for an empty room that no one will rent, and despite my skills I can't find a fucking job that can pay for my mediocre falling-apart house. Fuck this. I'm so sick of it. I just want to go back to living on the streets, panhandling for money for alcohol and tobacco and cannabis.
I'll bet that lifestyle has gotten worse too. No one carries cash anymore, so asking for spare change as my retirement plan isn't even an option anymore. You're going to have to set up a gofundme and lose 30% to payment fees. Homeless panhandlers now need tap to pay. Fuck this life. Honestly, fuck this whole year. I'm so fucking sick of it.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Hey, I'm late to this thread because I'm trying to be more wary of opening up on the internet, but I peeked here today and just wanted to reply to you. Maybe it's helpful or maybe it's totally useless, but I can't not.
A year ago I felt very much like you. Like you, I I came back (in 2009-ish, so a long time ago) from a two year stint as a homeless drug addict. I built my life up, got degrees and a good job, and eventually married and a kid and a house. Somehow though, for several years recently, my financial stability sunk month over month. Default on credit card and some personal loans. Electricity getting switched off. Generally miserable. I was working and making what I thought was enough money, but it all just vanished into the million open hands clammering 24/7.
Well, last summer I caught my wife cheating on me. I was devistated, but after a few weeks some silver linings started to shimmer. For the first time in years last August I finished a month without a negative checking account balance. And that pattern continued. And I started getting my debts sorted out. Now I still have a long way to go, but everything is moving in the right direction. I love my wife. I haven't divorced her. I have no idea what the longterm holds for us, but right now she's a much much smaller part of my world than since before we met. What I've realized is that god damn near all of the shit that was wrecking my life stopped getting worse and started getting much better the day I stopped trying to be a perfect partner for her.
I guess what I'm saying is that yeah, a lot of the shit you're staring at is awful, but folks who've been around like us know it doesn't need to stay that way. If you haven't considered it yet, take a minute to ask yourself if there is a person or people in your life who are hurting you. If there are such people, at least experiment with distancing yourself from them to see if things get better.
Don't let other people keep you feeling trapped. I'm not saying it's what you are dealing with -- I have no idea. But I never would have considered it myself, and now I see it clear as day.
Hey, thanks for your supportive words. It's really not anyone in my life that's negative. It's just, I spent 8 months looking for a job, found one, got laid off within 2 months. Now I need to find another one, except my unemployment benefits have run out. So now I need to find a new job, this time with zero income.
3 months ago my roommate moved out unexpectedly, and I've been trying to rent his room ever since. It's been a shitshow though, since people on facebook marketplace have been flaky as shit. I've collected two damage deposits, signed papers, etc, only to have people bail out at the last minute. So, last month I had to pay $2500 to rent the entire house by myself. Bills are coming up and I have the choice of paying them or eating food. I've got a friend who can probably help me out with rent for next month, but not the full $2500.
So basically I have fucking clue what I'm going to do. It's either I sell my car for a couple months rent or I move into it and idk, try and sell all my stuff, abandon what I can't sell or fit with me in my vehicle.
My stress and frustration is entirely financial and has nothing to do with other people.
It's chipping away at my sanity and I'm struggling not to let depression take over, but I haven't given up yet.
That does all sound really rough.
As a rule I've learned that selling stuff, especially important things, to temporarily cover a recurring cost really isn't wise. If I were in your shoes I'd sell lots of other things before my car, because a car can be a real lifeline for finding work.
I'm sure it's not a fun idea, but I'd be looking for non-career temp jobs. Something like retail or food service. Those industries are always hiring, and having some income can give you room to breathe and time to plan and find your next serious gig.
Another thought is that, depending on your credit, it may be possible to take out some kind of loan, either borrowing directly as a personal loan or against equity in some higher value asset like a house or a car. This could be a good alternative to selling the car if things are truly dire.
This stuff does chip away at sanity, for sure. Can I ask where you're located and what kind of work you're looking for?
I don't even know where to begin or what to really say.. 2025 was awful but I'm still alive.
❤️
I thought things were going better. But partner's pain pump isn't working, it was supposed to be fixed Monday but he was on antibiotics so now we wait til the 5th. I'm out of town on the 5th.
But his son is staying. And he's out of oral meds. And his son isn't staying. And we don't have a PA. And IDK if he'll be able to do the cat's insulin. And if the pain pump is fully broken he'll need surgery.
Fuck me. I feel so selfish for wanting to go on this work trip - it's technically for my professional org. It's once a year. We're hosting "Christmas" tomorrow and I fly out Sunday. Why the fuck can't I have two days off without having to panic and stress. I've been physically hurting for the past 3 days and I don't know what to do. We can't win.
I'm a mess.
I'm on my trip. Trying not to just be anxiety the whole time I'm here. Things will be fine. They'll be ok. Probably.
I'm really sorry you're still dealing with this amount and intensity of stress-inducing situations for no fault of your own. :\ Rationally you most likely already know this but: it is not selfish for wanting to go on a trip, your situation is natural to want to have a break from. That doesn't mean you don't desire to help those you loved, it means you also want to take care of yourself.
Take care. 🫂
Thanks, I do know and also it feels so irresponsible to be here. And yet it's also a responsibility to be here.
I just want to know why I can't get a break honestly. It's just so fucking unfair. And so many people have it worse than I do, I just start to wonder if in fact I should believe in karma or something and I'm atoning for something because there'd at least be sense to it all then.
I get that, and have often felt the same in situations in the past. Accepting that the Universe is only fair in its unfairness also takes effort. Our brains love to try to make sense out of things even if you know it 'just is'.
Sometimes I wish I could believe in karma though, given, well... vaguely gestures at the world on fire
sigh
I've come to accept I will never operate a motorized vehicle. I will never swim. I will never do a bunch of those multitasking actions because I am limited. I was born with it and no amount of trying and hard work will fix something that wasn't broken in the first place. I'd just be torturing myself. It's difficult to accept that failure as a core part of oneself, but this what I am. For all the guys struggling with xxy, some of us may look unaffected, but we still carry that burden in many different ways.
I was born hard of hearing and one of the things i try to focus on is how good im doing despite my hearing loss. That helps me a lot
My state told as a tildematian:
But! I also know that this is winter and dark, not my best time.
I feel trapped by my daughter, who keeps having crisis after crisis. I feel needed, that is amazing, but also trapped. I thought I was going to be able to finally start deciding for myself.
I know... I decide, but also I don't. I'm also dragged, pulled, slapped & pushed around by circumstances. This is hard to think about.
I'm slowly coming to terms with that my life won't be neat, that somethings are still worth doing even after failing to do them 234 times in a row. That I don't have the discipline or willpower to keep at it, to do what's good for me (or at least what I've decided is good for me).
I'm convinced it is useful to write stuff down and to keep notes about my life and goals and difficulties. It's just so damn hard to actually write it down and to revise the notes.
I'm so bored, but the boredom is also like a shield between me and myself. Like now I'm going to stop writing because I'm bored, but there are interesting things that I could examine but they are not so clear or something so I get overwhelmed by boredom and I don't see how to push through. That is also something: I don't think I have ever pushed through, I'm always giving up. Blargh!
For the record, this is a thought I have only ever had when I'm suicidal.
Passive suicidal ideation is a thing and it feels for me very similar to what you describe. It's less immediately dangerous than active suicidal ideation but I do recommend talking to a trusted professional about it if you have one. If it gets more acute, find someone to talk to in the moment immediately and be willing to just be forthright about your feelings -- reaching out for help won't solve any underlying issues but it has been what pulls me back from utter despair before. Maybe this is all very obvious advice to you, but it's stuff I only recently did during a very-much-not-my-first episode of suicidal thoughts like this earlier in December.
For me these feelings are very affected by circumstance, both my immediate stressors as well as things like the amount of daylight (winter darkness really hits me hard). Whether or not this is true for you, I hope both your circumstances and your mood improve.
@fnulare I just want to cosign sparks in that talking to someone now can help you get through the fog of ennui, passive ideation and emotional and physical exhaustion. At the very least it can help you figure out some of the surrounding things you're describing.
It's ok to not plow a new path through the waist deep snow and have someone break the path for you, even just occasionally to give you a rest.
(Also @sparksbet)
Thanks for taking the time and energy to care about and reply to me. I see you! And I do also understand this is a public forum so I know both your comments are also for others that read here. You both write important things.
For me though, you needn't worry, I will not die of suicide. I just wantednto try and answer the question of the topic as truthfully as I could at the time.
With that out of the way I a few things to add...
We got loads of snow, the world is shiny and bright! This is very good for me, I don't do well when it's dark or rather I get a bit hibernaty and ponderous and it can get quite dark as seen in my original comment.
We are now back to the normal life cycle with all the christmas, family, new years, fun, family, togetherness, christmas terror out of the way, this is soothing.
I should get a therapist or something but I won't because:
A. I just got dumped by the one I was seeing so I feel a bit hopeless about it.
B. I unexpectedly got dragged into first in line to do my ADHD and autism assessment.
So I'll wait for B to get done while also let time heal a bit of A before I figure out my next mental-health-progress-with-a-professional.
I have a long history of depression, existential dread and passive-suicidal-ideation, I have reached out for help from time to time for the last ~35 but it always ends up as "too well for psych ward or other specialised help but too bad for general population while also functioning enough so... no help for you!". I'm not worried I will die of suicide. For me it has been a comfort but also a way to not do/change things since there is always that option. I've had a good run of 15years where suicide was taken off the table and I made good progress in that time... but now unfortunately it is back. I know I will have to deal with it, and your comments are good reminders, but I won't do it know.
In the end I have to figure out how to live without meaning or succumb to always stay a helper that only derives meaning from saving others. (I understand there are other options, I just don't see them, but thus might be a point of entry if you'd like to engage)
I'm glad you made it up the list for the ADHD/autism assessment! Taking my ADHD medication consistently has been one of the most important steps for improving my mood, so I hope it benefits you. I see a lot I relate to in this post for sure. Best of luck weathering these ups and downs.
Thank you <3
Fwiw my care and concern is not just about your risk of dying by suicide. I hope very much that you're able to, via whatever method, find the light in the darkness in both the literal and metaphorical senses.
Thank you, so do I :)
I have this theory about this. In the last 100 years as a species we basically conquered survival. The problem is that while this sounds good. It has resulted in a huge void of purpose that we have zero social frameworks for dealing with. Psychopaths use it to ravage/hoard/exploit anything that is not bolted down. The average person is finding themselves more and more at the mercy of people that for the most part would have died in battle long ago in the past leaving a handful of troublemakers rather than making them a significant influence on the direction of society. The violence is gone but their bottomless appetites have not simply gone away.
I agree on the effect, not sure on the cause, takes at least a ponder or two!
But I know that I'm happiest when the dailies need consideration, time and labour... Like if you have to make a fire to cook, or get water from a well, etc, etc
My New Year's Eve actually went really well, which is shocking given the last few years.
I finally got to celebrate with a karaoke night without something going wrong. No homewrecker guilt-tripping me into changing my plans because they wanted to split apart my buddy's relationship, no stress of a family member being hospitalized, no drunk driver t-boning my friend's car in the parking lot, no pub landlord cancelling the karaoke part of the event just an hour in because he wanted a disco instead.
Others didn't have it so well. A lot of people I knew had friends pass away on/near NYE. My ex-girlfriend's father had a heart attack and his prognosis isn't looking good. And unfortunately that's turned into an uncomfortable conversation about inheritance where I'm worried her mum is going to do everything in her power to deny her any money.
I dunno what I'm going to do for 2026. I have another month to go until this temp job (finally) comes to an end. If they offer me a perm role I do not intend to take it. That job and all the (at home and commute-related) bullshit that has come alongside it has fucked with me physically and mentally.
I have a meeting with a recruitment consultant on Monday, but I feel like this is going to be another professional timewaster who will just bombard me with questions she would have found out if she just spent two minutes reading my CV, who will then tell me she has no positions available. I've thought about changing professions or starting a side-hustle because screw the accountancy profession and screw generative AI taking all our jobs, but I don't know what.
I'm kinda wound up and frayed on nothing in particular, like a river of dread is running through my mind and when I try to solve whatever problem I'm fixated on, it doesn't really solve the dread, it just diverts the river and moves to the next thing out of place. I'm honestly in a rather comfortable situation right now if I'd let myself be, but I know how this game works and I gotta let all this panic energy out of my system before I can soberly take stock of my situation. I have a health check in next week, it will probably come up and we'll see if the new work insurance covers psych therapy this time.
The last few weeks have been awful. I started doing okay, personally, as my health is finally under control, but now Minneapolis is being invaded by fascists. They’re going door to door and it’s far worse than any news outlet will report. Our community is together, we’re supporting each other, but it still really, really sucks. It keeps getting worse every day and I genuinely don’t know how to plan my future now, if I should stay and continue to fight back, or if I should start planning on moving to another country, which besides being a toooon of work, I’d be away from all of my family and friends.
Back at work after a camp I've been at between Christmas and new years, where I usually turn internet off. This does wonders for my mental health - and now I needed it especially.
Not just due to the state of the world, but also the events last summer - some of you may remember, I basically developed the kind of unconditional self-love one only gets in early childhood. This led to some titanic collisions in my own head. Leading to me processing what would normally take years in a couple of weeks.
Which sounds really nice - and the end result is amazing! - but tiredness catches up with you. When I arrived at camp, rather than doing the usual participating with all sorts of boardgames my body when ploof nearly immediately. That bad. The processing + accepting some things about my family + holding on to a crush for a long time until we'll meet in about a month has been stressful.
I'm thinking of doing something like mindfulness daily now. Because it's clear I spend a long time plowing through, and that was a good thing. But this kind of tiredness can creep up to you more sneakingly than I expected.
So. As said elsewhere, I ended up basically having a confirmation that my crush doesn't feel the same way. Because there was no chance they wouldn't notice, I had to confess.
There were some complications in our bond that made this very risky. Fortunately, they reacted well, with more kindness than I could have asked for.
We'll have to figure out how much contact is possible of course. I don't want to delve in the details both for privacy and my own vulnerabilities I have not yet processed properly.
I feel both terrible, as well as incredibly relieved. Things could have ended faaaar more ugly due to the complications.
But grief? Grief is never easy. The radical self-love I've gained makes this less hard, but it is always hard.
My psychiatrist surprised me today by talking to me about autism. About three years ago I did believe I might be autistic and sought professional advice. Unfortunately I didn't have the funds to pay for a full evaluation by professionals, so I went to a project in our local university. I was evaluated by a student and it took only three sessions instead of the regular 12. The autism assesment was negative and I didn't took it as definitive back then and neither did my psychiatrist. I forgot about it completely and had no wish to pursue a diganosis.
Today my doctor surprised me by saying that he studied autism in adults more thorougly last year and that, after consulting with my psychotherapist, they are both positive that I am autistic. My doctor's appointment lasted about 90 minutes today only because of that (my mental issues are mostly in maintenaince mode, there's no reason for me to be there more than 45 minutes).
I had a session with my psychotherapist right after that. She didn't have lots of advice but was clearly trying to convey that business should go as usual, there is no reason for panic, "autism" is just word, etc. I told my wife, she seems to think it's cute? I am overwhelmed. How can I integrate that information into decisions I made recently and others I am making now? What a fuck a 43-year-old does when they "become" autistic?
Please let me know when you figure it out!
I'm almost 50 and I'm starting my assessment in a month and they seemed pretty sure after the mini-assessment that gets you in the door but we'll see ;)
I don't know. I'm thinking of starting a collection of model trains.,
(just kidding :P)