17 votes

Pansexuality 101: Five key facts you need to know

8 comments

  1. [8]
    StevieSamoyed
    Link
    Am Pansexual, enjoyed this article. Opening my comments for AMA if anyone has questions I can help answer. :)

    Am Pansexual, enjoyed this article.

    Opening my comments for AMA if anyone has questions I can help answer. :)

    5 votes
    1. [7]
      kfwyre
      Link Parent
      Thanks for your willingness to share! What was your process of self-discovery like? How did you come to know that you were pansexual? Given that this is quite a personal question don't feel...

      Thanks for your willingness to share!

      What was your process of self-discovery like? How did you come to know that you were pansexual? Given that this is quite a personal question don't feel obligated to answer it, or share only what you're comfortable with.

      Also, I've witnessed some friction lately centered on the purview of "pansexuality" vs. "bisexuality" as terms (this is hinted at in the linked article). Some people seem to argue that bisexuality as an identity upholds the gender binary and can be exclusionary towards trans and non-binary identified people, while others believe this is an uncharitable interpretation of bisexuality and that the term has always been used by some people who have been attracted across the gender spectrum (even if it isn't distinctly reflected in the word's structure). Do you have thoughts, opinions, or experiences regarding this?

      4 votes
      1. [5]
        sonamtashi
        Link Parent
        As a bisexual person, I'll respond to that part. The article addresses this pretty well in my opinion: To me, they're basically the same thing, so it largely falls to the individual I guess...

        As a bisexual person, I'll respond to that part. The article addresses this pretty well in my opinion:

        bisexuality isn’t inherently binary. Bisexual people are attracted to people of both the same gender and different genders from their own. There’s even the emerging term bi+, which makes it more explicit that the term isn’t limited by binary definitions of gender and sexuality. Many people use both pansexual and bisexual to describe themselves, depending on the context.

        To me, they're basically the same thing, so it largely falls to the individual I guess whether they identify as one, the other, or both. Frankly, it is a failing of dictionaries when they define bisexuality as binary, as the bisexual community has defined the term as nonbinary for decades. Also, I've encountered plenty of trans and non-binary individuals who identified as bi, so honestly defining bi as exclusionary and anti-trans doesn't make any sense.

        5 votes
        1. tildesatwindmills
          Link Parent
          I often use "pan/bi" or "bi (pan)" when explaining my sexuality in writing because many people my age (mid 40s) don't know the meaning of pansexual... but they get "bi". Code switching and knowing...

          I often use "pan/bi" or "bi (pan)" when explaining my sexuality in writing because many people my age (mid 40s) don't know the meaning of pansexual... but they get "bi". Code switching and knowing your audience, I guess!

          Everyone has already covered where I am on this, I'm pan because I am attracted to people first and those who are gender unusual tend to make it even stronger.

          3 votes
        2. Tuna
          Link Parent
          I agree with you there. Everybody uses their own interpretation to decide what they define as, which inevitable leads to overlap between those terms. I personally distinct pan and bi, simply by...

          I agree with you there.

          Everybody uses their own interpretation to decide what they define as, which inevitable leads to overlap between those terms.

          I personally distinct pan and bi, simply by the level of attraction. While the pan-person is attracted to people regardless of gender, the bi person has certain preferences, which usually fluctuate depending on the mood (sometimes known as "the bicycle").

          2 votes
        3. noah
          Link Parent
          Do you think that if the term Pansexual would have been more popular than Bisexual (which definitely seemed to be in more people's vocabularies, at least from what I remember growing up), we would...

          Do you think that if the term Pansexual would have been more popular than Bisexual (which definitely seemed to be in more people's vocabularies, at least from what I remember growing up), we would still have a need for the "Bi-" prefix, or if they are largely seen as relatively similar/equal, we could have all just stuck with "Pan-"? It seems to me like "Bi-" is more likely to cause issues/"trigger" people who are more vocal about not excluding those who don't fit into traditional gender roles.

          2 votes
        4. cfabbro
          (edited )
          Link Parent
          Yeah, to me the terms were, and largely still are, basically synonymous. And part of the reason why, at least for me, is because "pansexual" wasn't really a well known or widely used term when I...

          Yeah, to me the terms were, and largely still are, basically synonymous. And part of the reason why, at least for me, is because "pansexual" wasn't really a well known or widely used term when I was growing up and finding myself, even amongst the LGBT+ community here in Toronto. So I have always identified as bisexual even though someone's gender identity has absolutely no effect on my attraction to them. And even now that pansexual has entered the mainstream LGBT+ and "woke person" lexicon, and bisexual has started to take on a more strictly binary meaning with some, the general public still mostly have no idea what pansexual means so it's easier to just say "I'm bisexual" to cis/straight people who I am open with.

          2 votes
      2. Gaywallet
        Link Parent
        Jumping into the fray as well... I've always liked people. Even as a kid when I was beginning to discover my sexuality, I was sexually attracted to people. To put this in context, I'm trans...

        Jumping into the fray as well...

        What was your process of self-discovery like? How did you come to know that you were pansexual?

        I've always liked people. Even as a kid when I was beginning to discover my sexuality, I was sexually attracted to people. To put this in context, I'm trans non-binary, and I've never really understood what "gender" is. I personally view it as a social construct, but I'm not blind to the fact that hormones affect behavior and that male and female society have different rules. But even as a kid I knew girls who were tomboyish and boys who were more feminine so the idea that gender restricted how people acted never sit right with me either.

        "pansexuality" vs. "bisexuality"

        It rarely comes up until you're really deep in queer territory but there's polysexual and omnisexual as well.

        The reality is that most of these terms are interchangeable, however, some people feel strongly about the way it's defined and identify with a specific definition. For example, pansexuality is often described as attraction absent or without gender. I think pansexual more accurately defines how I get attracted to things, because for most people my attraction to them is a combination of their body, how they present that body and how they act. Sure, there are some bodies that are attractive enough to override the other two (I think a good example here is straight people and same sex celebrity crushes), but the same can be said of presentations and how they act.

        However, I also will say yes if someone asks if I'm bisexual, omnisexual or polysexual, because they're not untrue either. I also personally think the bi and pan flags are nicer looking, and which looks better depends on how it's produced - the pan flag works well when the colors are very vibrant and the bi flag works better on metals or when the colors are more muted.

        5 votes