I never talked to anyone in real life about it before yesterday, and even though it was really, really difficult, I'm glad that I pulled through.

I had a meeting with a nurse and a doctor at the psychiatric wing of a hospital, but for other reasons - I have a lot of mental health issues so I keep in touch with them in case I have a breakdown or whatever. That way I won't spiral completely out of control; they can catch me. So anyway, after meeting with said nurse and doctor which was a rather quick meeting, I asked my nurse (who is sorta my contact there) if she had a moment for a one-on-one conversation. She thankfully did and we went to her office. I was pretty anxious all along and once we sat down, I could barely even speak because I kept losing my composure, and my voice was super shaky and I nearly cried.

But I managed to get through it, and told her how I'd seen a short film a couple of days ago that made me burst into tears. How I'd been questioning for years at this point, how I'd always felt out of place and like I was the odd one out. How maybe it's all sorts of things, but perhaps it's because I'm trans.

Not to sound arrogant or anything, but I'm really proud of myself for having the guts to do it. I wouldn't have been able to do that just one year ago. She did say that I was cool/tough for being able to say it out loud and honestly she was the best about it! No judging, no nonsense, no crap. She said all the right things and was really empathetic and understanding despite not at all being qualified for this kind of thing.

So basically what came out of it is that it really felt good to talk to someone face to face. She said she didn't know what to do, but she knew how to find out - which is of course all that I could ask! She's gonna get in touch with a different hospital that has a sexology department (don't know if that's a thing in other countries, I don't know the English name for it sorry). And then she's gonna call me on Monday with her findings!

I still don't know if I'm trans though. I feel like I might be, considering the way I could barely even speak when talking about it out loud. But maybe I'm non-binary too - that's why I'm hoping to get to talk to someone from the sexology clinic. Perhaps they know what questions to ask... I'm also moving in two weeks and I have two exams in that very same week, within 24 hours of one another. But the number one thing on my mind is the above... I think that's pretty telling.

Thank you for reading <3

"Every year the LGBTQ youth support group of The Humsafar Trust, Yaariyan, organizes a flashmob at a prominent location in Mumbai during Queer Azadi Mumbai Pride Month. This year it is extra special because it is the first LGBTQ flashmob after decriminalization of the LGBTQ community."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX2wjjOFL3w

Because sometimes we need a bit of joy in our lives...

We're Here, We're Queer, Ask Your Questions Without Fear

I noticed that there was a lot of QUILTBAG/LGBT related education being requested in threads where it wasn't really on topic. Clearly there's a lot of curiosity. So I thought: why not make a thread specifically for that? Whee!

Please note that it's a lot of labor to ask of someone in a minority to explain themselves, as it's often the case that they feel like they have to justify existing on a daily basis anyway. Hopefully this provides more of an opt-in experience where curious folks can learn about queer issues in a respectful manner. ** Also: No one is required to answer your questions or engage with questions they don't feel comfortable with. **

I am decidedly not an authority on the subject (I don't think anyone really is) but I do fall under the umbrella- NB (nonbinary) and bi. This means that I am attracted to either gender and I do not identify as having a binary gender myself. I actually would more precisely be described as pansexual as I would date a nonbinary person BUT for identity politic reasons I prefer the term bi. As for the acronyms above, LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans. I prefer QUILTBAG: Queer, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Transgender, Bisexual, Asexual, and Gay. It's more fun to say and it expands the acronym to include concepts that folks might not have heard of.

A brief list of definitions:

• Queer: To my understanding this is sort of a catchall term for anyone that is not straight up cisgender/heterosexual. Once considered a pejorative term, queer has been reclaimed by some QUILTBAG people to describe themselves; however, it is not a universally accepted term even within the QUILTBAG community.

• Undecided: Folks who just don't know what they identify with.

• Intersex: Folks born with anatomy that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies. This can be a wide range of natural bodily variations.

• Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women exclusively.

• Transgender: A term to describe folks who do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.

• Bisexual: Folks who are attracted to both binary genders.

• Asexual: Also known as "ace". An adjective to describe folks who do not experience sexual attraction.

• Gay: A term to describe people who are attracted to the gender they identify as. This is often used to refer specifically to men who are attracted to men but can be used to refer to women who are attracted to women too.

This list is by no means exhaustive! Here's a (more) comprehensive list of terms and labels: http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/glossary-sexual-orientationgender-terminology

There are many terms and labels out there! I encourage you to research to your heart's content.

Also just to give some perspective, cisgender is an adjective for folks who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.

So, what nagging questions do you have about being queer? Have you been questioning your own identity and would like to hear the thoughts of people who have been in the same situation? Post here and let's see if we can't find some answers.

They don't have to be anthems in the strict sense of the word. Any type or genre is fair game.

I'm interested in hearing about any songs that helped you connect with or express your identity. It can be something overtly intended to represent LGBT individuals or narratives, or it can simply be something with an abstract theme that resonates with your experiences.

After a let of questioning, I am reasonably sure that I am a transgender girl. But what do I actually do? I'm 18, but I'm still in high-school living with my parents who won't be supportive of me if I come out. I have no consistent income and don't have a therapist. I guess there's no magical answer and I just need to wait until I'm independent and then start thinking about it.