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13 votes
-
The LGBT stars of old Hollywood
6 votes -
Man arrested over 1988 cold case murder of Scott Johnson in Sydney
9 votes -
'Lovers of Modena' skeletal find were both men; researchers quick to reassess their relationship
6 votes -
Meet Syd Sanders, Maine's first transgender high school valedictorian
8 votes -
Lawful Masses on BiNet USA's claims of copyright on the Bi Pride flag
10 votes -
UK man who gave birth to child cannot be named as father on that child's birth certificate
12 votes -
The more complicated attraction layer cake
14 votes -
Polish couple hand out rainbow masks to fight country's LGBTQ-free zones
6 votes -
I wrote a poem - Coming Out 2.0
I'm working on this for a poetry class I'm taking, any criticism is welcome. Edit: Italicized some text I forgot when I copied it out of Word. Edit 2: Fixed some phrasing. Coming Out 2.0 When I...
I'm working on this for a poetry class I'm taking, any criticism is welcome.
Edit: Italicized some text I forgot when I copied it out of Word.
Edit 2: Fixed some phrasing.Coming Out 2.0
When I first came out
I thought it was over.
Done.
I know myself now,
My life can finally be
worthwhile and fun.But there was always a mess I dared
not touch. Who do I like? What gaze
makes me blush? I suspected the feminine
but held out hope – only taking up one letter
made it easier to cope.And some people do change after starting
HRT, so patiently I hoped men would appeal
to me. I had some feelings before, it seemed reasonable
they would grow. But as time went on I realized I had
nothing to show. My feelings for men were entirely gone,
but still hopeful for a straight-passing future, I pressed on.I had definite feelings for women before,
But at times the attraction seemed a bit more –
Did I want to be them or did I want to be with them?
The former I assumed, as it helped to distract,
focus on my work, brush my desires under the mat.I’d think “She looks cute”, but “in that outfit”, “with that hairdo” and other qualifiers
I began to append, convincing myself what I felt was normal and, like a
Chicagoland road, no bend. When I began to notice some feelings bubbling up I said
“Female friendships are close, it’s nothing, the end.” But try as I might, they flowered
and bloomed, and soon I could not help but be all-consumed. Maybe I’m bi, I thought,
That isn’t so bad. More options for dating, how can I be mad? I told my friend my feelings, and as
expected, for me she had none. She’s still one of my best friends, so I’d neither lost nor won.I dealt with the rejection and moved on. I could still be bi, better not
jump the gun. You can’t take back coming out, you’ve got one shot – nail it
and be done. I thought everything would be the same, but the floodgates were open,
my restraints had been broken. I could finally be honest about my feelings
for women (endless, confusing and interwoven) and for men, which were at most
an appreciative token.A week after confessing to my crush, it was obvious
who won. The Sapphic feelings and desires made
their presence known, their intent to stay,
and more difficult than coming out
as trans was admitting
to being gay.15 votes -
Phyllis Lyon, LGBTQ rights pioneer, dies at age 95
6 votes -
FDA relaxes blood donation guidelines for gay men and others
8 votes -
With the UK on coronavirus lockdown, some young people have been forced to isolate alongside parents who don't accept their sexuality
12 votes -
Päivi Räsänen is facing new police investigations for citing Bible verses on social media to object to the Lutheran church's participation in an LGBT pride event
4 votes -
Meet the transgender wrestling champion
2 votes -
A new interactive map visualizes the queer geography of 20th-century America
7 votes -
Juno Dawson: “Why I’m no longer debating trans rights”
12 votes -
Blued, one of the biggest gay dating apps in the world, has succeeded because it plays by the ever-shifting rules for LGBTQ in China - bringing together a minority community without activism
12 votes -
"We Didn't Start The Fire" parody - Sherry Vine
I just saw this parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire" on Reddit. It might be a parody song, but it's also a potted history of LGBT activism in the USA for the past 60 years. We Didn't Start The...
I just saw this parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire" on Reddit. It might be a parody song, but it's also a potted history of LGBT activism in the USA for the past 60 years.
6 votes -
Highlights from the This is Gender photography competition
8 votes -
Putin introduces constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriage and mentioning God
18 votes -
Four years, two continents: A gay Chinese couple's journey for a surrogate son
5 votes -
Glitter and be gay – or don't, and still be gay
12 votes -
How do I combat the "women need safe spaces" argument?
(I am trans-inclusive. I believe trans rights are human rights. I believe in self-identification. I will use whatever pronouns someone choose, and I try not to assume pronouns.) In the UK recently...
(I am trans-inclusive. I believe trans rights are human rights. I believe in self-identification. I will use whatever pronouns someone choose, and I try not to assume pronouns.)
In the UK recently there's been a bit of a debate between trans-phobic "gender critical" feminists who say that for sexual safety women need spaces that are women only, and that this means they need to exclude trans-people.
I think this is bullshit. I'd like some good quality arguments to use against this.
What are your ideas?
14 votes -
Teenage transgender row splits Sweden as dysphoria diagnoses soar by 1,500% – new health report and TV debates highlight backlash against gender reassignment
11 votes -
The multimillion-dollar Christian group attacking LGBTQ+ rights
19 votes -
LGBTQ activists in Iceland are protesting the planned deportation of a transgender teen and his family who fled Iran last February
10 votes -
Professor loses landmark legal battle after claiming it’s ‘free speech’ to deliberately misgender trans students
23 votes -
Shame
16 votes -
The number of teenagers registered as girls at birth who have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria has increased by almost 1,500 percent in ten years in Sweden
10 votes -
Lesbians make history with Northern Ireland's first same-sex marriage
10 votes -
What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)?
Introduction Gender and sexuality are complex, personal topics, and asking questions about them can often feel invasive or even offensive. Discussions about them can be tough to navigate,...
Introduction
Gender and sexuality are complex, personal topics, and asking questions about them can often feel invasive or even offensive. Discussions about them can be tough to navigate, especially online, where people's guards are often up and hostility and harassment are common.
In order to help clear the air and provide a safe space for honest and genuine dialogue, we have assembled a cross-section of Tildes' LGBT community to whom you can ask questions. These volunteers have agreed to open up about their experiences, identities, and knowledge.
In this thread, you will be able to ask our panelists questions regarding anything you've ever wanted to know about being LGBT. Our goal is to provide you with meaningful answers, not judge you for your questions! For the purposes of this thread, LGBT refers to the umbrella term under which all minority gender and sexual identities fall.
Guidelines for Participation
Asking Questions
- Questions will be afforded the principle of charity. Ask any questions you've ever wanted to know, especially those you might feel are "not okay" to ask elsewhere.
- Feel free to ask informational questions (e.g. "What does 'pansexual' mean?"), experiential questions (e.g. "Are you out to your family? If so, how did they respond to you coming out?"), and opinion questions (e.g. "What are your thoughts on the various LGBT acronyms?").
- You can ask questions to the whole panel or to specific members. If asking specific members, please ping them using an
@username
mention in your comment. - Follow-up questions are allowed and encouraged.
- Not all questions have to be serious! It's totally okay to ask fun, non-serious stuff too.
Giving Answers
- Panelists have the right to pass on any question they do not want to answer. While they might give a reason for passing, they are not required to do so.
- Similarly, not all questions will receive answers from all panelists. We have a large group and don't want to overwhelm everyone with 10+ responses to every question.
- Each panelist is speaking from their own experience and perspective, so you might find conflicting information in responses to a question, and that's okay! We're a diverse group of different people, not a unified monoculture!
Additional Notes
- The panel's make-up is based entirely on who volunteered and is not meant to be representative of all identities under the LGBT umbrella.
- Similarly, any one panelist's voice should not be taken as representative of the opinion of all those who share their identity.
- Please remember that these panelists are choosing to share intimate and often difficult personal information. Please respect their disclosure in your responses -- they are putting themselves out there for you!
- If you do not wish to see or participate in this thread for whatever reason, use Tildes' ignore topic feature to hide it from your feed.
Panelists
Here are the users who will be answering your questions:
@Algernon_Asimov
@CALICO
@Cleb
@emdash
@Gaywallet
@kfwyre
@patience_limited
@reifyresonance
@ShilohMizook
@Silbern
@tindall
@WhomYou can get more information on each in their bios below:
Full Panelist Bios
Name Identity Preferred Pronouns Bio @Algernon_Asimov Gay man I'm "Algernon". I'm a middle-aged gay man living in Australia. I came of age during the 1980s, when "gay" meant "Got AIDS Yet?". @CALICO Pan & Poly, Male-shaped, Agender, Non-transitioning Trans None/No-preference Late-20's, military brat, former military, current gov't contractor. Historically lived all over the US; in the past 18-months I've lived in three states and two non-US countries—currently Afghanistan. Out where it matters, closeted where it doesn't. Unmarried—probably forever—in a LT/LDR currently with just one person. Shameless hippie, hobbyist, & aspiring author. @Cleb Genderfluid (Agender & Femme, also fine with just Non-Binary) They/Them, She/Her Early 20s, American, white, closeted in real life. Grew up in very conservative & religious area, still live here. Can talk about growing up like that, my struggle with fluidity/internalized transphobia/gender as a whole, things relating to trans culture on the internet, and any of the other standard fare trans and gender-nonconforming person questions. @emdash. If you wanted to find my real name and social media profiles, you probably could, but keep it to yourself and don't be a dick, okay? Gay cis-male He/him Early 20s (wow there's a theme emerging) guy living in New Zealand. Software engineering degree, but I hate the industry, so working on my own business and studying to be a pilot instead (aka the backup plan). I also fly a paraglider for fun. I've always lived in New Zealand, but would love to live overseas. Have the Tinder/Taimi profile tuned to a fine fucking art (IMHO). Out to friends, family aren't informed since I'm not particularly close to them anyway. @Gaywallet pan, poly, enby (nonbinary) they/them Early 30s, lived in California my whole life. Currently have 5 partners and feeling quite polysaturated. Big into raving, psychedelics, and general hippy stuff but with a queer focus. Out to friends and family, but not fully flying my flag at work (work in progress to happen this year). @kfwyre gay cis male he/him/they/them Teacher. Happily married. Living in the US, and grew up in a very conservative Christian area. Came out in my 20s and dealt with severe depression and fallout with family. @patience_limited Queer; intersex non-binary they/them/she/her Mainly in the sidebar. US, 50's, raised near a university town, married. White(ish). @reifyresonance transfemme, queer, poly she/they 19, living in the southern US. Studied in China for a year and did a field research project on marginalized queer identities in Shanghai nightlife (talked to people in gay bars), so if anyone wants to hear my (white, American) thoughts on that, I'm game :). I also got to help start an LGBT organization at my school there! Spent the last six months or so doing computer programming, and was part of the workplace LGBT affinity group. (Also, general transgender questions.) @ShilohMizook (Shiloh) Bisexual, lean mostly towards guys. Cis male. He, Him. 17, I go to a Catholic school in Florida, but the people there are pretty accepting, so I'm out to everyone. My parents try to avoid the subject. I've never actually met another non-straight guy in real life, which has kind of frustrated me, but it's okay. @Silbern Gay male He/him I'm an early 20's white guy with Asperger's Syndrome studying Computer Science. I come from a military family, so I've traveled a lot and lived in many places that were across the spectrum in gay friendliness. I currently live in Hawaii, which might be relevant both for my answers as well as possible time zone limitations. @tindall bisexual transgender female she/her Software engineer just getting out of college and into my first long-term full-time gig, at a company making cancer screening software. Grew up all over the place (East Coast, then Texas, then California) and I'm now in the Midwest. I care a lot about making the world a gentler and more supportive place for everyone, and I try to apply my skills to do that. @Whom (...and Scarlett) Trans lesbian She Early 20s, raised in the rural US (Wisconsin) studying English Education. Oh, and white. That's the important bits for context. I'm very familiar with current youth trans culture on the internet (which is so pervasive within the community that it's necessary for understanding what it's like being young and trans), so I'm well-equipped to answer questions relating to that or, of course, the trans experience as I see it. I might also be a decent resource to ask about how mental illness (particularly depression, severe anxiety, and light dissociation) fits into the whole picture.
The door is open. Ask away!
80 votes -
Switzerland votes to ban homophobic discrimination
10 votes -
Phillip Schofield (ITV's This Morning presenter) comes out as gay, saying on live TV: “I’m proud of myself today"
8 votes -
Creating a safer internet with .gay
13 votes -
Queer time: The alternative to “adulting” | What constitutes adulthood has never been self-evident or value-neutral. Queer lives follow their own temporal logic.
10 votes -
Jameela Jamil announces she is ‘queer’ after backlash over TV role
17 votes -
Recruiting for a panel for an LGBT-focused Q&A session on Tildes
A recent conversation resurfaced an idea I've had for a while now, and I've decided to move forward with it. The Idea: a thread along the lines of "What's something you've always wanted to know...
A recent conversation resurfaced an idea I've had for a while now, and I've decided to move forward with it.
The Idea: a thread along the lines of "What's something you've always wanted to know about being LGBT but were afraid to ask?" I want to encourage people to specifically ask questions that might be uncomfortable, or questions that might be seen as too forward or invasive in other contexts. Crucially, I also want to have a diverse panel of LGBT people ready and willing to answer those types of questions in the thread. I'm using LGBT here in the Tildes-preferred umbrella manner, so this is open to all who identify with a minority gender identity or sexual/romantic orientation.
The Location: I feel like hosting it in ~talk would be best so that we are visible to people who do not subscribe to ~lgbt, who are more likely to have questions about our experiences.
The Panel: I have thought about just putting up the thread with no preparation and letting people respond as they see fit, but I've always held back because I think it's important to be able to have lots of different voices, identities, and experiences represented. As such, I figure assembling a panel of willing respondents prior to the thread would be good, hence this planning topic! We can list the names and short bios about the panel participants in the top level of the topic, which then lets participants know who is responding to them, as well as giving them the opportunity to ask questions to specific individuals should they wish to do so.
The Time: I am thinking next Monday, Feb. 10 would be a good time to get this up and running, but that is flexible. I expect the thread to be active for about one to three days.
Next Steps
If you are willing to be a part of the panel and answer questions:
- let me know either by commenting here or sending me a PM,
- include how you identify yourself,
- include what your preferred pronouns are, and
- include a short bio about yourself that will be posted in the thread.
An example of what panelists' introductions will look like in the Q&A thread:
Name Identity Preferred Pronouns Bio kfwyre gay cis male he/him/they/them Teacher. Happily married. Living in the US, and grew up in a very conservative Christian area. Came out in my 20s and dealt with severe depression and fallout with family. The bio can include anything you think might be relevant for context, or that you think people might want to ask about.
Signing on to participate in the panel does NOT mean you must answer every question asked. Panel participants can choose which questions they answer, as well as how much they choose to share. Signing on simply means you're agreeing to participate in the topic to the best of your ability and comfort level.
Finally, if you have any feedback or ideas for how this should run, let me know!
23 votes -
How rigid/fluid is your gender and/or sexuality?
The following questions are aimed at gender identity, gender expression, romantic orientation, and/or sexual orientation. To cut down on wordiness, all the questions below will just say...
The following questions are aimed at gender identity, gender expression, romantic orientation, and/or sexual orientation. To cut down on wordiness, all the questions below will just say "identity", but know that I'm asking about any and all of the different parts that make up our gendered, romantic, and sexual selves.
You don't necessarily need to answer regarding all axes or focuses: choose the ones most salient or meaningful to you and your experiences. Furthermore, these questions are open to all, including people who don't identify as LGBT.
- How would you describe the rigidity/fluidity of your identity or its different parts?
- Do you experience short-term changes in your identity?
- Have you experienced long-term changes in your identity?
- Does your identity have any elements that are unchanging long-term?
- How does the fluidity/rigidity of your identity affect you? Are there advantages? Disadvantages?
- Are you certain in your identity right now, or is it unclear to you at the moment?
- If you are certain, do you think that certainty will persist, or might things change in the future?
- If you are uncertain, do you think a more definite identity will coalesce for you at some point?
As always, the questions are just jumping off points and don't need to be treated like a quiz. Also, just to be clear, I am asking this purely out of curiosity and am in no way trying to assert that a more rigid/fluid identity is better/worse. Likewise, I'm not trying to cast judgment on anyone still questioning or engaging in self-discovery. Your process and your identity are valid wherever you're at and however you feel. I'm simply interested to hear what your experiences are, whoever you are.
27 votes -
'It’s not easy to believe in a god when people tell you God doesn’t like us'
13 votes -
Why Republicans are suddenly in a rush to regulate every trans kid’s puberty
14 votes -
South Dakota House passes bill which makes it a misdemeanor for doctors to provide puberty blockers or other treatments affecting gender expression to children under sixteen years old
21 votes -
Gay asylum seekers seeking protection in Australia were asked by government officials if they could pretend to be straight to avoid persecution in their home countries
10 votes -
San Francisco Pride members vote to ban Google and YouTube from their parade
25 votes -
Becoming a man
15 votes -
Utah has voted to ban LGBTQ+ conversion therapy for children, becoming the 19th US state to outlaw the discredited practice
18 votes -
Denmark to finally allow gay and bisexual men to give blood – but only after four month abstinence period
24 votes -
Gender neutral toilets in use for first time at Australian Open
10 votes -
I used to be an anti-LGBTQ Evangelical. Here’s what finally changed my heart and mind.
7 votes -
Sci-fi magazine pulls story by trans writer after 'barrage of attacks'
20 votes