My first thought after reading this, well, rather skimming, is that there are so many people who dictate their lives based on their romantic relationships. This is going to sound sexist but i dont...
My first thought after reading this, well, rather skimming, is that there are so many people who dictate their lives based on their romantic relationships. This is going to sound sexist but i dont care, i am a feminist in a sense that i treat everyone the same, i simply dont care, and know everyone is the same with different background. In my personal experience it`s mostly my female friends(of course also male) who behave like this, their hole life is dictated around their partners, and they never stay single, bouncing between relationships, afraid of being alone. Being alone and feeling alone are different things, and this is something you can only learn if you stay single for a while, and alone. And if you live with your parents between those relationships it is going to be hard to learn this.
I think it`s better to be alone for a while as a young adult. Learn to be an individual, get to know yourself, and build an economy as an individual as well. This way you wont feel like you are split in two when the relationships ends, if it does that is. But the numbers say it probably will, which is why in this day and age it is important to learn this.
If the writer of this article was a strong individual she would not have these problems she is writing about.
You should know that the notion that leaving your family home at an early age is a requirement of adult life is not a part of all cultures. And even in the ones where it is part, the rules are not...
You should know that the notion that leaving your family home at an early age is a requirement of adult life is not a part of all cultures. And even in the ones where it is part, the rules are not always the same.
I'm latino too - Brazilian. I'm in my mid-thirties. I'm currently in my mother's house (she travels most of the time, but still: I'm in her house). There are no conflicts whatsoever regarding this...
I'm latino too - Brazilian. I'm in my mid-thirties. I'm currently in my mother's house (she travels most of the time, but still: I'm in her house). There are no conflicts whatsoever regarding this arrangement. I'm friends with a well-known artist who is actually rich. He lives in the same house where he was born, with his mother and sister. I actually know another artist who is also rich, also living with his mother. Another friend has a moderately successful career. No plans to leave the family home. Neither of them are considered "losers". They like living with their relatives and contribute to the family's livelihood.
Fantastic - some cultures rub chicken blood on people, what's your point? Her culture attaches certain requirements to success, she obviously does too else she wouldn't feel the need to justify...
Fantastic - some cultures rub chicken blood on people, what's your point?
Her culture attaches certain requirements to success, she obviously does too else she wouldn't feel the need to justify her failure to meet those requirements.
That is not a good comparison. I provided a different perspective, but not different enough to be considered anything close to tribal behavior, such as "rubbing chicken blood on people". Your...
That is not a good comparison. I provided a different perspective, but not different enough to be considered anything close to tribal behavior, such as "rubbing chicken blood on people". Your comment is lazy, obnoxious and logically unsound.
The difference is purely in the number of people doing it - there is no logical difference between the behaviours from a value judgement perspective. The point is, one culture does one thing, one...
The difference is purely in the number of people doing it - there is no logical difference between the behaviours from a value judgement perspective. The point is, one culture does one thing, one culture does another, but if you want to hold up the differences in cultures as making things ok, that only works within that culture.
My gut reaction was the same as yours, but I feel like it might not be an especially healthy attitude. To put a deliberate positive spin on the story: she has a strong and loving support network,...
My gut reaction was the same as yours, but I feel like it might not be an especially healthy attitude.
To put a deliberate positive spin on the story: she has a strong and loving support network, and on three occasions over the last two decades she made use of that to help her through particularly difficult times. Knowing she always has this fallback gives her comfort and confidence, leading her to take more calculated risks and succeed more often when she does.
Obviously that's an extreme - it's just as easy to paint it negatively, and the likelihood is that neither is completely true. I guess what I'm really saying is that "asking for help = failure" (and even more so, "needing help = failure") is something I've internalised in a lot of ways, and I'm starting to seriously question the attitudes that led down that path.
Asking for help when you need it is fine, but pinning her success to her relationships over and over shows gross overcommitting and an entirely false sense of independence - she's just bouncing...
Asking for help when you need it is fine, but pinning her success to her relationships over and over shows gross overcommitting and an entirely false sense of independence - she's just bouncing from caregiver to caregiver.
My first thought after reading this, well, rather skimming, is that there are so many people who dictate their lives based on their romantic relationships. This is going to sound sexist but i dont care, i am a feminist in a sense that i treat everyone the same, i simply dont care, and know everyone is the same with different background. In my personal experience it`s mostly my female friends(of course also male) who behave like this, their hole life is dictated around their partners, and they never stay single, bouncing between relationships, afraid of being alone. Being alone and feeling alone are different things, and this is something you can only learn if you stay single for a while, and alone. And if you live with your parents between those relationships it is going to be hard to learn this.
I think it`s better to be alone for a while as a young adult. Learn to be an individual, get to know yourself, and build an economy as an individual as well. This way you wont feel like you are split in two when the relationships ends, if it does that is. But the numbers say it probably will, which is why in this day and age it is important to learn this.
If the writer of this article was a strong individual she would not have these problems she is writing about.
Moving back home once while you recover from something major is one thing - this woman has made a habit of it. That's called failing life.
You should know that the notion that leaving your family home at an early age is a requirement of adult life is not a part of all cultures. And even in the ones where it is part, the rules are not always the same.
I'm latino too - Brazilian. I'm in my mid-thirties. I'm currently in my mother's house (she travels most of the time, but still: I'm in her house). There are no conflicts whatsoever regarding this arrangement. I'm friends with a well-known artist who is actually rich. He lives in the same house where he was born, with his mother and sister. I actually know another artist who is also rich, also living with his mother. Another friend has a moderately successful career. No plans to leave the family home. Neither of them are considered "losers". They like living with their relatives and contribute to the family's livelihood.
Fantastic - some cultures rub chicken blood on people, what's your point?
Her culture attaches certain requirements to success, she obviously does too else she wouldn't feel the need to justify her failure to meet those requirements.
That is not a good comparison. I provided a different perspective, but not different enough to be considered anything close to tribal behavior, such as "rubbing chicken blood on people". Your comment is lazy, obnoxious and logically unsound.
The difference is purely in the number of people doing it - there is no logical difference between the behaviours from a value judgement perspective. The point is, one culture does one thing, one culture does another, but if you want to hold up the differences in cultures as making things ok, that only works within that culture.
I could argue that the criteria for "failing in life" is highly subjective within any culture, though.
Of course. I was merely calling attention to the fact that your initial statement was not universally valid.
My gut reaction was the same as yours, but I feel like it might not be an especially healthy attitude.
To put a deliberate positive spin on the story: she has a strong and loving support network, and on three occasions over the last two decades she made use of that to help her through particularly difficult times. Knowing she always has this fallback gives her comfort and confidence, leading her to take more calculated risks and succeed more often when she does.
Obviously that's an extreme - it's just as easy to paint it negatively, and the likelihood is that neither is completely true. I guess what I'm really saying is that "asking for help = failure" (and even more so, "needing help = failure") is something I've internalised in a lot of ways, and I'm starting to seriously question the attitudes that led down that path.
Asking for help when you need it is fine, but pinning her success to her relationships over and over shows gross overcommitting and an entirely false sense of independence - she's just bouncing from caregiver to caregiver.