12 votes

The New 30-Something: Have you or haven’t you cut the financial cord with your family?

7 comments

  1. lazer Link
    I am 30 and cut financial ties with my parents at around 20 years old. I can't imagine being dependent on my family (or anyone else) for anything to be honest, and I'm fortunate to be in a...

    I am 30 and cut financial ties with my parents at around 20 years old. I can't imagine being dependent on my family (or anyone else) for anything to be honest, and I'm fortunate to be in a position where I can take care of myself.

    4 votes
  2. [4]
    dubteedub Link
    I am curious if any Tilders have any experience with this? I am 29 and the only thing my father still pays for is our family's Netflix account. That being said, I know if my wife and I decided to...

    More than half (53 percent) of Americans aged 21 to 37 have received some form of financial assistance from a parent, guardian or family member since turning 21, according to a 2018 report by Country Financial, a financial services firm in Bloomington, Ill. This may include paying bills for a cellphone (41 percent), groceries and gas (32 percent), rent (40 percent) or health insurance (32 percent).

    A quarter of millennial parents receive hourly support from their parents, in the form of child care or household help, and 18 percent of those receiving financial support say they couldn’t afford their current lifestyle without it. Over half of these millennial parents (remember that more than a million are becoming mothers every year) say they have a generalized anxiety about not earning enough to support themselves and their families.

    I am curious if any Tilders have any experience with this? I am 29 and the only thing my father still pays for is our family's Netflix account.

    That being said, I know if my wife and I decided to have kids, we would absolutely seek help from our family to support child care or other expenses.

    1 vote
    1. [2]
      alyaza Link Parent
      i'm just straight up not going to be moving out by the time i'm 21, specifically because the cheapest rents around here are still like $1,110/mo and there's really no way i'm going to be making...

      i'm just straight up not going to be moving out by the time i'm 21, specifically because the cheapest rents around here are still like $1,110/mo and there's really no way i'm going to be making that kind of money in the near-term future even with a degree (and my parents barely make enough to cover our rent here as it is anyways, so even if i wanted to move out i'd pretty much be condemning them to living like shit for the next thirty years). i suspect that i'm far from alone in this regard.

      3 votes
      1. botanrice Link Parent
        You're definitely not alone on this one. Lots of people in your situation, especially around the big metropolitan areas (I can speak for people I know around DC, NYC, Boston living at home).

        You're definitely not alone on this one. Lots of people in your situation, especially around the big metropolitan areas (I can speak for people I know around DC, NYC, Boston living at home).

        2 votes
    2. bbvnvlt Link Parent
      I am a 34 year old Dutchman. I have been practically independent since 18, and completelye since my last year at university, so since 23 or 24. During my studies, support was 'limited' to books...

      I am a 34 year old Dutchman. I have been practically independent since 18, and completelye since my last year at university, so since 23 or 24. During my studies, support was 'limited' to books and things for university. Tuition I always paid myself.

      However, this was only possible due to student allowance that Dutch students still got at that time, supplemented by low-interest student loans (from the national government). Although I also worked a number of part-time jobs over the years (I don't mean multiple at the same time), I ended up with € 18k debt, which I paid off a number of years ago already.

      The fact that I could fall back on parents' support in case of need has probably been a subconscious boost, though. I worked as a freelancer for a number of years (very successfully, but it was risky).

      Added privilege: when buying a house together with my partner, we got 25k 'advanced inheritence' from her parents...

      Because we don't live close to parents, I don't expect a one-day-a-week childcare arrangement from parents, although my brother's and sister's kid/kids do stay with them one day a week.

      1 vote
  3. space_cowboy Link
    I never had much financial support from my parents. My stepfather gave me a car when I was in my 20s - an old, beat up thing that would rattle like a jackhammer if I accelerated over 50, but as...

    I never had much financial support from my parents. My stepfather gave me a car when I was in my 20s - an old, beat up thing that would rattle like a jackhammer if I accelerated over 50, but as far as bills and money, I had to pay my own bills, and every year I would end up giving my parents $1000 or more, since I was the only one with a paycheck, albeit a rather meager one. After moving away to the city, I haven't received or expected any financial support from anyone in my family.

    When things got rough, foodstamps and unemployment helped until Republicans kicked the unemployment out from under me. I voluntarily gave up the foodstamp benefits when I didn't need them anymore. Fortunately, I found a job at the last minute.

    1 vote
  4. balooga Link
    I'm at the older end of the "millennial" generation. I feel like those boundaries need to be redrawn to distinguish digital natives from those like me who remember the world before the web,...

    I'm at the older end of the "millennial" generation. I feel like those boundaries need to be redrawn to distinguish digital natives from those like me who remember the world before the web, because that's a pretty significant cultural gap and I don't see much value in lumping us all together.

    It may be just my own anecdotal luck, but I believe I was in one of the last classes of college students that graduated before tuition and interest rates shot through the roof. When I read the articles about the student debtpocalypse I feel like I must have dodged a bullet. Likewise, my first apartments cost about $500/mo to rent and that seems like ancient history now. Had I been just a couple years younger I would've faced a much bigger struggle to start out on my own. I am financially independent, but just barely. Fortunately I was able to get into a good career — but I've never felt more than a step or two ahead of the unfolding millennial narrative described in articles like this one.

    Maybe these things aren't all directly connected, but from my vantage point, growing up after the web epoch and the soaring cost of living for young adults define the "millennial experience," and the generational definition should be adjusted to account for that.

    1 vote