20 votes

Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

13 comments

  1. [9]
    JXM Link
    One thing the article doesn't mention is that divorces can be extremely expensive (sometimes many thousands of dollars). I'd guess that money is also a factor in the drop in divorces. There's...

    One thing the article doesn't mention is that divorces can be extremely expensive (sometimes many thousands of dollars). I'd guess that money is also a factor in the drop in divorces. There's probably a lot of people who just can't afford to be divorced.

    As sad as it is, I'm sure a lot of couples do the calculations and decide that it's just cheaper for them to stay together.

    9 votes
    1. [7]
      NaraVara Link Parent
      I’d want some kind of numbers to substantiate that. If the divorce is expensive it would be cheaper to just separate without officially divorcing. And, afaik, it only really gets expensive if you...

      I’d want some kind of numbers to substantiate that. If the divorce is expensive it would be cheaper to just separate without officially divorcing. And, afaik, it only really gets expensive if you need to have a fight about splitting property or custody of kids.

      9 votes
      1. [6]
        Ephemere Link Parent
        Indeed, I wonder if people who are considering splitting up have their behavior influenced by the sheer visibility of how expensive a contested divorce can be. It's possible that people who would...

        Indeed, I wonder if people who are considering splitting up have their behavior influenced by the sheer visibility of how expensive a contested divorce can be. It's possible that people who would otherwise very much want to fight with their spouse don't, because half of a medium deal can be a lot better than 75% of a much worse one, after you collectively spend your savings on the fight itself.

        4 votes
        1. [5]
          NaraVara Link Parent
          I suspect it’s probably more likely that the millennial generation is only the first or second to grow up in a world of widespread, no fault divorce. So they probably have seen what tore marriages...

          I suspect it’s probably more likely that the millennial generation is only the first or second to grow up in a world of widespread, no fault divorce. So they probably have seen what tore marriages up and know better how to avoid it as well as understand how to prepare to keep it somewhat amicable and fair.

          I think family lawyers have also developed a bit to not let things get so acrimonious.

          6 votes
          1. [2]
            JXM Link Parent
            This is something my wife and I both talked about before we got married, since both of our parents divorced one another. It's definitely informed how we deal with arguments and disagreements...

            So they probably have seen what tore marriages up and know better how to avoid it as well as understand how to prepare to keep it somewhat amicable and fair.

            This is something my wife and I both talked about before we got married, since both of our parents divorced one another. It's definitely informed how we deal with arguments and disagreements (although in four years we've never even had anything that escalated to so much as a shouting match). We're very open about why we're upset and try to figure out compromises, which is something both of us noticed our parents never did.

            6 votes
            1. NaraVara Link Parent
              My wife and I have a different deal. She's a child of an extremely badly handled divorce while my parents had a very successful arranged marriage and come from a culture where divorce just wasn't...

              My wife and I have a different deal. She's a child of an extremely badly handled divorce while my parents had a very successful arranged marriage and come from a culture where divorce just wasn't a thing.

              We approach conflict differently. She is extremely conflict avoidant while I'm kind of like "What's the big deal? We fight, we make up, we move on," the way I saw my parents do. The absence of divorce as an option, I think, just makes people less likely filter or constrain themselves. It works out fine for people like my parents who, in addition to being pretty compatible personalities, are also both pretty mature about handling conflict, not taking things personally, and have a strong sense of commitment to family come hell or high water. I assume it works out less well when one or both parents don't have all of the above.

              1 vote
          2. [2]
            imperialismus Link Parent
            That's a very optimistic way of looking at things. The cynical side in me thinks it's more that people are marrying less overall and waiting longer until they're more sure the relationship is...

            That's a very optimistic way of looking at things. The cynical side in me thinks it's more that people are marrying less overall and waiting longer until they're more sure the relationship is going to work out long term, and the life situation is more stable. That would still a good thing! But it doesn't mean younger generations are just better at maintaining long-term relationships.

            Today a lot of people will spend their entire twenties and beyond just dating around before getting married. I think a generation or two ago, most people would probably be married or divorced by that time. It's a lot healthier overall.

            2 votes
            1. NaraVara Link Parent
              It's definitely a multi-causal thing. But back in the 80s and even the 90s I don't think couple's counseling or therapy was as mainstream as it is now. The mere increase in scale and social...

              It's definitely a multi-causal thing. But back in the 80s and even the 90s I don't think couple's counseling or therapy was as mainstream as it is now. The mere increase in scale and social acceptability has also, I think, made family lawyers and courts better at their jobs and better at handling things amicably. There are a lot more resources and areas of social support available to people that just weren't there before.

    2. babypuncher Link Parent
      Getting a divorce should be free. Just fill out some paper work and call it a day.

      Getting a divorce should be free. Just fill out some paper work and call it a day.

  2. Diet_Coke (edited ) Link
    Call me crazy, but it seems like it might be because there used to be an absolutely massive amount of social pressure to be married and now there's not. That accounts for both the rise in divorces...

    Call me crazy, but it seems like it might be because there used to be an absolutely massive amount of social pressure to be married and now there's not. That accounts for both the rise in divorces and the lower amount of divorces among younger people. We don't usually join ultimately doomed marriages of convenience just because we're tired of our friends and relatives bugging us about it. Unmarried mothers don't have to move to the countryside, they can just do their thing. The nature of relationships is changing, IMO in a positive way, to be much more about personal compatibility.

    5 votes
  3. [2]
    aseriesofnumb3rs Link
    Call me old fashioned, but I like meeting people in bars with alcohol and poor life choices.

    Call me old fashioned, but I like meeting people in bars with alcohol and poor life choices.

    1 vote
    1. Nivlak Link Parent
      That style is still very much alive. I live in a big city and it’s even crazier now than it was 10 years ago.

      That style is still very much alive. I live in a big city and it’s even crazier now than it was 10 years ago.

      2 votes
  4. Douglas Link
    Maybe this is one area where the information age has helped in that it's fostered more connections? I met my wife through OKCupid, and being open to that type of system and network of people...

    Maybe this is one area where the information age has helped in that it's fostered more connections? I met my wife through OKCupid, and being open to that type of system and network of people looking for one another just did wonders; I'm not sure we would've ever found each other otherwise.

    1 vote