As my school project this year, I'm making a metasearch engine for courses (any type, online/offline, free/paid). I could just add the websites I know myself but school requires us to provide a detailed explanation of how we did "market research", so I'm asking here.

What websites do you usually go to first to when you want to learn something? It should preferably be something which is not exclusive to IT, but those websites are fine as well if they're really good.

1. When did you stop celebrating?
2. Why did you stop celebrating?
3. How have family and friends responded?
4. What do you do instead, if anything?

Disclaimer - I am not aiming to shame or undermine those who do celebrate, this is just friendly a discussion for those who don’t.

Becoming a father is a moment of great elation and stress, bringing challenges that are hard to anticipate. Given the different demands and circumstances that surround us, many of these challenges are not necessarily shared by our partners. At the very least, many challenges and fortuitous circumstances contain features that are more common for men. What was not like you expected (good or bad)? What did you find particularly surprising or revealing?

I've been looking into this sort of thing for a while. Looks like a nice way to get a change of scenery (if you don't know WOOFING is basically volunteer farm work for room/board). Anyone have experience doing this in the USA/anywhere else? Would love to hear from you if so!

How visible is your lifestyle to others in your life (personal, professional, etc)?

Have you found love recently?

What do serious relationships look like for you? Is marriage on the table, or is it contrary to polyamory?

I'm hoping to spark discussion of the topic, since I haven't seen it mentioned much on Tildes.

I don't necessarily mean your exact kinks, more the overall psychological and emotional aspects.

I just had a conversation with my girlfriend about this very topic, discussing why we liked the things we do.

Having thought through it more thoroughly, I find that giving up power makes me feel desired and objectified by the dominant in a safe environment, which is a feeling I seldom get to experience as I'm neither an 7+ out of 10 or in otherwise position to attract that kind of attention.

In addition, always feeling like I have to control every situation I'm in and often feeling somewhat anxious if I'm in an unfamiliar environment, this sort of play also allows me to safely relinquish control.

How about you?

Users of Tildes, what are your morning routines like? What do you do when you first open your eyes and get out of bed? What things do you think are beneficial and help you start your day? What improvements do you think you could make?

I initially tried to find an existing thread, but my Google Fu was not up to the task. My apologies if this has been asked before.

For me, my usual morning goes like this:

• Get woken up before the alarm by my dog
• Take her out while doing the daily Wordle
• Feed my dog while drinking my morning coffee and reading a chapter from one of the books I’m currently reading
• Get dressed and tidied up
• (If it’s a work day) I prep my things/lunch
• (if it’s the weekend) I’ll typically read a couple more chapters or go directly to the next step
• I’ll catch up on news/Tildes/Instagram
• And then I continue my day (either by going to work or planning out what needs done around the house)

I think the only improvements I could really think of is possibly adding a block of 10-15 minutes to journal. I think a bit of self reflection would be beneficial. I usually do some journaling in the evening, but having both my pre and post day thoughts catalogued could be beneficial.

What about you guys? What do your mornings look like?

I know for basic living for one single person and no pets, a bathroom, and kitchen+living room+bedroom are the bare essentials. So basically a studio.

What I'm looking for is some opinions on what separated rooms are needed/wanted for a house, and also how needed/wanted are they? I'd say the bathroom and "studio" room would rank as #1 and #2, unless you plan on having the "studio" area separate. In that case, these are ranked as:
Bathroom -1
Kitchen - 2
Bedroom - 3
Living room - 4

Maybe add in closets here and there, and a laundry room?

Bthrm closet - 5
Laundry - 6
Bdr closet - 7
Pantry - 8
Lvgrm closet - 9

But I know nothing of what rooms are necessary (or lesser known possible rooms/areas) for living, or even how big they should be. I know in my state, NC, the bare minimum is 720 sq ft, so shooting for slightly over that would be ideal for me. I don't want to have a huge house to clean, and I love cozy, small spaces. If I want to see some larger space, I'll look out a window or go outside.

So what would be your numbered list for priority rooms in a house?

Some normal everyday things have "premium" alternatives which are more high-quality and pleasant to use. Some examples of what I mean

Ballpoint pens -> Fountain pens
Cartridge razor -> Double edge razor
Nespresso -> Brewing coffee
Membrane keyboards -> Mechanical keyboards

Those things can be overkill, but if it's something that you use often, it can become a great investment.

What other similar improvements have you found?

I'm curious about people's thoughts/opinions on how a vet (or someone offering a pet service) should interact with a dog. It seems as though people have wide ranging and shifting opinions about how dogs should be interacted with and how they interpret the dog's behavior. Some people are extremely sensitive about their dog's mental well being. They do acupuncture and meditation exercises with their dog, speak about the dog's mental health and choose vets that take a very non-threatening and holistic approach to dealing with dogs.

On the flip side is the vet that, although kind and somewhat sensitive, takes a more treatment focused approach and are more direct (the "gentle but firm" approach). Although the dog may be nervous and scared, IME that's pretty common for many dogs. This more direct vet would acknowledge the nervousness but still do what they need to do, often saying "I know you don't like this buddy, but we've gotta do this".

I'm curious what people's thoughts are on this. I'm asking about this because I had an experience at a vet that took a more sensitive approach. And while I appreciate that, my dog was sick and needed treatment. Because of this sensitive technique, the vet didn't examine my dog. He did the "let the dog come to me" approach, which, heh, doesn't really work when you have a sick dog that needs a diagnosis and treatment. You kinda HAVE to put your hands on the dog, feel their vitals, chest, check for lumps, etc. The vet also did the "don't make eye contact" approach, which, heh, means you also aren't looking at my dog to see what their issue looks like. Basically the vet crouched down in the corner of the room, didn't look at my dog and didn't touch her. Because I'm very cuddly with dogs, my dog took his behavior as being uninterested and ignored him. When the vet pointed to her ears and said they were laying down because she felt threatened, I corrected him and said her ears were down because she was being submissive (she was calm, sitting with her ears relaxed, not flattened down against her head). I was getting frustrated because I just wanted my dog examined and treated. I'm fine with my dog being uncomfortable during a wellness exam because that's just the way it goes, even for humans! I do want a vet to be somewhat sensitive but firmness and directness can be done sensitively. Idk if it's because I'm older and have an older mentality about this. I grew up watching vets kinda manhandle dogs and saying "they're dogs, they're fine, don't worry so much". I don't treat dogs like hunting dogs (that's just too harsh imo) but I acknowledge that dogs are tougher than we think sometimes.

What are your thoughts and/or opinions on this?

(This is my first post, so please do add tags or tell me if I've missed anything. Thanks!)

Inspired by the recent travel thread of someone asking if people were around for an in person meet up I thought I'd put one up on a more local scale. I'm not sure if ~life is the best place for it but it was my best guess.

If anyone is up for a pint or coffee in northern england it'd be nice to explore some other places nearby and meet up for one.

Anyone in another area could post their location as a top level reply as well so we don't clog the whole place up with similar threads.

One time I asked someone what they thought about the phrase "people are temporary" and it ended with them telling me:

I don't like saying goodbye to people because I don't know if it's going to be the last time.

That just stuck with me and really got me thinking how precious our time is.

Following yesterday's question about showering, I was really interested in how often everyone brushes their teeth. I know dentists recommend 1-3 times a day, with once being like "you'll be fine if you do it properly," and thrice being like "yo, don't brush too hard because you can damage your enamel," but I also know a lot of people do it more than three times a day and I suspect a lot of people do it less than once a day...

I try to do it twice a day...sometimes I miss my evening brushing because one of our cats sleeps in the bathroom so that she has her own space and if the dog (who wants to eat the cats) is already in the bedroom, sometimes I don't feel like escorting him out first. Not great, but at least I'll get it in the morning. And I do sometimes forget in the morning on weekends, but I try to do it as soon as I realize that I've forgotten, and I try to make sure I don't skip nighttime brushing if I forgot to brush in the morning.

I'm interested to know how often people shower or bathe - but I'd also be interested on your thoughts about other people's frequency. Do you feel strongly about how often one should be cleaning themselves, and what factors go into this? I would certainly hope it's reasonably frequent for warm-climate athletes, for example.

Minor hoarder here. Can't seem to let go of small items like pencil stubs and erasers from childhood, and other small seemingly insignificant things. Im a full blown adult but every time i move, those things come with me, and get stored away in the closet or under the bed.

Anyone else do this? What are some things you are forever attached to?

I'm currently juggling full time work and graduate school. Project management is not something that I necessarily find easy, but I need to figure it out in order to succeed this semester. Any productivity tips would be welcome. Thanks

I run into this sometimes (but not often) in my professional life. Instead of signing off their email with their full name, or first name, they simply put the first letter of their name.

Example of ending of email :

Best Regards,
A

I'm trying to sense if I'm off base with this, but I find it pompous. To me, it suggests the sender believes they hold a position of importance. They claim a single letter as their own, ahead of everyone else. Or it suggests the sender believes they are so busy/productive, they choose to save time by not spelling out their full name. Pah.

Thoughts?

Wondering how other organizations are supporting / controlling working from home?

Do you guys get your internet reimbursed? Do you have to use a company-controlled wifi router? Do you get a cellphone (with data) so you have a back-up connectivity? Allowances? Are you surveilled?

Growing up we had a carpet washer we would use once a year or so, but we had a dog and 3 messy kids.

Now that I'm grown up, I'm wondering if people regularly wash their carpets. I know you can rent some powerful units from local stores or get a portable one yourself, but Im actually wondering how common this is for people to do somewhat regularly (vs doing it when necessary due to pet accidents)

I have tried installing apps, logging my days, writing on a piece of paper etc. Everything looks perfect while planning. I over optimize even before I have had experience doing/forming a habit and then lose all focus soon enough. Planning and execution in the short term goes almost flawlessly, but I always fail to be consistent over longer terms which is when the "effects"/"benefits" of the habit would be reaped.

I would love how do you mindfully and purposefully spend time building habits? How to get on track when you eventually slip away due to any number of circumstances?

I'm GenX. I've participated in numerous conversations about how we used to spend large amounts of time outside either alone or with groups of friends, using bikes, skates, skateboards and other ways to goof off and have a good time, but that doesn't happen as much in the US today.

@hobofarmer talked about the trouble his kids have finding friends to spend time with.

The Japanese tv series Old Enough highlights a real cultural difference. https://www.netflix.com/title/81506279

This news article is about parents using air tags to keep track of their kids. If the kids are airtagged, do they then get more freedom to roam? https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/07/26/tracking-kids-airtags/
archive https://archive.li/Zg353

I'm deciding between home/condo ownership. A good condo/house cost roughly the same in my area. But I'm single and don't need a lot of space, so a condo makes sense. However, noise from neighbors is puts me off (a lot). Constantly hearing noise (parties, stomping, pets, etc.) would have a serious negative impact on what's supposed to be a home where you can relax and not deal with the world.

What are/were your experiences? Did the HOA do their diligence when things break or need maintenance? Are their costs reasonable considering how much is needed (time+money) to maintain a house? Was the heated parking garage worth the costs?

I'm sure most of the nail salon choices near me are fine, but I'm going to have to choose. Are there any red flags I should look for? Are there indications of quality that aren't the same as most expensive option? Any advice would be helpful.

Thought I may as well get this party started. What is going on in everyone's life right now?

I'll start.

Today is my birthday, and I am now 38. Officially in my late 30s, and getting ever closer to that big 4-0.

I have never been one to worry so much about my age, but it is hitting me today. Things hurt that didn't used to hurt. I have a few crinkles around my eyes. I also have started getting those little red dots on my back and shoulders (no idea what that is about). My hair is around 40% grey. I have not taken care of myself as I should have. Even though I have never wanted kids it's weird to think that the window is rapidly closing on that. I have more money but also more problems, more home repairs and honestly more life repairs from my 20s. I guess I am just being a bit more reflective than usual.

So where are you in life? And how are you feeling about it?

Recently I've found myself with my previous backpack running through its life, and its not something I'm confident I could repair myself. As such, I'm on the search for a new daily bag. I'm curious what others look for in a daily bag for work or school, and what options people like right now.