Occasionally people here get into discussions about social relationships, namely dating, and what quickly comes up is how both of those seem to be less common and harder to 'get'. This more frequently happens in overtly dating and relationship subreddits and similar dedicated spaces, albeit, of course, this also pops up in more general communities, alongside any community where social relationships are an important topic, like communities about social ideologies like feminism or the manosphere or about genders because heterosexuality.

One thing I often find is missing is some historical context. A lot of talk about loneliness and lack of platonic or romantic relationships is basically limited to the recent past, if it even talks about the past at all. It seems like it would be helpful to look at what relationships and dating were like 10, 20, 30 years ago when it comes to talking about the problems or just general state of both today. So do you know of good sources of information concerning relationships in the past? If so, then why do you think they don't pop up in discussions about dating?

The last time I posted on tildes, I got some really helpful suggestions on a mop for my floors. Now I'm looking for a new high chair for my daughter. She's nearly 6 months old, so we're about to start her on solid foods but gave away our older son's high chair a while back when he started sitting in a regular chair (and because it was terrible).

The main requirement is that it's easy to clean, but it also has to support a younger baby sitting in one for the first time. Our last high chair (Graco brand) almost seemed like it was designed to have as many difficult-to-reach crevices as possible where crumbs could get pulverized into.

What do you think?

The recent rise in hate crimes against Asian Americans has been an emotional topic for me. The thing that makes me sad is, it seems the most I can do to de-escalate a violent situation I see on the news without putting myself in clear danger is to basically distract the aggressor from afar and comfort the victim afterwards.

What makes the matter more complicated is, if you look at the demographics of those who tend to commit these violent crimes against Asian people, they're often other minorities. It's so easy to fall into a trap of undermining the progress we've made in racial/social equality the moment we acknowledge that Asians are being targeted. For similar reasons, I view that our political system is entirely ill-equipped to handle this matter in a sustainable matter.

But I'd still like to turn this into something positive. Because I live comfortably as an engineer in the Bay Area, I was thinking I can donate to charities and organizations that are effective at bringing an end to this violence every time I see news about an Asian American getting targeted on social media. I plan on doing my own research as well, but I hope you can also give some suggestions.

I've been thinking a bit lately of starting to look for another place of work. Nothing is really bad at my current employer, but I've been there since 2017 and my feet are starting to itch a bit. In addition, I'm not really to engaged in my work at the moment since I feel the domain is fairly boring and the tech is rather mundane. This might be a reflection of my sentiment of IT industry in general, i.e. lots of toys but mainly they are just different flavours of the same thing (especially when it comes to building XYZ web app).

Formerly my approach to finding a new job has been to look for companies that are looking for people with skills in technologies I am interested in learning. However, since I'm a bit dissilousioned with tech I think I need to switch my approach and look more for a mission driven organisation I can get behind!

What are your thoughts on organsations that do some kind of important work? If you were to pick a top 3 organisations where you would work which ones would you pick?

Note they don't have to be tech focused. I'm generally curious about different organisations I should look into and also to hear your thoughts on the matter!

I got a cheap mop at the grocery store last year thinking that would be enough, but it broke like a month ago and always left smudges all over my floors anyway. I never really liked it. It was one of those fixed sponges with a handle to squeeze it out rather than one that looks like Medusa.

I have wood laminate floors throughout my house, not true wood floors. Unfortunately, they're dark brown and show a ton of crumbs and smudges, so I'm looking for something sorta in the buy-it-for-life category. I.e. willing to shell out a little more if it makes a difference. I've had a vacuum for a year that has been good for all the crumbs (Miele), and I really love it.

Also what soap should I be using for best results?

Thanks, all!

Hey folks,

since I'm completely out of the loop regarding trends but totally interested in being a 'cool uncle', I am asking you (maybe people having kids around this age) for help!

What is a 'good' present for a 15 year old girl?

I don't know much about her interests or activities and since she is quite new to the family, I haven't had the chance to talk to her.

Is there anything 'universal' today that might work? 😅

Thanks for your thoughts and discussion.

This story was basically the last straw, but the bigger frustration is that I ordered a NAS on Black Friday that STILL hasn't shipped. I have zero trust in this company to actually deliver me what they claim to be anymore, and their listings are crap.

So instead of just spending my time whining (like the Ars comment section seems to be), I'd like to brainstorm alternative places to buy stuff. The main problem is breaking the Amazon habit, especially as it dominates all Google results for whatever you're looking for.

Nothing will ever be as much of a "one stop shop" as the A->Z store, naturally. But I think I'll just set myself up some bookmarks and go to one based on what I'm looking for. Also, while I get that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, there is definitely a sliding scale of better and worse so that should weigh into things.

So let's go by category. I'm just listing out places where I've started to look for things instead. Please feel free to make suggestions. Whatever people recommend, I'll edit back into this list. If you include any general comments about what you like or what they could do better on any of your recommendations or any of mine let me know.

Groceries (Dry goods and sundries)

• Target.com
• Jet.com
• WalMart.com
• CostCo
• Chewy.com: For dog/pet supplies

Groceries (Fresh/perishable and specialty foods)

• Peapod (is this still a thing? Has anyone used it?)

Electronics

• BestBuy.com
• WalMart.com
• Target.com
• Drop.com: Unfortunately, it's whatever happens to be a deal at the time. So good to check in on and get alerts if there is something you're waiting for but not reliable.
• TechnaBob: Same as Drop
• NewEgg: Obviously
• Monoprice: For cables and other staples.

Clothes (basics like socks, t-shirts, underwear, etc.)

Clothes (designer)

• Gilt.com is basically for overstock and weird fashion items. Sometimes there are good finds there though, particularly good deals on designer versions of basics.

Random stuff (specifically random "flea market" type sites)

• Meh.com
• Etsy (for handicrafts and consignment/antiques, although this is also starting to get lousy with shitty knockoffs)
• eBay (can be pretty dodgy, once again crappy knockoff scammers ruin everything)
• CraigsList (if you're okay with used)

Other (specialty sites for very specific things)

• Drop: For stuff in drop communities. Currently they have a very active one for mechanical keyboards along with audiophile gear, writing/stationary, EDC, and random tech.
• The Clymb: A deal site for camping clothes and outdoor gear
• REI.com: More outdoors gear

With the need for social distancing and self-isolation and #Stay(ing)TheFuckHome becoming near global realities, it is looking like many of us, and nearly everyone we know, will be spending large amounts of time staying in. I like this guide (thanks again, @aphoenix!), which ends with "Treat quarantine as an opportunity to do some of those things you never usually have time for."

Certainly we all have things in our life like that, but I also think it would be neat to try to brainstorm a list of things people can do for new experiences -- things they might not think to do or know are available to them. Everybody knows we can catch up on Netflix and our unread pile of books, but what else is out there? What can I do when I need a change of pace? What novel things can people do from home/online that don't require them to go out for resources/supplies?

Spouse and I were on a weekend drive-and-walkaround today, and discussing ways to save money on house renovations. We've kept running into things like, "yeah, two arthritic 50-somethings are really going to DIY sheetrocking a ceiling...nope."

I'm guessing nearly all Tilders have gone through times when they didn't have much, if any, disposable income, or had to squeeze budgets to save for big expenses.

So what do you enjoy doing for entertainment that costs little or nothing beyond what you'd ordinarily spend for basic living expenses?

I know we used to do things like gathering people for potluck, cheap jug wine, and chatter, but we're still building a circle of friends and acquaintances, and don't have space for entertaining yet! Walks in the woods, reading, volunteering, and watching movies, are pretty much givens, but happy to hear your thoughts.

This is a bit of a sibling topic to the one about changing habits for 2020. Rather than looking at habits specifically, I want to look at "swaps" that people can make.

What's something someone could change out for a better alternative?

A swap should be recommended if it is,

• more ethical,
• more sustainable,
• heathier,
• or just overall better in an individual or collective way.

Importantly: the swap should be both feasible and sensical, and should be something that is relatively easy to do. This isn't about making huge lifestyle changes but about taking what we're already doing and making it better.

Please give your reasoning for your swap, as well as any important caveats. Mentioning specific brands/companies is fine if that's an important part of the swap. Also, swaps can be for anything so don't feel limited to consumer products. Feel free to give good food/service/app/software/store swaps as well!

See my post below for an example, if the setup I've given here is unclear!

In a few days, I’ll be crashing on my friend’s couch for a week.

If it matters, I can only buy from retail stores within Hong Kong and hand carry on the subway. Every time I see them, they’re too quick on the bill, so taking them to eat is out of the question.

Obvious choices are alcohol or fruit basket. I’m terrible at picking gifts for people, as I’m always worried they’ll be as picky as I am on my purchases.

What are your go-tos for gifts in this situation?

Given the ambiguity of the term "lifehack", feel free to contribute anything that you feel fits the label. It can be a specific technique, a novel way of using an item, or even a mindset. It can be a little-known product or a recommendation--whatever you deem fit, as long as it improves quality of life, productivity, or satisfaction.

I haven't posted at all on Tildes, but I've been here! I've seen how great of a community it is, even if it isn't that popular yet, so I wanted to ask you kind people for advice on where I should move to. Please tell me if this is the wrong group.

I can't decide where to move. I really want to live in a giant city like NYC because I have a degree in CS and computers are popular in big cities, plus I just enjoy them, but (as I'm sure everyone knows) it's super expensive. I also really love rain and snow. If any of you could recommend a relatively inexpensive city that rains and snows a lot, I'd greatly appreciate it. It doesn't have to be in the U.S. Thank you all so much!