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42 votes
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US fake university racket: Students had no way to check Farmington's authenticity
5 votes -
Trying to figure out my personal craziness
I hope this is the appropriate Tilde for this. If no one has any input it will still have helped me to type this out. TL;DR In over my head with marriage, foster care, family, and work. My wife...
I hope this is the appropriate Tilde for this. If no one has any input it will still have helped me to type this out.
TL;DR In over my head with marriage, foster care, family, and work.
My wife and I became foster parents about 1.5 years ago with the intention to not adopt, but to care for children 3 and under while bio parents worked to regain custody or other permanent placements were arranged. Our first placement was two girls (7 mo and 2.5 yrs) despite wanting to do just one kid at a time (especially to start). We had them for 6 weeks and mom got them back. We had another placement (8 mo boy) for about another 6 weeks. There was a considerable lull and we were getting frustrated about not getting any new placements when the girls from our first placement were placed into custody again. So we were able to take them in again (now about 1.2 and 3.5 yrs). FF to now and we've had them for about 6 months.
We never really intended to have more than one child and for quite this long and we're struggling. My wife has always had a little less ability to weather stressful situations like this and these last 2-3 weeks I'm carrying a lot of weight. In the meantime, bio mom has gotten pregnant and there's not another hearing regarding custody for another 9 months. We fully expect that she will not be able to take them back at that time (or really realistically ever). What should probably happen would be that the county could place the kids into permanent custody (basically getting them adopted). However, from what we've heard from other foster families, temporary custody could drag on for years.
So, our main dilemma is this. We are not equipped (as a couple) to care for these kids for years. With the likely prospect of no change in custody in the near future, it feels like the best thing for these kids would be to get them into the care of someone looking to do this long-term, perhaps to eventually adopt. That being said, we absolutely love them and it feels like some kind of betrayal to force them to make yet another transition. On the other hand, with our limitations, it seems like that is inevitable anyway. Do we try to make that happen sooner?
Some other data points:
Our fostering license expires in October (about a month after the hearing is scheduled) and we don't intend to continue fostering (at least for a while, and definitely not with our current agency).
We don't have many family members close by to give us a hand with the kids, making us feel isolated and making it hard to get breaks from the kids. Our agency has not been very helpful with lining up respite care, but we're trying to be more aggressive about that now.
I've got things pretty well lined up to retire in about 5 years. My company is also just now kicking off a major project of a similar time frame and I'm in a good position to really make a mark before moving on. It will probably require some serious time commitments and effort to do it the way I want to.Thanks for listening.
12 votes -
America's professional elite: Wealthy, successful and miserable
24 votes -
An interview with a guy who wears the same thing every day
15 votes -
An Honest Living - Steve Salaita tries to make sense of his unusual transition from a tenured professorship to an hourly wage driving school buses
10 votes -
Bodyguard in Baghdad - A photo-blog
12 votes -
Who killed Tulum, Mexico? Greed, gringos, diesel, drugs, shamans, seaweed, and a disco ball in the jungle
7 votes -
San Diego-based group wins US suit: Male-only draft unconstitutional
22 votes -
Worked to death at FedEx
9 votes -
What software will you trust when you get senile?
20 votes -
Oakland, Los Angeles and more to come: Why teachers keep going on strike
6 votes -
The deadly truth about a world built for men – from stab vests to car crashes
11 votes -
Magic sluts with psoriasis
8 votes -
When a Newton family welcomed a baby who is deaf, twenty neighbors learned sign language
10 votes -
Obama on masculinity: 'You don't need eight women around you twerking'
17 votes -
Time for happiness - Research consistently shows that the happiest people use their money to buy time
10 votes -
How to grant your child an inner life
8 votes -
'Esquire' criticized for cover story on 'what it’s like to grow up white, middle class, and male'
10 votes -
My life at 47 is back to what it was like at 27 - Post-divorce, I’ve returned to my old ways
15 votes -
Explore the Pearl River Delta megalopolis
4 votes -
Ken Paxton’s strange quest to execute an intellectually disabled man
6 votes -
Loneliness
41 votes -
Inside the resistance movement opposing Daniel Ortega's Trans-Nicaragua Canal
6 votes -
The happiness curve: Why life starts looking up again at the age of 51
5 votes -
Into the zone: Four days inside Chernobyl's secretive 'stalker' subculture
9 votes -
You are horrible people
21 votes -
US Appeals Court rules key anti-age discrimination protections don’t apply to job seekers, only employees
10 votes -
Trapped in a hoax: Survivors of conspiracy theories speak out
11 votes -
This school district in Texas may create its own police force
6 votes -
How debt kills
9 votes -
The case for capping all prison sentences at twenty years
12 votes -
Widow, 81, sole resident of remote island disputed by South Korea and Japan
3 votes -
Home/remote workers, any advice or tips?
I've recently accepted a new developer role for a small tech company where everyone works remotely. I've had experience of working from home as a freelancer in the past and slightly more recently...
I've recently accepted a new developer role for a small tech company where everyone works remotely. I've had experience of working from home as a freelancer in the past and slightly more recently working for a distributed company, although there I was working in a small shared office with one other colleague.
I wondered if anyone has any tips or advice on how best to remain productive as well as avoid distractions and try to keep a work/life balance?
I do intend to eventually find a co-working space but immediately I plan to work from home for at least the first few months.
Thanks!
16 votes -
If you're drugged and raped, the police may never know. Here's why.
6 votes -
Millennial life: How young adulthood today compares with prior generations
10 votes -
Do you realize you're homeless?
8 votes -
'If it gets me, it gets me': The town where residents live alongside polar bears
4 votes -
How to pick a career (that actually fits you)
10 votes -
Body modification – when consent is not a defence
13 votes -
Wright State faculty ends one of the longest strikes at a public university in US history
4 votes -
Dogs "becoming major threat" to wildlife
7 votes -
A four-year-old trapped in a teenager’s body
38 votes -
Why are young people pretending to love work?
31 votes -
Where's Buzzy? Disney World’s stolen animatronic.
5 votes -
How IT managers can get what they need from the HR department
5 votes -
Finland's basic income trial boosts happiness but not employment
26 votes -
A swamp divided: How Donald Trump's arrival turned DC nightlife upside down
4 votes -
#changethestats: A new way of talking about unemployment
3 votes -
Gym class is so bad, kids are skipping school to avoid it
20 votes