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    1. Buying a house relatively soon, lay your advice on me!

      I'm in the market for a house, been looking pretty seriously for the past week or so. I've got two pre-approvals for mortgages, and I think I'll probably look for at least two more for fee...

      I'm in the market for a house, been looking pretty seriously for the past week or so. I've got two pre-approvals for mortgages, and I think I'll probably look for at least two more for fee comparison purposes. I have yet to actually see a house unfortunately, since every house we try to view gets sold that very same day :/ Hopefully the streak is broken, since we have an appointment with another house today!

      Anyway, who here has advice for (any part of the process of) buying a house? Things to look for when viewing a house, things to consider that the common person might not, tips for making offers, tips for not giving up because of the market, etc.

      I'll lead with some tidbits that I've gained from asking around friends and family that have already bought places recently.

      1. Apparently, sending a personal letter to the owners with the offer letter has gotten multiple people a house even when their offer wasn't the highest. For example, my sisters friend knew the owners had a cat, and has cats herself. So in the letter she wrote, she mentioned how happy her cats would be laying on the windows and running around in all the new space and such.... and she got it! The owners realtor was kinda pissed.

      2. Try to find out the reason the owners are moving out. My sister and her husbands realtor asked around, and they were able to close on their house because the owner needed a quick turnaround to get out as fast as possible. They got the house for 60K under asking price because they were able to sweeten the deal to suit the owner.

      3. Location is (generally) more important than furnishings. You can add or remove things from a house, but you can't move it once you buy it.

      4. Once you make an offer on a house and the owner accepts, make sure the contract includes the following two parts that are (apparently) very important:

        • House must appraise for at least the same value you've agreed to buy it at
        • Inspection must show no more than $buyer_defined_value dollars of necessary repairs, otherwise the deal should be re-negotiated or considered void.
      5. Always leave enough money in your savings account to pay for any extras (because there are always extras) after the house is yours. New furniture, carpets, smaller repairs, paint, etc. You don't want to drain your account for the house only to find out you can't do anything afterwards.

      I'm very excited (and exhausted already), but I want to make sure I'm as thorough as possible since I'll be spending the next several years of my life in it!

      Forgot to mention(Thanks @Thra11), this is the US East Coast.

      22 votes
    2. Tildes Screenless Day Discussion Thread - August 2021

      What is a "Screenless Day"? Tildes "Screenless Day" is a simple event aimed at encouraging people to take a temporary step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology and spend their time...

      What is a "Screenless Day"?

      Tildes "Screenless Day" is a simple event aimed at encouraging people to take a temporary step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology and spend their time and energies elsewhere.


      When is it?

      It takes place over the weekend starting on the first Friday of each month. Participants will choose that Friday, Saturday, or Sunday to take as their screenless day -- whichever works best for their schedule.

      Some people might not be able to participate in that window, and that's fine too. They can choose to shift their day earlier or later as needed. It is also completely fine (and encouraged!) to take personal screenless days separate from the event if you like. This thread will be posted the first weekend of each month, but it is open for comments the entire month.


      Does it have to be truly "screenless"?

      "Screenless" is an ideal, not a mandate. The spirit of the day is to deliberately step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology, and what that means is different for each person. Thus, it is up to each participant to determine what "screenless" means to them. Some might only choose to not use social media for a day; some might choose to eliminate all "screens" but still use their ereader; some may maintain some screen use but only for necessity (e.g. work; classes; GPS; etc.). Some might get rid of screens entirely, or go fully "unplugged" for the day.


      How do I participate?

      You do not have to do anything formal at all to participate -- simply take your screenless day in whatever way is best for you!

      If you’d like to, use this thread to share plans for your upcoming screenless day or summaries/reflections about it once it’s over.


      Can I chat in this thread if I'm not participating?

      Yes! The more, the merrier! Discussion from anyone, participant or non-participant alike, is welcome. Though, do understand that it might take a bit longer than normal for some people to respond. :)

      5 votes
    3. How did you find niche stuff before the Internet?

      Over in the topic on the perceptions of teenage boys, it was asked, “How did you find niche stuff before the internet?” I thought this was an interesting question and wanted to open it up to hear...

      Over in the topic on the perceptions of teenage boys, it was asked, “How did you find niche stuff before the internet?” I thought this was an interesting question and wanted to open it up to hear others’ memories about this.

      Edit: Somewhat related, I saw this post today: The most unbelievable things about life before smartphones

      21 votes
    4. I’ve landed my first interview! Any advice?

      After a hiatus of applying for jobs, I got an email from Indeed that really caught my attention. It’s for a programming job in a new-ish framework that has quickly become my favorite to work in. I...

      After a hiatus of applying for jobs, I got an email from Indeed that really caught my attention. It’s for a programming job in a new-ish framework that has quickly become my favorite to work in.

      I applied for that and got back to work on applying to other jobs, different languages and frameworks.

      This morning I got a message from that first job opening, the one I wanted! They reached out to schedule an interview.

      I’ve got really bad social anxiety and a lack of interviewing experience. How do I prepare?

      23 votes
    5. How to not feel lonely?

      Hi, I joined Tildes a long time back but haven't been the most active member. I was recently diagnosed with OCPD by a psychiatrist and I feel I may be codependant as well. Off late I have been...

      Hi,

      I joined Tildes a long time back but haven't been the most active member. I was recently diagnosed with OCPD by a psychiatrist and I feel I may be codependant as well. Off late I have been feeling terrible but don't a lot of people I can talk to -- my SO suffers of OCD and is going through a particularly tough period in her life, she has explicitly said she can't be there for me; I don't quite share a relationship with my friends when I can just call them up in the middle of the night when I'm feeling terrlb;e. I'm feeling exremely lonely; what can I do to not feel this way?

      I would normally describe myslef as emotionally stable, stoic even. However, this recent diagnoses has been quite upsetting; the best way I can describe what I'm feeling is an erosion of my sense of self. I realise all of what I'm feeling my head, and I fear that I may be just imagining most of problems. I'm at a state where I don't quite know what to do anymore, what I need is someone to tell me what do at any given point of time. I can't pursue therapy at the moment due to a variety of constraints but I am reading books which have come heavily recommended from others suffering similarly.

      19 votes
    6. Tips for dealing with bedbugs?

      Hi all, I'm becoming almost certain that my apartment is dealing with a minor bedbug infestation. Do any of you have experience dealing with the things? Specifically, my unit shares a building...

      Hi all, I'm becoming almost certain that my apartment is dealing with a minor bedbug infestation. Do any of you have experience dealing with the things? Specifically, my unit shares a building with about 20 others, so has anybody dealt with infestations in a similar situation? I'm wondering if a heat treatment is even possible or realistic.

      13 votes
    7. Do you know any books, articles, videos, etc. about how relationships (friendships, dating, etc) worked in the past? If so, then why do they rarely appear when people talk about them?

      Occasionally people here get into discussions about social relationships, namely dating, and what quickly comes up is how both of those seem to be less common and harder to 'get'. This more...

      Occasionally people here get into discussions about social relationships, namely dating, and what quickly comes up is how both of those seem to be less common and harder to 'get'. This more frequently happens in overtly dating and relationship subreddits and similar dedicated spaces, albeit, of course, this also pops up in more general communities, alongside any community where social relationships are an important topic, like communities about social ideologies like feminism or the manosphere or about genders because heterosexuality.

      One thing I often find is missing is some historical context. A lot of talk about loneliness and lack of platonic or romantic relationships is basically limited to the recent past, if it even talks about the past at all. It seems like it would be helpful to look at what relationships and dating were like 10, 20, 30 years ago when it comes to talking about the problems or just general state of both today. So do you know of good sources of information concerning relationships in the past? If so, then why do you think they don't pop up in discussions about dating?

      14 votes
    8. Tildes Screenless Day Discussion Thread - July 2021

      What is a "Screenless Day"? Tildes "Screenless Day" is a simple event aimed at encouraging people to take a temporary step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology and spend their time...

      What is a "Screenless Day"?

      Tildes "Screenless Day" is a simple event aimed at encouraging people to take a temporary step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology and spend their time and energies elsewhere.


      When is it?

      It takes place over the weekend starting on the first Friday of each month. Participants will choose that Friday, Saturday, or Sunday to take as their screenless day -- whichever works best for their schedule.

      Some people might not be able to participate in that window, and that's fine too. They can choose to shift their day earlier or later as needed. It is also completely fine (and encouraged!) to take personal screenless days separate from the event if you like. This thread will be posted the first weekend of each month, but it is open for comments the entire month.


      Does it have to be truly "screenless"?

      "Screenless" is an ideal, not a mandate. The spirit of the day is to deliberately step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology, and what that means is different for each person. Thus, it is up to each participant to determine what "screenless" means to them. Some might only choose to not use social media for a day; some might choose to eliminate all "screens" but still use their ereader; some may maintain some screen use but only for necessity (e.g. work; classes; GPS; etc.). Some might get rid of screens entirely, or go fully "unplugged" for the day.


      How do I participate?

      You do not have to do anything formal at all to participate -- simply take your screenless day in whatever way is best for you!

      If you’d like to, use this thread to share plans for your upcoming screenless day or summaries/reflections about it once it’s over.


      Can I chat in this thread if I'm not participating?

      Yes! The more, the merrier! Discussion from anyone, participant or non-participant alike, is welcome. Though, do understand that it might take a bit longer than normal for some people to respond. :)

      8 votes