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  • Showing only topics in ~life with the tag "religion". Back to normal view / Search all groups
    1. Seeking advice from atheist/nonreligious parents: How have you raised your kids to be freethinking amidst a highly religious community and/or extended family?

      This question is particularly regarding kids ages 5-12. I've read some great tips, and I'm wondering what you have found to help. Here are a few: Emphasize boundaries with frequent caretakers,...

      This question is particularly regarding kids ages 5-12. I've read some great tips, and I'm wondering what you have found to help. Here are a few:

      1. Emphasize boundaries with frequent caretakers, such as grandparents and neighbors.
      2. Share science facts, religious traditions, and a variety of creation myths with young kiddos to neutralize Bible stories.
      3. Talk regularly about your own ethics and values.
      4. Explain others' beliefs and contextualize those beliefs as part of their culture.
      26 votes
    2. How do you find community after leaving a religion?

      Hi Tildes! Long time lurker here who recently got an account. I love the long-form thoughtful discussion here and thought this might generate some interesting replies. I and my partner left a...

      Hi Tildes! Long time lurker here who recently got an account. I love the long-form thoughtful discussion here and thought this might generate some interesting replies.

      I and my partner left a high-control religious community (fundamentalist evangelicalism, think a Canadian version of the Shiny Happy People doc) eight years ago, and the experience was like a bomb going off in our life that we still find ourselves recovering from in many ways.

      Growing up in that environment led to us having an extremely strong, and very possibly distorted, sense of what community is. People that treat you like family; bringing meals when you're sick, throwing you wedding showers, helping with home repairs, being shoulders to cry on... the works. Of course, as we later found out, this community could very easily be turned against you by certain powerful members of it, and it turned out there were many many strings attached that only became visible once we bumped up against them. When we left Christianity our entire community essentially disowned and ghosted us and we were left adrift.

      It's now been eight years and we've managed to develop some friendships with folks that we hang out with once in a while, but nothing that even approaches the level of closeness and "family" that we felt in the church.

      But maybe that's not normal or a realistic expectation? The funny thing about being so immersed in a subculture like that your entire life is that when you're suddenly on the outside of it, you realize you don't really have any idea what normal is. I still feel like I don't a lot of the time.

      So: What insight can you share? Has anyone had a similar experience? What do your social communities look like out here in the real world? How do you find them?

      72 votes