My parents made the divorce official after their 25th anniversary, mostly because Mom was determined to make it work, and Dad was determined to not acknowledge that there was a problem, so it was...
My parents made the divorce official after their 25th anniversary, mostly because Mom was determined to make it work, and Dad was determined to not acknowledge that there was a problem, so it was a relatively stable dysfunction.
Are we siblings? My parents were the exact same - mom fighting to make it work, dad not caring. She brought up ideas for how to celebrate their anniversary, trying really hard to mend their...
Are we siblings?
My parents were the exact same - mom fighting to make it work, dad not caring. She brought up ideas for how to celebrate their anniversary, trying really hard to mend their relationship and everything, and all my dad could say was that "there was nothing to celebrate"
My spouse had a college roommate whose parents split after their youngest graduated college. Apparently they had been unhappy for years and "stayed together for the kids." They must have done a...
My spouse had a college roommate whose parents split after their youngest graduated college. Apparently they had been unhappy for years and "stayed together for the kids." They must have done a good job at it because the kids had no idea and were pretty devastated when they found out. And what's worse, apparently it was a fairly bitter breakup that had been brewing for years. I think it really freaked out my spouse's roommate because she didn't marry until she was about 20 years out of college, despite having mentioned previously that she was looking forward to doing so.
Is it though? Nothing suggests that they "just call it quits " and I feel that if you've been married that long you probably know each other pretty well and therefore it's the right decision....
Is it though? Nothing suggests that they "just call it quits " and I feel that if you've been married that long you probably know each other pretty well and therefore it's the right decision. Seems straight forward to me.
“Over the last 27 years, we have raised three incredible children and built a foundation that works all over the world to enable all people to lead healthy, productive lives. We continue to share a belief in that mission and will continue our work together at the foundation, but we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives. We ask for space and privacy for our family as we begin to navigate this new life.”
It's a pretty high bar when you think about it. The expectation that if two people decide to start a relationship sometime in their 20s (or 30s), that they will both grow and have life experiences...
It's a pretty high bar when you think about it. The expectation that if two people decide to start a relationship sometime in their 20s (or 30s), that they will both grow and have life experiences that leave them changed in the exact way that the relationship still makes sense 10, 20, 40 years later. It's a carryover from when "until death do you part" actually ment sometime into your 40s when one of you inevitably died from a disease, accident, or war.
I once heard a suggestion years ago that instead of married for life, we should instead have 5 or 10 year civil contracts that auto-expire. Want to renew after 5 years and stay together? Go for it. Want to amicably separate and try out a different path in life? No hard feelings. It really intrigued me at the time, and made me think a lot about societal expectations and rituals around marriage.
To expand on this, it's because "life expectancy" is an average and there were a lot more babies and children dying that pulled the average down. If two parents live to 100 and they have 2 kids...
To expand on this, it's because "life expectancy" is an average and there were a lot more babies and children dying that pulled the average down. If two parents live to 100 and they have 2 kids who both die soon after birth, the family's life expectancy is 50yrs. It's not hard to see how the population life expectancy (average) could get down to the 30s or 40s.
This is how I've always viewed marriage so besides "contracts" that how it is in my book anyway and I'm married.
I once heard a suggestion years ago that instead of married for life, we should instead have 5 or 10 year civil contracts that auto-expire. Want to renew after 5 years and stay together? Go for it. Want to amicably separate and try out a different path in life? No hard feelings. It really intrigued me at the time, and made me think a lot about societal expectations and rituals around marriage.
This is how I've always viewed marriage so besides "contracts" that how it is in my book anyway and I'm married.
My parents made the divorce official after their 25th anniversary, mostly because Mom was determined to make it work, and Dad was determined to not acknowledge that there was a problem, so it was a relatively stable dysfunction.
Are we siblings?
My parents were the exact same - mom fighting to make it work, dad not caring. She brought up ideas for how to celebrate their anniversary, trying really hard to mend their relationship and everything, and all my dad could say was that "there was nothing to celebrate"
My spouse had a college roommate whose parents split after their youngest graduated college. Apparently they had been unhappy for years and "stayed together for the kids." They must have done a good job at it because the kids had no idea and were pretty devastated when they found out. And what's worse, apparently it was a fairly bitter breakup that had been brewing for years. I think it really freaked out my spouse's roommate because she didn't marry until she was about 20 years out of college, despite having mentioned previously that she was looking forward to doing so.
Is it though? Nothing suggests that they "just call it quits " and I feel that if you've been married that long you probably know each other pretty well and therefore it's the right decision. Seems straight forward to me.
It's a pretty high bar when you think about it. The expectation that if two people decide to start a relationship sometime in their 20s (or 30s), that they will both grow and have life experiences that leave them changed in the exact way that the relationship still makes sense 10, 20, 40 years later. It's a carryover from when "until death do you part" actually ment sometime into your 40s when one of you inevitably died from a disease, accident, or war.
I once heard a suggestion years ago that instead of married for life, we should instead have 5 or 10 year civil contracts that auto-expire. Want to renew after 5 years and stay together? Go for it. Want to amicably separate and try out a different path in life? No hard feelings. It really intrigued me at the time, and made me think a lot about societal expectations and rituals around marriage.
It's simply not true that it was commonplace to die in your 40s in the past.
To expand on this, it's because "life expectancy" is an average and there were a lot more babies and children dying that pulled the average down. If two parents live to 100 and they have 2 kids who both die soon after birth, the family's life expectancy is 50yrs. It's not hard to see how the population life expectancy (average) could get down to the 30s or 40s.
more reading: BBC: Do we really live longer than our ancestors?
This is how I've always viewed marriage so besides "contracts" that how it is in my book anyway and I'm married.
I wonder if they’d had issues for years, but had kept things quiet.
I guess the Foundation of their marriage wasn't as strong as they hoped!