11 votes

Does anyone here have daydreams so intense that they can't think about anything else?

I have been experiencing this for 3-4 years now. It used to be that I daydream only when I am bored lying in the bed but for the past year my daydreams have been becoming more and more involved in my life. I can't think of myself as anything but my character in my dreams. It lasts for hours in a day and is sometimes my only source of joy. I sometimes am so out of it that an hour has passed of me dreaming and I don't remember what I was doing originally. I honestly don't really feel comfortable in my real body either. I want to live as the person I see in my daydreams. Is there anyone who experiences this or has recovered from it? I am honestly really scared...

8 comments

  1. [4]
    Dovey
    Link
    You may want to do some reading about "maladaptive daydreaming." After suffering (yes, suffering) from this for most of my life, I found it really eased off when I hit my 50s. Age? Menopause?...

    You may want to do some reading about "maladaptive daydreaming." After suffering (yes, suffering) from this for most of my life, I found it really eased off when I hit my 50s. Age? Menopause? Experience, including many years of therapy? I don't know what made the difference but I'm seldom troubled with it any more.

    Several years ago I found a subreddit about it (r/maladaptivedreaming), if you're interested in reading others' experiences. Best of luck to you!

    6 votes
    1. [2]
      cfabbro
      Link Parent
      Related article from today: Study suggests maladaptive daydreaming should be classified as a unique mental disorder, distinct from ADHD
      3 votes
      1. Dovey
        Link Parent
        Thanks so much for posting! I'm happy to see this getting some serious attention at last. I don't believe I fall into the ADHD category, but it's interesting to see how much crossover there is.

        Thanks so much for posting! I'm happy to see this getting some serious attention at last. I don't believe I fall into the ADHD category, but it's interesting to see how much crossover there is.

        2 votes
    2. lie
      Link Parent
      Thanks a lot ,will checkout the subreddit.

      Thanks a lot ,will checkout the subreddit.

      2 votes
  2. [2]
    cardigan
    Link
    I have done this for as long as I can remember, and am like you in that I do it in part to escape my body, and that I want to live as the person I imagine. It isn't always the same person, but I...

    I have done this for as long as I can remember, and am like you in that I do it in part to escape my body, and that I want to live as the person I imagine. It isn't always the same person, but I never imagine being myself, either. When things get worse for me, I go deeper into my daydreams. Often, I want it to happen, and encourage it, so that I can get out of whatever situation I'm in.

    It's difficult to explain what it's like to people who don't picture things that vividly. I don't seriously see or hear anything; it's more that I have the awareness or memory that I've just seen or heard something, in the same way that I "remember" seeing a door close seconds after it happened. This is how it can become dangerous, as once it's in that state, everything just blends together -- the things that really happened, and the things that didn't.

    Although it's been going on for years, I've only recently started writing fiction to try and channel it. That helps and hurts: helping by giving it some outlet, and hurting in the sense that as it gets more elaborate, it's more tempting for me to dissociate from life.

    5 votes
    1. lie
      Link Parent
      You have described my feelings way better than I ever could. In my dreams I am never myself it is someone with a completely different identity, personality and memories than me. It is pretty cool...

      You have described my feelings way better than I ever could. In my dreams I am never myself it is someone with a completely different identity, personality and memories than me. It is pretty cool that you can channel it into something creative.

      3 votes
  3. Akir
    Link
    Somewhat, yes, when I was young. School wasn't challenging to me so there was a lot of time I spent in my imagination. The best ones, though, were when I had the occasional super-real feeling...

    Somewhat, yes, when I was young. School wasn't challenging to me so there was a lot of time I spent in my imagination. The best ones, though, were when I had the occasional super-real feeling dream that feels like it's actually a memory, because those were often filled with detail and emotion that I could pop back into my head to explore again and again.

    At that period of time I tried other avenues to expand my conciousness and imagination was often a big part of it. I experimented with things like lucid dreaming and self hypnosis, and at one time I even tried to create a tulpa.

    The thing with me was that those always ended up being fun distractions. Sure, I'd rather stay in them vs. real life; real life was painfully boring! But at the same time there was always something tying me back to real life.

    It seems your daydreams are serving you a similar purpose, so let me ask you, are you happy with your life?

    You say you want to be the person you see in your daydreams, but what's stopping you? You can always be who you want to be.

    Finally, it seems like this is really distressing you. If you're worried about this being a mental health issue, you should just talk to a psychologist.

    4 votes
  4. lou
    (edited )
    Link
    Yes, I have that tendency. I don't think it's healthy, after a while imaginating it is frustrating falling back to reality. Nowadays I actively avoid it, but I fail many times. I have so many...

    Yes, I have that tendency. I don't think it's healthy, after a while imaginating it is frustrating falling back to reality. Nowadays I actively avoid it, but I fail many times. I have so many plans for what I would do if I got rich, and I don't even play the lottery.

    Things that help me:

    • zen meditation
    • conscious breathing
    • doing stuff that is cool now. Shorter term goals, projects, hobbies, etc.
    3 votes