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I'm trying to find a blog about online communities and the paradox of tolerance
I remember I came across it here, probably posted by @Deimos in the course of a thread about Tildes' philosophy. The essence of the blog was that the truly nice, sweet people among us that make online forums a better place with their positive interactions are more sensitive to tensions and negative interactions than the average person, so they'd be likely to leave at a lower level of trolling than most of us would, resulting in a net negative for everyone on the site. Could have sworn I bookmarked it...
Might be On a technicality? (Particularly the “Evaporative cooling” section)
Bingo! "Evaporative cooling," I knew there was a neat term for it. Thanks kfwyre :)