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Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (June 2023)
This is a monthly thread for those who need it. Vent, share your experiences, ask for advice, talk about how you are doing. Let's make this a compassionate space for all who may need one.
Hi! I'm doing pretty well considering usually I have a shitload of issues going on simultaneously. I just wanted to pop in and say that this is an awesome thread even if there aren't a ton of responses yet. It's always good to have a place to vent!
Hi! Struggling a lot of I'm being honest. Stuck in a rut of sleep, eat, gym, work and repeat and it's messing with my head a bit. Not a lot to look forward to and feeling more and more disconnected from friends. Not terribly fun and, well, quite tiring.
Are you amicable with any coworkers? I got lucky and loved spending lunch or staying late for a drink with my past coworkers. If you can cultivate that relationship, would be good. I don't even drink so we'd just hang at a bar and talk about random shit so you don't have to be exclusively interested with their stuff.
Also, no gym buddy? Guarantee there's someone in your life who could use one. Would get you some social interaction.
Yeah, I am good friends with someone from work and go to the office once a week to hang. No gym buddy...none of my friends work out or have any interest to :(
I know this is an old comment but I feel the same with feeling lonely with the same kind of routine. I love going to the gym, however I’m not sure I could ever work out with someone. I’m afraid I’d never get any of my workouts done because I’d be talking all the time.
And I work from home so I’m even more isolated. So you’d think I’d use this time being around others to maybe make friends, or at least an acquaintance. But I honestly don’t because I don’t want to be a bother to anyone. And I don’t think I would mesh well with anyone that goes to my gym. Its either old dudes, younger guys, and moms that do cardio. I’m neither of those things (childfree female in late 30s). So. I just keep to myself.
I'm a few weeks back on Ritalin to treat my ADHD. It seems to be filling in the gaps of my anxiety meds pretty nicely. Best I can guess is that a lot of my anxiety is actually the result of the ADHD and so treating that is eliminating a lot of the anxiety. Real-world impact of this is that I've had less social anxiety, which is huge. I went to a memorial day cookout mostly anxiety-free. I've also had 2 virtual meet-and-greet meetings at work and neither one fazed me at all. And biggest is that I took my kids to a playground alone and had a really good interaction with a fellow parent and her kids. All of that is usually a major source of anxiety for me, but I was able to enjoy it all now.
I have adhd and on one of the support groups I’m in I hear that a lot. People were suicidally depressed and chronically anxious and when their adhd was treated it all reduced or went away (for most, obviously not all). I personally chose not to medicate but I’m really glad you found what works for you <3
Not at all trying to change your mind, of course. I fully respect that stance and decision with regards to medication. Just sharing my journey because I don't get to talk about it or ADHD nearly enough.
Not wanting to be medicated for the rest of my life is what led me to quit taking my medication once I was old enough to make that decision. I kind of resented that I was medicated most of my childhood and just quit entirely. I went through about a decade of adulthood untreated before I started to get more educated on ADHD and that's when I changed my mind. As a kid it was "take your medicine" or "did you take your medicine?!" with very little focus on what the underlying disorder was. My parents were super supportive and tried to help me stay organized and on-task as a kid, but it just never worked. I wish we'd talked more about what ADHD was, how symptoms manifest, how certain behaviors are the result of it, etc.
Anyway, started to educate myself more, go to therapy, and taking the meds. I think all 3 are a huge part of why I'm (somewhat) able to manage my ADHD. Meds definitely have the most obvious and immediate impact though.
I’ve got nothing against medication at all! It’s helped so many people. I’ve got a life built around my adhd so I don’t overly find it negatively impacting my life. However I’ve got a history of psychosis and cptsd and I don’t want to destabilise my mental health with medication when I’m doing so well
This is pretty much exactly where I am right now with my ADHD. 9 years off my meds, started really learning exactly how my ADHD was affecting me a couple years ago and I'm just about to tackle the medical system to try to get back on my medication. But that hurdle feels daunting to the point where my ADHD kicks in and is making me put it off.
My psychiatrist recommended trying ritalin to treat my ADHD. I said i didn't want to because I'd have to be drug tested to do it. I use marijuana, like, a couple times a month so it's not that important to me, but I still didn't want someone babysitting me in a sense. I wonder if I should about face and try it. I have gotten better with therapy, but the effect is limited. I also tried Bupropion in the past, but I couldn't sleep even on the low doses.
Does Ritalin help at all with the anxiety? In my mind it seems like it could only make it worse? Since anxiety is that heightened state of constant... buzzing. Doesn't a stimulant just make you buzz more?
Oh yeah, I've watched Barkley's videos before. Super informative, I really enjoyed them. I'm still hesitant about trying any scheduled meds... but I'll give it some more thought.
I was also nervous about this as anxiety is my biggest mental health struggle. My anxiety went from a 19 to a 3 using the PHQ. I have an anxious mind, so when I’m unmediated my mind races and finds anxious thoughts. On medication my mind doesn’t race and so those thoughts don’t bother me. At least, this is how my psychiatrist explained it. I don’t really experience “racing thoughts” because that is just how I’ve always been. I didn’t realize other people experienced any differently.
Yeah the rules around controlled substances are a massive pain in the ass. I lost my prescription with a previous doctor because I kept forgetting to take my meds. Exhibiting a trait of the disorder (forgetfulness) was labeled "self-medicating". Years later I still can't get ADHD treatment from that office, but there's zero issue with me going to a different provider to get a prescription. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
But more to your point, I think it varies from doctor to doctor. I've never had to take a drug test for ritalin. I don't really smoke often either, but enough that random screenings would either be problematic or lead me to entirely give up weed. In principle, that's total bullshit. But I'd probably give it up in a heart beat to continue my ADHD treatment.
Not doing very well. BPD go vrrrrrr...
I had therapy this morning, then slept all day, then relapsed in the early evening. I guess therapy just knocks me out - talking about trauma is exhausting. I'm mostly alright during the sessions but I don't feel equipped to deal with the negative train of thought or downwards spiraling that always happens after.
I keep getting reminded of that Mattson quote from Succession lol, it's genuinely how life feels sometimes: "as much failure as possible, as fast as possible"
Anyway, I'm really trying to not see relapsing as a failure per say. Because I had been not cutting for two weeks, and today is just 1 day... It feels like having to gaslight myself into thinking that way, but yeah.
Therapy is indeed tiring - sending you a virtual hug 🫂
Thank you <3
I still remember the first session I allowed myself to criticise my partner (attachment issues from childhood) and wow I spiralled so hard. I ended up getting drunk all day to take the edge off so I wouldn’t be a danger to myself!
I personally found seeing it as a big picture, the cutting, and not times off and relapse was really helpful. As long as I was finding healthier ways to cope sometimes and my usage was overall going down then I was going in the right direction. There’s always going to be a day one if you see it that way but if you used a healthy coping method for something that a year ago you would have cut for then that’s a win even if you stumble on the next step. I haven’t cut regularly in ten years but still this week I went over my threshold of coping and scratched up my legs, I don’t see that as day one I see it as a good time to reflect on what I need to do to support myself better
Sorry getting a little rambly there, I’m very passionate about trauma support/recovery and just general mental health. I have cptsd and have had to do most of the work myself to form a functioning brain because the mental health system where I am is pretty terrible with cptsd and often retraumatises people. Rambling again, did I mention I also have adhd lol
All this to say - I feel you. As long as you know you’re doing the best you can then you should be so proud of yourself. I love the quote from lotr:
We don’t chose the cards we’re dealt, only how to play them the best we can
Sending virtual hugs to you as well. Life can be hard in many ways. May you be safe and find your way through it all
It was apparently time for my whack-upside-the-head reminder that psychoneuroimmunology is a meaningful explanation for at least some proportion of mental health issues. My depression basically ceased to be a problem for over a year, since getting an underlying immune disease properly treated.
A couple of weeks ago, I caught the latest strain of human metapneumovirus that's going around, and the return of The Dark has been grim. I'm still at the "is it too much work to chew food, or shall I just wait for the world to end?" level of drained, foggy exhaustion.
No question it's due to all the cytokines floating around from the viral infection. Meanwhile, I've just been trying to go through the motions of life waiting for this mood to get better on its own. Physically, I'm feeling better and my energy is coming back, so hopefully the rest of the chemistry will settle down soon.
I think you have a healthy outlook and good clarity of what's happening to you as a reaction of the viral infection. :)
I've had way too many sad and difficult things happen in the past few years but I'm only going to whine about more recent stuff. For a while last year I was on the edge of death and didn't know if I'd make it. Thankfully the doctors caught the medication side effect in time, stopped that med, and performed the surgery required to save my life. That was one of the extremely rare side effects of that medicine, lucky me. As I was finally starting to feel better from the long term effects of that, I was injured in an accident with a vehicle much larger than the one I was riding in (the driver of the vehicle I was in wasn't hurt, thankfully).
I am extremely lucky to still be alive. I am still trying to feel better. I always keep going but I need lots of extra hugs from my family now days.
I will extend an internet hug that you can accept or leave :D ~hug~
That sounds like quite the (mis)adventure you've had in recent years. I find it's very difficult to feel well when I'm physically not 90%
Families are great huh :) a therapist recently told me that I'd one is having a bad day, sometimes even being able to open the blinds and lean back into bed is well done.
I'll take the internet hug, thank you! If you ever need an internet hug, let me know!
Yup, I've been through a lot and I know I'm not alone in that. Good families are awesome and I'm very grateful for my loved ones. I don't know if I would have survived without their help.
I hope you have loved ones to fall back on in times of need. I agree with your therapist. Something is better than nothing and any little bit of progress is good.
I’m both doing really really well and really horribly. I’m so proud of how far I’ve come with my cptsd and other bits. I have a functioning brain, woo! But my partner is currently hitting rock bottom with addiction and it’s crippling me trying to support him. He is trying and getting help for himself etc but these things take time and I just need stuff to look forward to. Ill get there and we’ll get there but this sucks
Not great! I had to spend a couple of months off my meds (ADHD) because of supply issues. I fell behind on my work, the stress was destroying me, I had a bit of a meltdown and left my main client of almost a decade.
That was back in March. I've been back on my meds since April, but unsuccessful in finding enough work to replace my lost income. I do voice-over work, and after a very long time with just a couple of clients, I'm not very practiced at finding clients. I spent a while getting my website back up and running, recording new demo reels, making changes to both those things based on feedback, and email blasting potential clients without much luck.
At this point, I can't afford to pay my credit card bills, I owe my roommate most of two months' rent, and it's starting to feel hopeless. I've been looking for other work to fill in the gaps, but after a successful interview the other day, I realized the great job offer I'd gotten was most likely an identity theft scam.
I went crawling back to my ex-main client last night, leaving a long message in Slack explaining why I had behaved so out-of-character in just caving to internal pressures, and asked if he would take me back on in some capacity. No response yet.
So, yeah. Not feeling great! I've been in much worse mental states though, not fully surrendering to hopelessness quite yet.
Something that's helpful for me in times of great stress, fear and pain is the concept of Newton's third law. This is a concept I've leaned on for a long time now (wrote a song about it almost a decade ago). Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Applied to happiness, in short, we're only capable of feeling the low lows because we've experienced the high highs. Emotion doesn't exist within a vacuum, and there's always the possibility of seeing the flip-side of that coin again.
That framework has kept me optimistic when I have no reason to be. I've been wanting to get an Isaac Newton tattoo for years, gotta get on that when I've got money coming in again.
Interesting take on emotions. Im mildly bipolar (the middlin' kind, not the super high and low kind) and thats exactly how I feel about emotions. There's an equal and opposite reaction. When the high has been around for awhile, I know that a low is coming. But knowing that it cycles is helpful because I know the low wont last forever. Its just really annoying til the high comes back and I can be productive again. Sometimes I envy 'level' people, but on the other hand, being a bit 'high' is great because I can do good things, and do them quickly and efficiently.
I'm just ok. Trying to do a career change
Mentally I feel great. But I do feel a bit lonely since I'm single. Been looking for a new person to spend my time with, but online dating sucks and I don’t drink so it’s hard to go out to a bar to meet new people. Not to mention the lack of experience I have with dating has my confidence low.
I’ve had a few dates here and there over the years, but haven’t found the right person yet. I’ll know when I find her of course, but it’s getting tougher.
It’s been a rough week — we had to put our dog (read: best friend) down a week ago today and I’m really missing him still.
It’s getting easier with time, but I sure do hate that part of pet ownership :(
I'm so sorry for your loss. :( That's the worst part of pet ownership.
Thank you. It’s tough for sure, but it’s worth it for all of the good times along the way.
Im sorry that had to happen. It definitely hurts and people who have never loved a dog dont realize that it is as painful or even more painful than losing a human member of your family. I do believe though, that all dogs go to heaven, and we will see them again.
Not great. My meds haven't been working for about a month. The next psychiatrist appointment isn't until mid July. The episodes are getting harder and harder to control.
Hoping things are going as well as they can. 💕
I guess the best description would be apprehension, but a good apprehension? Today marks the beginning of my last ten days of secondary school, which still feels weird to say. I'm going off to a performing arts college in September, which is very exciting but also scary. I've got a summer which will probably be full of things I can do, including a week away in Wales with a few of my friends, which will be my first holiday w/o my family. Guess I'm just growing up...
Well, at risk of this being TMI … hormonal/emotional. I’m about to turn 40 and as a female, most are lead to believe that we become irrelevant, invisible and haggard once we hit that milestone.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel leading up to it, my birthday is on Monday. I haven’t been doing well with my birthdays in my 30s, and this milestone is just downright scary.
So I’m not doing that great, and I guess I can’t just put my head in the sand and hide. Guess I’ll have to ride it out.
I was going to write that you'll still be you, and the passage of time is inherently a neutral thing.
You'll be a day older than 39, just as tomorrow you'll be a day older from now.
The same as everyone who is fortunate to survive today will be a day older tomorrow.
... But I'm not sure if that will help you (and might sound condescending to boot, sorry if that's the case). So I'll ask what do you think will be different after your birthday?
What do I think will be different after tomorrow? Other than being a year older and hopefully wiser, nothing really. That does help give some perspective, thank you 😊
I sometimes wrestle with these feelings too, but then I tell myself:
20 year olds are old in the perspective of 16 year olds, yet I think 80 year olds look at people in their 60's as still having a good chunk of road before them. So imagine 40 years! Quite young too, yet with maturity. I'm not there yet (mid 30's myself) but I imagine it could be a very interesting time.
And quantity of time is a whole different ballgame to quality of time. It's only the latter where you have somewhat control over too.
So happy birthday! I hope you can enjoy yourself today. If not, no worries. You can always party another day too.
Thank you so much. Very helpful (:
I’ve also heard 40 is the old age of youth. And I certainly don’t feel 40. I still feel like I’m in my late 20s/early thirties!
I think I’ll definitely try and enjoy today as much as possible. Going to hit the gym and sauna so that’ll definitely set the tone for the day.
I am adhd. Been diagnosed since forever, only just recently medicated again. I was before, but that is a long story. Now that I am medicated, I am doing really well now.
I've been thinking about asking my therapist to evaluate me for ADHD, but I keep second-guessing myself and forgetting to write down symptoms or at least things I notice. My friends who are already diagnosed have brought it up to me when we talk about things we've experienced. I know I've come a long way through therapy for handling my depression+anxiety, especially the spiraling, but now I worry about how I'd come off to my therapist. Even though that doesn't make sense? Maybe the next few days I'll start writing down things I notice, my appointment is on Wednesday.
It's definitely worth bringing it up.
Just make sure you don't bring it up in a way that makes it sound like you've already decided that you have it.
Anxiety and depression are often comorbid with untreated ADHD, but anxiety and depression can also present similar symptoms to ADHD, so it's really common for doctors to rule those causes out before considering ADHD.
But if you have the Primarily Inattentive type of ADHD (which is basically ADHD without the hyperactivity), it's extremely common for it to go unnoticed in childhood because of the absence of visible symptoms (e.g., unable to stay still, high energy). One great indicator that you probably have ADHD-PI is if the phrase "@Wisix does really well when they apply themselves" was a common theme on your report cards and parent teacher conferences.
I didn't get my diagnosis until I was in college. In high school, I was able to get by because I was smart enough that I could still get solid Bs without having to study and just doing my homework in the period before, but obviously that kind of thing didn't fly in college, so the problem became a lot more obvious.
This is helpful! Thank you. I'll have to ask my mom if she remembers reading that in my report cards. I know that was definitely my experience in college, but I was so burned out by senior year that my grades slipped immensely. I'm not sure how much was burnout and how much could have been ADHD, but that'd be a question for whoever evaluates me, I figure. I currently have a diagnosis of depression and generalized anxiety disorder, treated only through therapy appointments (by my choice). I started writing a list of all the symptoms I've been experiencing, it's hard to not just write off some of them as "anxiety only" when I know there's overlap.
Can I just point out how adhd it is to be forgetting to write down your symptoms of adhd lol
I got diagnosed as an adult a few years ago and I remember really struggling to write down my symptoms before my assessment because I kept forgetting lol. I’ve been getting an accommodation at work for ear plugs and I procrastinated getting a letter from my doctor for about three months, again classic adhd. I just find anything like that amusing because of the irony
I kept telling myself I'd do it for months now, and then would forget to write it down, then my therapy appointment would happen and I'd forget to bring it up. To be fair, there were quite the few other issues going on that I needed to work through too, but I'm doing better with those now.
I was diagnosed a few years ago. I went to a clinical neuropsychiatrist, who gave me a battery of tests (mostly attention- and memory-related). I forget what that battery of tests was called, but it seemed like a good diagnostic tool, and the report I got back was very detailed and interesting. I'd suggest seeing if your therapist is familiar with this, or can point you in the right direction.
I'm not sure, but I will see what she says! Maybe she can recommend someone.
My psychiatrist doesn’t recommend neuro-psych testing, especially for later-in-life diagnoses, mostly because it’s expensive, but also because it’s only a few hours and she finds people who have compensated their whole lives can usually compensate for the duration of a test.
This will be an all-day test, and I can't get any more help here for it without a diagnosis. They will test for more than just ADHD at the place I'm going to for it.
I just wanted to make you aware of this possibility in case your test is negative or borderline. My friend had neuropsych testing and loved the insights it gave. But my psych didn’t want to refer me and that was the reason she told me.
My psychologist did refer me. We went through everything and while some symptoms were my GAD, the rest could very well be ADHD. If it turns out it's not, maybe there's another explanation for why my brain is the way it is and why I have issues that so many don't apparently.
Thank you for these! I watched the shorter excerpt first and saved the playlist for later. I like how it's broken up so it's easy to watch.
Okay so, follow up: my therapist says some of it is my GAD, but the rest sounds like it could be ADHD. She referred me to a local mental health center that does evaluations and takes my insurance. They have a big waitlist, but my appointments are scheduled for October.
I feel like my plan to convince my psychiatrist to put me on mood stabilizers is failing before it started. I just can't get access to a bipolar diagnosis.
What symptoms or observations led you to the assessment that you should be on mood stabilizers?
Looked back at this comment from september 2021 and I'm actually even worse off now than back then.
Early on last year my dad died, and I don't have an internship or anything like that anymore either. I also feel like my energy and willpower has pretty much gone down to rock bottom, I just feel like I'm constantly tired and nothing can really revitalize that. Don't have much interest in anything anymore either.
Kinda feel like a human tumbleweed.
I am not doing well. Apparently I have CPTSD, as a result of years of being treated like property and without any privacy, in a few cases being in situations that are abusive which i never faced much of an apology for, as well as being fucked by the school system for having ADHD. Because of the school system I switched to homeschool when i realised that it was not possible for me to continue doing school, so now i live in isolation without meeting anyone i can relate to. I did have two 'friends' who I kept in my contacts, but one of them never responds so i stopped texting them, and the other started to start ignoring me after i came out as trans (when i did he called me a fag, and then said that he was ok with me being trans, which he clearly wasn't).
The worst thing about this is living with the things that trigger me, resulting in episodes of crying and anger and pure mental agony, sometimes multiple in a day. And when i am in these episodes, i have to try to make myself quiet as to not let anyone know that i am suffering. Often times i have to suppress my feelings, or huff markers, or smoke cigarrettes or reefer, or cut myself.
I have been planning on escaping, i need to get girl clothes and a smart phone. But i keep on procastinating it. Thus i am considering suicide (really i've been on and off considering it for the past years). I wish i could give my life to someone who deserves it more, like a kid with cancer or something. Because i know that i will do fuck all with my life, and probably die anyways sooner than most people. I will never get a job, get meaningful friends, or a relationship. Either they will treat me bad again or i will drive them away. I wish there was someone else to save me, and to make it all ok. Or at least, a shoulder to cry on. But I will never have that.
If i do escape i'll probably be homeless for the rest of my life. Its better, but i really wish there was another choice.
I think this runs in my family. I know my grandpa (and to be clear, my grandparents, while imperfect are probably the best people i know. It hurts very deeply to know that if i run away i will probably never see them again) ran away when he was near my age. And one of his daughters ran off when she was young, had multiple relationships which didn't work out, and is off somewhere without a job, completely alone, depressed, and going through addiction. When i did call her, she was the most relatable person to talk to that i ever knew.
Lol i think thats all i had to get out of my system. Remember to have compassion for your fellow man, and to remember that all the minorities, the queer people, the mentally ill people, the poor people, drug users, women, people of lower castes, etc are all human, and that we are sentient.
Edit: Fuck i have lice now. Life just keeps on getting better
I think I have reached a point where I can commit to quitting drinking alcohol. My process started with me being concerned about half a handle of booze disappearing in a week, or me knocking back half a 750ml bottle in a night . The only issue is I was going to miss beer.
I fixed it, mostly. There's a lot of great non-alcoholic beer which scratches the flavor itch. I've tried anything I can get my hands on from Budweiser Zero to a local NA craft brew (Bravus, for anybody interested) and realize that I can enjoy these flavors for a fraction of the calories and none of the issues.
I was never a "drunk every day" person but I had a few drinks every day, paced over hours, but would occasionally binge, sometimes for a cycle of weeks, sometimes just one bad night and was likely never going to hit rock bottom or anything, but was tired of how I was living. Today I cracked one of those Budweisers and thought "I probably just don't need alcohol anymore" mostly in the context of that flavor. To me this felt like a big moment, because I realized I can have the beverages I enjoy (basic to hoppy beer) worh none of the issues now.
I'm just glad I had the thought while not hung over. I'm still in a mode where I just won't drink at home, as I do fine socially where I have to order a drink. Having my own bottle of whiskey nearby is sort of my personal hazard (I don't drink others' without permission, and courtesy demands limits that I respect).
I'm hanging in there. I got diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia a few months ago. I've been on modafinil and just recently got the go-ahead to take a second pill later in the day and it's mostly been helpful. Each day is kind of a crapshoot regarding my lucidity and energy level. I'm still dealing with regular bouts of dissociation which I'm sure is my brain dealing with this constant messed up sleep situation. In therapy I'm mainly working on trying to just learn how to live my "new" life because it's for sure quite a bit different.
I am burnt out and need a break
Context - the stuff I'm dealing with includes both social and general anxiety, chronic depression, OCD, sensory processing disorder (my hearing in particular is very sensitive), very low self-esteem, and unresolved trauma. It also seems to be quite likely that I have ADHD, ASD, and PTSD, though I haven't been formally diagnosed with those.
Had a particularly bad dental appointment yesterday that ended up setting off my sensitivity something really fierce - fiercer than I can recall having happened in a long time. Even after spending the rest of the day trying to recover, I'm still doing pretty poorly today. Might end up cancelling a different appointment I have on Thursday if I don't feel any better by tomorrow morning (which I can't see happening, combined with other stressors).
At times like this, I can't help but wonder how I'm ever going to manage on my own. Seven years of trying to target and get my SPD under control and it's barely gotten better; while it's been closer to 13 for my anxiety and depression and I've gotten a lot better in those regards, they're still pretty debilitating. I can't leave the house on my own, I can't cook, I can't drive, I can't do much in the way of household chores... It's not just household stuff, either; because of my SPD, sometimes some people's voices will just grate on me to no end, and there's nothing I can do about it - which means voice chat is almost never an option, because how do you politely say "sorry, but I can't stand your voice"? And even with friends whose voices I already know, it's still stressful, especially since I tend to tire out pretty quickly too.
Yeah, shit kinda sucks right now. :( The fact I'm so terrible at reaching out to people and talking about how I'm really feeling sucks, too. My childhood experiences have conditioned me so hard to not want to trouble people with my problems and to keep things bottled up that I still can't break the habit, even now.
I for one, am glad you can post it here and I'm happy I read it.
I am actually ok.
There's a LOT on right now but I'm supporting people, doing what I can and have just taught my younger son (teen) to swim. Long story about why this is relatively late in his life.
The sun being out and warm weather plays a big part I think but I'm just starting to get a bit healthier so really all good.
Could I just add that I appreciate the question being asked and having a place to put some thoughts about it down. I think that helps, so thanks tildes. :)
Doing okay presently, but I know my last disability check will come next Friday and I'll need to sell my home. Then I get to figure out where I'll live then. Not an exciting thought.