I don't like fate because I am not in control of my life

Of course fate is an entirely human concept, not an inherent force to the universe. Ideas like fate only work due to confirmation bias.

But if by fate you mean the lack of free will, then that's a bit different. I don't believe there is such a thing as free will. Elements to the universe are either deterministic or random. For those things that are deterministic (most things at the macro scale) you play no role. It's a pure chain reaction of interactions between objects. For things that are non-deterministic, like some things on the quantum scale, I would argue that the pure randomness also removes any room for free will. You can not determine the outcome of a purely random event and if you could influence it that would make it deterministic.

To me “fate” is just a catch-all term for things the lie outside my control, directly or otherwise. I don’t treat that in a fatalist way, like “oh there is nothing I can ever do about this” but it does help with accepting things as they are on a certain level.

This reminds me of when people go to Buddhist monks and ask about their future.

The monk asks, "Would you like me to tell you your future?"

...

"It's uncertain"

I don't believe in anticipating the future or reconciling the past. That stuff doesn't matter to me as much as the here and now.

Your post reminded me of this snippet from The Gods of Pegāna:

In the mists before THE BEGINNING, Fate and Chance cast lots to decide whose the Game should be; and he that won strode through the mists to MANA-YOOD-SUSHAI and said: "Now make gods for Me, for I have won the cast and the Game is to be Mine." Who it was that won the cast, and whether it was Fate or whether Chance that went through the mists before THE BEGINNING to MANA-YOOD-SUSHAI—none knoweth.

You're destined to meet a fate one way or another, but you can choose whether to arrive at that destination passively, or actively. By taking an active role, you can in turn change the destination you're fated to arrive at, or at least change the path you take to get there.

1. How are we defining "fate"?
2. How much control (and what kinds) count as "being in control"? For example, the living standard of the vast majority of people is determined by factors entirely outside of their control, but that are reasonably stable so we take it for granted.
3. "slaves of their own mind" is some deep identity shit.

A short story was written by one u/psycho_alpaca some time back. Here's one of the chapters: https://pastebin.com/3WYMVypW
This is the way I think about "fate" and "destiny".

How do you feel about determinism?

Spinoza wrote something very interesting about "free will" in his Ethics. The gist of his argument at this point is that a stone (if conscious), having been thrown towards a pool, would think "Look at how well I am throwing myself towards this pool" in a manner similar to how many think of free will. The exact phrasing is a little more precise and complex:

Further conceive, I beg, that a stone, while continuing in motion, should be capable of thinking and knowing, that it is endeavoring, as far as it can, to continue to move. Such a stone, being conscious merely of its own endeavor and not at all indifferent, would believe itself to be completely free, and would think that it continued in motion solely because of its own wish. This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined.

BTW, if you love really complex, recursive philosophy, I highly recommend the Ethics. It is a largely infinitely recursive geometrical argument the likes of which the world had never seen and will likely never see again.