Casual Conversation thread - for random chit chat and nonsense that doesn't fit elsewhere.
I'm not sure how often this will be necessary, but figured I'd give it a try a few times a week for now.
Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you want.
I was playing with my dog last night and he got a tad too excited and smacked me right in the ball - damn near exploded lefty. This, of course, ruined that night, and is ruining this morning as well.
It hurts to move. But it's my own fault, I had a cold last week so I didn't get in any workouts.
Think about it though: you're going to look at the pictures from your brother's wedding years from now and think how stupid it was to allow a rift between family over something as simple as a haircut. Will they compromise on a partial shortening of the hair? What has them so set that you need to cut it in the first place? I'm pretty old, but I had very long hair in high school back in the '80s, and had to cut it pretty damn short to get any kind of well-paying job back then. It's not that big of a deal looking back at it years later, but at the time it seemed so important to me that I not cut my hair. It grows back.
Can your hair be put in a ponytail instead?
Yeah.. fuck em. Don't cut your hair. There's options you can use to make it look more "presentable" if a ponytail isn't going to work. Go see a stylist and see what they recommend, maybe visit the curlyhair subreddit.
Thinking logically though, why is it such a huge deal if he doesn't cut his hair? If it's that long, he can put it in a ponytail and it'll look fine.
Demanding someone cut/colour/change their hair to be in a wedding is beyond rude IMO. It's basically saying "we want you here, but only as long as you fit this image. We don't actually want you as you are."
My SIL made one of her brothers to cover up his tattoos for her wedding. She had originally suggested to use a band aid or similar. He ended up using makeup, but IMO having a band aid on his face would have been much more noticeable than the little tattoos he has. He's the black sheep of their family, but he is also the nicest and most authentic of them as well. It's a shame how obsessed some people can be with image.
Agreed, but it's his mom. You know they can make unreasonable requests, to the goal of "looking presentable for such a big occasion," especially one where there will be multiple "important" pictures taken. It might just be the way I was raised, but when mom wants something, she usually gets it, because she sacrificed a whole lot of her best years working her ass off to raise our family, and requests are few and far between. A haircut just doesn't seem that huge of a request, especially if he's shaggy and hasn't had it cut in ages.
Well turns out there's a possibility a roommate on my new lease might not be able to pay rent, so that's a bit of a nightmare, but everything else is great so far :)
I am just wondering why people makes a big deal of being summoned as witness in court for a freaking car accident.
I got my car, while parked, being smashed by a motorbike that then ran away. My neighbour came telling me (I was in the back of my house doing stuff) and told me the plate numbers of the motorbike.
I'm chasing the guy since november and finally we are going to sue his ass but now, comes out that the neighbour not only didn't sign any witness report that was sent by the police, but he also don't want to be summoned as witness in court.
In all this I'm without a car since november (over £ 6k of damage) and an astounding fee to pay to the garage where the car is being forcefully parked by the asshole's insurance all this time (around £ 10k).
Seriously, what the fuck.
I did front squats yesterday for the first time in two weeks, and it sucked. My forearm flexibility was brutal, so even though I only did 45kg, it hurt. A LOT. I wasn't moving right at all, kept collapsing forward, and was unable to keep my elbows elevated.
And today everything hurts. Meh.
I really need to regularly work on my forearm flexbility... I can't do anything over like 115 without causing forearm pain
It's my wrists that are my limiter more so than my forearms, but yeah lots of stretching helps. It's slow, but it does get better. It took me nearly two years to go from straps to full rack.
Sorry yeah I meant wrist flexibility and pain. When I do fronts regularly I can work up to 2, 3, sometimes even 4 sets at weight without pain, but then I stop doing fronts for a while and forget to stretch
I'm up to 5 sets of 3, and at lighter weights I can do 5x4. But yeah... it's tough. And it HURTS. Even on my best, most flexible days it's painful by the end of it.
wrists just aren't meant to do that I swear
My chiro works at my gym, and he basically told me and my trainer that my mobility was as good as it's ever going to get - I'm just not built to do a fully flexible front rack like this: https://www.catalystathletics.com/articles/images/2014-09-02-rackPositions.jpg
It just isn't gonna happen. Soooo I just work with what range of motion I have and hope for the best.
Oh actually I just found this: https://barbend.com/5-drills-to-improve-your-front-rack-position-this-week/
Some interesting tips in there.
Literally my only issue is my hand bending back far enough. It's just not something someone normally does. I do some of those drills to loosen up my shoulders, however, typically prior to a normal squat because my shoulders are finnicky.
I just need to like, I dunno, press my hands together and push down regularly to push the wrist back until my connective tissue loosens up enough.
Same, right down to the finicky shoulders. I do some weird band stretches for my wrists that help. I basically loop it high on a rack, hold the end with the opposite hand, and pull down and press my palm against a bar so my hand bends backwards if that makes sense. Maybe I can MS paint it when I get home.
Yeah I think I get it
I tried squats with an actual bar for the first time this week. My hammies and quads burn so good.
Squats are THE BEST EXERCISE. Seriously, keep at it. So good.
(I'm trans) Just got my referral from my doctor to go see Fenway Health so HRT and therapy are miles closer now!
Yay! Similar story here, I set up an appointment at a informed consent clinic, less than two weeks to go!
There used to be a forum in the past, one that I frequented... It had a separate section especially designated for threads like this.
We could use ~talk.casual, but I'd prefer to have a separate thread fail here instead of posting everything to a separate thread, because the conversation wouldn't be as casual
How do yall break up the monotony of everyday to make it more bearable?
Podcasts are great. You can listen to them during a commute, on a walk, or while you're doing something else. You can find several the fit your interests.
I like Dan Carlin's Hardcore History podcasts. I know they're not "OMG 100% ACCURATE", but they're entertaining and you do learn a lot.
I listen to a lot of television podcasts, including an ungodly amount of reality tv coverage. Which might sound weird to some people, but you might understand since you're into RPDR.
Didn't even know there were TV podcasts, but I suppose that makes sense! And yes, I do get it. RPDR is a minor obsession for sure.
Yep, there's recap podcasts for scripted shows. Super popular shows will have dozens of different podcasts about them.
Reality tv podcasts also have recaps, but they also branch out a bit more. Some will have exit interviews or long form interviews with cast members. And some will do fantasy drafts or other fun and games to make the podcasts more engaging.
Welp, I guess that makes sense. Where do you even look for podcasts to listen to? I've yet to find a good source.
For tv shows, I search within my podcast app. But for more general interest podcasts, I rely more on recommendations. I guess you can browse popular podcasts based on topics, but it's hard to know if it'll be a fit without listening to it or having it recommended.
I don't watch RPDR, but I know and enjoy all the hosts of RHAP's coverage, so it might be worth checking out.
I tend to look for more general interest podcasts. So far the Hardcore History one is a fave, as are some of Joe Rogan's ones (usually when he has on a fighter I like, or an interesting guest). A lot of people recommend Radiolab, but I HATE the musical thing they do.
other fitness podcasts you might like:
Other general interest/educational podcasts:
For general interest podcasts, I mostly listen to Freakanomics and WTF! with Marc Maron.
This is pretty handy. It's The Long Read series from The Guardian
And In Our Time is one of the best radio programmes ever. Each episode covers something different. It somehow manages to make every topic it covers interesting, even if it's something you have no knowledge of, or ever been interested in
Every episode is available, and a good use of 45 minutes. There are a lot to listen too.
I travel. A lot. Weekend trips, longer trips when I can. I get itchy if I stay home too much.
Where have you been traveling to recently?
In the past six to eight months I've made some weekend trips to Halifax NS, Toronto ON (3x), and Ottawa ON (4x). They're all close enough to Montreal to be easy. I've also been to Iceland and Mexico for longer trips.
I'd love to go back to Iceland and France (Jura in particular), but there's so many other new places I haven't been yet.
Woah! That sounds awesome. What's your preferred means of transportation to those places? Do you know people before you go to a place or do you just up-an-go?
For local stuff, the train or carpooling with friends. It's easy to get between Toronto->Ottawa->Montreal that way.
For anything further, a flight is necessary, but once I'm there it's usually public transit and then trains to get between countries if it's <5h. Any more than that and I fly.
I don't usually know people, so I just go. I travel with friends sometimes, but I ended a long term relationship last year so now I mostly go solo.
That sounds really really cool! Maybe I'll plan out a trip or two to look forward to!
Do it! Just pull the trigger and go. I've found I get nervous every time I book a trip, but I never regret it. I've spent many an afternoon people watching in a pub or cafe in a strange country with nothing but a book to keep me company. It's a lovely way to spend the day.
Where do you want to go?
I'm in the NE US, so I've got a lot of cities to choose from, I suppose! I've only been to NYC 3 times for a few hours, so maybe there to explore; Boston would be cool to see again; but I also just want to try to find those small hole-in-the-wall towns that have some kind of charm to them.
Or places to hike!
Shit yeah, there's tons around there. If you have a car, you can just hop in and start driving. NYC is amazing, and Boston is a lot of fun too, but there's so much more! The Finger Lakes would be fun to visit, or even head over the border on a cheap flight to Montreal or Toronto. If you're NE enough, maybe even the Maritimes. Halifax Nova Scotia or St. John's NFLD would make for great weekend trips.
Funny enough-- just came back from a weekend trip to the Finger Lakes after a friend invited me up! It was beautiful and I didn't expect it'd be so easy to get to! The Maritimes sound awesome -- furthest up NE I've been was Arcadia in Maine
You should do it! I spent a few years living in both St. John's and Halifax, and they're great cities. Small enough to see all the major sights in a couple of days, friendly, easy to walk around, and not too expensive.
Listening to music throughout the day and going home at lunch to play with my son. I also gchat with various friends who have office jobs.
That... sounds an awful lot like what I do, minus the son and long lunch break
I only live 5 mins from work, so it's convenient to go home for lunch. That is not to say I don't take a nice long lunch most days though.
Hell yeah! I do the same. What have you been listening to?
I recently discovered KEXP, Seattle's community radio station that you can stream in your browser and I've been jammin.
Ahhh totally fair! Sounds like you've got a good mix there!
Write: when I'm bored, I think up scenarios that might make a good story, or think about things that have happened to me that might make an interesting story. I write just to write, and then edit like crazy because it's never quite "polished" enough. Therefore no one ever sees any of that stuff, but it's served its purpose of killing time in a creative way, and it's interesting to go back and read what I wrote months or years later...which leads to more editing.
Play an instrument: I first started playing guitar when I was 14, and still play today at 50. Recently had a full-day power outage, and it's amazing how little there seems to be to do when you don't have power. No internet, no television, no Netflix, no Prime Video, not even able to load up any of the movies I have on a portable drive (laptop battery is old and pretty much non-functional). I could play on my phone, but that's only fun for so long. So, I played guitar (and a bit of banjo), and really had fun with it, because there were no other distractions, unlike usual when there's a TV on in the background and the distraction of a computer is sitting right there.
But you don't need years of experience to "play around" with an instrument. Get a cheap guitar, uke, banjo, keyboard, anything you can just fool around with. Many people will surprise themselves the first time they actually lay hands on an instrument they've seen played for years. You won't be any good right away, but I've seen people start playing an instrument after 40 who love it years later, after never even considering it might be something that would interest them. If you like music, you owe it to yourself to have a go at creating some.
I used to play a lot of piano but stopped since it was a spinnet and I now live in a 2nd floor apartment. I might just try to find a cheap keyboard so I can play around with some theory at some point-- thanks for the inspiration!
I used to write and took classes, but it was something I was never really proud of and found that I'd rather do other things. I've found I much prefer reading others' writing than writing myself.
You're welcome. I get lazy with my instruments and sometimes don't play for months. Then I go back to it and think "why the hell haven't you been doing this the whole time? It's fun!" Then the cycle repeats.
I generally write because I keep thinking of a story I want to tell, and the only way to get it out of my head is to get it out in writing. Then I edit, endlessly edit. I'm trying to get away from all the editing, but they say you should spend at least as long editing as you did writing. I'm not so sure that's true. I strive for The Old Man and the Sea economy-of-words in my writing, but it's not easy and always requires a lot of editing.
I like a little monotony from time to time. Adult life is hectic, and the fact that sometimes it's predictable is reassuring for me. So basically, I try to lean into it.
If in doubt, throw VLC at it. As long as there's a moving picture and/or sound in it, VLC will do its very best to bring it to your eyes and ears.
Huh? Personally I vastly prefer a centralized package manager that manages everything I have installed over having to scour the internet for a place to download a program, and then having to keep up with updates for each program separately.
In fact I would say that package management is one of the biggest reasons to use Linux over windows, it's just so much more convenient and simple.
I'm inclined to agree with you, but I could see how someone might not like it. If you are more used to a more Windows way of doing things, where you can just download whatever you like off the internet, it can be burdensome to make sure you're getting the right package or adding a PPA. I'm a relatively new Linux user, so I am sometimes still frustrated by quirks of the package management system, like being able to download a package of something you want, but that's the old version and the new version has got a number on it.
Yeah, that's true, Debian/Ubuntu is a bit of a mess package wise. I'm spoiled by Arch, there's hardly anything that isn't readily available from the AUR.
Hah, this thread is honestly pretty funny to me. Not doing what I want/not being in control of my OS is the second big reason I don't want to use Windows.
The third is the openness/freedom of Linux (which ties into being in control), which windows just doesn't have at all, if you're lucky some of the applications you use are open source (not necessarily Free).
The last I can think of right now is that Linux isn't actively hostile against and doesn't spy on me. Which is a given with being so open, if it was there someone would just take it out.
Recently I've been picking up my bass and acoustic a lot more but I can't for the life of me create my own music. I can cover a few songs well enough, but I completely falter when it comes to creating my own sound. So I've been struggling with that. On the lighter side, the wait for Spyro Reignited is killing me!
Man, I basically could've written this post. Except I just picked back up my piano and violin skills. I'm also experimenting with DAWs for creating music, have you tried any of these out? It's been fun to try and reproduce songs I like to get a feel for the layering and structure needed for music making. It's a great way to get into the zone.
I've tried a few DAWs but I've concluded that I'm simply not intelligent/patient enough to learn how to use them. Most programs like those all seem incredibly unintuitive unless you already know what you're doing and most tutorials are hours long which is juuuust fucking awful
While he doesn't really help with the technical side, Andrew Huang has been my go-to for motivation to slog through the tutorials. Highly recommended.
Good luck with your musical journey!
I went to an (outdoor) concert on Monday night and it started pouring during the band's biggest hit. Really cool experience.
I'm about ready to tableflip my laptop this week. I bought a new audio interface and it just refuses to play nice with Windows 10. Not only that, but now, plugging the old one back in refuses to work as well. I'm at my wit's end, with all the uninstalling and reinstalling and Windows Updates and allllllll this BS. I just want my studio to work again.
So the last week I've been trying to get my sleep pattern changed. It goes for months being fine, then months being fucked. I can usually make it work well enough, but then just recently- I started getting tired all the time out of nowhere so its this massive struggle to just maintain a pattern.
I almost fell asleep like 10 times yesterday alone, and i got the most sleep i had all month that night. I actually found myself meditating a bit just bc its was as close to sleep as i could get without ruining my reset progress.
Does anyone know when imma get a bit more likely to sleep more in a single chunk (i wake up like 4-5 times and have to try to get back to sleep), or when the daylong tiredness slows down?
Aside from that, things are going pretty gucci this summer. I started going outside in just a tshirt and sweatpants instead of NEEDING to be in my "mentally protective" hoodie and jeans. I spent like, 2+ years just hating myself and how I looked, with my only close-ish friend being an extremely toxic and narcissistic person. So he'd take potshots at my appearance every chance he'd get, and then take any mild observation about him as a vitriolic insult and would return fire.
So glad i let that bridge burn instead of putting it out, that last time. This summer would have kicked my ass if i was still as depressed as i was back then. 30C days in jeans and a hoodie would have been torture, but i would have slugged through like i did the summers before it. It's a pretty strange mental hurdle that I had to jump over, and i bet it's got something to do with me being autistic. But I seriously underestimated how good new clothes could feel.
e. Just realised how rambly this was but heyho
I don't have an official diagnosis for this or anything because I haven't really seen a doctor for anything other than antibiotics and stitches in the past 15 years. The closest things I've found to my sleep cycle is delayed phase sleep disorder.
Unless I actively manage my sleeping habits (which requires very controlled conditions), I tend to fall asleep around 2-6am and wake up 7-8 hours later. Physical activity helps, but isn't enough on it's own. I work construction a lot, and there have been times when I've done an entire week of strenuous work with 1-2 hours of sleep per night. I've tried all kinds of tricks to varying degrees of success, but there isn't a whole lot that works consistently for me. I'm currently wondering if it's a seasonal thing. It seems like I tend to be much more of a night person during hotter parts of the year (it was around 40C today, 105F). I actually got tired early tonight, managed to fall asleep around 11pm, but then woke up at 1am. Wide awake, no point in even trying to go back to sleep. It's frustrating because there are a lot of things that I want to be able to do during the day but my current schedule is interfering. Weirdly though, from January through June, I was able to keep a daytime schedule. Got tired before midnight, woke up before 10am. For the first time I can remember, I was able to work construction full time and get a decent amount of sleep every night.
I wish I understood it better, and I'm always trying to figure out a more accurate model of my self. For now, I just accept that I go through periods of high productivity and periods of stagnation. It helps me to think of it as part of the creative process and just accept a certain amount of ups and downs. When I've tried to force myself through, I've had some pretty bad backfires.
I've been in a bit of a down phase for the last couple months, but I can finally feel some momentum building up. It has an effect that's exciting in-and-of-itself, and I can usually use just a little bit of progress to fuel more. For me, the trick to that was to learn to accept the flaws in my work. I've always been my own worst critic to the point of immobilization, and coming to terms with things just being good enough has allowed me to progress further than my critical nature would normally permit. To that end, putting myself and my work out there in the wild (when I felt it was ready) has done me a lot of good. So far, I'm still my own worst critic. No one has been able to tear apart my efforts better than myself. So the result of putting my work out there is that I'm able to see that the vast majority of response is positive. It was uncomfortable and I definitely feel the impostor syndrome kick in from time to time. But I remember a friend of mine telling me that denying a compliment is the equivalent of denying the validity and competency of the person giving the compliment.
Sorry, I think I got on a bit of a tangent there. It might not be applicable to you, it's just stuff that has been on my mind a lot lately.
Sorry to hear your friend was so crappy, and glad to hear that bridge is burned. Untenable, toxic relationships can be hard to break off, especially close ones.
Hah, well I'll be hecked if that's not uncanny. There's a lot of relatable stuff in there, but yeah, my mum was always saying it was Seasonal Affective Disorder but she's one of those psychic types that always thinks things are something.
I had something similar earlier this year. My sleep schedule kinda oscilates back and forth between being mostly nights to mostly days. That's my normal "embrace your body" kind of sleep pattern I tend to revert back to usually. Some weeks it'd be 3 2hour sleeps, others a huge 13hour chunk of the day gone.
But then something would come up and I'd need to take that 13 hours and make sure it happened at night, so then they'd slowly drift and overlap into eachother and I'd just end up sleeping in familiar chaos. I was never unrested though. It was more of a social annoyance bc it would make things a living nightmare to plan. And I'd find myself avoiding making plans because of the effort involved in "taming the chaos" and making sure I'm awake at that time.
So then I found myself magically up at real human hours, consistently. Some night's i'd stay up until 3am but it never made it harder to sleep at the right time the next night. It was pretty cool tbh, it kinda kicked me out of a rutt i was in. I wasn't eating very well at all, but i had no clue at all. But then suddenly I was awake for the entire day without naps so i had to change how i prompted my eating. Before I'd eat a bit after I woke up and a bit before I'd go to bed. But i never really thought at all about what I'd eat or how long it was between meals.
I'd spend some weeks eating a burger a day, just because i never really got that hungry and the only time it dawned on me to eat, was when i was getting ready for bed. So i started prepping breakfast and lunch for the next day when i made the current days dinner. Feels good feeling like a functioning human after not even realizing you were kinda out of sync.
I've been meaning to get back into running now that I'm not effectively malnourished. I had a good run of it last year but I suppose running 90km in 18 days is a bit of a dumb way to go about it lol
Also on the topic of sleep schedules and "normalcy", this might be a bit of an interesting read:
"The myth of the eight-hour sleep" https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783
It's always important to remember that we weren't designed for a lot of the modern life we find ourselves somewhat nudged into for convenience.
I have difficulty with food and appetite. I go long periods without eating, but can also eat an entire day's worth of calories in one sitting. That effect stabilizes when I am able to stick to a schedule. But it's kind of a chicken/egg thing. I don't know if the unusual sleep pattern causes unusual eating habits, or if it's the other way around. But they definitely seem to coincide.
Alaska is West. You may be thinking of Maine.
Well... depending on how far you go around the world, Alaska could be East! 😁😁
I'm next door in Nova Scotia and love it - a completely different pace of life than you will find elsewhere. The humidity lately is a bitch though.
I grew up on Canada's east coast, in an area pretty similar demographically to Maine.
Basically it was just a lot of nature, stunted economic growth, conservative people. Weather wise I found it more mild than central Canada, mainly due to the ocean cooling down summers and (slightly) warming up winters.