19 votes

You can have an organ or feature of any multicellular organism implanted in your body. What is it, why do you want it and how would you use it?

I'd probably want a tail with features similar to other primates. I'd use it for better balance, and also wag it to demonstrate I'm happy or excited. It would probably need some fur, otherwise it would look hideous. I don't think any tail can really support my whole 90kg adult body, but it would certainly make it easier to climb trees and other stuff. Not that I have a need to climb, but I might give a try if I had a tail.

And it might also come in handy to swing a Brazilian hammock or hold a cold beverage.

44 comments

  1. [4]
    MimicSquid
    Link
    I'd take ageless, cancer free cells like you see in a number of invertebrates. I'm sure I'd eventually die from something else, but an eternally young and sexually mature body sounds pretty good...

    I'd take ageless, cancer free cells like you see in a number of invertebrates. I'm sure I'd eventually die from something else, but an eternally young and sexually mature body sounds pretty good to me.

    11 votes
    1. [3]
      mrbig
      Link Parent
      Are you sure?.
      5 votes
      1. [2]
        MimicSquid
        Link Parent
        I mean, my hair isn't quite that thin, but for functional eternal youth, I'd take being (more) pink, bald and wrinkly.

        I mean, my hair isn't quite that thin, but for functional eternal youth, I'd take being (more) pink, bald and wrinkly.

        5 votes
        1. ThatFanficGuy
          Link Parent
          Much as I dislike the visuals, I can totally get behind two human-sized rat-like creatures fucking the brains out of each other for 300 years straight 'cause sex rocks.

          Much as I dislike the visuals, I can totally get behind two human-sized rat-like creatures fucking the brains out of each other for 300 years straight 'cause sex rocks.

          3 votes
  2. [4]
    Fal
    (edited )
    Link
    I'd like asexual reproduction, mostly because I think it would be really funny to have hundreds of copies of myself running around. edit: If Calvin and Hobbes have taught me anything though, maybe...

    I'd like asexual reproduction, mostly because I think it would be really funny to have hundreds of copies of myself running around.

    edit: If Calvin and Hobbes have taught me anything though, maybe not such a great idea

    7 votes
    1. mrbig
      Link Parent
      Kind of the premise of Living with Yourself. No spoilers, but yeah, it's complicated!

      Kind of the premise of Living with Yourself.

      No spoilers, but yeah, it's complicated!

      6 votes
    2. [2]
      NaraVara
      Link Parent
      It would be basically like masturbating, except when you’re done there’s another person in the room. The whole thing is pretty crazy. What would you even talk about? It’s not like you could deny...

      It would be basically like masturbating, except when you’re done there’s another person in the room. The whole thing is pretty crazy. What would you even talk about? It’s not like you could deny what you were just doing.

      2 votes
      1. Fal
        Link Parent
        Good point. Would they look like me now or me at birth? If they look like me now, are they thinking the same as I am now or thinking like me at birth? Do they appear with clothes? This could get...

        Good point. Would they look like me now or me at birth? If they look like me now, are they thinking the same as I am now or thinking like me at birth? Do they appear with clothes? This could get pricey real quickly

        2 votes
  3. reifyresonance
    Link
    I think it'd be really cool if I could have some kind of plants growing from my skin instead of hair (but maybe keep the head hair). Moss could be nice. I'd have to be really delicate with it...

    I think it'd be really cool if I could have some kind of plants growing from my skin instead of hair (but maybe keep the head hair). Moss could be nice. I'd have to be really delicate with it though.

    Changing the patterns on my skin at will or with mood would be fun, I've been wanting the ability to do long-term temporary tattoos and that could fulfill that urge.

    4 votes
  4. [3]
    PopeRigby
    Link
    I think having two hearts like a Space Marine or the Doctor would be pretty useful. You can maintain full vital functions with the loss of one of them, it helps you survive in low oxygen...

    I think having two hearts like a Space Marine or the Doctor would be pretty useful. You can maintain full vital functions with the loss of one of them, it helps you survive in low oxygen environments, and withstand traumatic injuries better. Sounds like a good deal to me.

    4 votes
    1. [2]
      latkins
      Link Parent
      Just curious, how does having a second heart do this?

      helps you survive in low oxygen environments

      Just curious, how does having a second heart do this?

      3 votes
      1. PopeRigby
        Link Parent
        In Warhammer 40k lore it does it by being able to move larger volumes of oxygen throughout the body. No idea if that's how it would work in real life.

        In Warhammer 40k lore it does it by being able to move larger volumes of oxygen throughout the body. No idea if that's how it would work in real life.

        1 vote
  5. [4]
    ThatFanficGuy
    Link
    I almost went "telepathy!", but no creature on Earth has that... :(

    I almost went "telepathy!", but no creature on Earth has that... :(

    3 votes
    1. Staross
      Link Parent
      I'm not sure telepathy would be much different from speaking or texting, which are forms of communication at distance.

      I'm not sure telepathy would be much different from speaking or texting, which are forms of communication at distance.

      2 votes
    2. Kuromantis
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      I'd go with 'amoeba' or 'incubus' kind of for the hell of it, but then I realized one is a single-cell organism (and the science to make a human-sized slime-being would be really hard) and one is...

      I'd go with 'amoeba' or 'incubus' kind of for the hell of it, but then I realized one is a single-cell organism (and the science to make a human-sized slime-being would be really hard) and one is fictional (and not exactly the most practical choice).

      1 vote
  6. [5]
    asoftbird
    Link
    The ability to hibernate, or rather, the ability to aestivate (summer hibernation). Just skip the summer, it's way too hot anyway. Also, maybe something like more efficient kidneys like some sea...

    The ability to hibernate, or rather, the ability to aestivate (summer hibernation).
    Just skip the summer, it's way too hot anyway.

    Also, maybe something like more efficient kidneys like some sea animals have, so I wouldn't be drinking water all day.

    If we're getting real crazy: eyes sensitive to low light conditions, or sensitive to UV. Definitely not more sensitive ears since I'm already going nuts from printer/fluorescent tube noise that nobody else seems to hear.

    And, maybe tree-level lifetime? Stick around for a hundred years or more, maybe growing a little a lot slower.

    3 votes
    1. [2]
      mrbig
      Link Parent
      Wouldn’t you move super slow as a result?

      And, maybe tree-level lifetime? Stick around for a hundred years or more, maybe growing a little a lot slower

      Wouldn’t you move super slow as a result?

      1. asoftbird
        Link Parent
        Already do, so I don't see the difference ;)

        Already do, so I don't see the difference ;)

        3 votes
    2. [2]
      moocow1452
      Link Parent
      Mega naps sound amazing. But then I'd just nap all the time.

      Mega naps sound amazing. But then I'd just nap all the time.

      1. asoftbird
        Link Parent
        Again, already kind of do. My longest sleep is 19 hours I think. (just was really tired)

        Again, already kind of do. My longest sleep is 19 hours I think. (just was really tired)

        1 vote
  7. [5]
    acdw
    Link
    I'd definitely go with wings if that counts, like if we can get extinct organisms' organs implanted and if wings counts as implanting. Otherwise, I think I'd go with night vision eyes. That'd be...

    I'd definitely go with wings if that counts, like if we can get extinct organisms' organs implanted and if wings counts as implanting.

    Otherwise, I think I'd go with night vision eyes. That'd be really cool.

    2 votes
    1. [4]
      bloup
      Link Parent
      Do you run a regular basis

      Do you run a regular basis

      1 vote
      1. [3]
        acdw
        Link Parent
        No not super often. Not really at all, even!

        No not super often. Not really at all, even!

        1. [2]
          wundumguy
          Link Parent
          There's a pretty great meme that if flying was as laborious as running we'd probably never do it

          There's a pretty great meme that if flying was as laborious as running we'd probably never do it

          3 votes
          1. acdw
            Link Parent
            Omg you're so right! And people would do it for just exercise too

            Omg you're so right! And people would do it for just exercise too

            1 vote
  8. Kuromantis
    (edited )
    Link
    My top choices would be: Gills from fish Hawk-like vision Night vision (or more specifically more flexible pupils) from cats or the like. Gills would be nice for deepwater navigation even if the...

    My top choices would be:

    Gills from fish

    Hawk-like vision

    Night vision (or more specifically more flexible pupils) from cats or the like.

    Gills would be nice for deepwater navigation even if the rest needs to be equipment and you can't actually go too deep thanks to pressure.

    Hawk-like vision would be nice for spotting stuff from afar and not needing glasses, even if I still had myopia.

    Night vision would be good for seeing in the night although half of me suspects that limitation is one of the best things for good sleep.

    2 votes
  9. MrEprize
    Link
    Drug gland, then you can really stick it to Big Pharma! :)

    Drug gland, then you can really stick it to Big Pharma! :)

    2 votes
  10. shx
    Link
    Ooh! I'be heard that some predatory birds have multifoveated vision. I think it would be super cool to be able to focus on several parts of my field of view.

    Ooh! I'be heard that some predatory birds have multifoveated vision. I think it would be super cool to be able to focus on several parts of my field of view.

    2 votes
  11. [2]
    moocow1452
    (edited )
    Link
    There's probably some slime stuff that can rearrange it's internals so that I would never have to be in an uncomfortable position, adjust my own skeletomuscular system to destress, fun stuff....

    There's probably some slime stuff that can rearrange it's internals so that I would never have to be in an uncomfortable position, adjust my own skeletomuscular system to destress, fun stuff.

    Runner ups would be something that can fly or something extravagant like a peacock tail, but I'd probably use it once and regret getting it afterwards.

    1 vote
    1. Turtle
      Link Parent
      Slime molds! They are surprisingly intelligent, although maybe efficient would be a better descriptor? Fascinating creatures.

      Slime molds! They are surprisingly intelligent, although maybe efficient would be a better descriptor? Fascinating creatures.

      2 votes
  12. [13]
    joelthelion
    Link
    Fluff? I know this is ~talk, but still...

    Fluff? I know this is ~talk, but still...

    5 votes
    1. [11]
      mrbig
      Link Parent
      While Tildes strives for great factual content, it is still not Stack Overflow (nor I think it should be).

      While Tildes strives for great factual content, it is still not Stack Overflow (nor I think it should be).

      8 votes
      1. [10]
        joelthelion
        Link Parent
        To me, the problem is not that this topic is not factual, it's that it's low effort.

        To me, the problem is not that this topic is not factual, it's that it's low effort.

        1. [2]
          Sand
          Link Parent
          What do you mean with "low effort"? Is posting a link high effort?

          What do you mean with "low effort"? Is posting a link high effort?

          6 votes
          1. joelthelion
            Link Parent
            I meant low effort as in "doesn't require much thought in order to post a comment".

            I meant low effort as in "doesn't require much thought in order to post a comment".

          1. [6]
            joelthelion
            Link Parent
            Can't say I'm a huge fan of most of these. I know I could simply unsubscribe from ~talk, though.

            Can't say I'm a huge fan of most of these. I know I could simply unsubscribe from ~talk, though.

            1 vote
            1. [5]
              cfabbro
              Link Parent
              Those of us with tag editing could also start making an effort to tag topics with "casual" or "serious" depending on which they are... that way you wouldn't have to unsub from ~talk, and could...

              Those of us with tag editing could also start making an effort to tag topics with "casual" or "serious" depending on which they are... that way you wouldn't have to unsub from ~talk, and could just filter out the "casual" discussions instead. Thoughts?

              2 votes
              1. [4]
                joelthelion
                Link Parent
                That's probably a good solution, although tag filters apply to tildes globally, so there is a risk of false positives. That said, I can perfectly ignore the few threads I don't like. It's not like...

                That's probably a good solution, although tag filters apply to tildes globally, so there is a risk of false positives.

                That said, I can perfectly ignore the few threads I don't like. It's not like there are 50 a day.

                2 votes
                1. [3]
                  cfabbro
                  Link Parent
                  We could make it more specific by using talk.casual/serious as the tags instead (or something similar). But if you think just using the ignore feature is sufficient, that's fine too. Your call......

                  We could make it more specific by using talk.casual/serious as the tags instead (or something similar). But if you think just using the ignore feature is sufficient, that's fine too. Your call... but I don't mind adding some additional tags if they will help people. :)

                  1 vote
    2. cfabbro
      Link Parent
      ~talk = "Open-ended discussions with fellow Tildes users, casual or serious" [emphasis mine]

      ~talk = "Open-ended discussions with fellow Tildes users, casual or serious" [emphasis mine]

      8 votes