That was my "gift" from COVID. After 5 to 6 months on a virtual relationship, we couldn't wait any longer. Things "got real". We shouldn’t but yeah, we’ve been physical. Before that, I had numerous affairs, sometimes at the same time—no infidelities though, I always respected my partners and there were loads of affection, but being with many women gave me a sense of security and options.
Now I'm freefalling on a beautiful net, but nets can burst. I'm in love, she's more than wonderful. But how you "normal" people deal with the understanding that things can go bust at any time? People change, feelings change! We make mistakes! Holy shit that's scary. So much of my happiness is now in the hand of a single person.
I even got rid of my virtual date book and told my current partners I’m no longer available. Maybe that was a bit much but it felt right.
Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna explode from insecurity. Is that how adult monogamy feels like?
I sent her the five first parts of Neruda’s 20 Love Poems. She’s an actress and literature buff so it was probably not as ridiculous as it sounds hahahahha
I’m screwed, guys!