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Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (November 2021)
This is a monthly thread for those who need it. Vent, share your experiences, ask for advice, talk about how you are doing. Let's make this a compassionate space for all who may need one.
Ah boy that thread is very empty this month. How are you all?
I’m quite alright. I’ve been gaining weight again though and that’s just not great, I need to pay more attention to this. Motivation at work is coming back as well. My girlfriend and I are solidifying, slowly…
I went skating yesterday, stayed there a while, had fun, hung out with a bunch of people, and I also let some know that I won’t be back at the rink until December due to my trip. On my way back, a young kid I’ve been coaching texted me (in French) “Thank you, today was so fun, I will miss you soooo much!”. And all I can think is … I finally feel like I’m doing something right.
@kfwyre this is something I want to dedicate to you. I know several people who constantly try to be positive and they’re all inspirations, but you truly more than anyone else. Here on the internet of all places.
I try to be so as well. I just can’t fully do it here. I don’t know what is different. But back at the rink, since basically day one, I feel like a different Me. I’ve been able to befriend nearly everybody, young and old, staff and skaters, hockey and figure skaters. I’ve been able to be a source of help and joy for so many. I’ve been able to just spread the love of skating. And I was thinking about this on the way back home; I kept thinking, “even if it’s not everywhere, at least somewhere I’m finally managing to be a positive person”. And truly at that moment, I knew who my inspiration was. @kfwyre you didn’t just make my life better, I think you made the lives of many of those skaters better too. Thank you, man.
😁 Isn't that feeling the best thing EVER? That's like, 90% of why I teach! Helping kids is awesome, and it's so incredibly validating when they show awareness of and appreciation for that. I highly recommend saving a screenshot of that text as a way of creating a little keepsake for yourself for that moment.
And thank you for the kind words, Adys! Your focus on kindness has me tugging my collar in response to some of my more firey recent posts here, but nevertheless, I'm both floored and honored. Kindness is always needed and never wasted, and I'm so happy you're able to be a source of that for others. It also warms my heart that you see me as a source of that for you.
Please finish me. Work has become soul draining. My s/o of 18 years seems so distant. My best feline ever is symptomatic of FLUTD/FIC & expensive. Video games don't give a tiny escape anymore. A dumbass long distance HS friend is covid+ and antivax. There's nothing on tv. I don't wanna download any shows/movies. Everyone wants to help, but I don't know what needs help. I will stop crying tomorrow. I'll be fine. Thanks for reading. I hope you are safe and well.
This is something I mentioned at the time it occurred, but in April 2020 a friend of mine from high school and college was murdered. This week the murderers plead guilty so there will be no trial and there is some kind of information blackout / publication ban as part of the plea. The only detail I know about the circumstances of his death is that he was 'significantly injured', which makes me feel absolutely horrible, so maybe it's for the better.
I'm glad it won't be drawn out in a trial, I guess. I'm glad the legal part of it is done for the sake of his family. I'm also angry and sad again, though. Mostly it's just dealing with the unfairness of it all. He was a year younger than me, he had a daughter, and he was killed on his way to work in the morning.
Not the greatest. But also quite ok. The amount of stuff I have to do every week is quite reasonable. No terrible huge deadlines are close, just a few small manageable, but still important deadlines. One of the most important things is getting good sleep. And most days I am getting pretty good sleep.
Quite often these days I feel very lonely. I would do almost anything to have a partner who would hug me every day. I have friends that I see every few weeks that I can talk to, and which I use for hugs. I am very grateful for that. But I would selfishly, undeservedly like to have a partner, who I could use for hugs and talking (and other things) every day.
Whenever I get a longer chance to think deeply, I figure out the same few things that bother me, that I would like to change. But I never do. I hate that if I don't absolutely have to do something, I don't really ever do it.
I have picked a rough date for when I will go change my name. It has been almost a year since I seriously started to consider changing my name and I am still seriously considering it, so that probably means it's not just a spontaneous decision I would regret. The date is a bit over half a year from now, at a time when I should have basically nothing going on hopefully. So if I won't change my mind by then, I will probably do it.
I had to attend another funeral.
Sadly, my good sleep didn't last. I am back to spending at least an hour lying in bed unable to fall asleep each night.