So recently I have been wondering if there's actually a way to lessen my social anxiety, because I am starting to feel really stupid quite often because of it. This is gonna be a rant, hopefully a...
So recently I have been wondering if there's actually a way to lessen my social anxiety, because I am starting to feel really stupid quite often because of it. This is gonna be a rant, hopefully a bit coherent, probably not the most high quality content, because I am terrible at writing. Premature thank you to anyone who reads this mess I am about to produce.
To start of, I will try to describe how I feel, because I am not sure if I really have social anxiety. I am like extremely anxious to do anything where you have to talk to people you don't know. An easy example which I deal with most work days is going out to lunch. I am way too anxious to go to lunch somewhere so instead I just skip lunch quite often to not have to deal with it. When I am at school most of the times I go to a menza (is that a thing in english? it's like just a school lunch cafeteria), which isn't a problem at all when I go with my friends and isn't too much of a problem when I go alone, because I got used to it pretty good. Still even here I sometimes skip lunch, particularly after a stressful day. When I am just at work I quite often just go the whole day without lunch and wait until I get home to eat something. Sometimes I go to some fast food, that I know pretty well, but I don't want to go there too often, because I don't want to be that weirdo who eats every day in the same fast food. I don't want to go to a restaurant because who eats at a restaurant alone. I know that people do and it's normal, but I really don't want to.
There are other things where I have similar problems, giving presentations (probably everyone hates that), having to ask someone where something is when I am lost in a new place and so on. One of the things I really hate is when I have to go to deal with some bureocracy - renewing any of my documents, talking to HR at work and things like that. Most of the time when I know I will have to do something like this, I spend the whole day before that stressing about it. I love to live my day to day life in as much monotony as I can, so I can be ready for everything.
Or today, I am going to have some team building with my colleagues, we are gonna go play laser game (apparently called laser tag in english - according to Wikipedia) and to say the least I really don't want to. This should be a fun thing everyone enjoys and instead I am here, thinking about how could I make a excuse to not have to do it. Why am I so stupid and don't just let myself enjoy it like a normal person?
Also every time when I think about doing something about this, I just tell myself that I don't have it that bad and that other people have it way worse than me. That I don't really have that many problems and I shouldn't be whining about something as minor as this. That I should just bottle it up and leave it as it is, because it could be worse, right?
This has been going on basically my whole life, most of the time when I talk about it with friends I make fun of it, making my friends think it's probably not as bad as it is. I just say stuff like "oh no, I have to talk to people tommorow, please help" or "can you guys go to lunch with me even though you guys are at the opposite end of the city, because I am scared?" obviously as a joke, but I really kind of feel like this (and wish my friends go have lunch with me). I really feel I should start doing something about it, but I am not really sure what. The answer is probably to just do stuff like this more, get out of my comfort zone and just do the stuff. How can I make myself though, if I really don't want to?
There should be some conclusion or question here, I guess... does anyone have any recommandations for me?
Edit: also couldn't decide on the title, maybe "dealing with social anxiety" or something like that is better?