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    1. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      11 votes
    2. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      13 votes
    3. How can we betray each other less on the Internet?

      I was thinking about having a general purpose thread about internet drama venting, but that seems like a very bad idea if all the top level threads are different gripes and one in particular gets...

      I was thinking about having a general purpose thread about internet drama venting, but that seems like a very bad idea if all the top level threads are different gripes and one in particular gets out of control, so here's mine and this can be dealt with as needed.

      There was this recent issue in left adjacent Twitter of a notable YouTube person inviting someone else to read a quote for a bigger project. Invitee had controversial views on gender dysphoria, the host defended their decision, and details aren't super important for what I want to talk about.

      I see where Natalie is coming from if she wants to make a point about Tolerance and Outgroups. I think this was the wrong way to do that, #BuckisWrong, but I don't think brigading her on Twitter and asking her social group to disavow her is appropriate, however, I don't have any skin in the game outside of being an anxious cis white male who thinks Twitter enables and thrives off of toxic discourse.

      I get that this is all some of you are willing to talk about but I want to talk about the meta and the behavior here, so please pretend they're all Martians for the time being.

      What I want to talk about is how the internet specifically reacted, asking the creator's circle to walk back any endorsement of them, holding them to a fire and how much it kind of fits in into a pattern of isolation featured earlier in Lindsay Ellis' presentation about being shamed online, and propose that what makes an internet outrage mob is kind of values neutral.

      Obviously, your -ism of choice would factor into an internet hate mob and make it into the Eternal Tire Fire that the internet is known for birthing these days, but the key spark seems to be a betrayal of trust. You thought someone or something was in your corner/was values neutral/shared your politics and when that is not the case, you simply want it gone. It was kind of always in the discussion with "Cancel Culture Concern," but it hasn't really clicked until now for me that it's such a common thread.

      So, assuming we can't nor want to make it impossible to betray one another or make the Internet a safe space for everybody and for all sensibilities, can we cut down on this outcome, is it incentivised through engagement metrics, and/or is it just something that comes with the ability to mass broadcast and mass response?

      9 votes
    4. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      9 votes
    5. What is something for which you feel unfairly judged?

      We've all felt it: the idea that something about us or something we're into is subject to unnecessary, invasive, or hurtful scrutiny or skepticism from others. Sometimes it's something small ("You...

      We've all felt it: the idea that something about us or something we're into is subject to unnecessary, invasive, or hurtful scrutiny or skepticism from others. Sometimes it's something small ("You like licorice? Really?!"), and sometimes it's something big ("You don't want to have kids? Really?!"), and each of us likely has faced both within our lives. I'm interested to know what other people's experiences are with this.

      • What do you feel unfairly judged for?
      • What, in particular, makes it so unfair?
      • How do you handle it when you encounter it?
      • Do you find yourself changing your behavior or pressured into dishonesty in order to avoid encountering the judgment in the first place?
      • Why do you feel this sentiment exists in others and is widespread/shared?

      Also, it probably goes without saying, but on a post centered primarily on people's feelings and experiences, potentially very difficult ones, it's probably best to do more listening, empathizing, and asking than explaining or rationalizing.

      23 votes
    6. What is a subject you could talk for 2+ hours about with a great degree of accuracy and no preparation whatsoever?

      I'll start: as a film major, I could talk in length about several aspects of filmmaking, especially writing and directing. EDIT: I'm overwhelmed with such a high number of interesting responses....

      I'll start: as a film major, I could talk in length about several aspects of filmmaking, especially writing and directing.

      EDIT: I'm overwhelmed with such a high number of interesting responses. You guys and girls know a lot of interesting stuff that goes way beyond my intellectual abilities. This is not an attempt to be modest or to draw empty compliments, it's quite simply the truth. That is the reason I did not answer to any comment yet. I wanted to make a proportional effort (I also got a new dog and he's awesome, but that's unrelated hahaha). I will try to do so tonight, and probably create a related thread to you guys can speak a little more about your awesome obsessions. Cheers!

      39 votes
    7. A PV Solar company wants to build a PV farm on our land. I am not sure what to do.

      My dad died a couple years ago and I inherited a farm in the central EU. Some of the land is farm land, some zoned residential. My plan was to rent this house out Airbnb style. The surroundings...

      My dad died a couple years ago and I inherited a farm in the central EU. Some of the land is farm land, some zoned residential. My plan was to rent this house out Airbnb style. The surroundings are very pastural. This is the appeal for “agro-tourism.” We are also very close to ski resorts.

      My farm plot is the smallest of all the neighbors, but it is dead center in the planned farm. They want a 30 year lease for our land. One neighbor has already agreed. They are offering about $2500/hectare/year.

      My neighbors are actually farmers, and to them this is a big chunk of money. Especially as they have 10+ hectares each, I only have 1.25. For me the money is less than one month’s salary and is not that appealing. Also, this is about 15% of what I expected to make off of the Airbnb which would pay for my retirement. Yes, this is a privileged position.

      1. I don’t know what questions to ask in negotiations. One thing I verified is that inflation is included, year after year. What else?
        Note: Yes I will have a lawyer look at this, but honestly this is the first thing of its kind in our area.

      2. If you were renting out a house in ski-resort/farm country, would you care if there were a bunch solar panels in the fields instead of farm land? Would you like it more, or less?
        Note: I can upload photos or video to give you an idea of the area.

      3. Will this raise or lower the value of my home for resale?

      4. Any other general thoughts?

      Thanks!

      Edit: I should add that I am super-anti CO2, so my default position is “hell yes!” But I am just trying to be pragmatic about this. Of note is that this is the first time in my life I am experiencing a bit of NIMBY-ism. Also, I am extremely thankful for this opportunity.

      15 votes
    8. Do Nazis deserve electricity?

      I'm reading about the latest Gitlab shakeup, about (not?) filtering customers on moral grounds. Yesterday, it was Github's decision to continue to support ICE. There's Twitter's decision to allow...

      I'm reading about the latest Gitlab shakeup, about (not?) filtering customers on moral grounds. Yesterday, it was Github's decision to continue to support ICE. There's Twitter's decision to allow politicians to (somewhat?) violate its own rules about threats and harrassment. Blizzard banned a star video game player for speaking out about the Hong Kong protests.

      I'm on Mastodon, and while it's faded from the headlines a bit, the Gab-war still rages there, with the Tusky-v-Fediverse debate over apps blocking domains, and instances blocking other instances over their support for yet other instances.

      Yada.

      I'm thinking a lot these days about the "slippery slope". Mastodon, Twitter, Facebook, Github/lab, etc ... these are all business(-like) entities, privately controlled, which are nonetheless approaching the status of public infrastructure ... at least, sort of.

      PG&E intentionally shut off power to millions of Californians last week, to prevent hypothetical fires. You see where I'm going with this.

      When/As smart capabilities for power grid, ISP, etc emerge, do racists, white supremacists, get Internet? Electricity? Hospital/Ambulance service? Where is that line?

      Is reverse discrimination appropriate? "We don't rent to racists..."?

      Not sure what I'm expecting here. Just starting the thread, see where it goes.


      ETA: A really interesting, thoughtful 2-minute excerpt from a Rogan podcast


      Edit #2: The Hacker News thread that prompted me to start this thread.

      16 votes
    9. How I miss Halloween and why I'm not handing out candy

      Halloween has always been one of my favourite events of the year. I loved dressing up (though we always had to wear a winter coat over our costumes), I loved going trick-or-treating with my...

      Halloween has always been one of my favourite events of the year. I loved dressing up (though we always had to wear a winter coat over our costumes), I loved going trick-or-treating with my friends, and I loved sorting through our pillowcase of loot at the end of the night. I remember entire streets decorated as graveyards and how lively it was with kids everywhere. A few houses down from us, a neighbour set up a haunted house in their garage every year, and it ended with a warm hot chocolate with little marshmallows. We always planned to hit that house when we started getting cold.

      When my partner and I starting handing out candy, we were in a relatively newly developed neighbourhood, and had very few kids. We handed out full sized chocolate bars and chips, the best prizes when we were trick-or-treating! We took turns answering the door and just loved to see the costumes. We counted Darth Vaders and witches and whatever was popular that year. It was always a lot of fun.

      We stopped handing out candy about two years ago, mostly because I didn't want to get Nestle candy, which was the nut-free stuff that we usually got, and because it felt wasteful. There are a lot of drives right after Halloween where people basically dumped pounds of chocolate (either trading them to their dentist, or using them to make Halloween art). At work, every parent would bring in bags of candy to share. It was honestly just too much, especially considering the individually wrapped plastic. I've also started noticing that everyone is starting to sell plastic "Halloween candy reusable" bags, and I just really dislike that.

      We're always looking for an alternative because I still really want to take part in Halloween again. This year, we again decided against handing out candy, and I'm already missing seeing the little trick-or-treators and their costumes, and their joy in getting a little treat.

      26 votes
    10. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      12 votes
    11. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      11 votes
    12. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      10 votes
    13. A good discussion, deleted, *again*?

      I've noticed a trend (with Reddit, but I don't exclude the possibility it could be happening elsewhere) that people post a topic, then a day later they delete it. I've always been of the opinion...

      I've noticed a trend (with Reddit, but I don't exclude the possibility it could be happening elsewhere) that people post a topic, then a day later they delete it. I've always been of the opinion that the best use of a discussion forum is to leave an answered topic for future posters to find. Especially when a community is hardcore anti-repost.

      Am I the only one who gets annoyed by this, or have others come across this too?

      14 votes
    14. Where do you get your sense of community and belonging from?

      I watched this talk with David Brooks and I was blown away. It was an eloquent talk with strong words on how we need to find our sense of community again at a variety of levels (local to...

      I watched this talk with David Brooks and I was blown away. It was an eloquent talk with strong words on how we need to find our sense of community again at a variety of levels (local to national).

      So I'm curious, what communities are you involved in? If you don't have a sense of belonging, where would you like to belong?

      I suppose online communities would count, but I think the point is to have away-from-keyboard interactions because of the additional layers of intimacy.

      19 votes
    15. What's something you think more people should know about/be aware of?

      Anything goes topic-wise: serious or funny, major or minor, significant or inconsequential. The only criteria is that you think more people should know about or be aware of whatever it is you're...

      Anything goes topic-wise: serious or funny, major or minor, significant or inconsequential. The only criteria is that you think more people should know about or be aware of whatever it is you're choosing to share.

      Also, explain why you think it's necessary or valuable to spread that knowledge/awareness.

      29 votes
    16. What's your SILLY unpopular opinion?

      By putting the word SILLY in the title, I mean SERIOUS ISSUES such as those are strictly prohibited: politics religion abortion capital punishment gender politics anything else that usually causes...

      By putting the word SILLY in the title, I mean SERIOUS ISSUES such as those are strictly prohibited:

      • politics
      • religion
      • abortion
      • capital punishment
      • gender politics
      • anything else that usually causes trouble or heated discussion
      • anything that could lock this thread

      Allowed subjects:

      • movies
      • television
      • technology
      • love
      • food
      • animals
      • any seemeling stupid thing that will definetely NOT cause any kind of heated discssion
      49 votes
    17. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      10 votes
    18. What has made you laugh recently?

      I'm most interested in entertainment/media of any form - movies, tv shows, youtubers, stand-ups, theatre, music, whatever. Something that was really (truly) funny to you, not just "comedy genre"....

      I'm most interested in entertainment/media of any form - movies, tv shows, youtubers, stand-ups, theatre, music, whatever.

      Something that was really (truly) funny to you, not just "comedy genre".

      If you find yourself laughing more actively at the world around you then feel free to mention that too, with context.

      You can explain why it makes you laugh, too, if you like. Although more importantly please indicate how much you laughed at a particular thing.

      22 votes
    19. So I went along.

      Time for a story. Some of you might remember that I was planning on going abroad. I intended to visit New York City with one of my best friends, setting foot in the United States for the first...

      Time for a story.

      Some of you might remember that I was planning on going abroad. I intended to visit New York City with one of my best friends, setting foot in the United States for the first time in my life. I have had reservations about the actions and the state of politics of the US for a while, but I'm by no means an activist; I largely settle for small discussions regarding this topic, online or among friends. This means that I had not considered the current administration as a deterrent to my week-long trip.

      For the sake of what I'm about to talk in the rest of this post, some additional personal details are needed for context. I am a EU citizen and a second-generation immigrant, child of a parent born in North Africa. I was fortunate enough not to have to go through having to acquire a "real" visa as my country is part of the ESTA program. This program is a fast track of sorts that allows a non-citizen to get clearance to get into the US by providing information through an online form. As I went through that automated process, I arrived at one step that worried me: they asked about being a citizen of another country. Now, I have both an EU ID and passport but I have double-nationality from my parent and so I also have ID and (an expired) passport from that country.

      That country is not unstable or known to host terrorists or extremist organizations but I was wondering if I would be lumped in with immigrants from more troubled countries and so I hesitated to put that information at all. But then I figured that it would be a bad idea to lie and then have to explain why I lied if they figured out. And I didn't visit that country for a decade. So in the end I did input that info. This decision stayed with me and caused me anxiety until the end of the 72 hour waiting period. I thought about being denied while having already spent roughly a thousand bucks on the airplane ticket and the hotel. Fortunately in the end everything went through. That put my fears at ease.

      Let us fast forward to the day of the trip. My friend and I had the good idea to stay up really late the night before even though our flight was outrageously early. I think I slept for 3 hours if that. And during the 8 hour flight I absolutely could not sleep despite my best efforts. This is just me setting the stage for some heavy sleep deprivation.

      Arriving at JFK, we eventually stumble upon the horribly long queue for customs. When we got to an officer, my friend went first, giving his passport and scanning his fingerprints. I went just after him, doing the same. However, the officer seems to have an issue. They close their booth and ask me to follow them. My friend's watching and is like "wtf is going on", the only thing I manage to say is "welp later I guess", maybe not realizing what is going on.

      My passport withheld, I'm led to a waiting room... and told to wait there, no reason given. The officer tells me that "it" should be quick. As I scan the room, I mostly see Arab or Asian people with an additional one or two white-passing people. I sit and get my phone out to message my friend where I am and what I was told, when an agent immediately tells me that no phone is allowed. I can only imagine how panicked my friend was getting at that point.

      An hour passes.

      With still no reason given for what I'm going to call an arrest, I then had had time enough time to see people go through, leave and for others to take their place all the while I listened to the officers talk to each other and interact with the visitors.

      The ratio of people stayed mostly the same, meaning the majority was comprised of Arab and Asian people, roughly half didn't speak English at all. There were two types of processing. The first one was people waiting 20 minutes and getting called to a counter in the same room, getting their passport back and being allowed to leave. The second one was people waiting at least half an hour and getting summoned to go with an officer to an ominous corridor, staying at least half an hour and then being allowed to leave.

      The officers at the counter chatted within themselves in a friendly manner, typing on their computer at the same time, a nice front immediately shattered by how they talked down to everyone. One elderly person went to get something in their luggage placed at the opposite end of the room when two officers yell at them to sit back down. An asian person was using their phone unaware of the restriction when an officer warns them: "Don't use your phone. Don't use your phone! Hey! Don't use your phone! Oh for the love of- DON'T. USE. YOUR. PHOOONE." Apparently talking slowly to a visitor in a foreign language means they can obviously understand what the office is saying and that they're just acting like they don't understand. And more variations of cliché American cop tropes.

      A half hour passes - still no reason given.

      My friend tries to approach the room to get information and I hear an officer asking firmly for him to go away. (Un)fortunately an officer finally summons me. They lead me into a room and I'm invited to sit down. The officer apologizes for the wait, and then begins an hour long interview. They are very friendly and ask what places I intend to visit, they ask me about my childhood, my parents, my relation to my other country, my education, my hobbies, my jobs. Then I'm asked to unlock my phone. They go through every app and ask me to explain what they all do. They capture my Facebook name, contact names, what is open in my browser, and more stuff that I can't see.

      I cannot describe how distressing it is to see an officer of the law go through your phone. I could not predict if they would stumble problematic material or if they would interpret things the wrong way. This is why I hate people that say "oh I don't care about privacy, I've got nothing to hide". You think I have anything at all to hide?! I am a law-abiding citizen of my country, I have never harbored any intention of committing a crime in my entire life, I can't harm a fly for heaven's sake!

      And finally after all of this I am allowed to go. I get to my friend and hug them and try to get out of this place as fast as possible.

      Maybe you're wondering if I tried to oppose any of this? Hell no. Not using my phone, waiting without reason, giving an ungodly amount of personal information and give access to my phone to a stranger, I did not fight through any of this. Why? I was afraid. I was an alien going through customs in the Patriot Act era. It was very clear to me that if I tried to block any of this process I would not go out of that airport to the US. I have my principles in privacy, but I did not want to waste a literal thousand bucks and more of my time.

      So I went along.

      50 votes
    20. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      9 votes
    21. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      10 votes
    22. What do you want someone to ask you about?

      Did something cool recently, and no one’s bothered to ask? Got some stuff on your chest, and no one’s checking in? Super passionate about a niche topic that not too many people think of? Toss your...

      Did something cool recently, and no one’s bothered to ask?

      Got some stuff on your chest, and no one’s checking in?

      Super passionate about a niche topic that not too many people think of?

      Toss your question-hopeful here, and let someone pop it!

      37 votes
    23. When can lying be a virtue?

      You're with your wife at a party. At your eyes, she looks absolutely stunning. But, with the years, she gained a lot of weight. She asks you: "Honey, does this dress makes me look fat?". And it...
      1. You're with your wife at a party. At your eyes, she looks absolutely stunning. But, with the years, she gained a lot of weight. She asks you: "Honey, does this dress makes me look fat?". And it does. It definitely does. Is lying virtuous in this situation?

      2. You're in a relationship. He's handsome, tender, caring and perfect. You feel a bundle of good feelings towards him, but you don't even know what "love" really is. You don't know the true nature of your sentiments, but you know they're strong and you don't wanna hurt his feelings. He asks if you love him. Saying no would be false. Saying yes would be false too. Is lying virtuous in this situation?

      3. A three-year-old is dying of cancer. He's only got a few days. He asks you if he's gonna live. You say "yes". Is lying virtuous in this situation?

      4. Your fellow soldier lost his legs and torso. He's bleeding through his mouth and high on morphine. He asks you if everything's gonna be okay. You say yes. Is lying virtuous in this situation?

      5. You've been married for 5 years and, after some problems, you decide to take a real break (not like Ross and Rachael). During this break, you have sex with several woman/men. You decide to resume the relationship, but you know your partner would not be able to deal with your sexual adventures. When he/she ask about it, you say you didn't see anyone in the time you were apart. Is lying virtuous in this situation?

      6. You know the project is dead. You also know that saying so will have absolutely no effect on its direction. Do you say the project is shit, or do you say it's got a shot just to save face? In that case, is there any virtue in telling the truth?

      7. You believe A is true, but you also know that declaring A right now will lead to unfavorable result C. Do you declare A right now, or do you wait to declare it when it will lead to favorable result D? This guy knows what I'm talking about...

      12 votes
    24. What are the Big Problems?

      What are the Big Problems? I'm leaving this open-ended, there's no specific criteria for responses. I'm interested in both your list and the reasons why. Submitting your list before reading...

      What are the Big Problems? I'm leaving this open-ended, there's no specific criteria for responses.

      I'm interested in both your list and the reasons why. Submitting your list before reading others' contributions would be preferred.

      Optionally: who is (or isn't) successfully addressing them. Individuals, organizations, companies, governments, other. How and/or why not?

      I've asked this question periodically on several forums (G+, Reddit, HN) for seven years now.

      I've written fairly extensively on my own views, reasonably findable if you wish, but my interest here is in gaining fresh input, resetting my own biases, and not colouring the discussion overly myself.

      34 votes
    25. What are your guilty pleasures?

      If I had a really rough day or accomplished more than expected, I make sure to reward myself as such. I've found that I treat myself to a local pizzeria or take a bath in steaming hot water and...

      If I had a really rough day or accomplished more than expected, I make sure to reward myself as such. I've found that I treat myself to a local pizzeria or take a bath in steaming hot water and zone out from the world for an hour.

      19 votes
    26. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      13 votes
    27. Polite vs Helpful

      I've noticed an interesting cultural difference between New Yorkers and Californians. Lets say I am a bumbling tourist, inconsiderately impeding foot traffic, yet clearly lost and in need of help....

      I've noticed an interesting cultural difference between New Yorkers and Californians.

      Lets say I am a bumbling tourist, inconsiderately impeding foot traffic, yet clearly lost and in need of help.

      New Yorkers, in my limited experience, will bluntly say "hey moron, get outa the way," but then there is always one willing to help me out if I ask.

      Californians, in general, will be very polite, but typically get a little nervous if a complete stranger asks for help.

      Disclaimer: I've lived in California, but have only visited New York, so my observations are a little biased.

      8 votes
    28. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      8 votes
    29. What are some good Mobile Home Pages?

      Recently, Mobile Chrome on Android gave the ability to set your own Homepage. I hate the default new tab page on Chrome and used Currently for my new tab please until that went under, and now I...

      Recently, Mobile Chrome on Android gave the ability to set your own Homepage. I hate the default new tab page on Chrome and used Currently for my new tab please until that went under, and now I use Simple. Is there anything like either of those for mobile, or some other portal that you would prefer so I'm not mindlessly encouraged to go to commonly visited websites?

      10 votes
    30. Who is "John Smith" in your country?

      In English-speaking countries, the name "John Smith" is often used as a placeholder name because it's boring and common: John is one of the most common first names among English-speaking men, and...

      In English-speaking countries, the name "John Smith" is often used as a placeholder name because it's boring and common: John is one of the most common first names among English-speaking men, and Smith is the most common surname/family name among English-descended people. Together, they make a very boring and bland name.

      What's the equivalent in your country? What's the most boring, common name? What do people use as a placeholder when they need to use a name that isn't a real person but looks like it could be a real person?

      35 votes
    31. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      8 votes
    32. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      10 votes
    33. What would a climate crisis doomday bunker need?

      I have been thinking recently, if a climate crisis is almost inevitable at this point what actions could an individual take to stay safe? I'm thinking some kind of underground bunker able to to...

      I have been thinking recently, if a climate crisis is almost inevitable at this point what actions could an individual take to stay safe? I'm thinking some kind of underground bunker able to to sustain life. The main things you would need is power, water and food. The power is fairly simple since you could set up solar and wind generation and probably use that to grow food underground but I'm wondering what you would do for water. How possible would it be to collect barrels from the sea and have a personal desalination plant.

      10 votes
    34. Kind Words (Tildes Edition)

      For those that aren't familiar with it, Kind Words is a recently released "game" where players can write a message about a difficulty they're facing or something that's troubling them. Other real...

      For those that aren't familiar with it, Kind Words is a recently released "game" where players can write a message about a difficulty they're facing or something that's troubling them. Other real people in the game can then respond, letting that person know that they're not alone. Players can also write un-addressed messages of positivity in the game, which are spread to other users via paper airplanes.

      I figured we could have a thread on Tildes with our own version of the game via comments.

      Here's how I figure it will work. We'll have three post types:

      Request: share your situation in order to get kind words in response
      Response: offer kind words to other people who have posted here
      Airplane: write general thoughts of goodwill for all the readers of the thread

      Please begin your post by naming its type in bold font. For those posing Requests, please let people know if you would rather receive public responses or PMs.

      Example post:

      Request: Sometimes I find myself wondering if there's any point to anything. It feels like I'm working so hard at meaningless stuff, just to get by. Anyone else feel this way?

      That isn't my request, just an example of what someone might type.

      Remember that the point of the thread is to let people know that they are heard and that they are not alone!

      Let's all be kind!

      27 votes
    35. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      10 votes
    36. How do you handle your different online identities versus your real life identity?

      I've recently been trying to confront the fact that a lot of the things I want to do online work best if they've got some connection to my real life identity (or will eventually, almost by...

      I've recently been trying to confront the fact that a lot of the things I want to do online work best if they've got some connection to my real life identity (or will eventually, almost by necessity, become connected). Things like working on open source software, writing, etc. almost always seem to lead back to other people knowing at the very least your real name and probably your email address.

      I know that my threat model for people going after my identity is a lot different from someone with nation-state level adversaries like Ed Snowden or various activists, but I still find it hard to decide what gets to be connected to what. Do I put my real name on my GitHub account? Do I post things on my GitHub blog to here? Should I have my real name on my Twitter account? What about the fact that some of my usernames resemble each other?

      I'm not necessarily looking for advice about my particular situation, but I would really like to hear how other people have dealt with such situations and what you generally think about things like identity compartmentalization.

      37 votes
    37. Do you ever feel like you want to commit asymmetric, vengeful acts of violence, despite feeling that you are otherwise well-adjusted?

      I was crossing the street at an intersection in the Banker's Hill neighborhood of San Diego. Like many neighborhoods of my new home, this area was sorely, sorely, lacking in street lighting. Along...

      I was crossing the street at an intersection in the Banker's Hill neighborhood of San Diego. Like many neighborhoods of my new home, this area was sorely, sorely, lacking in street lighting. Along with this deficiency, the crosswalks were of the "unmarked" kind, and you can forget about additional safety features like raised crosswalks and HAWK beacons.

      As I am crossing, I notice an incoming driver, who seems to be stopping at the stop sign. Knowing that I am likely invisible, I start waving, hoping to get some sort of acknowledgement so I can cross in front of them. He just looks at me bemusingly, and continues on driving in front of me as I am trying to cross the street.

      I am likely to regret having this feeling at all. And I know I am unlikely to have this feeling next week, or even tomorrow. But some primal part of me, despite not knowing this person or even their perspective, deeply wants to hurt them. And frankly, I am having trouble dealing with it.

      I keep imagining acts of violence I can commit. As I was walking I picked up a nice rock, in case of, nay, hoping that another inconsiderate jerk proves my theory that the DMV hands out licenses like candy. I feel inspired by violent scenes like this one from 28 days later, at 7:50, and I imagine myself committing the same sort of violence against someone who has wronged me in a comparatively minor way. I feel as if the public safety system has failed me and failed society, and the only manner to fix it is to take justice in my own hands, and in a narcissistic manner assign myself the role of judge, jury, and executioner. And the great irony is, is that I feel like I must commit a great act of unjust violence in order to prevent a great act of unjust violence.

      And amazingly, after writing out a diatribe on my dangerously hypocritical feelings, I feel lesser temptations to react on my revenge fantasy. Somehow, writing it out feels therapeutic, and my brain seems less fixated on fight or flight and moreso on introspection. I feel more normal again. I acknowledge my previous beliefs that karma isn't real, bad things happen to good people, and that doing bad things to others, even if I think it is just, isn't going to solve anything.

      So what the hell just happened to me?

      14 votes
    38. Former nail biters --- how did you quit?

      I'm sitting here reading about Jeremy Renner's failed app and new Amazon store and filing my nails down. I've mostly stopped biting, but I still do every so often. So if you've quit, how the hell...

      I'm sitting here reading about Jeremy Renner's failed app and new Amazon store and filing my nails down. I've mostly stopped biting, but I still do every so often.

      So if you've quit, how the hell did you do it? The bad tasting nail polish stuff doesn't taste bad enough for me... is there an Allen Carr for biters?

      22 votes
    39. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      7 votes
    40. Turkey Information Thread: AmA you're curious about Turkey

      @gergir mentioned the idea, and I thought, why not give it a try? I'm a young adult from Turkey, lived up until now in Istanbul. Whether specific to that city or not, and whether about life,...

      @gergir mentioned the idea, and I thought, why not give it a try?

      I'm a young adult from Turkey, lived up until now in Istanbul. Whether specific to that city or not, and whether about life, tourist attractions, politics, culture, etc., just AmA.

      If you have anything you don't want to publicly ask, I'l love to help if you PM me your question.

      32 votes
    41. What did a fictional character say that stuck with you?

      Always loved some of the quotes from Harry Potter - Sirius Black and Dumbledore having the better ones. "If you want to know what a man’s like, judge him on the way he treats his inferiors, not...

      Always loved some of the quotes from Harry Potter - Sirius Black and Dumbledore having the better ones.

      "If you want to know what a man’s like, judge him on the way he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
      — Sirius Black

      35 votes