Akir's recent activity
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Comment on Zach Bryan - Lies ft. Lana Del Rey (2026) in ~music
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Comment on Anyone read "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents"? What was your experience with it? in ~health.mental
Akir Link ParentThat wasn't quite how it was; our estrangement was in 2008 and his death was in 2020. Though really, by the time I had sent it, I think it was just about a year or so between sending it and his...That wasn't quite how it was; our estrangement was in 2008 and his death was in 2020. Though really, by the time I had sent it, I think it was just about a year or so between sending it and his death.
I really don't regret anything I wrote in the letter. It was cathartic. Maybe he just couldn't read it because the ink got smeared from my tears? I told him that I knew that things were really hard for him, because yes, they really were - it was an economic depression and he was a small business owner with an undiagnosed mental disorder, in an industry that had basically been disappearing and is mostly gone these days (electronics repair). It was as close to forgiveness as there could ever be.
But honestly, after all of that? The only reason I was able to remember the year he died was because he was in the Army at one point and he was buried in a military grave, and those are easy to look up. My sister, on the other hand, is seven years older than me, and remembers a younger man who wasn't as tortured by his illness. She remembered having a "fun dad", and in some respects she got a much worse experience than I did.
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Comment on Swedish game developer Liquid Swords goes bankrupt – Samson, their only released project, received mixed reviews from critics and gamers this year in ~games
Akir LinkThis is literally the first time I've heard of this company or it's game. While I did enjoy the Just Cause games, they really kind of struck me as games that kind of stretched a fun gameplay...This is literally the first time I've heard of this company or it's game.
While I did enjoy the Just Cause games, they really kind of struck me as games that kind of stretched a fun gameplay concept just a bit too far. Jumpsuit-grappling is fun, but it would be more fun if I didn't have to do it everywhere all the time everywhere for everything.
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Comment on Anyone read "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents"? What was your experience with it? in ~health.mental
Akir LinkI haven’t read the book but after reading a summary and hearing about the healing fantasy that was harrowing. There are two childhood memories I have which I consider key to me growing up: Me,...I haven’t read the book but after reading a summary and hearing about the healing fantasy that was harrowing.
There are two childhood memories I have which I consider key to me growing up:
Me, alone, wailing in a bunk bed as a final “Hail Mary” (metaphorical - we were Southern Baptists) prayer to god to fix my father because I knew there was something wrong with him. After this I lost my faith in God.
Then, later in life, me and my father sitting in the kitchen, with him wailing loudly because his wife was in the hospital. Yes, it was bad, but she was getting the help she needed and she was getting noticeably better. He was so helpless that he brought his ex-wife in to take care of him and take care of basic things like washing his clothes and preparing basic food like Mac and cheese. That was the point in which I realized that not only was I more mature than he was, I had been for years at that point and he wasn’t actually worth all of the sympathy and effort I had been giving him all that time.
As one might guess from that last sentence our relationship wasn’t the most friendly after that and we weren’t on speaking terms for the rest of his life. He had undiagnosed schizophrenia, it turned out, so he was a proto-MAGA type, always on the next conspiracy theory, and he died of COVID.
My resolution wasn’t his death though. It was shortly before. I wrote him a very long heartfelt handwritten letter explaining how I felt and what I needed if he wanted to have a relationship with me.
He responded with a single typed paragraph asking me when I would see him.
As my sister put it, the man who was our father died long before his body did. That is what untreated mental disorder does to you.
Your only choice is to love the good things that happened, accept that the bad things have, but in the case of surviving relationships, recognize that you don’t have to accept their continuing bad behaviors.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (October 2026) in ~health.mental
Akir Link ParentMy god this week has been rough. I had so many breakdowns over the past few days that I don't know if I should count them or if I should just chalk this week up to a single long-form breakdown. I...My god this week has been rough. I had so many breakdowns over the past few days that I don't know if I should count them or if I should just chalk this week up to a single long-form breakdown.
I wrote a dozen paragraphs but I realized how insane it made me look - and to be fair, I probably actually was. Basically, I was stuck in healthcare bureaucracy. The thing that was driving me crazy was that the issue I have been dealing with was related to sleep apnea, so as part of this, I haven't slept well for the last 2 months. The last week in particular have seen me average about 4 hours per night.
Over the past week I've been talking to at least a dozen people in the way of my doctor. Maybe two or three of them were nurses, but most of them were some form of receptionist, scheduler, or administrative whatchamacallit. I'm not sure if there's been a day when I haven't been dealing with them for one reason or another. There's been false starts. Mistaken calls. People making the wrong appointment types.
Today was the worst, because we finally got it done, in theory. A phone appointment was made. 9AM. Because they call my Google Voice number and not my cell phone number, it goes straight to voicemail. I try to call back, but get a call center; I have to make a new appointment. I scream and have a panic attack. I call back a bit later and come to the decision of going in person to try to talk to the doctor and even then I can't go in and talk to the doctor who is just a few paces away, the receptionist literally just emails them to try to call me - this time with the correct phone number so there's no mistakes!
They call and it goes straight to voicemail.
I'm broken at this point so I go home.
After a bit of recovery time I try to get things fixed. I realize that there's a simple reason why I didn't get the last call - I couldn't have. There's terrible reception at the clinic and I was too neurotic to think about connecting to the wifi. Shortly after I realize this I get a call.
it's the doctor.
The call log shows that the conversation was 9 minutes long.
If I had the energy for it, I'd be pissed at how much time and effort has been put in place to prevent such a small amount of care from being performed. I was literally right there: just a few yards away from him. I was able and willing to do everything it took to cut away the barriers, but in the end I was fighting against a rigid system instead of cooperating with one that should have been building toward the same goal.
On the other hand my actual doctor is still pretty great, though I have very little faith in his assertion that an allergist is actually the right direction.
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Comment on Metallica’s James Hetfield has a message for entertainers who bring their ‘bullshit‘ agenda to the stage in ~music
Akir Link ParentGenerally speaking, if you are a public figure and you haven’t made a public statement about a controversial subject I just have to assume you have the bad opinion. I.e. you like Trump, support...Generally speaking, if you are a public figure and you haven’t made a public statement about a controversial subject I just have to assume you have the bad opinion. I.e. you like Trump, support Israel, are pro-life, etc.
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Comment on I deliberately bet like a problem gambler. DraftKings made me a VIP. in ~tech
Akir Link ParentFrankly I don’t understand how we as a society suddenly decided that gambling was something we decided was just going to be OK everywhere instead of a thing that the mafia handled.Frankly I don’t understand how we as a society suddenly decided that gambling was something we decided was just going to be OK everywhere instead of a thing that the mafia handled.
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Comment on All eighty books banned in Minnesota last year came from one school in ~books
Akir Link ParentI meant to use "queer" as an inclusive term, but perhaps it should have been specified.I meant to use "queer" as an inclusive term, but perhaps it should have been specified.
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Comment on All eighty books banned in Minnesota last year came from one school in ~books
Akir Link ParentI couldn't find what grade levels they taught, but typically US schools are split into elementary, middle / jr. high, and high schools.I couldn't find what grade levels they taught, but typically US schools are split into elementary, middle / jr. high, and high schools.
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Comment on Epic Games reportedly pivoting to “AI first” game development model in ~tech
Akir LinkWhat a shame. I remember being so impressed way back when I first saw... what, UT2003? Using zbrush to create ultra high resolution models to make normal maps and have super realistic looking...What a shame. I remember being so impressed way back when I first saw... what, UT2003? Using zbrush to create ultra high resolution models to make normal maps and have super realistic looking models that would work on commodity hardware of the time.
But honestly? Since then, all the games they've developed in-house kind of look like lumpy messes anyway. I know they have artistic talent, but the producers have always pushed them to keep generating the same aesthetic over and over again. There was the Gears of War age, and now we're in the Fortnite age. Who knows, maybe the AI age will make things look like a slightly different kind of lumpy play-doh shape.
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Comment on Epic Games reportedly pivoting to “AI first” game development model in ~tech
Akir Link ParentI've found LLM roleplay to be rather dull, personally, but then again it hasn't been exactly what you're talking about.I've found LLM roleplay to be rather dull, personally, but then again it hasn't been exactly what you're talking about.
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Comment on All eighty books banned in Minnesota last year came from one school in ~books
Akir Link ParentKrebsbach didn't even order them. He just recommended them. This article is kind of just brushing over the fact that the school district and parents turned Krebsbach into a scapegoat when clearly...Krebsbach didn't even order them. He just recommended them. This article is kind of just brushing over the fact that the school district and parents turned Krebsbach into a scapegoat when clearly he wasn't the only one involved in the decision to buy the books. He wasn't even a librarian; he was an assistant librarian.
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Comment on All eighty books banned in Minnesota last year came from one school in ~books
Akir Link ParentWell given how much damage they've done with their anti-repair stance on their tractors, clearly, John Deere is evil. I'm not sure if this comment is sarcastic or not but I'm leaving off the...Well given how much damage they've done with their anti-repair stance on their tractors, clearly, John Deere is evil.
I'm not sure if this comment is sarcastic or not but I'm leaving off the sarcasm tag nonetheless.
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Comment on All eighty books banned in Minnesota last year came from one school in ~books
Akir Link ParentI'm afraid that it seems disingenuous because the people who challenge these books are actually disingenuous. They are bad people who hate queer people and think that exposure to them will turn...I'm afraid that it seems disingenuous because the people who challenge these books are actually disingenuous. They are bad people who hate queer people and think that exposure to them will turn their kids queer. I don't have a way to prove it, but this story has happened so frequently here in the US that I can practically guarantee that the books that they have mentioned are likely the most "graphic" titles because at least one of them - Gender Queer - is on ALA's list of most challenged books. The Bluest Eye and The Kite Runner are also very frequently challenged.
If parents wanted to discuss the ability of their children to access certain books, there were certainly better ways to do it than to remove them from shelves and to fire the queer librarian.
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Comment on Denmark tests humanoid robots in supermarkets to help to ease staff workload at night in ~tech
Akir Link ParentSo are they also shipping them with big blocks of ice so that they can last out in the sun for when people aren't there to pick them up immediately? Perishable foods is the big problem with...So are they also shipping them with big blocks of ice so that they can last out in the sun for when people aren't there to pick them up immediately? Perishable foods is the big problem with grocery delivery. Given that those trucks aren't cooled, that's going to be a considerable amount of weight.
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Comment on Denmark tests humanoid robots in supermarkets to help to ease staff workload at night in ~tech
Akir Link ParentI'm not sure I buy that environment claim. I doubt how much carbon savings there are for grocery delivery. For old-school delivery - where you set up a delivery date and a big truck comes up on a...I'm not sure I buy that environment claim. I doubt how much carbon savings there are for grocery delivery. For old-school delivery - where you set up a delivery date and a big truck comes up on a long route with 50 other homes - absolutely! But it seems like most grocery delivery services are focused on short delivery windows, so drivers are being dispatched to the stores/warehouses and then to your house. From an environmental standpoint, there's little difference to just driving to the store yourself, especially with platforms like Instacart which are literally just shopping at your local market.
Then again there are many different delivery services and I'm sure they are all operating differently, so YMMV. Especially talking about non-US markets, where cars aren't always involved in the equation.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (October 2026) in ~health.mental
Akir LinkI had a follow up with a doctor today. In my previous appointment I broke down crying. I had told him that I had already given up on a therapy because it kept me up at night, but he encouraged me...I had a follow up with a doctor today.
In my previous appointment I broke down crying. I had told him that I had already given up on a therapy because it kept me up at night, but he encouraged me to keep going because it was the only way to see how to get through with it. I had already seen two specialists about the issue. I've been dealing with this issue for years with no solutions. The thing about it is that if I'm not trying to deal with the problem, it doesn't actually bother me.
This follow up was two months later and he had congratulated me for keeping up with it in spite of the difficulties.
He offered no solutions for the difficulties I was going through. He said maybe I should ask my regular doctor, and offered another follow-up later. I politely declined, and after leaving promptly had another breakdown. Thankfully it was a video appointment so I could scream in my own home.
I've been in a depressed state for the rest of the day.
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Comment on Popcorn! What's the best way to make it? in ~food
Akir Link ParentFrom my extra crunchy granola contacts I've actually had them recommend using aquafaba as the popcorn moistening agent, but I didn't want to try putting that in a spraybottle and it had weird...From my extra crunchy granola contacts I've actually had them recommend using aquafaba as the popcorn moistening agent, but I didn't want to try putting that in a spraybottle and it had weird effects when sprinkling it on popcorn because it kind of just gums it up. The spraybottle just kinda works and you can use saltwater as well (though I personally wouldn't because I just have an all-purpose water sprayer).
To their credit, though, bean juice and popcorn did actually taste pretty good once you get over the soggy popcorn texture, especially when you added lots of nooch.
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Comment on Software developers are not okay in ~tech
Akir Link ParentIsn't that also a bad way of thinking? If you want to be involved in the way things are managed, why would you only want to be part of a temporary job? Pay is only part of the experience, after...Isn't that also a bad way of thinking? If you want to be involved in the way things are managed, why would you only want to be part of a temporary job? Pay is only part of the experience, after all. But everyone has different motivations.
I didn't put it in my earlier comment but I was starting to wonder if I should include Google and Meta in that shortlist of legacy tech companies. Yeah, they're not that old relatively, but we're all getting older and they're well established at this point.
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Comment on Software developers are not okay in ~tech
Akir Link ParentPersonally speaking I’ve been viewing this topic as a sister to the vibe-coded adobe suite one, and under that light your response is almost funny. The so much of the world’s capital is dominated...Personally speaking I’ve been viewing this topic as a sister to the vibe-coded adobe suite one, and under that light your response is almost funny. The so much of the world’s capital is dominated by large monolithic legacy tech companies: Adobe, Oracle, Microsoft, Apple, etc.
Moreover, large companies tend to buy out smaller companies in the same industry all the time to increase their market share, so for the people in that company any “freedom” they get from that company’s practices could very easily be temporary. But it likely won’t matter anyways because they won’t unionize in this small company so they won’t have any control over their futures. This is assuming they stay in the same company to begin with instead of simply jumping ship and moving to greener pastures.
It’s not that new tech companies can’t happen obviously, it’s just that the deck is stacked against them and without unionization most of the people are going to be at the whims of a select few.
I wonder if labeling this country is hurting the reception to this? Much like pretty much all modern country genre music, it doesn’t sound much like country music to me, it sounds like a regular ballad.
It’s a shame, because it’s a beautiful and haunting bittersweet song.