Akir's recent activity
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Comment on When video games were brown in ~games
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Comment on The fifty most underappreciated movies of the 21st century in ~movies
Akir Link ParentYeah, it was weird going into Isle of Dogs and it felt at times like it were a remake of Mr. Fox. But I also think that Wes Anderson's reputation is probably what breaks him. He makes comedy...Yeah, it was weird going into Isle of Dogs and it felt at times like it were a remake of Mr. Fox. But I also think that Wes Anderson's reputation is probably what breaks him. He makes comedy movies. They are supposed to be funny. They don't all need to make you think and feel profound things.
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Comment on The fifty most underappreciated movies of the 21st century in ~movies
Akir LinkI'm surprised to see Shortbus on this list. Frankly it's one of those movies that I'm always surprised to see other people remembering it, not because it isn't memorable, but because it was such a...I'm surprised to see Shortbus on this list. Frankly it's one of those movies that I'm always surprised to see other people remembering it, not because it isn't memorable, but because it was such a strange niche film. The only reason I got to see it was because it came out at the peak of my piracy days - though I did purchase a physical version later.
It's interesting that the author describes it as feeling like a relic of a lost time, because I don't think it was ever truly a product of its time either. It was a product that came up naturally amongst people who were largely part of the Radical Faeries - gay hippies, essentially - and was therefore always outside of the norms of society. But I think that's something that makes it timeless. It may be a product of the time it was made, but it remains one of the most earnest and open explorations on what we need from our relationships ever to be put to film. And it has one of the best soundtracks to boot!
It's also really strange that Monkeybone is on this list. That movie was really terrible and was a rather famous flop for decades. Also, why put hamlet on the list and not it's sequel?
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Comment on Netflix ditches deal for Warner Bros. Discovery after Paramount’s offer is deemed superior in ~movies
Akir Link ParentBetween this and the general enshittification of steaming platforms, it really does feel like the invisible hand of the marketplace is pushing people towards piracy.Between this and the general enshittification of steaming platforms, it really does feel like the invisible hand of the marketplace is pushing people towards piracy.
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Comment on What are some bands you regret not seeing live (or, just never had the chance to see in the first place)? in ~music
Akir LinkNightwish, a band that is still around and kicking, but every time I look into them they have a new singer and a nearly completely different sound. The time I last saw them touring where I am was...Nightwish, a band that is still around and kicking, but every time I look into them they have a new singer and a nearly completely different sound. The time I last saw them touring where I am was the era when I liked them best, and since the singer is no longer with them, the songs I would like to hear live will be incredibly different from what I would want them to be.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentI'm not suggesting any action other than helping men to understand that there is no such thing as being forever alone, and that if they want a relationship then they need time and personal growth.I'm not suggesting any action other than helping men to understand that there is no such thing as being forever alone, and that if they want a relationship then they need time and personal growth.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentWhat? No! Not at all. I'm saying the fact that there are less women than men in certain age groups doesn't mean that there will be some men who are doomed to be alone forever.What? No! Not at all. I'm saying the fact that there are less women than men in certain age groups doesn't mean that there will be some men who are doomed to be alone forever.
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Comment on Help me untangle my 3d printer filament in ~tech
Akir LinkYeah, don't do it again. :P In all seriousness, though, I'd print some mini spools and cut at places where it gets tangled. It's still inconvenient to need to change spools often, but it gets rid...Yeah, don't do it again. :P
In all seriousness, though, I'd print some mini spools and cut at places where it gets tangled. It's still inconvenient to need to change spools often, but it gets rid of a lot of frustration now.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentI bring up sex not because I’m saying that men should just accept that they will never have sex, but to illustrate that the key to success was to grow past what it meant to be in a successful...I bring up sex not because I’m saying that men should just accept that they will never have sex, but to illustrate that the key to success was to grow past what it meant to be in a successful relationship. That is what is needed by a great many “forever alone” types, regardless of sex, gender, or sexual orientation. To say that there are men who are doomed to be alone forever is completely wrong though. Even with fewer women than men, that doesn’t mean that women will stay with a single partner for their entire life. I can only think of a handful of people who have managed that.
Accepting the premise that there are some men who will be alone forever is hugely damaging to both individuals and society as a whole. It creates incel culture, for one thing. There are more than a handful of incels out there who could much more easily find partners if they just fixed their perspective on life.
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Comment on goggle: A GoG Download CLI in ~games
Akir Link ParentIt's the same for MacOS. IIRC you could also download other versions as well but I'm not in a place to look up right now.It's the same for MacOS. IIRC you could also download other versions as well but I'm not in a place to look up right now.
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Comment on Third spaces: What do we want, and how do we get them? in ~life
Akir LinkThe fundamental problem with third spaces is that they are businesses, and thus are always set to extract value from it's patrons instead of enrich them. For that reason alone I am against the...The fundamental problem with third spaces is that they are businesses, and thus are always set to extract value from it's patrons instead of enrich them. For that reason alone I am against the idea of them. But a while ago I saw a video that further set me against the idea.
But regardless of my personal opinion, the main problem with the concept of third spaces is less to do with how many there are and almost entirely to do with society's greater problems.
if you think about it, third spaces are everywhere. What is stopping you from talking to someone in the grocery store, the gas station, or the fast food place you're grabbing lunch at? Or to paraphrase another commenter, what is stopping you from visiting your library or groups at the community center in your town?
There's probably more that I can say but I'm running out of time now.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentI’m seeing a common theme among a lot of the lower-voted comments here. I’m responding to you because your comment talked about it most directly but please know this isn’t directed specifically to...I’m seeing a common theme among a lot of the lower-voted comments here. I’m responding to you because your comment talked about it most directly but please know this isn’t directed specifically to you.
It seems a big problem for men is this idea that sex is necessary. And I totally get it; when I was young I felt the same way. But then I had sex. It was incredible that being with someone could make me feel so good. But that was not a relationship, and it hurt when I was effectively ignored from then on. I had sex with more people and while most of those had the intention of becoming relationships they didn’t end up working out. One of those people I had sex with eventually came back after about a year and we started dating more seriously. Eventually we got married.
There are two twists to that story though. The first is that after we got back together, we didn’t have that much sex. Our attraction to each other was a lot more intimate in ways that extended beyond sex. One of the things you will learn over time is that the kind of lasting fulfilling relationship is something that older people will respect, but nobody outside of that relationship will ever come close to fully understanding. Heck, my spouse has an ex husband who is still part of his life, and by extension is a part of my life too.
The other twist is that I am a man and my spouse is a husband. There are considerably fewer gay men than there are straight women, and there were significantly fewer partners if you also consider I was looking for a long term relationship and it had to be someone who would have accepted someone who weighed more than 400 Lbs at the time!
One may read this and think “OK, you managed to get a partner, but statistically not everyone can.” And to that, I would respond that you are thinking too rigidly. When I met my husband, I was a fling; he was in a long distance relationship and I was basically there just to fulfill a need. But he grew and changed to see the value in me. I had never been with an Asian man before him and didn’t think he would have amounted to anything (who would have thought a young man could be casually racist?), but I grew and changed to realize the value in him. If we didn’t both decide to make a change, we would have been lonely for many many more years. Yes, there may be more men than women in your age group, but thinking of that as proof one will be lonely forever is also accepting so many negative assumptions. It’s assuming that you will not change, that all the women in the world will never change, and possibly even the idea that women are either permanent property or valueless after being in a serious relationship with a man.
There is much happiness to find in this world, but we often need to understand what it looks like, and that requires that we change and grow.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentYears ago, I heard this story on the radio about some country that had been through some civil war - I think Rwanda. They had a program that existed as a way to help mend the leftover pain and...Years ago, I heard this story on the radio about some country that had been through some civil war - I think Rwanda. They had a program that existed as a way to help mend the leftover pain and resentment that helped to trigger the war. What they did was they took teachers who were from communities who were primarily made up from one culture (tribe?) and force them to move and teach communities primarily of the other culture for five years. This let the teacher tell the young people about their own culture while forcing the teacher to learn about the culture they are immersed in, which would help eradicate the prejudice in their hearts. When they would move back home with their families they could tell them about the things they learned. If it really were Rwanda, then the program seems to have done a really fantastic job.
Obviously this isn’t something that would work for this situation, but the thing that the program did was force the conversation. And frankly I think that’s the only thing that will ever work, for any situation in which prejudice is an issue: the conversation must be forced to those who will not listen until they finally break down and start listening. Let them air their grievances because doing so is the only way they will let go of or otherwise be addressed. And without a program of that scale and caliber being possible, sharing these kinds of stories and articles - specifically like the OP post -is about as good as we can do.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentI’ve recently quit tic tok because I realized how bad it was for my mental health, and only then did I realize how bad filter bubbles have truly become. It’s still so strange to me that the...I’ve recently quit tic tok because I realized how bad it was for my mental health, and only then did I realize how bad filter bubbles have truly become. It’s still so strange to me that the internet has moved from being a place where you go to find varied perspectives and opinions to being a place where your pre-existing opinions are confirmed. The thing I never understood about filter bubbles until now is how they didn’t just remove dissenting voices, but more advanced algorithms effectively piece together a narrative that appears to be a majoritarian one because it comes from many people.
On your other point, one of the things I appreciate the most about the effects of queer liberation is the ability to opt out of the concepts of masculinity and femininity. That’s one of the reasons why I am so hard on men who insist on machismo; to me it feels homophobic to need to cling to this ideal, let alone the fact that it is hurting them and everyone around them.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentI would say the alternative to books is to read articles about feminism, but frankly that's a field too broad to put into a single article. Instead, maybe consider looking up more modern feminist...I would say the alternative to books is to read articles about feminism, but frankly that's a field too broad to put into a single article. Instead, maybe consider looking up more modern feminist frameworks such as the ethics of care and intersectionality.
Those links are to wikipedia, but of course wikipedia articles aren't meant to be persuasive, so I'd encourage you to find other articles about them.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentHave you considered that perhaps the problems you are having with feminism is the places you have these conversations in? Many places on the web have been poisoned by manosphere types, and I can...Have you considered that perhaps the problems you are having with feminism is the places you have these conversations in? Many places on the web have been poisoned by manosphere types, and I can understand if you feel that you don't want to talk about some of your thoughts here for the pushback you could get.
My suggestion is to simply read some books by feminist authors. There are pretty much no major misandrist voices in modern feminism and by most accounts feminists want to help men to live happier, healthier lives.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentOh, perhaps I misunderstood by the use of "us" in the article.Oh, perhaps I misunderstood by the use of "us" in the article.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentI am saying that the macho men are the ones creating the world that is causing the non-macho men to be lonely. Machismo hurts everyone, not just women or macho men. I really disagree with your...I am saying that the macho men are the ones creating the world that is causing the non-macho men to be lonely. Machismo hurts everyone, not just women or macho men.
I really disagree with your characterization of the article. Perhaps it’s not talking to you, because you are not a macho man. It’s being written in the perspective of women, but it’s targeting macho men.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentThe thing that kills me about the public rejection of feminism is the utter failure of the majority to learn what it is or even the definition of some of the most basic terms. “Toxic masculinity”,...The thing that kills me about the public rejection of feminism is the utter failure of the majority to learn what it is or even the definition of some of the most basic terms. “Toxic masculinity”, for instance, is a term to describe how masculine ideals hurt men, but the public decided instead that it means that all men are poisonous. What an absurd leap!
People like to pretend that feminism is some cult that came out of nowhere in the 1960s, but in reality is an evolution of the combined philosophies which is simply applying those principles more universally by examining the barrier of gender. It’s not something that can be disproven if you are actually making good faith attempts to understand the arguments. And more importantly, it’s (generally, but not always) not a means of putting women on top of society, but bringing true egalitarianism to be.
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Akir Link ParentTo me this is very clearly the other side of the coin. Women are calling men out because they are being macho creeps. Another commenter said they know one girl who is quick to reject boys when...To me this is very clearly the other side of the coin. Women are calling men out because they are being macho creeps. Another commenter said they know one girl who is quick to reject boys when they show signs of hiding their macho side, so it’s pretty easy to understand that the reason why this category of men are hurting still gets traced back to the behavior of the machismo crowd. To put things more succinctly, patriarchy hurts everyone.
If you ever find a way to tell people things they don’t want to hear, let me know.
I had a fun garbage theory at the time of this meme that video games were brown because then they could use monochrome textures to save memory space because those consoles had so little memory available to them. The biggest reason why PS4 games looked better than PS3 games (other than improved anti-aliasing, which was very jarring in a lot of PS3 games) was that there were no longer visible texture artifacts everywhere.