Akir's recent activity
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Comment on Humble Choice - May 2026 in ~games
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Comment on The PHP license, simplified in ~comp
Akir Link ParentIf you're really cool, for one. Seriously, though, I think I've heard that companies look for specific open source licenses when they are looking to incorporate libraries and other support...If you're really cool, for one.
Seriously, though, I think I've heard that companies look for specific open source licenses when they are looking to incorporate libraries and other support software into their products and services, so I'd imagine OSI approval is likely just one of the easier boxes to check before they see if they can really use it.
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Comment on Apple has reached a preliminary deal with Intel to make chips in the US in ~tech
Akir LinkWoah, that was a curveball! It’s certainly surprising to see Apple cutting off their dependency on Intel’s x86 platform altogether only to come back to contract them for manufacturing. This is...Woah, that was a curveball! It’s certainly surprising to see Apple cutting off their dependency on Intel’s x86 platform altogether only to come back to contract them for manufacturing. This is actually great news for everyone.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentThank you very much. I do understand where you are coming from and I’m sorry for not responding to your fears more reasonably. I understand your fears and I empathize with it. The bond between a...Thank you very much. I do understand where you are coming from and I’m sorry for not responding to your fears more reasonably. I understand your fears and I empathize with it. The bond between a parent and child is so important. I also want to state for the record I have always known you were coming from a good place when you wrote that.
But at the same time I want you to understand that operating out of a place of fear can blind you to what is happening. The people cutting ties with their parents aren’t doing so because their parents are angry sometimes. They are doing it because they are at an impasse and cannot continue forward. You making the wrong decision with your kid is not going to break apart your relationship, but sticking to those wrong decisions regardless of being told countless times that you are hurting your kid because of it will, and that is the thing that is happening in these cases. The simple fact that you fear this happening and are willing to make changes to avoid it happening is a great sign that it won’t happen to you. You’re a good person!
On the other hand I did grow up and I began to understand my father more, and that only cemented the justifications for cutting him out of my life. As I made more adult relationships with parents, more and more of his actions became more concretely obvious that they were inexcusable. His mental illness explained them, but there’s no excuse for the damage done. We begged him to get help but he refused. At the end of the day he was the one responsible for his actions, regardless of the handicap of his disease.
You can absolutely make mistakes as a parent. They are inevitable. The problem arises when you refuse to admit those mistakes.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentI’m not going to try to invalidate the way you see things. I don’t know this person and there are all kinds of people out in the world. Maybe there are some kids who are just unreasonably...I’m not going to try to invalidate the way you see things. I don’t know this person and there are all kinds of people out in the world. Maybe there are some kids who are just unreasonably difficult to deal with.
But what I will say is that it’s almost impossible to explain emotional abuse to other people. I could tell people about when my father would suffocate me when I was panicking or upset and people will understand, but the stuff that hurt me the most is his inability and unwillingness to understand my feelings and recognize me as an autonomous person. The only people who seem to understand me when I talk about it are people who have also gone through similar experiences. My uncle didn’t really fully understand what I was going through until he read an autobiography from someone who had the time to express their whole life up to that point. That isn’t really something that can be expressed in casual conversation. I couldn’t even begin to guess if that was what was happening with this acquaintance of yours but I think it is worth acknowledging that it is a possibility.
There is a lot I could say about what could have or should have happened but I wouldn’t want to make that be the reason you don’t allow yourself to become a father. I can’t say firsthand, but as a teacher I can see how being a father is an amazingly fulfilling experience. It’s also a massive responsibility and your heart will certainly be broken by your kids. But some things are worth breaking over.
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Comment on Nintendo raises prices for Switch, Switch 2 and NSO in ~games
Akir Link ParentI think the Switch 2 is worth it for some of the games already out. It feels bad to have to pay for it but I have really enjoyed the improved version of the Zelda games and DK Bananza. That being...I think the Switch 2 is worth it for some of the games already out. It feels bad to have to pay for it but I have really enjoyed the improved version of the Zelda games and DK Bananza.
That being said it’s only worth it if you are very much into Nintendo’s output. If you can live without them, the Steam Deck (1) is an immeasurably better choice because of the massive library of games at dramatically lower prices. The Switch 2 will have prettier games, but the value proposition is still very bad in comparison.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentThank you! I appreciate your understanding. The past few years have been about me building self-love and trust me when I say that me being here is an exercise in that.Thank you! I appreciate your understanding. The past few years have been about me building self-love and trust me when I say that me being here is an exercise in that.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentIt is good that you realized the problem with your father when you were young. My parents were divorced when I was younger than that and living with my mentally ill father left me emotionally...It is good that you realized the problem with your father when you were young. My parents were divorced when I was younger than that and living with my mentally ill father left me emotionally underdeveloped, so it took me until I was in my mid teens to figure it out. The reason why I lost faith in God was because of my unanswered prayers to help him.
I wanted to say publicly that I agreed with you but also to explain that empathizing with their pain is a very different thing from sympathizing with their situation and the reason why they are in it. The stories they will tell about it are going to be very different than the stories you will hear about them from their children.
The retrospection I have done from reading this story has been very good for me because it made me realize how great the rest of my family has been. My uncle outright apologized to me for not realizing what I had been going through. While my paternal grandmother had never put it in words, she overwhelmingly showed it with her actions. She welcomed me into her home with open arms and helped me with the growth I couldn’t do in that environment I had been in.
I do still believe that some of these relationships can be mended in a healthy manner. I have to have hope in humanity. But I also have to be realistic. The chances of the relationship being re-established is already slim, and the chances that the relationship they build will be healthy are even less likely.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentYour response honestly terrifies me. Let me ask you a question. If a man beats his wife regularly, but he does it because he is under extreme stress, does that excuse his actions? Is he worthy of...Your response honestly terrifies me.
Let me ask you a question. If a man beats his wife regularly, but he does it because he is under extreme stress, does that excuse his actions? Is he worthy of sympathy or has he done something that he should be forgiven for?
I ask you this because beating an adult, while absolutely terrible, is arguably a less damaging thing than the emotional abuse of a child. Children are fragile and there is a whole swath of research how adverse childhood experiences - or ACEs - affect a person for their entire lifespans.
You can feel bad about people having mental disorders or being in bad and stressful situations. But those are very different things from accepting child abuse. Doing the former might help those people out, but doing the latter helps doom the child to a lifetime of misery. I really cannot do enough to express how evil this is.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentI appreciate that. I really wasn't trying to be inflammatory in my comment and made my best attempt to avoid language that would sound like I was accusing anyone of misdeeds.- Exemplary
I appreciate that. I really wasn't trying to be inflammatory in my comment and made my best attempt to avoid language that would sound like I was accusing anyone of misdeeds.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentI don't think you're being fair to @Gaywallet or to me. Everything you've written has been a non-sequitur. The statement you quoted wasn't an arguement, it was an interpretation. You're shooting...I don't think you're being fair to @Gaywallet or to me. Everything you've written has been a non-sequitur. The statement you quoted wasn't an arguement, it was an interpretation. You're shooting off on them rather than the person you appear to be actually upset at - me.
Beyond that I think that a world in which someone is unable to express when they are being made to feel bad is not a world I would like to live in. The person I was upset at is completely anonymous. They are losing nothing by my statements. If they were hurt by my statement, I'm sorry about that but my statement was very clearly not meant as an attack on them. In the meanwhile here you are saying that my world view is completely invalid - It's just "my own history and baggage" - which is something that I find offensive. You might as well tell me I'm living in a fantasy land.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentIt’s not appropriate to tell them that they are probably good people? They aren’t the ones who put that label there.It’s not appropriate to tell them that they are probably good people? They aren’t the ones who put that label there.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir Link ParentHave you ever been a kid? Do you know what a huge step it is to take your parents out of your life? I abandoned everything when I cut my father out. Every single friend, even a lover. It was a...Have you ever been a kid? Do you know what a huge step it is to take your parents out of your life? I abandoned everything when I cut my father out. Every single friend, even a lover. It was a huge sactifice, and it's not something that one does half-heartedly.
Having a relationship is a two-way street. If a kid has cut out their family, it's only after they have exhausted every option. It's always the parents who are failing to do the work of understanding their children and building the relationship. I have never seen an instance of a person of any age not trying their best to make the relationship work. They have taken the nuclear option because they had no other choice.
I understand the fear you have about your relationship with your child very well. I worry about the same things with the people I love. But you have to understand that by acknowledging these parents' fears, you are enabling them to continue their abusive behavior.
And that's why I feel so betrayed. The author has seen so many people who were obviously hurting and decided "maybe the people who harmed them are not that bad". When you have parents like that, you will never stop hurting. The only closure I have on my relationship with my father is that he was forced to take a psychological evaluation which finally confirmed his mental illness. He died without ever apologizing to me for anything he did to me. I can assure you that my story is not unique.
Frankly I'm extremely upset about that Exemplary tag on your comment. You're probably a good parent, and you deserve to be assuaged of your fears, but that award reads to me like a glowing endorsement on child abuse.
I know I can't talk about this in a calm way, so I would like to say that @Protected's comment is a good reflection of what I would be saying if I didn't have skin in the game.
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Comment on Nobody understands the point of hybrid cars in ~transport
Akir Link ParentI wonder if hybrids are still using NiCd batteries? That was one of the decisions I always thought was kind of silly because they wear down so quickly in comparison to lithium.I wonder if hybrids are still using NiCd batteries? That was one of the decisions I always thought was kind of silly because they wear down so quickly in comparison to lithium.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
Akir LinkThis person should not have written this. It broke my heart when the tone started to change as they started exploring the parent’s side, not because the parents were sympathetic figures to me, but...This person should not have written this. It broke my heart when the tone started to change as they started exploring the parent’s side, not because the parents were sympathetic figures to me, but because I felt betrayed by the author.
There is a concept that the author had danced about and avoided directly addressing through the whole thing, and that is that estranged parents and family members are usually mentally and/or emotionally abusive, and/or they are psychotic or have other mental disorders. The response Amy gave to the writer is 100% correct; parents and family members who want to fix things need to work on themselves in order to reconcile - something long and arduous, and frankly some 90+% of the time simply will not happen. These people are not worthy of being sympathized with; doing so is like saying a man who beats his wife is justified because she makes him so angry. It’s wrong, it’s sick, and society as a whole suffers whenever it happens.
I understand not wanting to believe the youth and why they might want to sympathize with the adults, because accepting the stories of the youth would mean accepting something that we as a global society are desperately trying to pretend doesn’t exist. That is to say: huge amounts of people are mentally ill, that they are so numerous that they support each other and are building their own sick societies, and they are hurting people to achieve their goals. We are living in an age of fascism, and it grows because we don’t want to acknowledge that these people are sick and need intensive intervention to the point that the kinds of interventions that would be effective are simply not possible because “they aren’t psycho, they’re just conservative” and they have vast resources supporting them.
When I was young and was going through this, I thought that my story was unique. I thought there wasn’t anyone who could understand what I was going through. I was so hurt by my father’s abuse that I was hospitalized and put in a mental institution temporarily as a way to protect me from him. But do you know what the sad thing is? I’m actually a lucky one. A few years after I moved away from him permanently my uncle came to me with teary eyes saying how sorry he was that I had to deal with it. I can’t even imagine how difficult it has to be to realize that your brother is mentally ill and has been for years without you realizing it. But even deeper I was living with my paternal grandmother - his own mother! She must have been going through so much to understand what I was going through and help support me. I can’t even imagine.
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Comment on ‘Hocus Pocus 3’ in works with Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy back in ~movies
Akir Link ParentThe pandering was the point. That and the extremely kitschy humor. I, for one, am looking forward to this movie. Not because it's good, but because it's going to be exactly the hokey junk I would...The pandering was the point. That and the extremely kitschy humor. I, for one, am looking forward to this movie. Not because it's good, but because it's going to be exactly the hokey junk I would expect it to be.
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Comment on Space Hauler | Announcement trailer in ~games
Akir LinkI am very disappointed this wasn’t Space Harrier as I misread the title.I am very disappointed this wasn’t Space Harrier as I misread the title.
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Comment on 'Blue dot fever' claims Post Malone, Pussycat Dolls concerts. What's really behind it? in ~music
Akir LinkI legitimately forgot for a moment that I’m living in a major metropolitan area and that it’s not normal to be able to wait for artists to eventually tour something nearby. I feel like a lot of...I legitimately forgot for a moment that I’m living in a major metropolitan area and that it’s not normal to be able to wait for artists to eventually tour something nearby.
I feel like a lot of major artist tours are dramatically overproduced. I recently went with my husband to see a concert from a European group and they had this massive screen behind them with a CG robot, and he later complained to me that apparently in the European tour they featured a real robot. Why? It’s a music act! On the other hand, the best show I’ve seen remains seeing King Gizard and the Lizard Wizard at the Hollywood Bowl, whixh was basically just them playing for hours while a VJ did an impromptu show with the screens built into the venue.
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Comment on Do you prefer chunky or smooth peanut butter? in ~food
Akir Link ParentCrunchy is actually the technology here. Smooth peanut butter is just blending peanuts into a paste. With crunchy you take the extra step of chopping peanuts and mixing them back into the smooth...Crunchy is actually the technology here. Smooth peanut butter is just blending peanuts into a paste. With crunchy you take the extra step of chopping peanuts and mixing them back into the smooth peanut butter.
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Comment on Do you prefer chunky or smooth peanut butter? in ~food
Akir Link ParentI also pour a little bit of the oil out. It’s not about the flavor insomuch that I just want it to be a bit thicker.I also pour a little bit of the oil out. It’s not about the flavor insomuch that I just want it to be a bit thicker.
Being light on story might actually make me more interested in playing for once. Atlas's stories always find one reason or another to bother me. The teenagers in the Persona games are very realistic, and while I see why that makes people really love them it's a turn-off for me when I'm supposed to be living the story. Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE felt so vapid and annoying to me. A game with a strong visual appeal that gives you that "pachinko feeling" might actually be a nice change of pace.