Gaywallet's recent activity
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Comment on Some people can't see mental images. The consequences are profound. in ~health.mental
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Comment on US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to end all monkey research in ~science
Gaywallet Link ParentA lot of what we need to know about potential human consequences we can learn from other animal models which are cheaper and easier to run. With advancements in AI (not LLMs) we've seen some...A lot of what we need to know about potential human consequences we can learn from other animal models which are cheaper and easier to run. With advancements in AI (not LLMs) we've seen some pretty amazing advances in genomics and understanding the human biome. Ideally at some point we can stop doing most animal modeling because computer modeling will be close enough for the statistical noise and variation it generates to be within the parameters of how well animal models reflect human biology. There are of course considerations to be made when we are talking about really powerful drugs, but generally we don't use drugs which can have serious side effects unless the condition we're dealing with is already extremely damaging to the body. We probably need stronger regulation or ethical standards around when to consider something for human trials - recruiting people for which other medications have failed to treat would be ethical for other drugs which have a similar observed efficiency (where a lot of research often is), for example. Frankly speaking we probably need to do a better job explaining available alternatives during recruitment as well. Either way, I think retiring NHP research isn't a bad idea, whether it's premature or not is really hard to know for certain but I'm all for sparing as much animal life as we reasonably can.
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Comment on Pennies are being canceled and the US Mint won't make any more. What does that mean? in ~finance
Gaywallet Link ParentStay away from art stores though, they might help you draw but I'd rather not also be quartered.As an added bonus, it would prevent companies from nickel and diming us consumers ;)
Stay away from art stores though, they might help you draw but I'd rather not also be quartered.
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Comment on Pluribus S01E01 - “We is Us” in ~tv
Gaywallet Link ParentI'm not sure it's just about being trustworthy, but also about values and what one is looking for out of life as well as how one might react to a situation in which they have close to no control over.I'm not sure it's just about being trustworthy, but also about values and what one is looking for out of life as well as how one might react to a situation in which they have close to no control over.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Gaywallet Link ParentIt's easy to fall into this trap of thinking, but you have to realize it's a fantasy. That's not how things were, or you wouldn't have broken up. This is limerance - you're projecting an idea onto...Like I want to live the rest of my life with her because I feel that the combination of what I need, what she is, and what we've been through together is just not something I can find easily, or ever again.
... I was really happy envisioning us here, and now there is nothing there.
It's easy to fall into this trap of thinking, but you have to realize it's a fantasy. That's not how things were, or you wouldn't have broken up. This is limerance - you're projecting an idea onto what your relationship was. What you can do, however, is to view this as a learning opportunity. You now know what you want and need out of a relationship better than you ever have, because you experienced something new, comfortable, and desirable.
But what you also need to realize is that there's so much more out there you haven't experienced and won't experience until you try out other relationships. There's probably even better ways for things to play out that you can't even imagine, because you've never met someone else who is compatible in different ways. I know this likely feels impossible to accept in your current condition, but as someone who's been in a lot of relationships and through endless therapy, I can assure you that I'm still finding new and exciting ways to connect with folks and experience relationships that differ in fundamental ways I've never experienced before to this day.
I don't feel like I am bringing my best self to the table
You're not and you're right to recognize that, but also you just got dumped?! Of course you're going to need time to gather yourself, time to mourn what you lost, time to reflect and learn, and ultimately time to work on yourself. Life always continues to go on and you will get over this with enough time, so don't think too hard about optimizing that time or meeting someone right away. Live in the moment. Cry when you need to. Talk with your ex and your friends and your family. Hell, eat a pint of ice cream if the desire sparks. Focus on yourself and your recovery and don't worry too much about planning the future. When you're ready to make that step again you will, there's no need to rush it.
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Comment on Post breakup ramblings in ~life
Gaywallet LinkFirst off, like others, I want to say that I'm sorry you're going through this. Breakups are never easy. It's good you shot this off at the void, but you should share this with people you love and...First off, like others, I want to say that I'm sorry you're going through this. Breakups are never easy. It's good you shot this off at the void, but you should share this with people you love and care about (your online friends, your family, or anyone you have a strong bond with). You deserve the kind of support that someone who truly knows you can offer.
There's two things you shared that I want to touch on, however, as they're two narratives I've dealt with and struggled with.
that I don’t need all these things people expect in most relationships
I have more than a dozen people break up with me over this sentiment. These breakups usually fall into two buckets: the first bucket is folks who say this who have an idea of what a relationship is or should be. Often times its a reflection of being busy or otherwise occupied in their life and a recognition that they can't meet their own expectations of time, energy, effort, etc. that they feel constitutes a relationship. The second bucket is folks who say this who I believe are struggling to understand what my needs and desires are - this one is a bit more expansive and fuzzy in definition. For one girl who was mostly monogamous oriented, it was a recognition of the fact that I am poly and an assumption that being monogamish with her would be limiting or restricting to me. There was also a guy who made some assumptions about my desires around romance based on my aromantic identity, projecting his own values onto an identity he didn't understand. For another, they struggled too much with an inability to read my emotions and instead of asking questions they simply made assumptions about my mood and how I felt about them.
Ultimately nearly all of these examples and people involve some level of projection. None of these folks did enough of the hard work to de-internalize values they had around relationships and expectations. They all projected their own values, thoughts, or emotions onto me. The thing is, neither of us has control over that. They are experiencing the relationship in a different way than is objectively true, or that I experience it, but none of that invalidates their experience... and as hard as it is, the only path forward is to accept it's a fundamental incompatibility. It's particularly frustrating because I can see how the person can improve themselves, the traps they are falling into and the things they are overlooking, but to insist we should have a relationship while they work on those things would be controlling and it's not up to me whether they even want to change how they view these issues.
The only path that helped me move forward was to accept that they experienced the relationship in a fundamentally different way than I did, and that's fine. In fact, that's completely normal! We are two different human beings with different brains and upbringings and perspectives. Just because I can see something they cannot, does not mean their experience is invalid, and I need to be willing to let it go in order to move on and to allow them to pursue their own happiness. It's bittersweet, at best, but ultimately heartbreaking.
I also resent this claim that someone else can make me happier.
I have had countless relationships throughout my life where someone has told me how I feel, or how I will feel. I really, really, really, hate this cop-out, because it rests on two flawed assumptions: first and foremost the assumption that anyone else can know your emotions better than you do. That's utterly divorced from reality as they are not experiencing what happens in your brain and that's the only source of truth on an emotion. Or worse yet, it's assuming you can't identify your own emotions, like a child who insists they are angry but are actually hungry - it's infantilizing. Secondly, it rests on the assumption that they know the future. How do you know that I will? Are you omniscient?
I know that the people saying this are trying to let someone down easily. What they really mean to say is either that they can't meet your needs (either projection as mentioned earlier or by historical reflection) or that you can't meet theirs and they believe that you will fight them on that note. I have a bit of sympathy for the latter, I know a lot of folks who will practically plead and swear they will change themselves despite evidence to the contrary (having not changed yet) and it's a whole ordeal to deal with that.
Regardless, I just wanted to say I have a lot of sympathy for being upset about someone making a claim about your emotional state. Nobody knows your emotions but you and it's deeply invalidating for others to make any statements about how you feel. It's incredibly inconsiderate of someone else to project their emotional state or perceived emotions onto you and I'm sorry that happened to you.
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Comment on Tilderinos in ~talk
Gaywallet Link ParentIt breaks my heart to think about all the folks we've lost and how many of them left because no one was willing to have the hard conversations we needed to have around here about the problems this...wonder about some familiar names I don't see any more
It breaks my heart to think about all the folks we've lost and how many of them left because no one was willing to have the hard conversations we needed to have around here about the problems this place has with inclusivity. Unfortunately it's a battle that has no knights anymore, and while some of us still stick around it does, at times, feel like a ghost ship of the voices we once heard.
For what it's worth, I'm glad you're still around, along with about a dozen other folks who I feel carry the banner in spirit - willing to fight the normative answers, the slow creep of centrist and privileged voices and thoughts; one to speak up for those who aren't here or are deprived of their voices.
I suppose I'm not around on this website enough to really know what the vibe is like around here anymore, but I do find myself pushing back on harmful rhetoric (usually unintentionally malicious, but problematic nonetheless) in most threads that I do bother to open up. I wish there were another place like this, that truly centered the individual and encouraged deeper thought and reflection. I find myself unable to move on from this website completely because the depth of discussion here isn't as proliferated with bad takes as other long-form discussion sites, but I also find myself longing for space that actually centers the human. I'm glad that I can reliably find you and specific others with compassionate and thoughtful takes - if folks like you weren't around I probably would leave this place forever.
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Comment on Is vaping less harmful than smoking, and does it help people quit? in ~health
Gaywallet Link ParentAs someone who lives in CA who uses vapes to reduce the amount of opioids I use for my chronic pain (nicotine potentiates the effects of opioids) I can tell you that it's getting harder and harder...As someone who lives in CA who uses vapes to reduce the amount of opioids I use for my chronic pain (nicotine potentiates the effects of opioids) I can tell you that it's getting harder and harder to acquire. The website I used to use no longer ships to CA at all.
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Comment on California voters pass Prop 50 to redraw the state's congressional maps in ~society
Gaywallet Link ParentYou're absolutely right, gerrymandering is not a healthy trend for the country in the long term. This particular proposition, on the other hand, is literally the only piece of legislation that...You're absolutely right, gerrymandering is not a healthy trend for the country in the long term.
This particular proposition, on the other hand, is literally the only piece of legislation that I've seen that's trying to fight it on the national level that has passed.
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Comment on Is vaping less harmful than smoking, and does it help people quit? in ~health
Gaywallet Link ParentBoth have been legislated - all flavored vapes currently cannot be sold legally in CA (this is a very recent development) and liquid was banned years ago. A lot of corner bodegas will still have...For vaping I seem to recall at one point a push against selling flavorings and possibly nicotine liquid, though that must have not gotten anywhere since I see these things are presently available.
Both have been legislated - all flavored vapes currently cannot be sold legally in CA (this is a very recent development) and liquid was banned years ago. A lot of corner bodegas will still have them, but it's getting harder and harder to find suppliers who will ship to CA so this will likely start to dry up.
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Comment on Is vaping less harmful than smoking, and does it help people quit? in ~health
Gaywallet Link Parentokay yea fair enough, capitalism is the enemyokay yea fair enough, capitalism is the enemy
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Comment on Dick Cheney dies at 84 in ~society
Gaywallet Link ParentI mean, to be fair, he also wasn't murdered. It's a lot easier to martyr someone who was killed than it is to martyr someone who died of old age.It's interesting that there really doesn't seem to be much effort to play him up as a good person the way they did with Charlie Kirk
I mean, to be fair, he also wasn't murdered. It's a lot easier to martyr someone who was killed than it is to martyr someone who died of old age.
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Comment on Is vaping less harmful than smoking, and does it help people quit? in ~health
Gaywallet Link ParentNicotine, while addictive, has an extremely misleading scientific history. Contrary to popular belief, it is not actually not an extremely addictive substance. For a summary on some of the...I'd like to see more studies on the effects of nicotine addiction on mental health. It seems pretty well established that vaping is far less physically harmful than smoking, but I still find it concerning how willingly kids are giving themselves a lifelong chemical dependency.
Nicotine, while addictive, has an extremely misleading scientific history. Contrary to popular belief, it is not actually not an extremely addictive substance. For a summary on some of the physical and mental effects of nicotine, I'd recommend at least glancing through the high level bullet points in this review.
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Comment on Is vaping less harmful than smoking, and does it help people quit? in ~health
Gaywallet Link ParentThere absolutely has been an ongoing coordinated campaign against vaping. Most of it is funded by big tobacco, namely the companies which have been resistant to sell vaping products. Those which...made it feel like there is some sort of ongoing coordinated campaign against vaping
There absolutely has been an ongoing coordinated campaign against vaping. Most of it is funded by big tobacco, namely the companies which have been resistant to sell vaping products. Those which are selling vaping products are typically targeting a negative ad campaign against those which are not marketed as e-cigarettes (anti e-liquid and anti other kinds of vapes) or otherwise attempt to limit possible competitors via expensive means such as FDA approval.
It's a complicated story, frankly, as it's evolved over the years, but it's also important to note that there was a concentrated and coordinated push against vaping that also came from certain researchers who had a political narrative or moral reasoning behind flawed science. The WHO's stance on vaping, for example, used to be strongly negative in the early 2010s but public health experts and those in addiction medicine have helped to change that stance because the literature has consistently proved much of what the article linked states.
Lastly I think it's important to note the classic "it's harming the kids" argument which is easy to make since they sell vapes in non-offensive odors. There's a lot of folks who have a strong moral stance against drugs of any sort (notably alcohol often being excluded) who look to push this narrative whenever it is convenient (they're putting drugs in the Halloween candy!!!1). While it shouldn't be completely discounted (capitalism is going to always look for more customers), I don't think there's people in a boardroom twirling their mustaches asking how they can get more kids addicted to drugs.
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Comment on Is vaping less harmful than smoking, and does it help people quit? in ~health
Gaywallet Link ParentFor handy referenceTime will tell, but I also wish I had a near term indicator to help gauge what’s truly dangerous and what’s effectively as dangerous as alcohol
For handy reference
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Comment on Is 67 just brain rot? in ~humanities.languages
Gaywallet Link ParentWell I mean we are arguably in the beginning stages of fascism here (and arguably coming from an oligopoly) and there's a lot of economic favoritism happening to Trump's business partners and...Well I mean we are arguably in the beginning stages of fascism here (and arguably coming from an oligopoly) and there's a lot of economic favoritism happening to Trump's business partners and buddies. At what point does it lose the label of capitalism? In this country in particular I think it's useful to label it something besides capitalism because we have this unhealthy fascination with the idea of capitalism (free market, invisible hand) that either never reflected the realities of capitalism or cause people to view things with rose-tinted glasses. It might do many people good to reject the label of capitalism and to use terms like oligopoly and fascism to paint to the current landscape anyhow.
As an aside please mark this as noise since we're a bit off-topic now. And thank you for the trust! It's nice to hear my thoughts and opinions are found valuable by members of this community 💜
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Comment on Is 67 just brain rot? in ~humanities.languages
Gaywallet Link ParentA better set of words to use there might have been "late-stage capitalistic propaganda." The general statement there was that something like an oligopoly is not capitalism because capitalism is...A better set of words to use there might have been "late-stage capitalistic propaganda." The general statement there was that something like an oligopoly is not capitalism because capitalism is supposed to be an economic system (and the concepts of capitalism such as competition cannot happen when power is consolidated in this fashion), not a governmental system, but I'm not particularly interested in going down the rabbit hole of discussing things like laissez-faire vs. welfare capitalism and more modern attempts to classify capitalism outside of just the economy.
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Comment on Is 67 just brain rot? in ~humanities.languages
Gaywallet Link ParentI think it's important to note that 67 came up from a group of individuals who were hyperobserved. Many of these individuals became viral in their childhoods (even if it was just local virality)...I think it's important to note that 67 came up from a group of individuals who were hyperobserved. Many of these individuals became viral in their childhoods (even if it was just local virality) and were exposed to what it's like to be in the public eye - often extremely cruel and unforgiving. A lot of their speech, not just 67, is about obscuring meaning and avoiding surveillance - skibidi is another example of a word to signal an ingroup and meant to purposefully confuse those who are not in the group. If we think about ingroup slang as a way to connect and convey meaning amongst a minority group who is persecuted (many such examples of this such as the various gay slangs - think of words like camp, slay, dolls, diva, and so on) and that it allows folks to communicate subversively, a second order of this would be words which are explicitly meant to throw off people who are trying to "break the code" so to speak. Words which are purposefully meaningless as a means to subvert surveillance.
Of course, all of this gets amplified and modified by the existing environment which is not just surveillance heavy but dripping in misinformation and post-capitalistic propaganda and brainrot. As you've mentioned this has given rise to irony (post^n-irony as well of course) and notably also absurdism as a whole amongst that generation. Given the relatively bleak outlook of someone entering their adulthood around now with society as fucked up as it currently is, it makes a lot of sense that their speech would be means to both subvert and point out all the issues we see in a hyper-capitalistic ad and algorithm driven world.
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Comment on I powered my house using 500 disposable vapes in ~engineering
Gaywallet Link Parentvape companies wage war on e-liquid/rechargeable vapes, and push for local laws to ban them cigarette companies wage war on disposable vapes, and push for local laws to ban them soon we'll all be...vape companies wage war on e-liquid/rechargeable vapes, and push for local laws to ban them
cigarette companies wage war on disposable vapes, and push for local laws to ban themsoon we'll all be back to cigarettes like phillip morris intended
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Comment on People with a very good memory: does that make it harder to forgive? in ~talk
Gaywallet LinkI forgive quite easily, actually. I think, perhaps paradoxically, it makes it easier to forgive because I can remember both the sum of things (plenty of good they've also done) or I can place it...I forgive quite easily, actually. I think, perhaps paradoxically, it makes it easier to forgive because I can remember both the sum of things (plenty of good they've also done) or I can place it in context better (the sum of negative things others have done). Ultimately, however, forgiveness is a personal thing - it's not about what someone has done but your ability to move on from it.
So there's models now to place people on a spectrum. Very few people have full aphantasia, most have some "level" of it. For the classic "apple" example, a 0 would be no visualization at all. As we work our way from 0 towards 5 we gain clarity - a fuzzy round nondistinct shape might be a 1, a 2 increasing the dynamics of shape, by 3 we might add color, 4 would be almost perfect and a 5 hyper-realistic adding details like bruises, dirt, the stem, becoming a near perfect representation of an apple in space (as the article stated perhaps even entering the person's reality in some fashion).
We don't have good numbers on how the normal curve is divided and I believe the 2-3% estimations came before there was a good quantization of this (or a truly well-designed questionnaire to determine or grade aphantasia) so take it with a grain of salt.