RoyalHenOil's recent activity
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Comment on Pete Hegseth barred trans troops. US military boards are rejecting those orders. in ~society
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Comment on #YesAllMen #NotAllMen #MaybeSomeMen How to be better? in ~life.men
RoyalHenOil Link ParentThis thread is about men, so it makes sense for the comments to be about men as well. I think it's entirely fair for the men participating to talk about their experiences as men and not opine so...This thread is about men, so it makes sense for the comments to be about men as well. I think it's entirely fair for the men participating to talk about their experiences as men and not opine so much on the experiences that women have. I would much rather speak about my own experience as a woman (when relevant to the conversation) than read a dialogue between a group of men conjecturing about experiences none of them have had.
Personally, I think @crypticcuriosity629 has navigated this supremely prickly subject exceptionally well. (If anything, I think they're too cautious and hedging, but it's completely understandable given their previous experiences in online spaces. It honestly sounds pretty traumatizing.)
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Comment on #YesAllMen #NotAllMen #MaybeSomeMen How to be better? in ~life.men
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI just want to say that I agree with everything you're saying here, and I completely understand your anxiety bringing it up. A lot of men I know have admitted similar anxiety to me. I think...I just want to say that I agree with everything you're saying here, and I completely understand your anxiety bringing it up. A lot of men I know have admitted similar anxiety to me.
I think something people forget is that it's not just men who encounter these communities. It's also boys — potentially very young boys. And this content can also be very damaging to girls (I know it would have been extremely harmful to me to encounter it when I was middle school age, and that's also the age I was most active in online communities and would have been most likely to encounter it if I'd been born just 5-10 years later).
It's not limited to gender discourse, either. Some of the most seemingly random, innocuous subjects can spawn incredibly toxic communities. I don't think the subject matter itself is what causes this. It just seems to be human nature for a subset of the population to snowball into the most vile bullies (and far worse, looking at the historical record) when they aren't kept in check by moderating forces.
I don't know what the solution is. Asking people to change or bullying them back doesn't work, and many of the legislative ideas I've seen are pretty frightening from a privacy standpoint. Directly targeting social media algorithms that push controversy into everyone's feeds would likely help, but it can't eliminate self-organizing communities where many of the worst abuses occur, like private Discord groups that people create and join voluntarily.
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Comment on #YesAllMen #NotAllMen #MaybeSomeMen How to be better? in ~life.men
RoyalHenOil Link ParentIt's very common for cliques to form on the internet because it's easy for people to leave or stop interacting with a community whenever they see some bullying crop up — which, in practice, means...It's very common for cliques to form on the internet because it's easy for people to leave or stop interacting with a community whenever they see some bullying crop up — which, in practice, means hostile corners of the internet gradually drive everyone else away and reinforce their own hostility to ridiculous levels.
It sounds to me like you stumbled across just such a community, and a particularly bad one. They'll try to tell you they're representative of women at large (stock standard abuse technique: convincing the victim that the bully is always right and the victim always wrong, and no sane third party would ever sympathize with the victim) — but, fortunately, you're in a good position to judge because you can simply ask women you know.
To the best of your ability, I would disregard hostile communities and try not to let them color your perception of yourself or other people. The group you stumbled into are not activists, they're not trying to help women (believe me, in communities like that, women who in any way question the bullying they witness get an over-the-top hostile reception as well), and they don't offer any practical strategies for tackling the problems they keep beating everyone over the head with — and will actively tear down any solution somebody might come up with (as you yourself observed) because it undermines the abusive stranglehold they have on that corner of the internet (similar to how an abusive spouse or parent constantly undercuts the victim's attempts to make peace and somehow always manages to turn it around on the victim).
People who are actually fighting to make a change in the world encourage curious onlookers and welcome people who are potentially receptive to their message. They might still disagree with many of the opinions you offer, but they'll make an effort to explain their arguments without being alienating (which they might not necessarily succeed at, but at least they're trying), and part of their argument will include volunteering alternative solutions to the ones you have proposed. They may use logic or they may use emotional appeal but, either way, their goal is to get you on board, not beat you up.
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Comment on Looking for advice: How do I find out what stocks to invest into? in ~finance
RoyalHenOil Link ParentYeah, that's why I opted for GLDM over the other gold funds.Yeah, that's why I opted for GLDM over the other gold funds.
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Comment on Alberta voters reject plan for referendum to leave Canada in ~society
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI'm not too familiar with Canadian law, but in many (most?) places around the world, citizens cannot be legally compelled to vote, so voluntary referenda are the best they can do, imperfect as...I'm not too familiar with Canadian law, but in many (most?) places around the world, citizens cannot be legally compelled to vote, so voluntary referenda are the best they can do, imperfect as they are.
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Comment on Exposing AdFection - how Discover-Tech turned targeted ads into a pipeline for zero-click mercenary spyware in ~tech
RoyalHenOil Link Parent"Candiru" is the first thing that jumped out at me! A semi-parasitic fish that burrows into the gills of other fish to siphon the blood directly from their arteries (and, according to urban..."Candiru" is the first thing that jumped out at me! A semi-parasitic fish that burrows into the gills of other fish to siphon the blood directly from their arteries (and, according to urban legend, might mistake your urethra for gills if you pee in the water, since fish release urea through their gills).
So they're not even trying to pretend they aren't evil.
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Comment on Looking for advice: How do I find out what stocks to invest into? in ~finance
RoyalHenOil (edited )Link ParentThe safest ETFs, where you should invest the bulk of your savings, are the ones that are not industry-specific and instead follow very broad markets, such as the world market (like VT). Depending...The safest ETFs, where you should invest the bulk of your savings, are the ones that are not industry-specific and instead follow very broad markets, such as the world market (like VT).
Depending on your preferences, you might decide to invest in two or three broad-market ETFs so that you can weight your investments the way you want them. For example, if you want to weight the USA more heavily or less heavily than VT weights it, you might decide to skip VT altogether and instead invest in VTI (the US market) and VEU (the world market excluding the US) at the ratio you desire.
Most people weight their investments fairly heavily toward the country or the region where they live, but it depends. For example, I live in Australia, but I have weighted my investments heavily toward Europe because I hope/expect Australia to become more deeply enmeshed with the EU over the next couple of decades. I also wanted to reduce my exposure to the US market because it's too risky for my tastes right now (too much Nvidia). In practice, this means I've invested some in VT (the general world market), some in VEU (the world market excluding the US), and some in VGK (the European market). These three are the great bulk of my investments, about 75% taken together.
It's also not a bad idea to invest some (maybe 10%?) of your portfolio in ETFs for something that isn't the stock market, as a hedge against certain kinds of economic upheaval. Bonds and gold are very popular options. For example, when Trump took office, I invested in a gold ETF (GLDM) as a hedge against inflation.
If you feel like playing the stock market a little, you can invest in more specialized ETFs that are focused on specific markets or that track a smaller number of companies (such as the S&P 500). But this is completely optional, and I suggest making it only a portion of your total investments, since it can be more risky.
How large or small that portion should be depends on your age. As a general rule, if you're a long way off from retirement, you can make more high-risk-high-reward investments. As you get closer to retirement, you want to move toward steadier investments. Personally, I decided not to invest more than 10-15% this way, and I'll wind that down to 0% as I near retirement. I'll also increase the percentage of funds I put into gold and bonds, since they don't really make much money, but they usually do a very good job of protecting the money you do invest.
However, plenty of people happily invest everything in just a single broad-market ETF like VT for their entire lives, and they do very well for themselves.
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Comment on Why is there no word for please in the Nordic languages – are their speakers simply more direct, or is politeness expressed in ways outsiders may not immediately recognise in ~humanities.languages
RoyalHenOil (edited )Link ParentIn my experience, Australians don't care too much for the standard American accent, but they go nuts for more obscure accents — especially Southern accents. To Americans, even the general...In my experience, Australians don't care too much for the standard American accent, but they go nuts for more obscure accents — especially Southern accents.
To Americans, even the general Australian accent is pretty obscure. But Americans do seem to go nuts for the more rare broad (rural) accents in particular. Every American who's visited me here loves the accents they hear in the city, but they really grin ear to ear when they visit the tiny farming hamlet where I live (and the feeling is mutual when my visitors have Southern accents).
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Comment on Why is there no word for please in the Nordic languages – are their speakers simply more direct, or is politeness expressed in ways outsiders may not immediately recognise in ~humanities.languages
RoyalHenOil Link ParentIn my experience, Australians are quite a bit more outgoing with strangers than, say, people from London or people from New York. But people from the southern US (and especially people from the...In my experience, Australians are quite a bit more outgoing with strangers than, say, people from London or people from New York. But people from the southern US (and especially people from the majority Black and Hispanic neighborhoods where I grew up) are much more chatty with strangers still.
Where I grew up, I'm considered abnormally reserved and untalkative around strangers. But at least around Melbourne, and even in the tiny Victorian town where I live now, people have noted that I interact with strangers way more than they're used to (and that's with me actively suppressing that cultural instinct).
All that being said, I've found Australians universally receptive to being chatted with this way. They just won't be the one to make the first move in most cases.
I wouldn't describe Australians as "unpolished" so much as "refreshingly casual" — which I suspect is a facet being highly egalitarian and anti-hierarchical. Where I grew up, there's a lot more social ranking and bigotry, more standardized etiquette, and more code switching (where the etiquette you follow depends heavily on context), which is difficult to navigate and pretty oppressive feeling.
Here, it feels a lot closer to just having one mode you talk to everybody in, and that mode is very close and familiar — lots of banter, casual swearing, and so on thrown around, even if you're talking to your grandma or to your coworkers. There are some downsides to it (like being unpracticed reining that in and adapting to local standards of etiquette while traveling), but for the most part, I love it. It's what we call "folksy" back home.
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Comment on Why is there no word for please in the Nordic languages – are their speakers simply more direct, or is politeness expressed in ways outsiders may not immediately recognise in ~humanities.languages
RoyalHenOil Link ParentThank you, that was very interesting! I've lived in Australia for over a decade now, and I somehow haven't noticed what the norm is here, which makes me think it must be similar to US norms. I...Thank you, that was very interesting!
I've lived in Australia for over a decade now, and I somehow haven't noticed what the norm is here, which makes me think it must be similar to US norms. I don't think people read me as rude here. Instead, they tend to read me as friendly/outgoing (I'm actually supremely introverted, but I grew up in the South), and I read them as shy/reserved.
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Comment on 1 in 8 Billion - Browser game, free, life sim with real statistics from 172 countries in ~games
RoyalHenOil LinkI was a man born on a farm in rural northern Côte d'Ivoire. I never knew my father, and my mother and teachers beat me for being forgetful (undiagnosed ADHD). I was forced to drop out of school at...I was a man born on a farm in rural northern Côte d'Ivoire. I never knew my father, and my mother and teachers beat me for being forgetful (undiagnosed ADHD). I was forced to drop out of school at age 12 due to mediocre grades (even though I prioritized knowledge) and my mother's death.
I had a great love of football/soccer, and I worked as a driver for a few years. I tried to get a better job, but ultimately ended up as a farmer because I couldn't find anything better (despite trying very, very hard to).
My first girlfriend dumped me. I dumped my second girlfriend (due to her student debt). I ended up in an arranged marriage with a street vendor with no debt and a modest income, and we were extremely close/in love my whole life. I turned down the option to marry a second wife because she didn't want me to.
We bought a house and had five children (most of them were even planned!), and I made a decision to never hit them like I'd been hit. I went into debt to pay for their education, and they all five completed high school and went on to get good, stable jobs (e.g., factory work). I was extremely close to all of them, especially my third daughter.
I never owned a vehicle of any type, but when my children were old enough to send me money, I acquired a refrigerator in my home for the first time. Two of my daughters started families before I died, and I had four grandchildren.
I died at 69 of typhoid fever at maximum happiness and relationships, very high health (other than the fever), and reasonable knowledge (around 55) given I never made it past primary school.
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Comment on Why is there no word for please in the Nordic languages – are their speakers simply more direct, or is politeness expressed in ways outsiders may not immediately recognise in ~humanities.languages
RoyalHenOil (edited )Link ParentI feel similar about politeness in English. If I went to a restaurant and said to the waiter, "Can I have the toast?" I would feel suitably polite. But if I said, "Can I please have the toast?" I...I feel similar about politeness in English. If I went to a restaurant and said to the waiter, "Can I have the toast?" I would feel suitably polite.
But if I said, "Can I please have the toast?" I would feel overly insistent, and maybe even outright rude depending on how much emphasis I put into the word 'please' (more emphasis = more rude).
But it depends on context. In a scenario where I'm asking for something that isn't expected (like if I'm visiting my parents and get a sudden hankering for some toast), I'd feel fine saying, "Could you make me some toast please?" so long as I'm not emphasizing 'please' too hard (unless I do it in a jokey way, like, "Please oh please, could you make me some toast? I'm dying.").
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Comment on Someone ‘torturing’ LLMs in a robot prison has triggered the dumbest debate in AI yet in ~tech
RoyalHenOil Link ParentAgreed. We don't know how to identify consciousness effectively (e.g., see debates on which animals are conscious, and even which of our own brain processes are conscious), or even exactly what...Agreed. We don't know how to identify consciousness effectively (e.g., see debates on which animals are conscious, and even which of our own brain processes are conscious), or even exactly what consciousness is. I don't think we can make any definitive claims at this point, and I'd prefer to err on the side of caution.
That being said, if LLMs do experience anything that could potentially be classified as consciousness, I think it's highly likely that it's very unlike our own consciousness, and I'd be deeply surprised if things that make us feel good or hurt our feelings would have the same effect on an LLM, since they don't share our brain chemistry in any way, shape, or form. They are truly alien.
Even if someone could definitely prove that LLMs aren't conscious, I do think it's still good policy to require people to interact with LLMs politely, just to discourage harmful communication habits. These things have a way of bleeding out into real life.
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Comment on Given everything we know about AI so far, what do you think it can or cannot be good for? in ~tech
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI wouldn't even necessarily be opposed to seeing a movie, listening to a song, or reading a book that was AI-generated — if any of them were actually interesting. I'm not even asking for them to...I wouldn't even necessarily be opposed to seeing a movie, listening to a song, or reading a book that was AI-generated — if any of them were actually interesting. I'm not even asking for them to be good.
In the past, I have enjoyed some AI-generated things that were unintentionally funny, like Will Smith eating spaghetti, but those were the early days of gen AI when it wasn't so great at replicating its training data. That poor replication gave it some semblance of creativity. Now it's gotten so "good" that everything it makes is dull.
I guess its creations could be interesting from an anthropological or historical standpoint — like, here is the most generic example of this genre at this exact point in time, which might be a useful way to compare different genres or to study AI technology itself — but nothing I've seen gen AI create in the last couple of years has been very interesting for its own sake.
I think if gen AI were developed to be truly inventive, and not simply an attempted simulation of human creativity (which it will never be able to do as well as humans because it doesn't have human experiences to inform these choices), there might actually be some cool stuff it could do. Other kinds of AI, such as genetic algorithms, come up with some incredibly unique solutions to problems because they're not boxed in by trying to design the way a human designs — and so I find myself much more intrigued by what they create, despite being far older and far simpler than modern gen AI.
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Comment on The return of phones with physical keyboards? in ~tech
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI find phone swiping to make a lot of mistakes. For example, it almost never wants to write "staring" (it thinks I want "starting", or occasionally "staying") even if I swipe very slowly and...I find phone swiping to make a lot of mistakes. For example, it almost never wants to write "staring" (it thinks I want "starting", or occasionally "staying") even if I swipe very slowly and carefully. I have to select the right word out of a list, which slows me down, or go back later and correct words like this, which is even slower.
Swiping with my phone also irritates my hand and wrist if I do it for too long. I have some kind of tendinitis that seems to be triggered specifically by typing with a phone or using a trackpad.
I'm not sure how I'd do with a physical phone keyboard. I've never used one. But if it fixed the tendinitis issue, it would be worth it for me.
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Comment on Amazon uses its tracking data to guess whether shoppers have a flat butt and no friends in ~tech
RoyalHenOil (edited )Link ParentIt's not a feature in Australia, either, and we don't have an equivalent to GDPR. I do have an American Amazon account that I use for eBook purchases, but that account doesn't list any information...It's not a feature in Australia, either, and we don't have an equivalent to GDPR.
I do have an American Amazon account that I use for eBook purchases, but that account doesn't list any information about me whatsoever, so I guess they're ignoring Kindle data:
We haven't saved anything yet. As you shop on Amazon or chat with Alexa, we'll save helpful information to personalize your experience.
A bit of a shame because I'd actually like book recommendations based on what I like to read.
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Comment on Anyone else have Inattentive ADHD? in ~health.mental
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI have made repeated attempts to get diagnosed since ~2017, though I admittedly gave up over a year ago. I live in Australia, which for the most part has a pretty smooth healthcare system, but...I have made repeated attempts to get diagnosed since ~2017, though I admittedly gave up over a year ago.
I live in Australia, which for the most part has a pretty smooth healthcare system, but ADHD is a weirdly stark exception.
Here, you have to get a referral from a GP before you can see a psychologist. My experiences pre-COVID were that GPs were extremely reluctant to give out these referrals and insisted that I couldn't have ADHD because I was able to focus on the conversation with them. I did finally manage to get one referral after trying several times with different GPs, but the psychologist he sent me to refused to do an assessment because, in her words, "I don't believe in labeling people". She just wanted to do talk therapy.
Then COVID happened, we went into lockdown, and I stopped making unnecessary trips to medical facilities.
After the lockdowns, I started trying again, and I suddenly (for reasons I still don't entirely understand) had much more success finding GPs willing to give me a referral. In fact, every single GP I went to basically said, "Yep, you obviously have ADHD." The problem was that none of them knew who to refer me to. Every referral I got ended up being to a psychologist who was not accepting any new patients, even just for a one-time assessment, so I kept having to go back to the GP to try a new referral.
Finally, I got a GP who said to call around and find a psychologist with an opening, and then call her immediately on her personal mobile after so she could get me a referral ASAP before the opening closed. But I called and I called every psychologist I could find listed (I live rural, so not a lot of options unfortunately, but I was willing to drive 3+ hours to see one), but none had any openings and weren't willing to book me more than 6 months ahead. After months of trying to find anybody willing to see me, I finally gave up and decided to devote my free time to other endeavors (including, unfortunately, a more pressing medical issue that came up).
My partner had more success (he found a psychologist willing to book him an appointment a year ahead), but the whole process of getting diagnosed still took him quite a bit longer than that because the assessment required multiple appointments. The heart tests were quick, at least (Australia's good at heart stuff). But ultimately, as I already described, he found that the benefits of the medication proved not worth the ongoing effort of managing renewals and refills, frequently missing doses due to shortages, and having it interfere with travel. He's much (and I mean much) better at dealing with that particular flavor of hoop-jumping than I am.
As I mentioned, Australia's healthcare system is usually much more responsive and easy to work with. For every other medical concern I've had, I've never had any issues booking appointments, getting referrals, getting assessments, refilling prescriptions, renewing prescriptions, etc. I can almost always book appointments within 24 hours, get a referral to see a specialist within a few days, get my prescriptions overlapped so I don't run out, etc.
But for some reason, ADHD seems to be uniquely difficult to navigate. Even immigrating (from my first backpacker's visa all the way to full dual citizenship) was easier and faster.
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Comment on Anyone else have Inattentive ADHD? in ~health.mental
RoyalHenOil (edited )Link ParentUnfortunately, even after assessment (which where I live is pretty extensive, including assorted heart tests that require multiple hospital visits), you do have to test out different strength...Unfortunately, even after assessment (which where I live is pretty extensive, including assorted heart tests that require multiple hospital visits), you do have to test out different strength levels (unless you luck out and they get it right the first time), which means repeatedly bouncing back and forth between the doctor and the pharmacist for each prescription update. Then once you settle on a final strength, you have to keep refilling it forever and getting the prescription regularly renewed — and that's on top of navigating medication shortages, planning trips around your prescription refill/renewal schedule, combing through assorted local laws around possession of controlled substances whenever you travel, etc.
It's a big pain. I know it is because my partner (who is diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, although his symptoms are not nearly as severe as mine) has been navigating the system for years. He finally went off his medication because it was too much work to keep his prescription filled. I get that the medication itself makes work like that easier to tolerate, but even on a very strong dosage of Vyvanse, he was really struggling to juggle doctor's appointments, prescription refills, etc., and he often had to take days off work (very hard for him to do as a teacher) because the windows for refilling prescriptions for controlled substances are so tight. I think for someone with milder ADHD or who doesn't work full-time, or for someone who lives in a place with lax drug laws, it's probably a pretty navigable system, but I can't see how to make it work for myself.
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Comment on Anyone else have Inattentive ADHD? in ~health.mental
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI find I'm generally pretty good at jotting things down, as long as it's very easy to. I keep whiteboard markers on my fridge (in a little magnetic holder) and write quick notes and lists directly...I find I'm generally pretty good at jotting things down, as long as it's very easy to. I keep whiteboard markers on my fridge (in a little magnetic holder) and write quick notes and lists directly on the fridge. Then later, I take a photo of those notes on my phone to keep as a to-do list.
The tricky part, for me, isn't finishing tasks. That's easy. Once I get started, nothing will stop me — not even finishing the task. I'll over-polish it just to keep going. (People think I'm perfectionistic for this reason, but actually I just can't stop thinking about whatever it is I've been working on.)
What's hard is actually getting started on new tasks. I do have some thoughts on how to do that, at least for certain kinds of tasks, but this is definitely my biggest weakness.
It's interesting to me that it's the Navy and the Marines who are denying Hegseth's orders, considering how different their cultures are:
and