duality's recent activity
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Comment on What do you like about your job? in ~talk
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Comment on My dad is dying soon in ~talk
duality LinkI lost my father at 19. It still hurts (a little) today in my 40s. The best guidance I can offer is let your self grieve in whatever way it’s showing up for you. It may not always be like you...I lost my father at 19. It still hurts (a little) today in my 40s.
The best guidance I can offer is let your self grieve in whatever way it’s showing up for you. It may not always be like you expect and that’s okay.
Your pain will ease over time and I am glad you get to be the one who gets to comfort him, i can only hope I’m as lucky as he is.
If you ever want to talk to someone you don’t have to apologize too, feel free to reach out!
Edits: clarity
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Comment on Great audiobooks that come to mind because the narrator is amazing and NOT Ray Porter? in ~books
duality (edited )Link ParentI believe they also read the Wheel of Time series. Definitely my favorite duo in the fantasy space. edit: moving to fast :)I believe they also read the Wheel of Time series. Definitely my favorite duo in the fantasy space.
edit: moving to fast :)
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Comment on Anyone interested practicing Stoicism? in ~humanities
duality Link ParentI have experienced this love and this is a really important distinction that most people miss when first practicing stoicism or mindfulness. As someone who has been actively practicing for 15...- Exemplary
I have experienced this love and this is a really important distinction that most people miss when first practicing stoicism or mindfulness. As someone who has been actively practicing for 15 years, my favorite way to describe it is “giving your feelings space”
By space, I mean that my feelings exist in a “no judgment zone” where I don’t try to adapt my feelings to the thinking mind right away. I bring my attention fully into the moment, especially if feelings are intense.
These tools, like stoicisms teachings, are all designed to bring your attention into this moment. You are reading these words right now. How do you feel? How does the air smell? What sounds can you year.
While there are deeper concepts that can be learned, remember the core: Your power is in this moment… this “right now” that is flowing into the future.
We are all surfing a wave of space time. When we plan the future, we do it now. When we hurt or laugh over the past, we do it now. This is hard for the mind which has invented a story for is to live in. Most of us are trapped there not realizing that the world and our perception of it are two different things. When you start paying attention to now, to this moment, you start building that “space” I mentioned earlier.
The joy and love I get to share with those around me grows in that space where my mind is not obsessively thinking about the boss, or that thing I said that didn’t come out right.
In this moment, I am writing this in my back yard, in the Pacific Northwest as a plane flys over. The air is sweet and it is still a cool edge to the air.
I wish you all the best in your practice. Feel free to AMA, this practice quite literally saved my life and I’m happy to share anecdotes from my journey .
Edits: Typos, clarity
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Comment on Where is everyone hosting their email these days? in ~tech
duality Link ParentI’d add that I moved my company domain to Hey.com too, with workflows and screening it’s great for small teams.I’d add that I moved my company domain to Hey.com too, with workflows and screening it’s great for small teams.
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Comment on Electric vehicles wait longer on dealer lots than hybrids or ice vehicles in the US in ~transport
duality LinkI’m curious about an apples to apples comparison. Are ICE and Hybrid vehicles at the same price point selling at a faster rate? KRebel pointed out that they are aren’t talking Tesla or Bolt. I own...I’m curious about an apples to apples comparison. Are ICE and Hybrid vehicles at the same price point selling at a faster rate? KRebel pointed out that they are aren’t talking Tesla or Bolt.
I own 2023 MachE and have seen 4 or 5 in my area and counting. The 3250 rebate isn’t as awesome as the 7500 rebate. But I also saved for the car for 2 years and can afford the payments.
The other interesting thing is that the vehicles sitting on lots around here are used EVs and drab colors. I haven’t seen anything with color sitting on a lot.
I wonder if there is a good data set on this.
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Comment on Do you have an anime that serves as your guilty pleasure? in ~anime
duality LinkMy kids and I got really deep into Full Metal Alchemist, Brotherhood. It’s really approachable for someone who is just exploring anime for the first time. Fun fact: there are two different series...My kids and I got really deep into Full Metal Alchemist, Brotherhood. It’s really approachable for someone who is just exploring anime for the first time.
Fun fact: there are two different series of Full Metal; Brotherhood is closest to the manga.
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Comment on Christian Selig: I want to debunk Reddit's claims, and talk about their unwillingness to work with developers, moderators, and the larger community, as well as say thank you for all the support in ~tech
duality Link ParentMe too Hailo, I’d even tip when a new icon or feature dropped. Reddit is really messing up on this one.Me too Hailo, I’d even tip when a new icon or feature dropped. Reddit is really messing up on this one.
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Comment on Russian police raid NGINX Moscow office in ~tech
duality LinkHere is another source, definitely doesn't appear to be good for Nginx or those of us that manage it. https://habr.com/en/post/479968/Here is another source, definitely doesn't appear to be good for Nginx or those of us that manage it.
https://habr.com/en/post/479968/ -
Comment on What does your ideal Friday night look like? in ~talk
duality LinkMy wife and I just had a baby. Tonight is my night to watch and feed her for the late shift. We've been trading off the duty every night since she was born. This way we both get REM at least every...My wife and I just had a baby. Tonight is my night to watch and feed her for the late shift. We've been trading off the duty every night since she was born. This way we both get REM at least every other night. So far this has kept us sane if not fairly tired.
Thankfully, from experience this should only last a few more months. Sleep... you're coming someday!
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Comment on Why every cyclist needs a pool noodle in ~hobbies
duality LinkI think this is great problem solving. It's: Cheap Improves Safety A Great Conversation Starter Easy to mount vertically when not needed I've personally been hit by a car, and the most stressful...I think this is great problem solving. It's:
- Cheap
- Improves Safety
- A Great Conversation Starter
- Easy to mount vertically when not needed
I've personally been hit by a car, and the most stressful time is biking in the mountains or islands of Washington state with little or no shoulder. Will I add it to my work commute? Probably not. But for low visibility and dangerous curvy mountain roads, it's definitely something I would consider.
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Comment on Epic Games Store - Mega Sale - Up to 75% off and $10 off every game $14.99+ in ~games
duality Link ParentCaved and finally created an epic account for this. ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗCaved and finally created an epic account for this. ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
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Comment on Is there an app for this? Help me fix my terrible security in ~tech
duality LinkNo love yet for 1Password? I do think I'm grandfathered in to the old non-cloud plan, but it's great if you need more "commercial" support. e.g. You have a non-technical boss that doesn't like...No love yet for 1Password? I do think I'm grandfathered in to the old non-cloud plan, but it's great if you need more "commercial" support. e.g. You have a non-technical boss that doesn't like that "open source crap".
1password is integrated into iOS now and works really well in most App situations. (There is also autofill support and apps for many major platforms including linux, Android, and Chrome). For those situations where autofill doesn't work. I simply summon the app via hotkey and you can search and copy the password without having to leave the keyboard. (Workflow is slightly less ideal on the phone, but still).
All of this said, I joined the 1Password family a long time ago before there were the options today. I haven't tried KeePass or some of the alternatives mentioned here.
Although I would avoid Lastpass, especially in a group situation. Due to the poor browser implementation if you have access to a login you can reveal the password, even if the person sharing has disabled that feature. How? Lastpass stores the actual password in it's "password" input. Changing this input to type="text" reveals the password. Boo... So easy to fix too...
Good luck in your hunt!
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Comment on What's an important life lesson that you learned far later than you should have? in ~talk
duality (edited )LinkThat concepts, our thoughts and perspectives, are really just illusions. When we develop as humans, one of the first thing (for most of us) is the development of language. We learn simple sounds...- Exemplary
That concepts, our thoughts and perspectives, are really just illusions.
When we develop as humans, one of the first thing (for most of us) is the development of language. We learn simple sounds have meaning. We begin to use those sounds in reference to very powerful forces in our lives. "Dad", "Mom", "Me", your given name and more begin to shape a "reality" that we interact and grow in.
As the years go on we develop a whole identity out of concepts that we invest with emotion and meaning. Things that happened to us, our social circles and status, our jobs and rolls in society. Of course there is nothing inherently wrong with this and actually we need our concepts and stories to function in society.
That said, this process creates an inherent error in that by default we treat these concepts and identity as reality instead of referencing reality. We interact with our thoughts, feelings and stories as if they were absolutely real rather than relatively real. This "unconsciousness" keeps us trapped in old toxic patterns and causes much of the suffering on the planet. This is how minimization and demonization work; propagandists create a concept of "the other" that is small and evil. e.g. "Democrats support killing newborn babies!". For humans that are unaware of how this happens they start to imagine evil people that are dangerous and scary because they are going to come steal and murder your baby. Taken to an extreme humans murder each other because they've reduced "the other" to an immanent threat.
Beyond society, it causes problems at a personal level. I personally had some very toxic coping mechanisms and self-beliefs that drove me in my early 20's. I didn't believe I was lovable. I believed I was destined to become an addict like my father. I had created a toxic identity that ruled my life. I thought there was no escape and it destroyed my first family.
The hardest thing about learning this however is that it's a sort of anti-concept. Mindfulness, Presence, "Be in the moment" are all concepts that try to point to this practice. I describe it as simply being aware of your thoughts without buying into your thoughts. But regardless it's only something that can be experienced, not intellectualized.
When my life shattered I met people that taught me about these processes in our mind and I started to see that the stories about myself and the world that I bought into were just stories. At that moment I started interacting with the reality that was happening to me right now rather than interacting with stories in my head.
In other words, the only thing that is real is this moment. The moment in which you are reading this. Everything else, your future, your past only exist in your head. When are you thinking about the future? Now. When are you thinking about the past? Now. Therefor you can only ever change anything now.
I really can't describe how powerful it is not to interact with the world through all these stories. Stories put there by our parents, cultures, countries and our selves. When we interact with the reality presented to us in the present moment without the judgments of our stories and pain, we can more clearly see our next steps toward the life we want to live. I personally went from broke, with a broken family to living one of the best lives I could imagine with a fabulous family, work environment and almost no fear or anxiety.
I believe that had I learned this skill at 20 rather than 29 I wouldn't have destroyed my first marriage, I also think I would have excelled in my career much sooner. That said, I wouldn't change a thing about my journey here. I have a life worth living. I only hope I can continue to share it with my friends, family and children. :-)
Edit: Edited some phrasing for better clarity.
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Comment on How do you structure larger projects? in ~comp
duality LinkCould you tell us a bit more about the outcome these modules are trying to achieve? Are they doing large amounts of ETL of data? Data modeling? Etc? Most starter templates for various applications...Could you tell us a bit more about the outcome these modules are trying to achieve? Are they doing large amounts of ETL of data? Data modeling? Etc?
Most starter templates for various applications types will give you a decent starter organization of your source and header files. But in my experience it’s ultimately dependent on your use-case.
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~tildes
duality LinkThese reports would be a great place to "Triage" from to prioritize and highlight items that contributors can grab and start working on. :-)These reports would be a great place to "Triage" from to prioritize and highlight items that contributors can grab and start working on. :-)
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Comment on Markdown preview is now available when writing topics/comments/etc. in ~tildes.official
duality LinkFantastic contribution @wirelyre, I was just wishing for this yesterday. :-)Fantastic contribution @wirelyre, I was just wishing for this yesterday. :-)
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Comment on Avengers Endgame discussion thread, potential spoilers in ~movies
duality Link ParentI agree, very much a "this should be interesting" feeling after that sceneI agree, very much a "this should be interesting" feeling after that scene
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Comment on What is, in your opinion, missing on Tildes? in ~tildes
duality LinkI'm looking forward to getting reputation management logic iterating. The reputation roadmap is a great start and will help start communities self-manage as they grow. In addition one of the...I'm looking forward to getting reputation management logic iterating. The reputation roadmap is a great start and will help start communities self-manage as they grow.
In addition one of the things I loved about the old BBS communities was that community-leaders came from the community and were identified as such. We had visuals that established someone's reputation on sight and helped the user gauge the source. It would be cool to think of some ways we could simply promote those users that contribute strongly to the culture and/or content of a group.
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Comment on What is, in your opinion, missing on Tildes? in ~tildes
duality Link ParentFor a community like Tildes people are being thoughtful about the discussions they engage in. It takes more time to engage in thoughtful conversation vs throwing memes around. We'll all just have...For a community like Tildes people are being thoughtful about the discussions they engage in. It takes more time to engage in thoughtful conversation vs throwing memes around. We'll all just have to engage more.
I can say that I now check Tildes first prior to going to Reddit or alternatives. :-)
I’m recently also moved to Sr. leadership. The world needs experienced leadership like us helping our other executives navigate technology effectively. But oh man do I miss those long weeks of flow, with concrete working deliverables at the end. So satisfying.