fefellama's recent activity
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (April 2026) in ~health.mental
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
fefellama Link ParentYes, but don't let the Disney label fool you. It was cancelled specifically because Disney thought the show wasn't good for their brand (i.e. too much lgbtq representation). But they did a good...Yes, but don't let the Disney label fool you. It was cancelled specifically because Disney thought the show wasn't good for their brand (i.e. too much lgbtq representation). But they did a good job of wrapping up the show with a mini season 3, so you won't be left hanging. So the first two seasons are around 20 episodes each, and then season 3 is just three longer episodes (like 45 mins each) that wrap up the story pretty neatly. And funny tidbit, the first word of each of those three final episodes is 'Thanks... For... Watching...'.
It's kid friendly in the same vein as Avatar: The Last Airbender or The Dragon Prince in my opinion. Speaking of which, The Dragon Prince and The Owl House are the two shows I've seen with the best representation of diversity. Like tons of shows I've seen might have a gay character or someone with a disability, but it's always mentioned or referenced in some way. Dragon Prince and Owl House are the only two that I can remember where like, a character is deaf, or bi, or goes by they/them, or whatever, and like no one bats an eye at them. It's not brought up as a hindrance, or a plot point, or a joke, it's just perfectly accepted and everyone goes about their day. It's great, but almost jarring sometimes hearing the bad guy whose main goal its to eradicate humanity or whatever, but they'll never misgender a character, lol. They may be evil, but they're not evil haha.
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
fefellama Link ParentHey I know this is a few months later but I recently watched all of The Owl House and I thought of your comment about found families. The whole show is one big found family made up of a super...The show might be up my alley I'm a big sucker for finding a found family
Hey I know this is a few months later but I recently watched all of The Owl House and I thought of your comment about found families. The whole show is one big found family made up of a super diverse cast of characters with their own issues and backstories and is wholesome AF. Highly recommend.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentHey thanks, I totally get what you mean. I was actually thinking the same thing recently. Like it's such a life-altering thing for me and yet mostly the reactions were pretty mild relative to how...Hey thanks, I totally get what you mean. I was actually thinking the same thing recently. Like it's such a life-altering thing for me and yet mostly the reactions were pretty mild relative to how anxious I was. I'm glad there was no negative reaction or anything, it just feels a bit anticlimactic. The juxtaposition between how huge of a decision this is for me compared to how little it impacts other people's lives feels like a blow straight to the ego. I wasn't expecting waterworks or anything, but I was surprised how much it just felt like a regular week at the office this past week.
Good life lesson I guess. I'll try and remember this feeling next time I have a big thing to get off my chest.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
fefellama Link ParentOhh this looks right up my alley, thanks for the suggestion! And I call them roguelike dicebuilders but I'm not sure if that's a popular term or not.Ohh this looks right up my alley, thanks for the suggestion! And I call them roguelike dicebuilders but I'm not sure if that's a popular term or not.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentThanks! It has indeed been a massive effort, but hopefully pays off and then some.Thanks! It has indeed been a massive effort, but hopefully pays off and then some.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentLol I was referring to Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. I visited England once but did not know if those other three were distinct enough or if they felt mostly similar in terms of culture...Lol I was referring to Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. I visited England once but did not know if those other three were distinct enough or if they felt mostly similar in terms of culture and daily life. I just included Canada and Australia because they are also English-speaking and we just happened to look into them about a year ago before coming up with our plan for Brazil.
And unfortunately I think a lot of places are experiencing problems. So for me it feels like a pick-your-poison situation where I have to just accept some things in order to get away from others. Brazil isn't perfect by any means, but I feel like it's the best for our specific situation. I hope you can find somewhere that feels equally perfect for you!
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentYeah immigration is a lot tougher than many people realize. My parents did the inverse when I was a kid (Brazil to USA) and I never fully appreciated how much work it was to leave your home...Yeah immigration is a lot tougher than many people realize. My parents did the inverse when I was a kid (Brazil to USA) and I never fully appreciated how much work it was to leave your home country into a whole new culture with no family to rely on, just a basic grasp of the language, and that's it. I'm now doing immigration the easy way since I'm already Brazilian (just needed a visa for my wife) and have plenty of family over there already, and even still it's been months of planning and paperwork. That's a big part of why I want to take the sabbatical later this year, to ensure that my wife, who understands but doesn't fully speak Portuguese, can acclimate without much issue.
And forgive my ignorance, but would another part of the UK not feel different enough? We also briefly looked into Canada or Australia because of the lack of a language barrier, but I'm fairly sure they required a job lined up as a sort of sponsor. Much harder to just move first and figure out the details later.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentYup, that's the exact dream I'm hoping to achieve. Glad it worked out for you! It's part of what makes it feel so tense right now. Because I can see that finish line in sight, just need to...The end result was that I strengthened my relationship with my spouse, cleaned up the physical and mental health damage from the toxic job, found a much more congenial environment, community, and lifestyle
Yup, that's the exact dream I'm hoping to achieve. Glad it worked out for you! It's part of what makes it feel so tense right now. Because I can see that finish line in sight, just need to actually push through these last 100m of the marathon. And thanks for the well wishes!
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentOh man yeah that commute sounds not pleasant to say the least. Good luck on your interview! And yeah I really wanted to just walk away entirely in 2024, but I didn't have any plans or anything at...Oh man yeah that commute sounds not pleasant to say the least. Good luck on your interview! And yeah I really wanted to just walk away entirely in 2024, but I didn't have any plans or anything at the time so I mustered everything I could to suck it up until I had a plan. Would have for sure left early 2025 if we didn't decide to move countries.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentThanks! Hopefully some of the nerves go away after tomorrow.Thanks! Hopefully some of the nerves go away after tomorrow.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentThanks for the support! Deep down I know you're right and I truly am confident in my decision. It's just hard not to feel nervous at such a big life change.Thanks for the support!
Deep down I know you're right and I truly am confident in my decision. It's just hard not to feel nervous at such a big life change.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama (edited )LinkEDIT: So I did it! Told my boss I'm leaving in two weeks. Was a bit bittersweet. They took it just fine and seemed as sympathetic as could be. Feels like a big weight has been lifted. Thank you to...EDIT: So I did it! Told my boss I'm leaving in two weeks. Was a bit bittersweet. They took it just fine and seemed as sympathetic as could be. Feels like a big weight has been lifted. Thank you to everyone in this thread (and elsewhere on Tildes) who wished me well and provided their own stories to relate to.
Original comment:
So tomorrow (Monday, March 2nd) I'm going to be quitting my job!
Well I'll be giving them two weeks of notice, but still, the cat will finally be out of the bag. I've known since about a year and a half ago that I'd be leaving (October 2024 to be exact), and have posted some bits and pieces of my situation here on Tildes before. TL;DR they don't value me at all. Workload has quadrupled, stress has quadrupled, blame has quadrupled, yet pay has stayed the same (which effectively means it's gone down thanks to inflation). Have spent the last year or so planning an international move (USA to Brazil), involving tons of bureaucracy and consulate visits and nonstop research and soon an apartment purchase as well. In truth I could probably stay a couple more months, but we will be heading over soon to start looking at apartments and hopefully put in an offer on one, so we needed to be flexible on dates and I've already used up all my limited vacation time. I'd have to let them know at some point, so I decided to just rip off the bandage tomorrow rather than try to plan a bunch of weekend trips with what few PTO days I have left.
I've never really quit a job before, so I'm nervous as fuck. This is my first and only 'real' job since graduate school. Before that I had various part-time jobs, but those were always with the understanding that it would just be temporary. But this job is differrent. I've been here for like 7 years and I really saw myself staying here long-term before the wool was lifted from my eyes at the end of 2024. And it's not like I'm leaving this job to start a new job immediately after. The plan is to move in the next month or two (pending the apartment purchase) and then get situated and basically take a sabbatical for the rest of 2026 while we adapt to our new lives. Then a fresh start in 2027. It's quite literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity given that my parents are also about to retire and have always planned on returning to Brazil once they did, plus we have a toddler that will need to start schooling in about a year. So the timing just feels right.
I'm not seriously having second thoughts or anything, I know that this is the right move for my family right now (wife is 100% on-board and supportive, though equally nervous). But I just know that tomorrow I'm going to have an uncomfortable conversation with my boss, that I suspect will come as a complete shock to them (though in my mind they really should have seen this coming, but who knows). I've imagined the scenario in my head a million times. I'd love to just go in and tell them how terrible they've made me feel and how incompetent I think they are, but then that'd be awkward as fuck for the remaining two weeks and I'd rather avoid it as much as possible. So I'm planning on being much more diplomatic and just saying that it's health-related (which it totally is because the stress of this job has really been taking its toll on me, first mentally and even physically in recent months). I know that leaving is not a spur-of-the-moment decision, I know that we have a solid plan lined up that we've been tweaking and working on for months, I know that things will be alright, but it's still a scary thing to leave the comfort and safety of the known, for the uncertainty of the unknown. Excited for the future, but anxious as hell.
Oh and in case I hesitate, I could just remind myself about how in my latest performance evaluation they faulted me for taking an 'excessive' vacation of 2.5 weeks, which I communicated and was given the okay for MONTHS in advance. I spent the first five years of my time here taking basically no vacations, using up all my PTO time for doctors visits and other miscellaneous life events (like one time I took 3 weeks of paternity leave which was really just all of my vacation time for that year since we don't actually have any paternity/maternity leave). But then the second I actually start taking some vacation time for actual vacations it's 'excessive'? Yeah okay.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
fefellama Link ParentSure! My two favorites are Slice & Dice and Dicey Dungeons. Then I have Dicefolk and Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles on my wishlist, so I can't comment too much on them other than that they look...Sure!
My two favorites are Slice & Dice and Dicey Dungeons.
Then I have Dicefolk and Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles on my wishlist, so I can't comment too much on them other than that they look interesting to me.
Slice & Dice and Astrea both have demos, so you could always check em out first to see if you like them. The Slice & Dice one in particular is basically just the whole game minus some missing features, so I played the crap out of that before actually deciding to get the game, lol.
And besides those dice games, figured I would mention a deckbuilder or two: Dancing Duelists which is by the same team who made Slay the Spire. Not as deep but free and fun. And then Balatro is the other I figured I'd mention in case you haven't gotten around to trying it. In my opinion it's the only deckbuilder that rivals MT and StS in terms of quality. And I've been playing a lot of Ring of Pain recently and have been surprised by how much it's hooking me. But it's no Balatro/MT/StS.
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Comment on Tell me about your favourite web-based logic puzzles! in ~games
fefellama LinkSome great games posted here, I'd like to add Dragonsweeper. It's basically minesweeper with extra steps. A bit tricky at first but is completely possible to not just beat the game but beat it...Some great games posted here, I'd like to add Dragonsweeper. It's basically minesweeper with extra steps. A bit tricky at first but is completely possible to not just beat the game but beat it perfectly and while completing all the achievements in one go (complete the game, don't kill the two lovers, don't kill any rats, and don't break the egg).
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Comment on New accounts on Hacker News ten times more likely to use em-dashes in ~tech
fefellama Link ParentWhy do you find the culture on HN more susceptible to bots than Reddit? Not disagreeing, just curious.Why do you find the culture on HN more susceptible to bots than Reddit? Not disagreeing, just curious.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
fefellama Link ParentSome great games you've listed. I too got lost in the vastness of the Hinterlands and eventually got bored of the game only to look up some info online and see that the number one advice for the...Some great games you've listed. I too got lost in the vastness of the Hinterlands and eventually got bored of the game only to look up some info online and see that the number one advice for the game is to leave the fucking Hinterlands, lol.
Super Monkey Ball, THPS, Mad Max, and Lego Star Wars are all pretty chill games so they should definitely work as palette cleansers. I'm sure the others do too, I'm just not as familiar with them.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
fefellama Link ParentHell yeah, random everything on Monster Train is the way to go. Never know what you're going to get and what your deck will end up looking like. Are you looking for more suggestions of roguelike...Hell yeah, random everything on Monster Train is the way to go. Never know what you're going to get and what your deck will end up looking like.
Are you looking for more suggestions of roguelike deckbuilders or not really? If not, that's totally cool, but you may want to check out a few roguelike dice-builders if you haven't already. They scratch a similar itch for me to deckbuilders like MT and StS (though I agree that not much comes close to those two in terms of quality and staying power).
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Comment on How do you remember? in ~tech
fefellama (edited )LinkI've tried a bunch of those apps/sites too and honestly I've found that none of them have a perfect one-size-fits-all solution because there are different kinds of information that I need to...I've tried a bunch of those apps/sites too and honestly I've found that none of them have a perfect one-size-fits-all solution because there are different kinds of information that I need to remember.
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If it's something important that I need to remember but am unsure when, like a code or name or number or something, I'll probably just email it to myself. That way if/when I need if in the future I can just search for it in my email very easily.
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If it's something I'm sorta maybe interested in but not too fussed over if I remember to check it out or not, maybe I'll just leave a browser tab open for a few days/weeks until I decide that I actually want to read it or not (often times I'll just close it after a few days because I'm not that interested any more).
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If it's a webpage that I know I'd like to come back to, I'll just bookmark it into an appropriate bookmark folder.
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If it's a lot of text that I need to save, like a list of stuff to do or notes from a phone conversation, I'll just use the default notes app on my phone, or maybe a google doc/sheet if I'd like to share it with my wife.
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If I need to be reminded at a specific date or time, then I'll just use the reminders app on my phone, or a basic alarm if its within the next 24 hours or so.
Seems like a messy system, but it mostly works fine for me. Despite there being like 5-10 different apps and programs, I find that it works well because each program or app serves a specific role rather than trying to remind me of everything.
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Comment on FK Bodø/Glimt's 5-2 aggregate success against Inter Milan secured their place in the Champions League last sixteen for the first time – will face either Manchester City or Sporting CP in ~sports.football
fefellama Link ParentHa! I came in here yesterday thinking you had already posted it. Anyways, big props to Bodø! I couldn't watch the whole game but I saw the extended highlights and they genuinely looked solid...Ha! I came in here yesterday thinking you had already posted it.
Anyways, big props to Bodø! I couldn't watch the whole game but I saw the extended highlights and they genuinely looked solid throughout. Inter had more chances but the Bodø ones looked (and were) more lethal! And all while being in their off-season.
I wonder how far they'll go in this competition given they've already beat Man City, Inter(x2), and Atletico.
So exactly a month ago I posted on here that I was about to leave my job. And well, I did it. Was bittersweet at first. I had already been feeling super underappreciated at my position, which was a big part of why I was leaving, but it stung a little to essentially get told 'alright see ya'. Like the difference in how big a deal this was for me (huge life change, leaving my job of 7 years to move internationally) compared to the reactions I got (or lack thereof) was pretty humbling.
Anyways, that was a month ago. I'm happy to report that after the initial wave of 'oh shit what am I doing', I feel a lot better and more confident about my decision. It's not like I wasn't confident in the decision before, this has been planned for months after all, it's just a big leap of faith to take when going from a known job and life and living situation into the unknown. All the planning and research only gets you so far before you actually have to take the plunge.
Well just a few days after my last day of work, my wife and I went down to Brazil to look at apartments. We found some that we liked, put in an offer on one, it was accepted, and now we are waiting on some paperwork to get things moving more concretely.
There's still a lot of stress involved, like for example the rising cost of fuel means plane tickets have gotten way more expensive, so we are trying to shuffle around how many trips we end up doing so as to save a few grand. But little by little it's getting easier. Each box ticked is another step in the right direction and feels like a big relief.
So thank you to Tildes for having this recurring thread to allow people to vent or share what's going on in their lives, and thank you to anyone who has replied to me in this or previous threads with words of encouragement. Those seemingly small comments really helped me feel a sense of validity that I wasn't insane for feeling how I did and that my plans weren't completely unreasonable.