Raspcoffee's recent activity
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Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
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Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
Raspcoffee LinkLots of job applications, lots of rejections again... I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. It feels like I'm stuck forever and never. It's exhausting to continue, but I don't see a...Lots of job applications, lots of rejections again... I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. It feels like I'm stuck forever and never. It's exhausting to continue, but I don't see a way out without it.
Despite knowing full well I'm smart enough it's difficult not to let it get to me. I've been in this situation for a year now.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee Link ParentYeah, our lives aren't designed around working in a village anymore. We've grown extremely far away from how we are supposed to live for the live society wishes us to live. It's funny in a sad way...I'm working or commuting from 7am-6pm. We want a family but I'm flabbergasted at how anyone makes this work.
Yeah, our lives aren't designed around working in a village anymore. We've grown extremely far away from how we are supposed to live for the live society wishes us to live. It's funny in a sad way how our society is not social anymore, when they share a lingual history.
I hope you can manage to find a way to make a proper life in this society. It's hard unfortunately, which I struggle with myself as well. So I get where you're coming from.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee Link ParentMan, sounds like yesterday was a hellish pile of you. I hope your situation is more calm now. 💕 Being tired, trying to work to your own issues to then get that while poorly rested sounds draining.Man, sounds like yesterday was a hellish pile of you. I hope your situation is more calm now. 💕 Being tired, trying to work to your own issues to then get that while poorly rested sounds draining.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Raspcoffee LinkReplayed Ghost Trick on Steam this time. As during the DS years I could only play it through uhrm alternative methods, so I could finally pay for it. On one UI complaint aside, it's an excellent...Replayed Ghost Trick on Steam this time. As during the DS years I could only play it through uhrm alternative methods, so I could finally pay for it. On one UI complaint aside, it's an excellent port and I can highly recommend it.
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Comment on What are three things you're feeling positively about today? in ~talk
Raspcoffee LinkGoing to cook very fancy tomorrow for my mother, I already have a few ideas that I'm looking forward to making. The weather, climate change doom feelings aside, it's been really nice today. This...- Going to cook very fancy tomorrow for my mother, I already have a few ideas that I'm looking forward to making.
- The weather, climate change doom feelings aside, it's been really nice today.
- This video that popped up in my feed today of NASA's new rocket engine. That stuff is insane, and it may well make heavier spaceflights possible.
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Comment on Dutch singer and rapper Joost Klein disqualified from Eurovision song contest because of incident involving female member of production crew in ~music
Raspcoffee Linksigh Given how there's also so much drama about... certain other conflicts and the Eurovision, imma go avoid all news tonight. I get the feeling the popcorn climax tonight will be so spicy that'll...sigh
Given how there's also so much drama about... certain other conflicts and the Eurovision, imma go avoid all news tonight. I get the feeling the popcorn climax tonight will be so spicy that'll still be hot tomorrow, and without getting a whirlwind of the shitshow.
Maybe I'll book a holiday in northern Norway or something later this year to get off the net and sleep in a tent to take a break from this world.
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Comment on EA is looking at putting in-game ads in AAA games — 'We'll be very thoughtful as we move into that,' says CEO in ~games
Raspcoffee Link ParentThis is something we've been seeing in the tech on many aspects. Privacy, advertisements, monopolies(although this one also goes on outside of tech)... Sometimes I wonder whether we're setting...Once users get used to that, they will start adding more, little by little, because incremental changes are easier to accept than a large change.
This is something we've been seeing in the tech on many aspects. Privacy, advertisements, monopolies(although this one also goes on outside of tech)... Sometimes I wonder whether we're setting ourselves up for a situation of such brute profit-seeking that it will eventually come crashing down, similar to how revolutions can pop up out of brutal inequality.
I'd rather not see that happen, and rather focus on improving the world step-by-step instead of more conflicts. Our history is already full enough of those as it is. But we seem to be incredibly hard of learning at times as a species. (As mentioned in another comment, I know this sounds dramatic over just advertisements in games, but the global trend... ah well you probably get what I mean.)
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Comment on EA is looking at putting in-game ads in AAA games — 'We'll be very thoughtful as we move into that,' says CEO in ~games
Raspcoffee LinkCan't help but think about this article from the Onion: 17 Days In Incubator Longest Time Premature Baby Will Go Without Being Exposed To Advertising First privacy, and now our ability to not be...Can't help but think about this article from the Onion: 17 Days In Incubator Longest Time Premature Baby Will Go Without Being Exposed To Advertising
First privacy, and now our ability to not be bombarded with advertisements all the time? I'm wondering whether I should take a membership at the library again to just get into books... away from it all. I have a hard time believing our mad obsession with profit and economic growth is sustainable - but I also have a hard time imagining how our society will end up as a result.
I long for a future where our humanity is not for sale, rent, or otherwise a resource drain. I'm not even on the far side of the left(hell, in 1960s Netherlands I'd probably be considered a centrist, for comparison outside of the current neoliberal political climate) - and I know this sounds dramatic over this one article, it's mostly a feeling I get when I look at the direction things are taking.
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Comment on HADES II Early Access has started in ~games
Raspcoffee Link ParentAnd with any other dev team I'd probably consider that a negative as it'd make me more wary of it being bug-ridden and whatnot. But given the absolute masterpiece that Hades is...And with any other dev team I'd probably consider that a negative as it'd make me more wary of it being bug-ridden and whatnot. But given the absolute masterpiece that Hades is...
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Comment on HADES II Early Access has started in ~games
Raspcoffee LinkI don't think I've ever been so thorn about whether or not to buy a game in Early Access or not. On one hand, it means, by default, that it isn't finished. (and I don't have an issue with that in...I don't think I've ever been so thorn about whether or not to buy a game in Early Access or not.
On one hand, it means, by default, that it isn't finished. (and I don't have an issue with that in principle, it can be very useful for developers)
On the other hand... man it's the sequel of Hades of all things.
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Comment on At least thirty protesters arrested during pro-Palestinian protest at UT Austin in ~news
Raspcoffee Link ParentYeah, and this includes protests one may otherwise agree with. I've seen this happen in all kinds of protests, especially during the current polarised political climate. Issues with the protests...Re: protestor behavior, I'll just add that if you judge any protest movement by its worst actors, then one would be compelled to condemn them all.
Yeah, and this includes protests one may otherwise agree with.
I've seen this happen in all kinds of protests, especially during the current polarised political climate. Issues with the protests on the 'other side' are often considered a sign something is wrong with them. But not the ones the very same person agrees with.
At the same time, I also agree with @Minori 's response later in this thread with:
Obviously a lot of the protestors have a point and Israel under Bibi is committing heinous acts (almost no one will disagree with this). The concern some Jewish students have is it feels like a Nazi bar situation. Some of the protestors are using openly antisemitic and violent language that directly condemns Jewish people. I'm not talking about "river to the sea" or antizionism either.
As is usual with the situation of the Israeli-Palestine conflict, it's complicated. And there's no easy, clear cut solution. I really wish there was.
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Comment on Happy 6th Birthday, Tildes! in ~tildes
Raspcoffee LinkPretty new here compared to most (API Reddit moment) but it's been nice. Thanks Deimos!Pretty new here compared to most (API Reddit moment) but it's been nice. Thanks Deimos!
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Comment on Have you had a life-altering change in who you are? in ~talk
Raspcoffee Link ParentTad bit late, and someone already said complimented you but still. Growth is to be celebrated, and something I think you can be proud of. All to often we judge ourselves, and others, for how they...This is the thing I am most ashamed about myself.
Tad bit late, and someone already said complimented you but still. Growth is to be celebrated, and something I think you can be proud of.
All to often we judge ourselves, and others, for how they were in the past. But we can't choose how we grew up, only how we decide to grow further. In that sense, you're a better role model than those who support minority rights in a rather milquetoast manner.
Not many people develop the self-reflection you demonstrate with your life.
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Comment on The rise and fall of the trad wife: Alena Kate Pettitt helped lead an online movement promoting domesticity. Now she says, “It’s become its own monster.” in ~life.women
Raspcoffee Link ParentThe list is even longer, unfortunately. Far longer. I know to an extent it's preaching to the choir. But still, I really feel like smashing this weird obsession some people have with the 1950s so...Assuming your husband had returned from the war without PTSD. Assuming your husband was well off enough to afford you any luxuries...
The list is even longer, unfortunately. Far longer. I know to an extent it's preaching to the choir. But still, I really feel like smashing this weird obsession some people have with the 1950s so just to remind people:
- Assuming neither of you are LGBT and forced to live a life of lies. Or another minority really.
- Assuming none of your children get polio and have to become a full time caretaker of one child on top of being the housewife.
- Assuming your husband isn't abusive due to childhood trauma.
- Assuming you aren't abusive due to childhood trauma. Forget getting proper treatment during that time. Also, who has time to talk about feelings? This is still an age where a lot of people even in the more developed countries are trying to survive. If you're already focussing on living standards instead, count yourself lucky.
- Assuming your husband doesn't end up dead at work. Safety conditions aren't what they are today.
- Hell, assuming you don't end up sick, which tanks the entire structure the family relies on. When things are equally shared the family gains more flexibility and by extend power.
There's probably more that I can't think up on top of my head, quickly, but christ. As a dude I can't imagine being sane and wanting to go back to that time. Let alone as woman...
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Comment on Finland has remained the happiest country in the world for the seventh year in a row, according to the annual World Happiness Report published on Wednesday in ~life
Raspcoffee Link ParentYeah, I don't think this is a bad thing to compete over in a way, but more than anything, looking at happiness, live expectancy, quality of life etc. can teach us about ourselves if we compare it...In the end, isn't it better to look at this from a perspective of what the US might improve rather than see it as a sort of underhanded jab and personal insult?
Yeah, I don't think this is a bad thing to compete over in a way, but more than anything, looking at happiness, live expectancy, quality of life etc. can teach us about ourselves if we compare it in a productive way.
In a weird way, I'd argue that the fact that we compare these numbers is in the long arc of human history absolutely phenomenal. For millennia the primary concern was survival, quality metrics of life were secondary. And while much of humanity still suffers in horrible living conditions out of selfish interests (both domestically and foreign), taking a step back it's mind blowing.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee Link ParentChildhood neglect is such a mess. Fighting against an 'active' traumatic memory is one thing, but fighting against a void that's difficult to fill, fight, or process is really hard. It's so...Childhood neglect is such a mess. Fighting against an 'active' traumatic memory is one thing, but fighting against a void that's difficult to fill, fight, or process is really hard.
(and thus not being appropriately taught to invest in myself)
It's so difficult to love yourself when you haven't been receiving that properly as a kid. Self-love is so goddamn difficult to learn as an adult.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee LinkDifficult. Recently had a session with my therapist that brought up my earliest traumatic memory. And I'm pretty confident in that because I was 3 or 4, and I can only recall one earlier memory....Difficult. Recently had a session with my therapist that brought up my earliest traumatic memory. And I'm pretty confident in that because I was 3 or 4, and I can only recall one earlier memory.
It's been pretty liberating to have dug that up, but my brain is still kinda operating on some trauma responses by 'default'. Given how early that memory is and how it's been closer to three than two decades it's not surprising but boy.
I do have a temporary job so that's great. But man. I still really want to start a career.
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Comment on Feeling lost with mental health treatment in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee LinkFirst of all, I'm really sorry you're in such a place. I've been in similar circumstances and to me, it felt like being stuck while being stretched out at the same time. Needing help does not...First of all, I'm really sorry you're in such a place. I've been in similar circumstances and to me, it felt like being stuck while being stretched out at the same time.
I don't know what more to do. I always knew I was broken and needed help. And for all my life I thought that seeing a psychiatrist is a last resort in case "I can't fix myself" on my own.
Needing help does not indicate that you're 'broken', 'unworthy', or whatever you have internalised. I don't blame you for feeling this way, I still feel like it from time to time again. Unfortunately, whenever you hear remarks like:
I've heard my fair share of bad remarks that have gradually demoralised me (ADHD is not real. I'm just lazy. I just like to complain. etc)
From a very young age, it's easy to believe it to be that way fundamentally. "But what if it really is fake? What if I'm not doing enough?" Becomes so internalised that it's difficult to imagine seeing yourself as an equal human being. With it's own flaws, needs, wants, hopes and dreams.
To grow up in a setting completely devoid of empathy to your struggles does not mean that you're broken. In fact, I'd argue the opposite. You've been forced to survive in an environment that's, at least for you, so dysfunctional it may as well have been broken.
Unfortunately many children grow up in situations like that and thus internalise that 'brokenness' upon themselves.
If you've been through a similar journey, I'd love to hear your experience and any advice you wish you had received earlier.
See a therapist, ideally one who is experienced in ADHD and trauma. No one should be forced to live with a self-image that involves themselves being 'broken'. You mention CBT, and if that works it's fine, still, it's the advice I wished I had received back then so here ya go.
I just like to complain. etc) and due to the fact that I also have codependency problems this has greatly hurt me and made me feel like I am completely alone and nobody cares for my troubles or has my wellbeing in their best interest.
I've been in a similar boat quite a few times. I can't speak for you, obviously, but looking back (much) of my codependency in the past stemmed from the fact that I lacked unconditional love as a child. This on it's own, made me look for the combination of unconditional love and an unconditional relationship. Sadly, it's only very young children with their parents that can even have those in a healthy setting. Codependency is the closest thing you can get, but it comes at a very great cost.
The relationship with the one person you ought to both care and love the most: Yourself.
What was more shocking was how internally I felt at peace and something that I'd describe now as euphoric (as I assume this was just a side effect of the medication).
I have to ask, given the similarities, is it by any chance the case that it's the first time you were not depressed? I've had that the first time when I was 25 and it was wild for me. Like life had more colour, and gravity was tuned down. I remember googling back then whether it wasn't hypomania because I struggled to believe that feeling that good was even healthy. When, as it turned out, it's the 'normal' for most people.
Now it's been almost a whole year and I am in a critical time period where I need to excel and put in the work but I find myself succumbing to my symptoms while jumping up and down with the doses of some pills that barely seem to have an effect.
Critical work, for whom? If you ask me, it feels more like you could use time, energy and space for yourself rather than practical matters. Although I'm all to familiar myself with situations where said time, energy and space are not there for people who need it. Still, if there's anything I hope you'll take with you... it's kindness towards yourself.
Being patient and kind towards yourself when you've been told over and over how you're lazy, complain too much etc. is incredibly hard. Still, if you can accept that you are doing your best, even just a little bit, that would be progress. And it's progress that you deserve.
Best of luck, and all the best wishes, kindness and patience to you, from yourself.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Raspcoffee LinkYesterday finished Persona 3: Reload and had an absolute blast with it. I'm kinda glad now that I never bit the bullet with Persona 3 Portable as the current remake has a very good quality....Yesterday finished Persona 3: Reload and had an absolute blast with it. I'm kinda glad now that I never bit the bullet with Persona 3 Portable as the current remake has a very good quality. Despite not having played Persona 4 Golden that long ago now I do secretly hope for a higher quality remake of that to be produced. Unlikely, I know, but still.
Thank you so much for this reply, unironically. I so often get the same empty platitudes, advice, and god knows what else, that it's exhausting. Getting some sympathy, let alone empathy, is rare for me.
Thank you, genuinely. I hope your SO also finds something. ✨