I wanted to write about self-forgiveness because it's such a hard thing for me to do. Past mistakes and trespasses stick in my mind for decades, and it's so hard for me to shake them. This work is an attempt at expressing that difficulty.
Down in the foothills the peak is so perfect Covered in pure white snow Nary a tree in sight The peak carves a visage in the sky In the clouds It just is, it exists peacefully in its austere authority Calm, serene Impossible Yet I yearn to climb To ascend Down in the foothills among the trees The greenof the hills I make my preparations Breath Training Gear I practiceand I meditate I meditate upona life A life of mistakes and triumphs Each breath preparing and steeling It's time to begin my climb Each step and the air, the precious vital air, thins Lungs emptying and muscles weakening And yet I continue Not quite undaunted, but I continue The views are stunning Yet I don't see them, eyes ever on the peak Visualizing success, not the process It's so cold Bitterly, viscerally cold There's no air Even a yogi must stop for air But there's no air The ground slick with snow and ice Snow and ice with the oxygen I need Sealed away in the mystery of the bonds Just as beautiful as it is inaccessible But I continue my climb Slipping and falling, the rocks cut and score Gashes and bruises amass I take a moment and reflect Is it worth it? Shall I ever ascend? And as I slip into meditation, I slip down the mountain All progress lost The world turns around, up and down I lose my breath And land, dizzy and hurt, down the bottom Even further from the peak than when I started.