Question is as stated in the title. How did you learn to read?

I am re-listening to the great podcast, "Sold a Story" and it has prompted a lot of questions to myself, and now to others.

So, I'm curious, how did you learn to read and what do you remember about it? I am extra interested in people who have learned from "non-phonetic" languages, and also have a new curiousity about French, which I consider a language that does not match the spelling of its spoken and written words (if that makes sense, I'm sure that is my own bias there, as an English speaker).

Tell us something you’re proud of.

Celebrate your successes! Pat yourself on the back!

Bragging about yourself is not only allowed but encouraged in this topic.

If you’re naturally humble and don’t know what to say: pretend like this is a job interview and you have to sell everyone here on your strengths and successes.

In 2022, I had a BKA - below-knee amputation - on my left leg. Because of my health issues, I wasn't able to start walking immediately. My health has improved in some ways since then (and in other ways gotten worse), but I'm trying to get back to walking and get out of this stupid wheelchair.

Thanks to my severe ADHD, I struggle with walking every day. Every single day, I deal with fatigue to a larger or smaller degree. So every day, I think "I'm tired today. I'll walk tomorrow" and I never do.

So late last year, I started recording my walking and posting it in a couple of places. I found that it made me feel "responsible" for posting it - that helped overcome the ADHD and I walked every day.

I had some issues that caused me to have to abandon that, but I've restarted that again. And since I've come back to Tildes, I'd like to post that here.

Instead of a new thread every day, I figured I'd post a new comment every day. I hope that's okay. If it's not, I'll stop updating and delete this. But I've found that interacting with people I care about - of which there are some here - helps me do this every day. And some folks seem to like seeing the progress. heh.

I've posted all the videos here: https://www.youtube.com/@Isaac.Eiland-Hall/videos

An idea, a perception, a feeling, an understanding, a concept, a framework, a belief, a response, a decision, etc.

What were you wrong about?
What changed your perception?
What has been gained/lost from your new understanding?

Important: It takes a lot of courage and self-reflection for someone to admit when they're wrong. Please honor that in this topic.

I do not want this topic to be a place where people have their previous wrongs used against them. I want this to be a place of honest, empathetic growth rather than a score-keeping battleground. Give hugs, not hurt.

Alright, odd request time! We need ways for our itchy dog to scratch her itches.

We have no idea why she's so itchy besides maybe allergies. The vet suggested trying a new dog food last winter which seemed to work... But now that it's spring the itchiness is back full force, so looks like the cause is probably seasonal instead of a diet thing. (Related, at that same appointment the vet claimed she was the fifth dog they saw that day with an itch-related problem, so there may just be something environmental impacting local dogs.)

In any event, we won't be going back to the vet for a while so for now we just need solutions for her to scratch it! Right now, she uses these prickly bushes to scratch the itch. She just rubs her face and whole body against it like a cat. She also aggressively rubs her face against our carpeted stairs. However, we're moving in a couple weeks and there are no prickly bushes or carpeted stairs at our new house.

So, I'm open to any suggestions for something to use to scratch herself! Or any other solution to the itchiness really. With luck, she's just allergic to some plant in our yard and the move will clear it up (we do have a bunch of Russian sage invading it), but I'd like some ideas just in case.

If it helps, she's a sheltie. Which means a LOT of thick fur.

I often like to go on the App Store or GitHub and look for new and interesting apps, but very rarely I find really good ones. So I turn to you - what niche apps are you using, why are they niche, why do you use them specifically and would you recommend them?

Here's my Top 3:

Novel writing: I use a tiny app called uFocus for all my Markdown writing. It's lightweight, the developer is a real cool guy and it's entirely free. It has barely any features, and I like that about it. I don't use Word because it's too distracting and complicated, I used to use iA Writer but it's really not justified the updates it's gotten and is straying away from Markdown.

Email: I use MailMate, which is an insanely complicated and user-hostile email client that only works with IMAP/SMTP and does NOT support Gmail or Exchange, but is incredibly powerful at email management and search if you learn how to think like it does. It looks like it hasn't been updated since Mac OS 8, but it's getting regular updates and is very charming in its aesthetic.

Programming: I don't do much, barely some web design, but I like Zed as my editor of choice. It's not very popular, doesn't have a huge user base and barely any extensions compared to a juggernaut like Code or Cursor, but does what it does well and isn't written in Electron. It's also very performant.

This is the thirteenth of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky. Our next book will be A People's Future of the United States by Victor LaValle, at the end of May..

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.
And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

This topic is for the Three Cheers for Tildes mobile app.

I'll summarize the major updates at the start of each similar topic, so people can read the updates and then hit Ignore if they don't care about more frequent updates and user feedback.

Recently:

[Android] Version 1.4.2 (Apr 11, 2025): Reduced highlighting when formatting markdown. Fixed minor text size bugs.

[iOS] Version 1.4.1 (Apr 11, 2025): Fixed a bunch of text size bugs reported through TestFlight, especially when rendering comments. Reduced highlighting when formatting markdown.

Version 1.4.0 (Apr 6, 2025):

• Added text size setting
• Fixed markdown formatting bar bugs

The text size setting for accessibility is long overdue. I've been feeling bad that some users couldn't even use the app because the text was too small.

This has been another large change where I had to go back and re-test screens throughout the entire app, and fix many layout bugs caused by the dynamic text size. It's been very tedious!

In fact, the iOS release is delayed because I found some last-minute bugs and have had to go back to figure out solutions. iOS is up on TestFlight!

Also I am aware that there are still bugs in some places when you set the text excessively large. It's not a priority for me to fix those, unless they make the app unusable.

Have been particularly busy so far this year and that will continue for a while, so I may be less responsive here, even though I likely will see your messages. Thanks for continuing to report issues; v1.4 fixes some bugs based on those reports.

Previous topic: February 2025

Where to get it

Android version on Google Play Store: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.talklittle.android.tildes

Or sideloadable APK at https://www.talklittle.com/three-cheers/

iOS version on the App Store: https://apps.apple.com/app/three-cheers-for-tildes/id6470950557

Join TestFlight for iOS beta testing: https://testflight.apple.com/join/mpVk1qIy

Edit: whoopsie, already being discussed here: https://tildes.net/%7Etildes.official/2x3

This is tangential to this post here about NSFW/controversial content. Sometimes one needs to make a confidential post detached from their own identity (say for example about a psychological problem or advice on an event where the OP wants to conceal real identities), and most places one needs a throwaway account. I think it'd be nicer if we allowed people to make posts detached from their main accounts w/o having to create new throwaway accounts. It might be possible via allowing a certain number of "personas" (i.e. a couple names one can allocate and use as nicknames), or via allowing to post anonymously (i.e. hiding the poster's account name, not w/o one), or allowing personas but temporarily and randomly generated names. What's you thoughts?

I recently finished my 8-pack of ICE BREAKERS DUO strawberry (hard sugar-free mint) which I really liked because they don't leave a sweet/sugary aftertaste in your mouth. I was wondering what I should buy next. What's your favorite brand of mint and why?

I'll go first. I don't like to sleep in the dark, even though it's considered normal. I usually fall asleep with the lights on and either the computer/tv still on as well. This mostly came about because as a night owl, I would often just pass out and incidentally not turn the lights off. Now I've grown so accustomed to it that attempting to sleep in darkness feels strange and uncomfortable. I used to feel a bit guilty about 'wasting electricity,' but since the advent of LED lightbulbs and low-powered computers, I no longer do.

That's my quirk, what's yours?

This is the twelfth of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing Hyperion by Dan Simmons. Our next book will be Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky at the end of April.

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself. Also, this month will be slightly different. I have been exceptionally busy and didn't finish the book this time. I am hoping that you all who did read it will come up with interesting questions in addition to your comments/ reviews.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.
And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

So I normally don't care that much about food. But I just got introduced to r/ididnthaveeggs which is a repository of insane and ridiculous recipe substitutions from the comments sections of recipes. Even with zero knowledge of cooking, I know swapping carrot for shredded kale in a carrot cake recipe will not turn out well.

So cooks and food-eaters of Tildes, what are the most insane and ridiculous substitutions you've encountered or heard of? Especially curious if you've had the (mis)fortune of getting to try the innovative recipe for yourself.

I’m going to bring up examples from a variety of mediums, so I couldn’t really fit this just under ~books or ~tv. Sorry about that.

Lately I’ve been thinking about just how much I love fiction with a good plot device, and I’ve been wondering what it is that makes these devices such great vehicles for telling an interesting story.

Death Note is the first example that comes to mind for me. The “plot device” (and I may not be using this term correctly) if the titular item, which is a notebook where, if one writes a name of a person, while imagining their face, along with a time and date, and then a set of realistic circumstances that lead to that person’s death, then it will occur as written. If nothing other than the name, time, and date are written, then the person dies of a heart attack (after 40 seconds, if I remember correctly). The main character was the right kind to have acquired the book, because it enabled the story to be told in the manner that it was. I think the author illustrated this well when, at the very end, another character, not nearly as intelligent as the previous owner of the Death Note, quickly got done away with.

Code Geass is probably one of my favorite animes of all time. It combines a lot of genres into one. The titular “geass”, however, particularly the one that the main character acquired—which allows him to give a one-time order to any person who looks in his eyes, which the person will see through no matter what—is also an excellent plot device.

*The Lake House, a 2006 fantasy romance film, staring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. It’s not a masterpiece or anything, but I can’t forget the whole plot device about the mailbox that allowed the male main character to send letters to the female main character two years into the past.

Dreamless is one of my favorite webcomics of all time. It’s crazy for me to think that this beautiful, entirely-colored webcomic was made available for free all the way back in 2009. I wish more people knew about it. The plot device, which is brilliant, revolves around a man and a woman who were born on the same day at the same time, but he in Japan, and she in the USA—a few years before the outbreak of WWII. From the very day of their birth, they were “connected”. Whenever they fall asleep, they begin to “see through eyes and hear through the ears of the other” until they wake up. If they both happen to be sleeping at the same time, than they see darkness but still hear surroundings. They became aware of this at very young age, learning each other’s languages and falling in love with each other since they were children. The time zone difference makes it relatively easy for them to observe each other’s lives as one sleeps and the other goes about his or her days. They embark on a quest to figure out how to meet each other, in the midst of a brutal war waged between their respective countries.

Severance is a show that everyone is talking about right now, so I don’t need to explain much to you, right? The plot device here is a chip that is implanted into people’s brains, and makes it so that their memories are split in two, based on location. At their work place, the character’s memories from the outside world are “shut off”, and they only remember what they experienced on the inside. I’m almost done with season two and this show is what prompted me to write this thread. I’ve been loving it.

Black Mirror is a show that I need to give a shoutout to, because many of its most famous episodes are centered around a very specific plot device. For me, the most impressive of these, was the one where they had these chips that basically recorded everything that they saw, and it was a normalized thing in society. I think that it was episode three. Episode eight was also interesting. It was about a society in which people’s social status was determined by their online social media rank.

I had an example in the back of my mind of a piece of fiction with a great plot device that I felt was not properly made use of. I’m sure that there are others like that, and it’s a bit sad when that happens, because there is a great idea right there, but it was wasted. I totally forgot about it though. Maybe you can think of some bad examples yourselves?

Edit: I remembered a different one, In Time, a 2011 movie about a society where people don’t age, but rather have their life spans written on a digital countdown clock on their arms. The way that people used their lifespans as currency that they could exchange was a neat idea. I didn’t watch the movie, but I read from other people about it, and it seemed to me like the concept wasn’t properly explored. Maybe I should give it a chance.

And maybe you can also think of some other good examples, plot devices in books, shows, movies, manga, anime that really blew you away. I’d be curious to hear about them because I’d like to look into them if it’s something that catches my interest.

As for what makes a plot device interesting for me, here are some points:

• It is a concept that is easy to grasp or an object the functions of which are easy to understand.
• It has strict limitations that the plot revolves around and the characters repeatedly run up against. These limitations are explained very early on in the story.
• The plot device and its origins gets gradually explained over the course of the piece.
• The story is largely centered around a small group of individuals.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

Preface:

• Beware: long, scattered post incoming.
• I'm not having suicidal thoughts. No matter what happens, life is still worth living.

I'm spiraling right now. I'm so confused and lost that I need to just put this out there, somewhere, anywhere. Here goes:

I've been happily married for coming up on 8 years next week. Our relationship has always been strong, we've always considered each other best friends, and I've always felt that our love was built on a rock-solid foundation.

Lately, my wife has been acting very distant. Enough so that it started ringing some alarm bells in my head. I took a personal inventory of several of the "disconnected" events and sat down with her last week to ask if we were okay. Her response was indifference. After a bit of a pause, I asked her if she still loved me, to which she responded "I don't know." Of course a lot more was said, but the summary is that I was completely floored and she was emotionless and indifferent.

I asked one thing: that we would set up marriage counseling sessions. She agreed. Our initial individual sessions start next week.

Since then, I've spent every single moment trying to examine myself and my flaws, where I've damaged our relationship in the past, and what I can do in the future to be a better person for her.

On Monday, I actually had some massive discoveries about myself, and blindspots in my emotional maturity. I discovered one little thing, which led to two or three more. By the end of this very exciting and motivating self-reflection session, I was PUMPED UP! For once in years, I felt like I've discovered this whole new region of growth in my brain.

I also had a session with my therapist that same day, in which I shared the recent events and my bout of epiphanies. She mentioned that "sometimes it takes a major life event to get people out of a rut and start a growth journey." I left the session feeling really good, really motivated, like there is a whole new and great future ahead of me and us.

I also came to a realizations about how I've hurt her in the past. The long and the short of it is that I'm terrible about empathizing and listening to feelings, and my insecurities put me into a defensive mode rather than a supportive, listening, partner mode.

A week later, and I'm still buzzing, reflecting, discovering more emotional epiphanies, and REALLY looking forward to marriage counseling. However, I've also forced myself to keep all of this to myself and just start showing that I am growing by taking actions. It hasn't been the time to share any of this with her, especially because I've said a lot of words in the past about changing that never seemed to materialize. I knew that the right time would come.

And then, last night happened.

"I had a session with my therapist today. I've made the decision that we need to divorce."

Commence spiraling.

The first thing I said was: "Please, I'm begging you, go through the marriage counseling sessions with me."

She said "I will go to marriage counseling, but I'm only doing this for you."

I then decided to share with her all of the personal discoveries I've made and the growth journey I'm embarking on, how I've realized that I hurt her in the past when she needed me most, and how I'm committed to growing and working on myself and our relationship because I love her and I made that vow to her when we married. I told her that I realized finally what this heavy feeling in my heart is: it is the physical manifestation of love, and I know that because it hurts so much, and if it wouldn't hurt if there wasn't love.

She said she went through a similar process of pain and grieving last year (there's some really deep and heavy stuff that went down, in short, she discovered that her father was not her biological father; she started the journey of meeting her new family and my response at the time came from insecurity and jealousy). She said that she was done processing those emotions and that she has moved on and is focusing on herself and our 3 year old son.

She said that she loves me and cares about me, she even held me and hugged me. But that made it hurt even more. I feel like I am being led on.

I went for a walk to clear my head, and when I got home, she asked if I was okay, and I said "No. But I'm treating this as a challenge. Your love has always come easy and I've never had to fight for it. For the first time, I am going to actually fight to earn your love."

I didn't sleep last night. I decided to go into the office this morning to knock some stuff out early so I could take a personal day. On the way out the door, I asked her to promise something to me: I said "when we go to marriage counseling, please don't do it for me. Please do it for us. We've gone through so much together, we made vows to each other when we married that we would stick together through the good and the bad. Please, let's just give it one last ditch effort." She said "Okay."

This morning, some questions have started popping into my head, uninvited: "how will custody of our 3 year old work?" "Will I be removed from his life?" "Who's going to get the house?" -- and I'm really trying to remove those thoughts from my mind right now because I don't want to even entertain the possibility at this point. These are questions I never in a million years I thought I would be asking myself.

Now I'm at a coffee shop, typing this message. I have an emergency appointment with my therapist in a few hours, although I'm not sure what that will solve at this point.

I am questioning the very core, foundational things I thought I knew about myself. I am confused and lost and heartbroken.

I'm also not really sure why I'm sharing this message with you all. Perhaps because it is therapeutic to type all of this out, and perhaps I trust this community.