kfwyre's recent activity

  1. Comment on Are others finding themselves spending less and less time online? in ~tech

    kfwyre
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    For what it's worth (and I say this as someone with personal experience): depression can be so debilitating that you're literally unable to take actions that you know will benefit you. In my mid...

    For what it's worth (and I say this as someone with personal experience): depression can be so debilitating that you're literally unable to take actions that you know will benefit you.

    In my mid 20s I had a really bad period where I simply could not function outside of go-to-work-so-I-don't-lose-my-income-so-I-don't-get-evicted (and even in doing that I was like an automaton).

    I remember that my dishes piled up in my sink because I simply could not wash a single one. I quickly ran out of clean dishes to use so I stopped home-eating and just got take out/delivery constantly. My sink then started to smell, which I, of course, did nothing about until it started getting completely overpowering and possibly a health hazard, at which point I was somehow able to muster up enough resolve to throw everything a trash bag and toss them out.

    I didn't replace any of them. I don't even think I scrubbed or cleaned the sink itself afterwards.

    While this was happening, my car also broke down. I then bummed a ride off my coworker. I was, of course, completely unable to do anything about my car, and after maybe two weeks my coworker quietly let me know that she wasn't going to bring me to work anymore. I'd worn out my welcome with her good deed and was by then a complete burden to her. She was justifiably frustrated that I'd taken no steps to get my car fixed.

    This meant that I then had to walk about an hour each way to get to work. I know it sounds like that's "doing something" and would be more difficult than just, you know, getting my car fixed, but it only happened because of that automaton-like nature that I described earlier. I would walk to and from work and my mind was completely blank the whole time. I don't even remember doing it most of the time, despite the fact that I know I did it for weeks. It didn't feel like it was me doing it -- it felt like I was on autopilot. I didn't miss all that time taken out of my day because my days were meaningless anyway. Whether I was walking or at home I was in an interminable gray haze, so it didn't matter where or how I experienced it.

    A month or two later, I finally was able to call someone to come tow the car and take it in to fix it. The guy asked me if the car had been sitting idle for a while, because I guess that's bad for it and would affect how he diagnosed its issues. I remember lying and saying "maybe two weeks" because I was embarrassed that it had been probably four times that, and I didn't want to try to explain how even though I wanted the car fixed and I needed the car fixed, I simply couldn't do it. I knew there wasn't any explanation I could give that would make sense to him, even if it was the truth.

    I understand how, from an outside perspective, this is infuriating. You can't pick up a plate and wash it? It takes like, 10 seconds! You can't get someone to fix the car? It's ONE phone call.

    What I want people to understand about depression is that it is genuinely that powerful. It can completely deactivate and disable you, to the point where those 10 seconds and that one phone call are literally impossible for you. It doesn't necessarily stop you from knowing you should clean the plate, or wanting to clean the plate (though it certainly can) -- what it does is it completely stops you from being able to do so no matter what.

    One of my students once gave me a metaphor for it (which was all the more apt given my own experiences with my car):

    "People keep telling me I need to do something, but if there's no gas in a car, it's not going to move no matter what. There's no gas in my tank."

    It, to me, was the perfect summation of depression. From an outside perspective it's easy to get frustrated with the driver, but even if they're turning the key and putting their foot on the gas, the car simply isn't going anywhere.

    Depression is being stuck in that car.

    Also, being aware of this limitation often makes the depression worse. The disease already has you wallowing in despair and hopelessness. Then, it cuts off even your most basic functions, which further drives home its central thesis that things will never get better, that nothing will ever change, that life isn't worth living, etc. It's like an abuser isolating its victim and rendering them helpless.

    I say all of this not to override your frustration. In fact, I empathize with it, because I know that, in the throes of my depressions, I become a burden to people I'm close to and frustrate them. Sound advice doesn't land. Simple suggestions have no effect. Care and help are ignored and unappreciated. That is genuinely upsetting for someone who cares about someone with depression. What I want people to know is that the executive dysfunction that they're witnessing isn't necessarily a stubbornness or moral failing on the part of the person. It is, in fact, a symptom of the disorder itself.

    4 votes

  2. How rigid/fluid is your LGBT identity?

    ~lgbt Ask (survey)
    Is it static, or does it change? How does that feel to you? How does it play out in your day-to-day life? What thoughts do you have about rigidity/fluidity in general? (As always, I'm using LGBT...

    Is it static, or does it change?

    How does that feel to you?

    How does it play out in your day-to-day life?

    What thoughts do you have about rigidity/fluidity in general?

    (As always, I'm using LGBT as an umbrella term here, so this question applies to anyone with minority gender, sexual, or romantic identities)

    28 votes

  3. Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies

    kfwyre
    (edited )
    Link
    I normally only watch documentaries, but I'm trying to watch more movie movies. Here's what I've hit up recently: Project Hail Mary Loved the book. Loved the movie. It loses a lot of the science...

    I normally only watch documentaries, but I'm trying to watch more movie movies. Here's what I've hit up recently:

    Project Hail Mary

    Loved the book. Loved the movie. It loses some of a lot of the science in the transition to the screen, but it keeps the emotional core of the book and soars because of it.

    I still cried a lot even though I already knew what was going to happen!

    Companion

    I knew literally nothing about this except that it was mildly buzzy a while back and that the lead actress has blank eyes in the movie poster. I assumed that it was going to be about like, demonic possession or something.

    I'm glad I went in like that, because not even knowing the most basic part of its premise made this a fun and twisty ride. It felt like a solid Black Mirror episode (thought admittedly with a completely different tone).

    I Saw the TV Glow

    I don't think this is a movie for everyone or even most people, but for the thin slice of people for whom it's going to hit, it hits HARD. I'm one of those people.

    This is the best queer movie I've seen in a long time -- probably since Moonlight. Also, the coloring and lighting in this movie was next level. Nearly every scene was a visual treat.

    The Surrogate (2020)

    This movie is about a surrogate mother for a gay couple wanting to have a child. I watched this before the quite relevant recent news arose which gives the film, in my opinion, a far more striking resonance.

    I really liked this one as a character study. Everybody in the film feels a bit real and quite flawed. It's definitely a slow burn, so I'd only recommend it to someone looking for a human drama where people mostly just talk to each other. I also think that the film is trying to tell the story of these specific characters rather than trying to make a didactic statement about "the issues" in general, which I think is wise.

    And if we're talking documentaries, I should mention:

    Listers

    A feel-good stoner documentary about extreme birdwatching. Has a bit of a tough time with its tone, inviting you to empathize with and simultaneously laugh at birders, but also it's not that serious in the first place so even looking at it tonally is too much for what it's going for. Suffice it to say, I was entertained.

    2 votes

  4. Comment on Dolly Parton, country music legend, dies at 80 in ~music

    kfwyre
    Link Parent
    Everyone get your malice tags ready because I'm about to start a fight. IS THE MONA LISA JUST PAINT? WAS THE APOLLO SPACECRAFT JUST METAL? All jokes aside, I genuinely like both versions of the...

    To me, Whitney's version is just yelling

    Everyone get your malice tags ready because I'm about to start a fight. IS THE MONA LISA JUST PAINT? WAS THE APOLLO SPACECRAFT JUST METAL?

    All jokes aside, I genuinely like both versions of the song separately -- specifically because they have such different feels.

    11 votes

  5. Comment on Are others finding themselves spending less and less time online? in ~tech

    kfwyre
    Link Parent
    I actually toyed with changing the name away from “Screenless Day” because it’s a touch misleading, but I couldn’t come up with anything that I liked (I’m open to suggestions!). I see it as being...

    I actually toyed with changing the name away from “Screenless Day” because it’s a touch misleading, but I couldn’t come up with anything that I liked (I’m open to suggestions!).

    I see it as being more about intentionality than anything else. Use the tech; don’t let the tech use you — that sort of thing.

    Like, if queueing up music on your phone helps you focus and do what you want to, then that’s not toxic and isn’t something you need to deliberately route around for a Screenless Day.

    Or, maybe, for a Screenless Day you decide that you want to be more deliberate and focused about your music so you choose an album or two to really pay attention to and dive into, instead of shuffling songs as background for something else.

    It’s all about reflecting on your individual relationship with tech (which you’re already doing!) and trying to make it better.

    4 votes

  6. Comment on Are others finding themselves spending less and less time online? in ~tech

    kfwyre
    Link Parent
    Of course! I’m going to put up an official announcement topic on Tuesday, September 1 to spread the word and build the notification list, but I’m happy to start taking names here too as well.

    Of course!

    I’m going to put up an official announcement topic on Tuesday, September 1 to spread the word and build the notification list, but I’m happy to start taking names here too as well.

    6 votes

  7. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    kfwyre
    (edited )
    Link
    I nominated the OG NES Metroid for CGA last year, and it got eliminated in our last round of voting. So, I finally picked it up myself to try it out. I hate to say it, but it is ROUGH by modern...

    I nominated the OG NES Metroid for CGA last year, and it got eliminated in our last round of voting. So, I finally picked it up myself to try it out.

    I hate to say it, but it is ROUGH by modern standards.

    Like, the pieces of the metroidvania are there: sprawling map, powerups that let you access new areas of the map, backtracking through previously played areas with new powers, etc.

    Unfortunately, it's tough for me to look past some of the "of the time" decisions, and I say that as someone who's generally a fan of retro games and their limitations.

    The biggest issue to me is the slowdown. Seemingly any time there are multiple enemies on screen, the game crawls. It inhibits flow SEVERELY.

    Another annoyance is that, if you start a jump without any direction on the d-pad, you don't get air control. I learned to work around this, but it's another flow-inhibitor and makes an already laggy game feel even more limited.

    Add to this a lack of modern QoL features (e.g. there's no map) and very old-school game design and I found the game more frustrating than not. Enemies are constantly bothering you, and the game's very limited aiming enhances their annoyance.

    That said, I play metroidvania games for the exploration and not the combat, so after frustratedly fighting my way through parts of it, I ended up turning on an invincibility cheat so that I could sail right by the enemies and explore the world.

    This is where I learned that the game is mostly a series of samey long-linear hallways and vertical shafts. I ended up getting bored and stopping it.

    I know I'm ragging on it a lot, but that's from a "things have come so far since" perspective. If I think of it as an NES game in its original context (my first console), it's very impressive. It's high-concept and big and fits right in with the other "Nintendo hard" games of its era. I can see why it's held in high esteem and why it's half of a genre name today.

    But, playing it today with full knowledge of all the other metroidvanias we have out there now and how they've iterated on the formula was an exercise in frustration. I'm glad it tried it out, but I had no interest in seeing it all the way through to the end. I'm genuinely glad it didn't get picked up for CGA, because I think it would have ended up being a disappointment to most.

    4 votes

  8. What are we in a golden age of?

    ~talk Ask (survey)
    I don't normally give my own examples for my own questions, but for this one I think it'll help with clarity for what I'm trying to get at: I mentioned recently that we're in a golden age of N64...

    I don't normally give my own examples for my own questions, but for this one I think it'll help with clarity for what I'm trying to get at:

    I mentioned recently that we're in a golden age of N64 decompilations/recompilations with several high-profile games getting releases that make them run on modern machines with huge quality of life upgrades, and many more in the works (one for Extreme-G just came out two days ago).

    I know that, with everything going on seemingly everywhere in the world right now, it can be difficult to think of things in terms of abundance and prosperity, but I also think there's a lot of it around if we look for it, especially in niche corners.

    52 votes

  9. Comment on PS3 emulator RPCS3 now supports online trophies through its own PlayStation Network replacement in ~games

    kfwyre
    Link

    Your RPCS3 trophies are now synchronised with the network when you boot a game with RPCN enabled, our PSN network replacement.

    All RPCN account management is done through the RPCS3 emulator itself. The website contains no registration or account management features.

    To create an account, click on the RPCN button on the RPCS3’s toolbar, then click “Account” -> “Create Account”, pick an username, email, and password. Then activate your account using the token that is sent to your email.

    After you are logged into your account, you can use the “Edit Account” button to resend your token, modify your password, or delete your account if you wish to do so.

    6 votes

  11. Comment on Are others finding themselves spending less and less time online? in ~tech

    kfwyre
    Link
    Shameless plug: I will be bringing back Screenless Days this coming month! Big thanks to @monarda for requesting it! For those that weren't around for them: The simplest way to participate is to...

    Shameless plug: I will be bringing back Screenless Days this coming month!

    Big thanks to @monarda for requesting it!

    For those that weren't around for them:

    Tildes' "Screenless Day" is a simple event aimed at encouraging people to take a temporary step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology and spend their time and energies elsewhere.

    The simplest way to participate is to put away your phone, close the laptop, etc.

    That said, going "screenless" is not a hard rule:

    "Screenless" is an ideal, not a mandate. The spirit of the day is to deliberately step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology, and what that means is different for each person. Thus, it is up to each participant to determine what "screenless" means to them. Some might only choose to not use social media for a day; some might choose to eliminate all "screens" but still use their ereader; some may maintain some screen use but only for necessity (e.g. work; classes; GPS; etc.). Some might get rid of screens entirely, or go fully "unplugged" for the day.

    So, if someone wants to learn to crochet, and they spend the day with YouTube tutorials and Ravelry patterns on their tablet, that still "counts" for Screenless Day.

    It's about stepping away from toxic tech rather than eradicating tech altogether.

    I'll be putting up the topics on the First Friday of each month (so we'll officially start on this coming September 4th), with the idea that people choose a day that weekend (whichever works best for them) to participate. Of course, people are not limited to that and can take a Screenless Day whenever they like. The discussion post will be up for the month.

    15 votes

  12. Comment on Webcomic of the author's experience in an abusive school that was a part of the Troubled Teens Industry in ~life

    kfwyre
    Link
    I read through this a while ago and am glad to see that it’s now available in book form. I might pick up a copy, though I honestly doubt I’ll go back and re-read it. For anyone who’s interested in...

    I read through this a while ago and am glad to see that it’s now available in book form. I might pick up a copy, though I honestly doubt I’ll go back and re-read it.

    For anyone who’s interested in this, I can also recommend the docuseries The Program which was made by a group of adults who were forced to go to a similar “school” as kids.

    8 votes

  13. Comment on Book banning: Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl in ~society

    kfwyre
    Link
    In some good news, several states have passed laws aimed at curbing book banning efforts. Massachusetts just recently passed one and it's noteworthy for "limit[ing] who can initiate a challenge to...

    In some good news, several states have passed laws aimed at curbing book banning efforts.

    Massachusetts just recently passed one and it's noteworthy for "limit[ing] who can initiate a challenge to school staff or parents, guardians, and students, who reside in the city or town where the library is located." Essentially it requires someone to have "standing" to attempt to ban the book, which cuts down on their primary tactic of having a small group of dedicated individuals push for numerous and sweeping bans across the country.

    8 votes

  14. Comment on RomM: an open source, self-hosted emulation platform in ~games

    kfwyre
    Link Parent
    I laughed, but also, honest question: am I even using "cloud" correctly here? Like, is saying "self-hosted" and "cloud" redundant? Or the opposite: does something that's "self-hosted" even qualify...

    I laughed, but also, honest question: am I even using "cloud" correctly here?

    Like, is saying "self-hosted" and "cloud" redundant? Or the opposite: does something that's "self-hosted" even qualify as "cloud"? I genuinely don't know.

    2 votes

  15. Comment on Afterplay: a cloud emulation platform in ~games

    kfwyre
    Link Parent
    Yeah, I have similar concerns. Part of me is like “that’s not allowed!” but then part of me knows you can search [game name] ROM and find dozens of longstanding websites each hosting every...

    Yeah, I have similar concerns.

    Part of me is like “that’s not allowed!” but then part of me knows you can search [game name] ROM and find dozens of longstanding websites each hosting every conceivable game you could think of and providing them for public distribution. Somehow those stay up too?

    For Afterplay, it might be one of those “it doesn’t really get enforced” situations, or they might be able to do it simply because they’re operating in a “bring your own files” capacity.

    I found an interview with the creator where he alludes to that idea:

    Afterplay doesn’t provide ROMs, but does provide cloud storage for user-uploaded ROMs. What do you think about the legal line you’re walking?

    Patrick: I’d push back gently on the idea of a line, because the pieces are all pretty well established. The emulator and the games are two separate things, and emulation itself has been legal and well understood for a long time.

    We don’t provide ROMs at all. The storage side works like any other cloud service: you upload your own files, and you’re responsible for what you put there, the same as Dropbox or Google Drive. And everything we actually sell is properly licensed, real deals with real publishers.

    One thing that does help sell me on the platform’s legitimacy is their indie game storefront. I imagine that devs and publishers wouldn’t want to touch something like this if they knew it was a legal landmine. Admittedly though, this might just be wishful thinking on my part since I’m liking the service and hope it will stick around.

    5 votes

  16. Comment on RomM: an open source, self-hosted emulation platform in ~games

    kfwyre
    Link
    I posted about Afterplay here, which is a paid rom emulation platform. Meanwhile, this one is for those that prefer an open-source DIY version of the same concept. I haven’t used it so I can’t...

    Scan, enrich, browse and play your ROM collection from one beautiful & free self-hosted app. Metadata from 10+ providers, save sync across your devices, and support for over 400 platforms.

    I posted about Afterplay here, which is a paid rom emulation platform.

    Meanwhile, this one is for those that prefer an open-source DIY version of the same concept.

    I haven’t used it so I can’t recommend it personally, but I know we have a lot of people here with the knowhow to use something like this.

    6 votes

  18. Comment on Afterplay: a cloud emulation platform in ~games

    kfwyre
    (edited )
    Link
    I just tried this out and am very impressed. I got it working on my Linux desktop, the web, my Steam Deck*, and my phone. As much as I adore my beloved RetroDECK, it being on just my Steam Deck...

    Your library and saves sync across iOS, Android, desktop, and the browser. Multiplayer with voice and video chat, a store of indie games, and 30+ consoles.

    I just tried this out and am very impressed. I got it working on my Linux desktop, the web, my Steam Deck*, and my phone.

    As much as I adore my beloved RetroDECK, it being on just my Steam Deck can be a bit limiting. Sometimes I want to play retro games on my phone or PC too! Up until now, I’ve just kept things separate.

    That said, the further I go in life, the more I appreciate the convenience of hardware-agnostic solutions. I have this with my reading setup via BookFusion and now potentially my emulation setup via Afterplay.

    I’ve only played around with it for a bit, but it’s quite feature rich. It’ll automatically match BIOSes and ROM files, putting them where they need to go and downloading their metadata and whatnot. The UX is great on mouse & keyboard, though it could use some controller-specific improvements for the Deck (though you can just use the touchscreen like a mouse and that works fine). It even supports RetroAchievements, which I love.

    Also, you don’t play the games themselves via streaming. When you launch a title it instead downloads the rom and emulator directly to your device, so they’re actually running natively (which is good for input lag).

    One thing I really like about it is that it has an official homebrew store. So, right from the app you can buy titles from indie devs who make their own games for old consoles.

    I can’t give a full endorsement since I’ve only just tried it out, but I plan to stick with it for a bit (I already plunked down the $25 for the yearly subscription). It can’t fully replace RetroDECK since there are a lot of systems I play there that aren’t available here (pretty much Dreamcast and beyond). But I do love the idea of being able to game on my phone while waiting for an appointment then pick up where I left off from my Deck (and vice versa).

    If anyone’s curious and wants me to test anything out, let me know and I’m happy to do so.

    *Steam Deck Note: The AppImage wouldn’t run for me when added to Steam directly. I had to install Gear Lever which then “installs” the AppImage itself. Once I did this, I was able to add Afterplay to Steam and have it run correctly in Game Mode.

    6 votes

  20. Comment on Easily discover partner libraries with new Libby update in ~books

    kfwyre
    (edited )
    Link
    This is awesome! I have several available to me. Now, it would be really cool if they incorporate libraries with paid non-resident cards right into the app. I used to subscribe to Houston’s and...

    This is awesome! I have several available to me.

    Now, it would be really cool if they incorporate libraries with paid non-resident cards right into the app. I used to subscribe to Houston’s and Fairfax’s libraries (and maybe Brooklyn? I can’t remember), but managing my accounts and renewing them was a pain. If I could do it right in Libby though…

    2 votes