deathinactthree's recent activity
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Comment on Accessible forms of poetry for journaling? in ~creative
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Comment on How much of an echo chamber is Reddit/the internet, really? in ~tech
deathinactthree LinkI'm of the personal opinion that it's a "yes but also no" kind of thing. For people like you that are outside of the US, one of the things that tends to get lost in the conversation literally just...I'm of the personal opinion that it's a "yes but also no" kind of thing.
For people like you that are outside of the US, one of the things that tends to get lost in the conversation literally just how physically big the US actually is. It's entirely possible to live in the middle of nowhere and not have these things affect you very much beyond possibly the cost of gas and groceries. It's all stuff you simply don't see very often in your own personal life, even if you traveled 500 miles in any direction from your home. Seriously. So all of it can seem quite a bit alarmist if you're in that kind of situation: you don't know any trans people, probably very few gay people, don't interact much with the immigrant population, etc etc. You might grumble about the recent price of fuel or bananas but you also just sort of assume that it's all temporary and will be switched out with the next administration and just carry on going to your job and spending time with your family. Because, for a large chunk of the US, atomized as we are, that's the way it's been our entire lives. Stuff gets better, stuff gets worse, the cycle goes round and round but your own life is more or less the same on balance.
On the other hand, for people like me who live in a major metropolitan area, this stuff is all much more immediate. I know a lot of trans people, gay people, disabled people, minorities, or any combination of the above in my personal life for whom the policies of the current administration are disastrous. I know people that have been harassed by ICE or the police. I know people who can't get the critical health care that they need that they used to be able to get just 2 years ago, whether it's because they simply can no longer afford it, or it's been outlawed entirely. I live in one of the most ethnically diverse ZIP codes in the country, so when ICE shows up, we come out to protest not just because it's a principle but because families are being attacked, split up, and arrested right in front of you. So are the protesters.
For a lot of people in my immediate orbit, it's an actual crisis, not just something you see in a 2 minute package on the evening local news. For us, it's not just watching two sports teams spar it out from a distance, it's stuff that we deal with every day. It's on our doorstep.
The distance between the first group and the second is pretty vast, literally. People in the first group could easily be 1500 miles from anyone in the second group and never interact. As a result, the first group sees a bunch of echo chambers in the news and online, and I can't even judge them for that (though I admit I do, a little). The second group needs the awareness and solidarity and channels to organize. If that makes sense.
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Comment on What’s something that didn’t work for you? in ~talk
deathinactthree Link ParentUnfortunately nowhere yet--turns out it takes forever to get a machine. For context, I originally started this process back in December. Couldn't get the initial consultation until March. Didn't...Unfortunately nowhere yet--turns out it takes forever to get a machine.
For context, I originally started this process back in December. Couldn't get the initial consultation until March. Didn't get the actual home sleep study kit until June 1st. My follow-up where I learn if I can actually get a CPAP is next week. Who knows how long after that to actually be able to pick up a machine, much less learn how it'll work for me.
It's been frustrating. Hoping it's worth it.
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Comment on Skywind update 2026: the road continued in ~games
deathinactthree (edited )LinkMan--I am still cynical enough to doubt I'll ever get to play this, but the progress and high quality are truly impressive. Not to mention the professionalism of how it's presented. I would kill...Man--I am still cynical enough to doubt I'll ever get to play this, but the progress and high quality are truly impressive.
Not to mention the professionalism of how it's presented. I would kill for the sales or project teams at any of my past jobs to be able to deliver information this well-organized and succinct.
EDIT: Oh, they still need writers for the expansions. I think I'm going to apply.
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Comment on What was the best job you ever had? in ~life
deathinactthree LinkDefinitely the one I have right now, but I don't want to jinx it so I'll instead say it's a tie between two other jobs from the distant past: First was delivering pizzas in southern Vermont....Definitely the one I have right now, but I don't want to jinx it so I'll instead say it's a tie between two other jobs from the distant past:
First was delivering pizzas in southern Vermont. Manchester Center is literally a one-stoplight town that was basically a stopping place for skiiers on their way to Mt. Snow, and at that one stoplight was a mom-and-pop pizza place that I spent a long summer working at between college semesters. The pizza was the best I've ever had before or since, and as I was basically the only delivery driver, I took every order out and got paid to drive around the beautiful Green Mountains listening to music and audiobooks.
The pay was ridiculously good for a 19-year-old--the Greek family that owned the place paid way higher than minimum wage, and tips from deliveries were always crazy generous because it was kind of a rich area. I got along with my boss and my coworkers the latter of which I hung out socially with. I tended to work a lot of hours because there wasn't much else to do in rural Vermont at a time when residential Internet wasn't widely available yet, but I spent my spare time reading a lot, lifting a lot, and learning to ride and repair motorcycles. I would regularly ride my motorcycle to Saratoga Springs, about a 30-40 minute trip, to visit the bookshops and coffeehouses there.
Not everything about that chapter of my life was great, which is a long story, but I'm still very glad for that time because I learned a lot about myself, got in the best shape of my life, and came away with skills and knowledge and a very literal fat sack of cash (I didn't have a bank account or credit cards at that time) I didn't have when I arrived.
The second was a few years after that, which was being a coffee roaster while I was still working my way through college and grad school. The pay was absolute garbage, below minimum wage because I was salaried at a number that would be considered part-time but easily worked 50 hours a week. I always said ,"I hate the job, but love the work."
After initially learning the basics of roasting coffee, I took to it like a duck to water, and studied it as in-depth as I could. I drilled constantly with Le Nez kits and cupping to develop my palate, read every trade publication, read lots of books on the science and chemistry of coffee, took several notebooks' worth of my own notes and research that I still have a quarter century later. I absolutely loved roasting coffee on the specific machine we had, a 12k Samiac metal drum roaster, and I've only worked on one I like almost as well since.
I was also entirely responsible for our wholesale business so I'd stopped doing barista shifts in FOH (though for the record I actually enjoy barista work), so I was left completely alone all day if I wanted it. Half of my typical day was roasting and the other half prepping ship-outs to out-of-town accounts and delivery-driving to local accounts. Time in-between tasks was spent working on my graduate manuscripts and thesis or posting on Livejournal or Something Awful. It could be extremely hectic but except for the pay, I found it very fulfilling, and the shop was extremely successful as a result.
Worth saying here that I later on owned my own coffeeshop but since I was my own employer I'm not sure if it counts for this question.
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Comment on What’s something that didn’t work for you? in ~talk
deathinactthree Link ParentThis has been worrying me for a bit. I have sleep apnea that's been getting steadily worse over the last few years, to the point that I go to bed at 10pm and my alarm is set for 8:30am because I...This has been worrying me for a bit. I have sleep apnea that's been getting steadily worse over the last few years, to the point that I go to bed at 10pm and my alarm is set for 8:30am because I have to give myself a ~10-hour window to hopefully get maybe 6 hours of total sleep. I've tried every single off-the-shelf solution and nothing helped even slightly.
It took forever to schedule but I'm finally getting a sleep study on June 1st, which is a requirement in order to be able to get a CPAP machine, which my doctor is pretty certain I need (but, importantly, doesn't think I need surgery). But I'm half-convinced it's actually not going to do much and the effort and expense will have been wasted. The reasons for this are varied, but the biggest one is that I cannot stand to have anything touching my face that isn't my pillow when I sleep, and I'm probably going to end up constantly clawing it off in my sleep. I'm going to try it anyway, because I don't want to risk it being something helpful that I didn't do. I, too, look forward to a possibility of being able to get a little extra time each day and having more energy, which is a major issue for me. I dunno though.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #3: What country were you born in? (Results) in ~talk
deathinactthree Link ParentFor the record I just now tried it and still no. Ftr, might be on my side.For the record I just now tried it and still no. Ftr, might be on my side.
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Comment on Questions for ~books on self promotion in ~books
deathinactthree LinkAs someone who's promoting his own wife's self-published books (as an otherwise successful midlist author) as of 4 weeks ago: I don't think it's a sin as long as you don't abuse it but I legit...As someone who's promoting his own wife's self-published books (as an otherwise successful midlist author) as of 4 weeks ago: I don't think it's a sin as long as you don't abuse it but I legit think it won't move the needle here specifically. It's up to SEO and marketing.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #3: What country were you born in? (Results) in ~talk
deathinactthree LinkSurvey's not loading for me for some reason but: born in SE Tennessee, currently living in Seattle. The difference is...bracing. In a good way.Survey's not loading for me for some reason but: born in SE Tennessee, currently living in Seattle. The difference is...bracing. In a good way.
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Comment on I don't "get" soulslikes, but I'm interested in Bloodborne in ~games
deathinactthree Link ParentFor sure, until you hit PvP in Oolacile. My Onion Samurai build (Catarina helmet, Crimson Skirt, Havel Gauntlets, no chest, Chaos Blade, Dark Hand on the left with an Uchi backup) wrecked a lot of...For sure, until you hit PvP in Oolacile. My Onion Samurai build (Catarina helmet, Crimson Skirt, Havel Gauntlets, no chest, Chaos Blade, Dark Hand on the left with an Uchi backup) wrecked a lot of overconfident Giant and Lightning Dads.
But for PvE it's largely unmatched.
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Comment on I don't "get" soulslikes, but I'm interested in Bloodborne in ~games
deathinactthree Link ParentAgreed that heavy weapons, which can be good in any Souls to be clear, really shine in DKS2. I first beat the game with two bog-standard +10 maces powerstanced. Nothing withstood the basic bonk...Agreed that heavy weapons, which can be good in any Souls to be clear, really shine in DKS2. I first beat the game with two bog-standard +10 maces powerstanced. Nothing withstood the basic bonk and poise breakage. I just steamrolled through it and didn't use Focus at all. I was taking everyone to the International House of Pancakes.
That said it's a little overshadowed in DKS2 by powerstanced daggers. Absolutely absurd DPS and versatility, beat the game on my second (of many) run with just those. Almost broken honestly. A shame that's the only Souls where an early dagger build is not only viable, but the best thing going.
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Comment on A 24-year-old Frenchman shows up at hospital with a World War I shell lodged in his rectum in ~health
deathinactthree LinkRectum? Damn near killed 'im! (...sorry, I'll show myself out.)Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!
(...sorry, I'll show myself out.)
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Comment on What's the coolest thrift store find you've ever scored? in ~talk
deathinactthree Link ParentCool, thanks. I'll take a look at these.Cool, thanks. I'll take a look at these.
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Comment on What's the coolest thrift store find you've ever scored? in ~talk
deathinactthree Link ParentPossibly, though I don't know how it would be done without damaging the book, and except for the red X on the cover the book is physically in good shape for its age. Not saying it can't be done,...Possibly, though I don't know how it would be done without damaging the book, and except for the red X on the cover the book is physically in good shape for its age. Not saying it can't be done, only that I personally am not sure what method to use.
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Comment on What's the coolest thrift store find you've ever scored? in ~talk
deathinactthree LinkThere's a used bookshop in my hometown (McKay) that had a bin out front of books they couldn't sell. They'd draw an X in red marker on the cover to indicate they were worthless. In that bin, I...There's a used bookshop in my hometown (McKay) that had a bin out front of books they couldn't sell. They'd draw an X in red marker on the cover to indicate they were worthless.
In that bin, I found a first edition 193X hardback version (of that version) of the essays of Montaigne, with illustrations by Salvador Dali.
I keep wanting to frame some of the illustrations but it feels like a crime, even now after 30 years.
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Comment on How do you want to define 2026 for yourself? in ~talk
deathinactthree LinkComing into 2025, I started a new job that December/January that gave me a very comfortable wage and doesn't take very much effort to do, and was completely remote with no travel so I've spent...Coming into 2025, I started a new job that December/January that gave me a very comfortable wage and doesn't take very much effort to do, and was completely remote with no travel so I've spent this whole year with a mountain of free time.
...which was my 2025 New Year's resolution to completely waste.
Thing is, up until January 2025 I've spent nearly 15 years working in marketing-agency turbohell: 12- to 14-hour days were common, I was effectively on-call 24/7, I was traveling around the country for work or client pitches constantly, the pressure and stress of managing departments and always being overbooked on clients was such that it had significant medical consequences for me over the last couple of years. I was good at my career and made a good living, and at times I even enjoyed it--but it meant pretty much giving up all the hobbies I used to have, the gym, any kind of reasonable diet. I became overweight, had to take blood pressure medication and nerve blockers, and was mainlining caffeine and cigarettes every day because it was rare that I got more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night.
So when I moved to this recent role where I suddenly had almost no responsibility and almost complete freedom, I made it my number-one goal to relearn boredom. A decade-plus of stress-induced anxiety meant that on rare occasions I momentarily had no demands on my time, I would get itchy and nervous...in my line of work, any period of quiet means there's a disaster happening somewhere that no one's told you about yet. So I wouldn't use that time to read, or play games, or go to the gym--I'd just go back to my desk and check and re-check everything trying to get ahead of the next emergency. I was never, ever off the clock.
This year, I made it a goal to set no goals whatsoever. To not try to cram a whole bunch of activities with ambitious targets like reading X number of books, or losing Y amount of weight, etc., but instead take things easy and burn off my habit of viewing any free time as enemy because it meant something somewhere wasn't getting done. I'd read books or watch a movie or play games or go to the gym, but only when and how much I felt like it. If I felt like sitting and staring at the wall, then fuck it, let's pick a wall.
It's been good for me. It did take most of the year before I felt comfortable in myself doing nothing and not feeling like I was "wasting valuable time", but now I can sit with my thoughts for a while and I don't get anxious. I did read 5 books, which is more books than I've read in the last 5 years. I saw a bunch of movies I'd never had the chance to get around to. I finished half a dozen games from my Steam backlog. I chipped in a lot more on housework and yardwork. I switched to a minimalist gym program in Q1 and it's been easy to keep with it--I haven't lost a single pound but I've recomped a fair amount and am physically stronger than I've been in years. I'm still overweight and still a smoker, but despite attempting and failing to make improvements on those fronts I'm deliberately not beating myself up about it. No goals, after all.
So now that this year of "vacation" is over, I'm looking to define 2026 by finding what's on the other side of refindng myself. I always knew that this easy, well-paying job I currently have was too good to expect to last not much more than a year, a fact that was confirmed this past week by my boss who said "we're going to ride this train as long as we can, but starting now I recommend making sure your savings are robust". So, fine. I don't want to go back to the misery grinder of agency life, so exploring career options will be a thing. I'm not going to set a target, but I do plan to actively start losing weight and finally quit my daily smoking habit. Beyond that I have no resolutions. 2026 will be defined as a proper, major self-reset, in service of being ready for--and then going to find--whatever the next chapter of my life is going to be. It may be better or worse, but my only real desire right now is that this next chapter doesn't look anything like the previous one.
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Comment on Are you still using social media? in ~tech
deathinactthree LinkI gave up on almost all social media a long time ago, but not entirely: Reddit - I'm a little active on Reddit but I have a very narrow subscription list of niche subs and one kebble sub and I...I gave up on almost all social media a long time ago, but not entirely:
- Reddit - I'm a little active on Reddit but I have a very narrow subscription list of niche subs and one kebble sub and I don't really stray from them, so I actually miss a lot of the worst tendencies on there. And I use RES so everything is organized as a simple link list like Tildes is and I never see ads. So I still enjoy it enough to stay--my experience there these days isn't really that different from Tildes.
- Bluesky - I have a Bluesky lurker account to follow some funny and smart people. I use extensive block lists, and I don't actively participate. I glance at it most days but not for very long, it's a "bathroom" app for me, something I can idly scroll to kill a few minutes when I don't have time for anything else. I just read a few jokes or skim an article link and that's pretty much it.
That's it. And to a lesser degree, two sites that I have accounts on but don't really consider to be social media:
- LinkedIn - I despise LinkedIn but I keep my profile updated because as I recently said elsewhere it's necessary for my career. Can't say it hasn't been helpful for that, but I don't participate in the "social" parts at all so I don't really count this for the question as I only log into it a few times a year to update my resume or respond to a recruiter reaching out about a job opportunity.
- YouTube - I also don't count YouTube because I'm only there to watch videos and I use an extension that hides the comment section, there's no social participation for me at all, even to passively view. To me it's just a video streaming service.
In the past I've variously tried out LiveJournal (deleted in 2008), Facebook (deleted 2012), Twitter (deleted 2022), and Mastodon (deleted 2023). I haven't even tried anything else like Insta or Snap or Tiktok or Pinterest, I have zero desire for any of it. I do still stick my head in some old-school-style forums occasionally, of which I think of Tildes as one vs. modern social media, and I have a couple of private Slack groups that I'm active in daily but both are just small circles of close-knit friends.
So as someone who was optimistic about the idea of social media in the mid-2000s and got a lot out of it at the time, I've gradually restricted my online footprint to severely limit my visibility or participation in it because of all the reasons listed in the video: it doesn't connect like-minded people to each other anymore, it's just an algorithmic content hose that's surveillance PaaS for advertising.
I have a solid number of friends in my social circle that I met in the earliest days of social media, most of them through LiveJournal which I was highly active on for years before the SUP buyout chased me off. I could name 5 people off the top of my head that I talk to daily here in 2025 that I met just via LJ around 20 years ago. That idea--that you can talk to a stranger or a group of strangers on a social media platform and get to know them so well that they end up attending your wedding, which literally happened--seems completely absurd now, almost dangerous. There's no real value proposition to the "social" part of social media anymore, so I largely avoid it.
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Comment on How to get found by recruiters on LinkedIn in ~tech
deathinactthree Link ParentI work in a field where LinkedIn isn't strictly required per se, but having an updated and optimized profile is the difference between you sending out 1000 applications with few or no callbacks...I work in a field where LinkedIn isn't strictly required per se, but having an updated and optimized profile is the difference between you sending out 1000 applications with few or no callbacks and recruiters hitting you up about once a month with opportunities when you're not even looking yet. Not every field is like this, certainly, but for a lot of tech and tech-adjacent areas it's very important to maintain an active(ish) profile.
I don't like LinkedIn at all, and I resent a little bit that in my career it's pretty much the only place you can rely on for recruiters to ever know you exist, and I resent a lot that it takes a nontrivial amount of time to ensure your profile is optimized to whatever the keyword meta is this year--not least because the UX is cumbersome as hell. The "social" aspect is godawful, the few rare times I scan my feed (usually by accident as I'm checking my direct messages or friend requests) I want to put bleach in my eyes. I never post except maybe once a year where I'm boosting something related to my job, I will occasionaly hit an emoji button on a post from an industry colleague that I actually like, I otherwise avoid my news feed entirely. I'm not necessarily disagreeing with the linked blog post at all, but I don't personally mess with being a wide-eyed, font-of-positivity, grind-hustle-lifestyle influencer.
But I'm serious when I say that I have not actively applied to a single job since my career started in 2006, and pretty much every role came from a recruiter cold-contacting me from LinkedIn when I wasn't even looking for a move yet from my existing job. (The rest just came through conventional networking.) I do focus on industry-related keywords and update them about twice a year, and I make sure my experience only lists my role title and a bulleted list of accomplishments, i.e., "what did I do during my time there that proved this company was lucky to have me".
I don't really have a specific argument here, I'm just offering a counterpoint as someone who basically would not have a career without LinkedIn. Whether I like it or not. And I don't! :V
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Comment on Do you feel like you’ve had many lives so far? Why, why not? Which? in ~life
deathinactthree LinkDefinitely feel like my life is marked by eras. Some longer than others, some I'd consider "micro-eras"--my life and the kind of person I was were significantly different at the ages of 17-18 than...Definitely feel like my life is marked by eras. Some longer than others, some I'd consider "micro-eras"--my life and the kind of person I was were significantly different at the ages of 17-18 than any of the 5 years before or after that 2-year period. My one summer spent living in Vermont, maybe 4 months, was an era unto itself. Same with the following summer I spent in Detroit.
The easiest way to split them is by geographic changes, as they usually coincide--or, arguably the cause of, though I'd say that's not strictly accurate--with my personal changes in everything from how I looked, how I dressed, what kind of jobs I worked, the kinds of people I associated with, and even my modes of speech (I have that thing where I subconsciously absorb accents very quickly).
0-16 was all basically the same despite the usual upheavals that come with your parents divorcing, getting moved around, and generally growing through and out of a childhood spent in extreme poverty. It wasn't a happy time. I only have maybe 3 pictures of that entire period and I never look at them. The more about it that I forget, the better off I am.
17-18 was an insanely chaotic time unique to itself. I hit my growth spurt just ahead of it, got in incredible physical shape (ah, the ease of youth), had my first relationship and felt "true love" for the first time, watched it burn out, dated around a lot after that, learned pottery and painting, read the classics voraciously as I pretentiously fancied myself an intellectual. Gained a love of specialty coffee which is relevant later and hung out constantly in the 90s cafe culture that seems like such an artifact out of time now. I still miss it. I was someone I probably would not like at all now if I'm being honest, and I cannot honestly say those were halcyon days at all, but there was that exciting vibrancy of finally starting to feel comfortable in your own skin at the same time as everything you "seek out in love and art" is brand new to you and therefore thrillingly novel. Because you're still young and dumb and don't know anything, heh. This was not at all the best or most important period of my life but I realized as I was typing that I just felt like saying something about it I guess...these days in my old age I don't have any reason to discuss it or think about it much in other contexts, but it was the first time in my life that I truly started to feel a distinct sense of self, rough and ephemeral though it was.
That said, I just realized I'm going to bore all of you and myself if I try going through every period, so I'll quickly say:
My college years were punctuated by the periods in Vermont and Detroit but both summers actually had little impact on anything before or after them. They were "pocket lives" in both cases and although plenty of interesting stuff happened that are stories for another day, they were essentially bottle episodes.
Otherwise college years were defined by a lot of struggling emotionally and financially but also meeting my best friend and my wife, learning to roast coffee professionally, and starting my still-going love affair with martial arts which literally turned me into a completely different person. Grad school cost me a fortune in student loans but it was a great experience and I'd do nothing differently there. But still, in those days I was mostly discontent and restless and anxious about my future, overworked and underpaid and desperately wanting out of my hometown, so 25-year-old me would be very surprised and not a little annoyed that 50-year-old me now looks back on that period with a lot of fondness.
In 2006 I graduated with my Master's degree, got married, moved to Seattle, and got hired into the first job of my now-career all within a 6-month period. '06 to '12 was absolutely what I'd consider the halcyon days, easily the happiest period of my life before or since. I was getting established in my career that I turned out to be quite good at, I separately (side business) finally realized my dream of owning and running a popular coffeehouse and roastery, I advanced enough in martial arts that I ran my own school next door to the cafe for several years, my wife's creative career took off. We had plenty of money (not rich, just my first-ever taste of financial security), interesting work, fulfilling hobbies, a great circle of friends. I have more bar stories of that period of time than of any other stage of my life, to the point that more than once I've been told I was suspected of making it up. But it was the one era of my life in which I frequently felt joy, was present for it and aware of it, and grateful to be aware.
So of course there was going to be a downfall. We ended up deciding to move back to my hometown because we finally had enough money to afford buying a house, but Seattle property values were already getting out of reach. This kills the cat. It was an awful mistake for my mental and physical health that in some ways I'm still paying for, despite the fact that we moved back to Seattle five years later because I hated living in the South so much even though our material conditions were significantly better than when we first left. It was a very dark time for me personally. That was definitely its own era, and easily the worst one, to the point that I don't even really want to talk about it this much. A period of severe alcoholism was a result, now resolved. A smoking habit was also a result, not at all resolved. I absolutely hate the person I was then and I would love to forget it all but I must force myself not to, to carry the picture of it in my mind, to remind myself how bad things can get and the importance of choosing and actively pursuing joy in what time remains to me.
Which brings us to the current era, thrown off a bit by the pandemic, but broadly consistent. Well-established in my career but out of the coffee business now probably forever. Materially very comfortable as a result of that career, but with still a lot of anxiety about the future due to gestures around at everything. Still studying martial arts but at nowhere near the same intensity as when I was 25, because I simply can't anymore, my fighting days are over although I'm largely okay with that. Good friends around me but I also don't go out as much. Basically settling into middle age.
The life I'm living now is much calmer, more quiet, slightly wiser, and with people and personal habits both good and bad lost along the way. To the point of the OP, I do feel like the person that lived through each of the above paragraphs was a different version of myself, for better or worse. However, I strongly doubt that this is the final phase, despite my (very intentional) username. As the poet Stanley Kunitz wrote in his 70s in "The Layers", which is a poem pretty much about this entire post concept: "I am not done with my changes."
Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk.
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Comment on November 2025 Backlog Burner: Conclusion and Recap in ~games
deathinactthree Link ParentThanks for the detailed instructions! Very helpful and appreciated.Thanks for the detailed instructions! Very helpful and appreciated.
Look for the poems you like yourself, then look up the restraints and what makes them work.
I recommend Hoagland's Real Sophistikation as a primer, or Japanese Death Poems by Yoel Hoffman if you want to start on Hard Mode (which is good! I wrote my graduate thesis on poetry off of it) and go from there.