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    1. What's something you're "in too deep" on?

      A little white lie that got bigger than you anticipated. A hobby you got a little too into. The sunk costs of something irreversible in your life. Whatever it is, you're "in to deep" on it and...

      A little white lie that got bigger than you anticipated.
      A hobby you got a little too into.
      The sunk costs of something irreversible in your life.

      Whatever it is, you're "in to deep" on it and think fondly of surfacing (whether that's possible for your situation or not).

      Share what it is, how it came to be that way, and what's next for you.

      36 votes
    2. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    3. Not-so-humble brag: What are you proud of that you don't normally get to talk about?

      As we finish out 2025, it's been a minute since we had a question like this and with apologies to @kfwyre for stealing their MO. What's something you're proud of? Maybe from this year, maybe not,...

      As we finish out 2025, it's been a minute since we had a question like this and with apologies to @kfwyre for stealing their MO.

      What's something you're proud of? Maybe from this year, maybe not, but especially something you don't get to talk about a lot, for whatever reason.

      58 votes
    4. I feel that Destin (SmarterEveryDay on Youtube) is straying from the path

      Disclaimer: I'm dismissive of religious beliefs Just for the record. I'm was raised and am an atheist. I use to have a period where I was ostensibly against religion. I have soften my stand the...
      Disclaimer: I'm dismissive of religious beliefs Just for the record. I'm was raised and am an atheist. I use to have a period where I was ostensibly against religion. I have soften my stand the last ~10 years, I believe I'm more tolerant and don't care what people believe in if it makes them feel better, from religion to homoeopathy. However, I still vehemently oppose any pseudo-science or religion being brought up when discussing real science.

      I don't know if you know Destin Sandlin. He has a youtube channel named "SmarterEveryDay." I believe he would self-describe his channel as "a red-neck doing sciencey stuff."

      The guy has everything, from the southern accent to videos about seemingly-dumb red-neck things that involve a significant amount of engineering and the opportunity to teach about science. If you don't know him, some (not all) of what I consider his best videos are:

      The large part of his content is like this. Maybe not of this quality, but the theme is often some, what he calls, "redneck" thing turned into an engineering challenge. And overall, the quality of his videos is quite high.

      Sometimes he will just tag along with some expert explaining their fields. These are also entertaining and IMHO educational pieces of content. If you want examples, there are:

      And more rarely, he will post weird, life advice or motivational content. Usually this is wholesome or harmless, but it feels disconnected from the rest. Examples are:

      I've always like Destin. This is not a university class, and in the past he has taken some shortcuts with safety. But overall, I think he is an honest content creator, and he is entertaining and educational. He also has increase the safety of his experiments, and been educational about (see the video linked above about bullets hitting bullets) I feel that he has kept the clickbait as low as he could get away with Youtube's algorithm, and that's rare in this day and age, therefore I respect him for that. Overall his content is, IMHO, humble and wholesome.

      I think this contrasts with Veritasium which has become way too clickbaity, and Mark Rober who reminds you every 5 minutes that he quit his job at NASA to do Youtube. By the way, did you know Mark Rober used to work at NASA?

      Of course, Destin is not perfect. He has taken, what I consider to be, bad sponsorship in the past, such as NordVPN which is just a shady VPN (just use Mullvad or Mozilla VPN if you want to circumvent geoblocking), HelloFresh which is overpriced food delivered by a Roach Motel company, or Casper Mattress which AFAIK is a dropshipping company selling products with some health concerns. But many other Youtubers took these sponsorship, so I won't criticise him too much for that. Also his quest to make something 100% in the USA is very laudable, at least to me.

      There are some weird stuff though. I'm trying to not be too much parasocial, but most of his content that is not science related feels... weird. It's often about family, helping the poor, being a good member of the community, which I think are good values to have, but it has this weird religious semi-conservative undertone that I can't really pinpoint, it's more like an uncomfortable feeling.

      Most of his videos used to finishes with a reference to a bible verse in gray over a black screen. This has disappeared most likely as the Youtube algorithm started asking him to link to his other videos at the end of his videos. I also always find weird the videos with his kids because they address him as "sir". I don't know if it's cultural, but in France (where I'm from and where I live) this is usually associated with radical Catholics (aka "traditionalists")

      I've pro-actively tried to avoid judging him on the last part, because I believe people can live their life as they wish as long as they don't hurt anybody.

      But now, I'm torn... He has recently made more and more references to the bible for historical and biological facts. The two videos, I have in mind are:

      And this is starting to bother me. I don't mind the past "I have some belief I want you to know, but unrelated to that, I put it aside, here is some engineering/science video." However, I do mind the recent "I'm talking about science, and let me tell you how it matches my made up beliefs based on a book made up by people 1000s of years ago."

      I know that Destin owes me nothing. And the counter point should be "hey... if you're not happy just stop watching him." But I just feel that I'm watching a guy who spend more than a decades building his brand and audience just tearing it appart, and it was a good brand and audience. I'm just sad about it, but maybe I'm overreacting.

      What's your opinion?

      51 votes
    5. How do you want to define 2026 for yourself?

      I was never one to subscribe to new year's resolutions, but I do believe in using the new year to set a mindset for defining the past year and a goal for the new year's theme. How do you want to...

      I was never one to subscribe to new year's resolutions, but I do believe in using the new year to set a mindset for defining the past year and a goal for the new year's theme. How do you want to describe your 2026 this time next year?

      I want mine to be a year of sowing. I want to make roots in a new job which I love and extend myself out to new people to create relationships I'm proud to have.

      Another big focus this year for me will be physical change. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and last time I was close to this weight, I dropped 70lbs in under 6 months. It's time for me to find a sustainable way to reach and maintain that target weight again.

      29 votes
    6. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    7. How do you keep your life organized? What tools & systems do you use?

      Hi, Tilderites! I'm looking for a system and/or tool to better manage my tasks and to-do's. I'd like to become more productive & responsive. My current system is a mix of "mark as unread" for...

      Hi, Tilderites! I'm looking for a system and/or tool to better manage my tasks and to-do's. I'd like to become more productive & responsive.

      My current system is a mix of "mark as unread" for emails, physical "to-do" scribbles on post-it notes, reminders in my phone, and other digital notes. My problem is that once I add something to a task list, I inconsistently follow up on it. My other problem is that most of these tasks are unrelated, so mixing them together is confusing. My ultimate goal is to lighten my mental overhead without reducing productivity.

      I need a clear, centralized place to commit to keeping all my atomic tasks outside my 9–5: my social life, family, volunteering, any freelance work, housekeeping, personal projects, and so on.

      What tools do you use to stay organized? Do you have any advice for time management?

      Extra preferences:

      • I'd like to try tools designed for mobile and desktop.
      • I love visual tools and benefit from something visually intuitive (but customizable). I love colors.
      • Happy to pay for a productivity tool if it's effective.
      • I'd like a "one-stop shop" because maintaining different task lists in different tools seems messy. I encapsulate all 9–5 work tasks in a ticket tracking system. That's fine for work, but I only want 2 task apps, not 5. And I'm not sure if an Agile-like system works so well for me in real life.
      • I'm looking for something that can capture all my different categories or "tracks" of tasks without burying anything. I prefer to minimize context-switching, so I don't want everything to be visually mixed together; it'll distract me. But I want to make sure I don't forget a whole area of tasks. So this is partially a UI/UX question: what tools have the depth to do this?
      • My calendar is neatly organized and color-coded. I rely on it to remember daily obligations. Perhaps I could tie a task management tool into my calendar better.

      Maybe you can also offer advice on systems to maintain discipline and follow-up. My highly structured calendar is great and I mostly adhere to it. However, I haven't figured out how to utilize the calendar for oceans of teeny-tiny tasks, so I need something to complement it. In addition to a tool, I'm sure I could benefit from a new philosophical perspective or mental approach to staying tidy.

      Thanks in advance! :)

      38 votes
    8. Merry Christmas!

      Like the title says! For some reason I have actually woken up before my kids and I’m the only person stirring in the house — I have nothing to do but browse Tildes while I wait for the day to get...

      Like the title says! For some reason I have actually woken up before my kids and I’m the only person stirring in the house — I have nothing to do but browse Tildes while I wait for the day to get started. What’s everyone’s plan today?

      81 votes
    9. What do you leave out for Father Christmas?

      My partner and I were talking about how buzzed Santa must get from his light-speed jaunt around the world, drinking up everyone's booze, but it didn't occur to me that maybe leaving him alcohol is...

      My partner and I were talking about how buzzed Santa must get from his light-speed jaunt around the world, drinking up everyone's booze, but it didn't occur to me that maybe leaving him alcohol is not a typical tradition outside of the UK!

      If you celebrate Christmas, and leave (or have left) a drink and/or snack for Father Christmas, where are you from, and what do you leave?

      27 votes
    10. What are some of your "life hacks" you use regularly?

      These could be active skills or techniques you've found helpful, things you've built or bought that have changed an area of your life, or just something that brings you more joy than you had...

      These could be active skills or techniques you've found helpful, things you've built or bought that have changed an area of your life, or just something that brings you more joy than you had before.

      A few subject areas that could spark ideas (but please share things outside of these if you have them!):

      • Work / Professional Life / Networking
      • Cooking / Baking / Food Prep
      • Cleaning
      • DIY
      • Crafts / Hobbies
      • Home Automation / Security
      • Beauty / Grooming / Personal Hygiene
      • Travel
      • Planning / Scheduling / Memory Aids
      • Fitness
      • Relaxation
      • Mental Health
      49 votes
    11. Fun winter holiday decorations?

      So I asked this in the game giveaway thread and got some fun answers, and figured I'd ask the greater site at large! So, what are the gaudiest, funniest winter yard decorations you can find or...

      So I asked this in the game giveaway thread and got some fun answers, and figured I'd ask the greater site at large!

      So, what are the gaudiest, funniest winter yard decorations you can find or have seen? I'm talking giant inflatable leg lamps, Chewbacca's family dressed up for Life Day and other heartwarming scenes from the beloved classic Star Wars Christmas Special, Calvin-approved snowmen decorations, a crime scene around where Santa ran over grandma, a Calvin-approved snowman crime scene starring Olaf from Frozen as the victim.

      If you have pictures, all the better! If not, we can still get a laugh out of hearing descriptions. And who knows? Maybe you can get some ideas for next year...

      18 votes
    12. What are your predictions for 2026?

      Thought I'd post the thread this year as I haven't seen it pop up yet. It's been an eventful 2025, and we certainly live in some interesting times. If you made predictions for this year, how did...

      Thought I'd post the thread this year as I haven't seen it pop up yet.

      It's been an eventful 2025, and we certainly live in some interesting times. If you made predictions for this year, how did they turn out? What are your predictions for the next year?

      2019 thread

      2022 thread

      2023 thread

      2024 thread

      2025 thread

      37 votes
    13. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      10 votes
    14. Whatever happened to _____?

      News items come and go fast these days, which means we often see something as its happening, in the thick of things. So much of what we see stops there, and we don't get the full story later, once...

      News items come and go fast these days, which means we often see something as its happening, in the thick of things. So much of what we see stops there, and we don't get the full story later, once the dust has settled, because resolution is a lot less newsworthy.

      This is a chance to ask about old news items (or other events) and get updates on how things have panned out from people in the know. Also, interpret "news" very loosely here. This topic is open to, well, ANYTHING people want updates about. It could be about headline stuff, or something in, I don't know, the Stardew Valley modding scene, for example.

      For organization's sake, please limit each top-level comment to ONE topic. If you'd like to ask about multiple things, feel free! Just please make them as separate comments so that individual threads aren't a mix of different answers to different prompts.

      60 votes
    15. Does anyone use Ground News?

      I tried a quick search here and just wanted to see if anyone uses and recommends Ground News. Since I got my new phone I realized that I haven't really installed any news apps yet, I used to use...

      I tried a quick search here and just wanted to see if anyone uses and recommends Ground News.

      Since I got my new phone I realized that I haven't really installed any news apps yet, I used to use Boston Globe, AP News, and the BBC for just general goings on, but I don't live in Boston anymore, AP News gives SO many notifications about sports and random topics, and I think(?) BBC is in some hot water right now.

      So I've been looking for a new news digest so I can keep current events in mind again. I've been getting a lot of ads for Ground News and some creators that I like have done ads for them.

      I'm definitely left leaning and in the US and would primary like to keep up with news around home if that helps!

      39 votes
    16. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      3 votes
    17. Without looking, do you have a vague idea of your coordinates?

      I was recently talking to a group of people about a random plot point in a video game, wherein a character reveals some coordinates written down on a sheet of paper and says something to the...

      I was recently talking to a group of people about a random plot point in a video game, wherein a character reveals some coordinates written down on a sheet of paper and says something to the effect of "I think that's nearby, I will check it out." Nearly everyone in the group was thrown back by that, saying that there is no way that the character would know their coordinates off hand.

      Later on, through entirely unrelated circumstances (some SciFi show where a human told aliens to drop him at specific coordinates), coordinates came up in a discussion with my family. Half of the family knew, half the family didn't know, and both halves were surprised by the other half.

      I would be able to tell you if some random coordinate were within a reasonable drive of my city or not. I am curious about the ratio of people on Tildes that would know.

      (I have absolutely no idea how to tag this)

      58 votes
    18. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    19. Things to do when you've lost your job

      ** Edit: I updated my situation below in a comment but I'm gonna keep this post up to help others! ** About a month and a half ago I was put on PIP to step up at work. Feedback has been good over...

      ** Edit: I updated my situation below in a comment but I'm gonna keep this post up to help others! **


      About a month and a half ago I was put on PIP to step up at work. Feedback has been good over the last few weeks but not enough I guess. I was told I was terminated today.

      The job market out there is rough right now and I'm not sure what to do. I know a lot of people here have faced similar situations and everything, so I'm wondering if there's any tips/tricks/thoughts anyone has.

      I'm an Android developer and was working in fin-tech adjacent work if that's relevant.

      51 votes
    20. Thankful for y’all

      American Thanksgiving was yesterday, so I get a nice long weekend. My husband and I spent yesterday with family, while today has been us chilling with our dog while enjoying canned cocktails and...

      American Thanksgiving was yesterday, so I get a nice long weekend. My husband and I spent yesterday with family, while today has been us chilling with our dog while enjoying canned cocktails and delicious leftovers.

      In the spirit of the holiday (and speaking on behalf of the drinks I’ve consumed) I want to let everyone know that I’m happy this place exists and is filled with kind, thoughtful people. Tildes is marked by a coziness that, I believe, is largely missing across the modern internet.

      I like recognizing people’s usernames and getting to know them. I like the slower pace of things here. I like that people put in effort. It feels good.

      I know we’re all random internet nobodies inhabiting a tiny, niche corner of the web, but I’m happy I get to share this space with y’all. What luck that we ended up here, together.

      Cheers, everyone. 🍻 Thanks for being awesome.

      109 votes
    21. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      4 votes
    22. What are your favorite simple pleasures?

      For me: Cutting through an ice block with a stream of running water Going outside and it's the perfect temperature, or it's just a bit warmer but a breeze brings you back down to where you want to...

      For me:

      • Cutting through an ice block with a stream of running water

      • Going outside and it's the perfect temperature, or it's just a bit warmer but a breeze brings you back down to where you want to be.

      • The satisfaction of completing a project.

      68 votes
    23. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      5 votes
    24. What is your 'Subway Take'?

      For those who are unfamiliar, Subway Takes is a popular short form internet talk show "in which the interviewees present and defend a unique or controversial opinion, called a 'take'" Takes are...

      For those who are unfamiliar, Subway Takes is a popular short form internet talk show "in which the interviewees present and defend a unique or controversial opinion, called a 'take'" Takes are usually halfbaked and/or tongue-in-cheek. Some popular examples include:

      There are too many states in America

      Everybody in New York has rich parents or is selling drugs

      Spirit Airlines does not deserve the hate

      Italians became white after 9/11

      So what's your take?

      61 votes
    25. Shrinking number of free news outlets

      We've had discussions around here before about where we get our news, and one of mine has been The BBC. I've used them as an occasional source for several years now. It seems that today (Nov 15th)...

      We've had discussions around here before about where we get our news, and one of mine has been The BBC. I've used them as an occasional source for several years now. It seems that today (Nov 15th) marks a shift in their policy regarding access to their online site. BBC.com is no longer readable for free. I can look at their headlines, but as soon as I try to read an article, a subscribe pop-up appears, and there is no way around it. Archive sites will still have the articles, yes, but that is a different subject entirely.

      As far as I'm concerned, that drops them from my list of news sources. I have tentatively replaced them with Reuters, which is visually clunky, but still free. The AP site, PBS and National Public Radio are other sites I frequent. For a British viewpoint, I'm also trying out The Guardian, which bombards me with SUBSCRIBE notices, but those can still be zapped out of sight.

      Are there any other obvious sites I haven't mentioned? Not interested in right-wing propaganda by the way and I find most of the major American networks intolerable.

      36 votes
    26. Around the world in 80 days ... sustainably

      21st century version of the Jules Verne classic. No new carbon added to the atmosphere. Piece of cake? Impossible? Doable? Discuss...

      21st century version of the Jules Verne classic.

      No new carbon added to the atmosphere.

      Piece of cake? Impossible? Doable?

      Discuss...

      20 votes
    27. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      8 votes
    28. NATO alphabet

      Something more lighthearted: My wife has been doing a project that requires her to get people's information over the phone much more than usual. This leads to her and them using unofficial...

      Something more lighthearted:

      My wife has been doing a project that requires her to get people's information over the phone much more than usual. This leads to her and them using unofficial phonetic alphabet terms ("A as in aardvark" instead of "A as in alpha"). This is usually fine except when they choose a word that is ambiguous or just a word not known to the other party. Someone said "V as in Veya" to her, and we still don't know what a Veya is.

      This got me thinking about what inappropriate words you could use. I suggested "V as in Vasectomy".

      So how about it, Tilderists? What are your "wrong answers only" suggestions for a NOGO phonetic alphabet?

      42 votes
    29. Tilderinos

      Hi Tildenauts, There's a custom at Tildes, that sort of grew organically out of "what should we call ourselves?" threads, to refer to fellow Tilderians in ever changing ways. This happened because...

      Hi Tildenauts,

      There's a custom at Tildes, that sort of grew organically out of "what should we call ourselves?" threads, to refer to fellow Tilderians in ever changing ways. This happened because there was no obvious, non-cringy answer and anyway who cares? That's my read on it anyway, I didn't follow closely. Plus the idea of online in-groups is kinda cringy itself, but also inevitable because we're humans. The whole concept begs for ironic resignation.

      Anyway, fellow Tildinites, it occured to me that I've been coming here on and off for a long time. Since not too long after it launched I think. And it's been great. I consider Tildes a huge success in its mission, or my interpretation of it: be a comparitively intimate forum where people are thoughtful and less reactionary than elsewhere online. Throw in a (just) large enough userbase to include a wide variety of life experience and perspectives and you've got an oasis in an ever more polarized and reactionary internet.

      Tildes reminds me of earlier internet forums, when the tone, pace and motivations for online communication were less capitalized, in various senses of the word. Niche subreddits during Reddit's golden era are another example. It's a better vibe. I'm guessing that, during the various Reddit exodii, a fair amount of people who share that nostalgia ended up here.

      I even have some nostalgia for the early days of the platforms. MySpace! Early instagram was gorgeous. Even Facebook had its moments. My social media participation has always been below average, unless you count the years where any online socializing was unusual in the general population, but it's been a semi-consistent part of essentially my whole adult life both personally and professionally. Thinking about online socializing, it's funny how it's sort of its own thing. Kind of in its own social category, a new one that we recently invented. Maybe, in part, it's because the internet is a sort of buffer, and in those buffered interactions we're all a little different. In both good and bad ways. Lately it feels unbalanced towards bad, but perhaps it will swing back.

      It feels like the Tildian moderation strategy, and guidelines, have successfully created a culture that's now self sustaining to some degree. And I think that culture is pretty great. It's not perfect, in the way that nothing people do can ever be perfect, especially where communication is concerned, but it's beautiful and I'm grateful it exists.

      So, cheers to Tildes! I'd love to hear what other Tilderianites think about Tildes.

      58 votes
    30. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      9 votes
    31. Idle complaints of indebtedness and isolation

      Comment box Scope: information, explanation of psychological state Tone: neutral, bummed, defeated Opinion: yes Sarcasm/humor: none Hello. I usually talk about trains, except today, I just want to...
      Comment box
      • Scope: information, explanation of psychological state
      • Tone: neutral, bummed, defeated
      • Opinion: yes
      • Sarcasm/humor: none

      Hello. I usually talk about trains, except today, I just want to vent on my finances and my wishes for a less expensive world.

      I have found myself in financial straits,as I had amassed debt last year, lost work for months and amassed more debt. It’s in the low tens of thousands. of course I also lost my healthcare because I live in a rich country run by morally destitute anti-intellectuals.

      On paper, I will pay off the debt in 18-24 months, if god allows. I have work now.

      This city’s transit system has been hobbled in bad faith and will be destroyed come January….Fares have already risen, service cut. My train to work will be cut because the state refuses to provide services for its most productive citizens. It is twice as long by bus, suicide by bicycle on roads built for tanks, so I will have to sacrifice time or life.

      It seems the price of electricity has increased. I would generate my own, but it is impractical.

      Sadly my possessions are breaking too. This is the way of things, it’s just miserable timing, and each discovery of a failing mechanism or dilapidated object piles onto the defeat. The window frame has rotted and the glass fallen -- the house is frozen. Not a single plant survives. (The landlord will fix it, but not hurriedly…..) Bulbs burnt out, rooms dark. My bicycle needs new brakes, a new chain, my helmet has been destroyed and should be replaced, but for now I have been riding without. The computer has broken after 14 years, admittedly about time…. An expensive thing to replace, so now I only have my phone, whose battery has degraded quite a lot and will not be usable for too much longer, and a small laptop on death’s door too. I had worn my single pair of walking shoes for 5 years until, yesterday, the sole fell off. (Thankfully, I have one more, but it is formal and uncomfortable) A new pair is more costly than I remember… I know a cheap one will disintegrate in a season and do nothing for the snow, and a quality one is beyond financial prudence. My jacket is worn and torn by years and embers, beyond my ability to sew, and I must darn and darn and darn all the socks and gloves with holes, which I hate to do, and i am not good at. The denim jeans are ripped, in a place difficult to patch, and the pockets torn. I cannot bear the cold the same anymore, so I also need an overcoat, which I cannot afford. The fitted sheets are inexplicably torn by some punitive act of god, probably irreparably. The pillows are compressed, worthless, and causing me pain. Even the tent, which I might use to regain some sanity in the woods, has had its elastic poles dried solid and is basically unusable. At least I have a few books.

      My lifestyle is structurally cheap. Affordable city, relatively low rent, multiple housemates, no car, only occasional commute, no dog, no wife, no children. Not too much to pay for. I eat simply. I am content with it.

      Yet somehow I find myself with hundreds of dollars of credit card purchases this month, more than an entire paycheck, and last was also more. Qualifying for a healthcare plan has reduced my medical costs, but the difference is withheld, and I’m realizing that often it costs more than it would cost out of pocket, so at best it makes no difference. The dental and vision are exorbitant, so I just hope I don’t get a cavity.

      I suspect I need glasses, or will soon. I can tell my eyesight is beginning to worsen. But it’ll have to wait a couple years.

      The fear of a worse medical emergency persists. The deductible is rather high for a plan that offers no HSA and the co-pay is unremarkable, the coverage limited. Perhaps the least useful healthcare plan I’ve ever had.

      I do not gamble. I like to drink beer but have abstained recently. My hobbies are inspecting train and street infrastructure, studying the Holy Bible, moralizing on the internet and persuading the government to institute a better society. I lapse sometimes and make impulsive purchases, but not frequently. I have not even gone to see a game in two years.

      It’s a great pain to review your statements and recognize that almost none of the purchases were wasteful, only a few technically unnecessary. There were just too many overall.

      What upsets me most is the social distance I have gained from my condition of functional poverty. the agony of refusing visits, trips, games, concerts, shows, dinners, coffees, drinks grinds on me daily. Yes it is still nice to say hello, it is just not the same. The pity, or disgust, the symbolic offers of charity received. Mostly the confusion—the awkwardness, the unsolicited advice (which I don’t normally mind, but it gets old). I prefer to socialize with bourgeois progressives, academics and professionals who care about engineering and mathematics and government policy and theory. It’s what I care about. I do not really resent them, but everything they do costs more money than I possess, so it is difficult to see friends and I cannot hope to keep up with colleagues after work.

      I don’t object to work but I resent the fact that I must pay for my own healthcare. I also resent that my government neglects my transportation and my safety. I resent the pollution of the air, the NIMBYism driving up rents and leaving the addicted even more hopeless. I acknowledge the mistakes I’ve made that have led me here. I can’t undo the past, but Congress could socialize all medicine in the next budget if it wanted to…. repeatedly chooses not to.

      That’s all. I just wanted to complain. You can give me advice if you want. I’m relatively financially literate, just poor and human.

      51 votes
    32. Something that always bothered me about the Jonathan Majors trial

      So something I am curious about with the response/reaction to the Jonathan Majors trial and I am curious where I might be wrong. I never trusted the trial. but then again, I also know he might...

      So something I am curious about with the response/reaction to the Jonathan Majors trial and I am curious where I might be wrong.

      I never trusted the trial. but then again, I also know he might well be guilty of assaulting his ex-girlfriend Grace Jabbari. What always bothered me was the difference in how Jonathan Majors got treated compared to someone like Shia LaBeouf or Ezra Miller.

      Shia has openly admitted to the fact that he had inner demons that he is struggling with and that he was abusive to his ex-girlfriend. He never really got "cancelled" by Hollywood (whether or not he deserved to be cancelled is another story) and he never faced a trial as far as I can tell.

      Ezra Miller has had a laundry list of scandals and controversy and was apparently caught on camera assaulting people. No real publicized trial or anything (not that I think a publicized trial is good but it's what happened to Jonathan Majors). and I feel like social media didn't really come for Ezra like how it did for Jonathan Majors (again, I don't think social media should come for either individual but the difference in how they were treated seemed weird to me). I am not sure if Ezra has been "cancelled" by Hollywood. They hasn't really been in anything, so it might be Hollywood cancelling them or just not willing to take a chance on them or they're focusing on themself.

      All three man apparently assaulted other people. One of them on camera, but only the black guy faced a very publicized trial over it. What's more, Majors was accused of assaulting a white woman so it made me feel like the odds were stacked against him even more with regards to getting a fair trail due to the racial undertones.

      I will admit, I am not totally plugged into social media (I had no idea about the 6 7 meme until it made an appearance on South Park), I try to avoid staying away from it as I find it toxic to mental health (the extent to which YouTube shoved the Johnny Depp Amber Heard trail down my throat even though I didn't search for it and had no interest in seeing a women being served up on a platter for all the misogynists online who were damn near ready to say she was basically the anti-Christ scared me) but it just felt to me like there was much more furor behind the Majors trail than Miller or LaBeouf and it always made me distrust the pronouncement of guilty even though I also know he might well be actually guilty of assaulting his ex-gf.

      Did I misread the situation?

      13 votes
    33. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    34. People with a very good memory: does that make it harder to forgive?

      With a few exceptions, I have a remarkably bad memory (probably in part due to ADHD). When I have a fight or heated argument I usually remember the tone and gravity of the situation but the actual...

      With a few exceptions, I have a remarkably bad memory (probably in part due to ADHD). When I have a fight or heated argument I usually remember the tone and gravity of the situation but the actual words that were said are completely forgotten in a short period. With time the entire content of the discussion fades away.

      I have the impression this makes it easier for me to forgive people and forget bad events. The negative impressions don't have a lot memory to hold onto. Is the inverse also true? Does a good memory make it harder to forgive?

      34 votes
    35. Millennials: How do you feel about nostalgia pandering?

      When I was a kid, I remember the soundtrack to the world being oldies. Stuff from the 1970s and earlier. Boomers were always being pandered to by nostalgia. Decades later that pandering shifted to...

      When I was a kid, I remember the soundtrack to the world being oldies. Stuff from the 1970s and earlier. Boomers were always being pandered to by nostalgia. Decades later that pandering shifted to the 1980s, something I'm sure the Gen Xers must have appreciated. A year or two ago I realized that the nostalgia train has been in the late 1990s and early 2000s.

      It occurs to me that there has been nostalgic pandering going for a long time and I just hadn't realized it. I assume it's because a lot of the most notable ones have been pretty bad, particularly in the case of movies like the Space Jam sequel or the Jurassic World series. But music has had it's share too. I remember hearing a lot of references to 90s hip hop, and old bands like Backstreet Boys and My Chemical Romance have got back together. I've also been seeing a lot of references to old TV shows like Gilmore Girls and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (though, to be fair, people never really stopped talking about Buffy).

      Personally speaking, I'm not a fan of this. Yeah, the movies have been bad, but that's basically just the state of hollywood right now. But more than anything, I'm kind of disappointing by it. I'm more interested in new art, generally speaking, and more importantly, seeing all of these throwbacks is starting to make me feel old.

      38 votes
    36. Escaped monkeys and the post truth era

      Its 2am and I should be asleep so I'm sorry if this is maybe just a weird midnight rant. Today I saw a news article on the other site about aggressive monkeys with covid and herpes escaping a...

      Its 2am and I should be asleep so I'm sorry if this is maybe just a weird midnight rant.

      Today I saw a news article on the other site about aggressive monkeys with covid and herpes escaping a crashed semi truck.

      My first reaction was "is this headline a joke" and I couldn't tell. Then I looked at the source (action news 5 or channel 5 action news, or... something) and even opened the page to have a look for clues of it being fake and without digging deeper I just couldn't tell if it was a legitimate news site or not. So I read the (short) article and looked for clues and it sounded probably legitimate. There was a photo of the scene with a monkey at the rear of a trailer but af this point I can't instantly spot AI images and who knows if it isn't just an old photo. Then I go to the reddit comment and they're parroting additional "facts" but nothing that felt substantial.

      I felt very struck by the feeling that I don't know if I can trust any information online unless it's REALLY from a trusted source, and I'm not really sure what sources I can trust anymore.

      Is this just me? Have you felt a significant change in the last few months? AI is playing a big part in my distrust, but Im also seeing echo chambers somehow get even worse.

      Also, it found out later that the monkeys weren't knfected with a bunch of viruses, it was some sort of miss-communication.

      26 votes
    37. What ridiculous thing would you spend billions on?

      A wizard has cursed you with billions of dollars! Why is that a curse? Because unless you spend it immediately* on something ridiculous** you'll become like the worst, asshole-iest billionaire you...

      A wizard has cursed you with billions of dollars! Why is that a curse? Because unless you spend it immediately* on something ridiculous** you'll become like the worst, asshole-iest billionaire you can think of. (Fill in your own blank).

      Saving the world is out, philanthropy is out (unless it's utterly ridiculous), clever tricks to make the world better by finding a loophole and trying to outwit the wizard's curse are out.

      If you try something that could be started with an "um actually" 🤓☝️you end up naming all your children and companies with the same letter before the end of the day, got it? Spirit of the rules!
      I'm watching you. ತ⁠_⁠ʖ⁠ತ

      *A project might take time but you're going all in on it, cash up front
      ** The point is that it's pointless. It might be accidentally useful but it's pointless.

      ETA: I have been unjustly rate limited and will be replying when I can. Please take this opportunity to reconsider your charitable works and other attempts at public good and get back to airships and Animorphs movies. Ty

      73 votes
    38. How do you volunteer your time?

      As some of y'all know, I moved recently to NYC (Brooklyn specifically) and now that I've settled in a bit more, I was wondering about volunteering my time to help out the less fortunate,...

      As some of y'all know, I moved recently to NYC (Brooklyn specifically) and now that I've settled in a bit more, I was wondering about volunteering my time to help out the less fortunate, especially with the holidays and everything going on with the government shutdown.

      I've been juggling the thought of doing a soup kitchen or something but just wondering if anyone else had any interesting/unique/critical need things that they do! I hardly do volunteering unfortunately, always was more of a donating my money kinda guy.

      I did fairly well on my SAT's, (10 years ago so idk how much help I can be) but I was thinking of volunteering to teach kids or something but not too sure if a weekly commitment is too much for me or not.

      25 votes
    39. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    40. What are creepy, spooky or scary places you've been?

      It's spooky month again! I've asked in the past for people to share scary, creepy and unexplained stories in October. But I figure the community doesn't grow enough to guarantee new people with...

      It's spooky month again! I've asked in the past for people to share scary, creepy and unexplained stories in October. But I figure the community doesn't grow enough to guarantee new people with new stories every year. So this year I'll mix it up:

      What are some of the creepiest, spookiest and scariest places you've been?

      Can be genuinely scary with a personal story attached. Can just be a spooky haunted house exhibit. Can be a place you just found really creepy for no specific reason. It could be as big as a historic mansion with a macabre background, as simple as abandoned buildings, could be that weird attic room with a lock on the outside of the door...

      So share away!

      33 votes
    41. Oct 24 to Oct 25 ticket swap | Halloween Extravaganza Celebration @ St. John The Divine

      This is such a long shot, but I have two tickets for the Friday October 24th Halloween Extravaganza Celebration @ St. John the Divine in New York City that I'm hoping to swap for Saturday October...

      This is such a long shot, but I have two tickets for the Friday October 24th Halloween Extravaganza Celebration @ St. John the Divine in New York City that I'm hoping to swap for Saturday October 25 tickets.

      I entered and won tickets to another event Friday evening, but would really still like to see the extravaganza if possible. Both nights are sold out so unfortunately the venue can't do anything. Anyone out there happen to have Saturday night tickets they'd like to trade for my Friday night tickets?

      7 votes
    42. What are some interesting landmarks in your neck of the woods?

      Obviously I don't want anyone to dox themselves here, but if you're comfortable sharing, what are some interesting oddities or landmarks in your state, county, country, etc.? Think like "World's...

      Obviously I don't want anyone to dox themselves here, but if you're comfortable sharing, what are some interesting oddities or landmarks in your state, county, country, etc.?

      Think like "World's Largest Teapot" or "Carhenge". Or even smaller oddities or things that are unique to your area.

      32 votes
    43. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      3 votes
    44. I've changed my username (again)! 0d_billie => h3x

      It transpires that after the first time changing my username, I didn't learn my lesson about using a possible deadname in an online identity. Well, I changed my name in real life for the second...

      It transpires that after the first time changing my username, I didn't learn my lesson about using a possible deadname in an online identity. Well, I changed my name in real life for the second time earlier this year, and now /u/deimos has helpfully changed it for me here. When I was at Uni, my friends and I had a long conversation about what our Matrix-style hacker names would be. I picked Hex back then, and it feels fitting to bring it back in some form now. So with that in mind: Howdy, I'm h3x :)

      If you were a character in the Matrix, what would your super cool hacker name be?

      22 votes
    45. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      5 votes
    46. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      5 votes