pekt's recent activity
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Comment on ‘Escape From Tarkov’ fans are outraged at new $250 pay-to-win edition in ~games
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Comment on What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga) in ~anime
pekt LinkMy slow watch through Taiyou no Kiba Dagram continues! I've watched through episode 16 now. They recently fought through a desert and have gained a new member of the team in the form of a...My slow watch through Taiyou no Kiba Dagram continues! I've watched through episode 16 now. They recently fought through a desert and have gained a new member of the team in the form of a mechanic/supply technician.
I saw in a review that there is less development of the main characters than some of the side characters. I'm seeing that now and I'm curious id that trend continues as the series progresses. I feel like beyond Crinn there has only been some minor development in Rocky and everyone else is practically the same or only mildly changed since their introducion in episode 2.
I feel like I'll finish this in 2026 at the rate I'm going. I'm just glad I'm able to access this awesome work 43 years later!
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Comment on Is Tildes failing to thrive? in ~tildes
pekt LinkI've thought about posting more and bringing in topics for niches I enjoy but I also want to be able to engage with the people who comment on a post I'd make and have been holding off due to the...I've thought about posting more and bringing in topics for niches I enjoy but I also want to be able to engage with the people who comment on a post I'd make and have been holding off due to the limited time I can spend on Tildes and my hobbies in general.
I feel like I enjoy the quality posts and comments that I see here and the amount of activity here seems great as there's usually new things being posted throughout the day. For some of my niche interests I still visit the related subreddits but that has been decreasing more as I try to phase Reddit completely out.
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Comment on What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking? in ~food
pekt Link ParentThanks for the tip! My wife has asked me to stop eating such spicey foods so I'll keep this in my back pocket for the next time I get the urge.Thanks for the tip! My wife has asked me to stop eating such spicey foods so I'll keep this in my back pocket for the next time I get the urge.
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Comment on What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking? in ~food
pekt LinkI tried a ghost pepper ketchup a few days ago. It was made by the owner of the restaurant who does his own spice mixes and is starting to experiment with growing his own peppers as well. I think...I tried a ghost pepper ketchup a few days ago. It was made by the owner of the restaurant who does his own spice mixes and is starting to experiment with growing his own peppers as well.
I think I'm running into the "getting older". I'll be 30 soon and whenever I eat real spicey food now I have absolutely terrible bathroom breaks the next day and a minor stomachache. This is relatively new since I didn't have this even a year ago. Kind of a bummer since I moved to a country with plenty of access to spicey Asian cuisines.
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Comment on Parenthood venting thread in ~talk
pekt LinkGod speed to you and your family. Sounds like one of those months you'll look back on in the future when your kids have kids and be able to say "I know exactly what you're going through". We've...God speed to you and your family. Sounds like one of those months you'll look back on in the future when your kids have kids and be able to say "I know exactly what you're going through".
We've been there with worrying about our kids and have the whole sickness horror stories. We all got COVID when my eldest was ~8 months old at a friend's house out of state. Started feeling bad and he started having a fever first. Decided the next day to cut our trip short and drive home since we didn't realize it was COVID and wanted to be close to his pediatrician just in case. My wife started feeling sick and we hit the worst traffic I've ever seen on the way home. What should take ~4 1/2 hours was 9 in part because we had to pull over to change his diaper due to diaherria. Wife got worse and worse and I felt it creeping up. When we finally got home I still had energy and got everyone inside, get rice porridge cooking, showers, and then I felt it coming. Got food in everyone and hit the bed. Woke up with a terrible fever and barely remember the following few days besides some intense fever hallucinations while sitting and patting a baby to sleep in the middle of the night.
That incident reinforced our desire to move to be near my wife's family (I wouldn't trust my immediate family with my kids in any circumstances and most of my extended family as well). Once I finally get a job here I'm looking at a ~80-90% pay cut (after conversion) but the quality of life and having family is so worth it.
I hope your month ends well and you've made my current struggles of my eldest refusing to eat his vegetables now and not drinking enough water pale in comparison.
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Comment on What's something you've been mulling over recently? in ~talk
pekt Link ParentNewer Dad with two young sons here. I think other commenters shared some great experiences and I thought I might give my own $0.02 as well. Having my boys changed me fundamentally. I always wanted...Newer Dad with two young sons here. I think other commenters shared some great experiences and I thought I might give my own $0.02 as well.
Having my boys changed me fundamentally. I always wanted a family, a big family at that, but once I became a Dad I realized just how much I needed to improve myself. I have a relationship with my Dad that was "normal" but that was a very surface level attempt by me to cover up abuse and give the appearance of normality. After having some issues that stem from that crop up and impact my marriage I had to stop and reflect deeply on what kind of husband and father I wanted to be. It has been a journey each day but I hope that when my sons are older they'll want to still be friends with me and include me in their lives. They deserve the best me I can be.
Having a strong relationship with your husband is key before having a child. Having that foundation built sturdily is going to help you immensely through all of the struggles that being a parent entails. I put a massive crack in my marriage with my issues and I hadn't done as good a job as I thought I had in building it up which has made it feel extra crucial that I focus on my family before my own interests. Put your marriage first and your kids second. I know another commenter said the same thing and I wanted to reiterate on that. Find small things you can do together and don't let your marriage orbit your kids. Chatting while folding laundry, cooking, or even on a phone call on a drive can help make sure stay connected.
Your relationships with your friends will also change. My wife and I only have a few friends who have kids with the majority either not in a relationship or aren't interested in having kids. Some relationships will drift as your interests and time constraints are imposed by having children. I.e.: hard to say yes to a last minute 6 mile hike with friends when you have a 4 month old or even if your child is older l, say 1 year, you'll need to plan around their nap times and make sure you bring all of the necessary things with you (snacks, bottles, diapers, clothes, etc.). This isn't to make it sound negative but more to highlight that things change when you have a child that you may not have considered or noticed with your friends who do have kids. In my personal experience I've tried once a week checking in with friends just to stay current and connected even if it's a few words. I have no social media so it's my only way to know what's going on with them when I live 8-11k miles away.
I've heard about the differences in happiness levels of parents vs those who aren't. This is based on memory, that parents have a greater volatility of emotions compared to those without kids. Higher highs but also lower lows. I would agree with that based on my experience. Seeing my sons play together and watching my oldest trying to teach my youngest how to crawl and walk and talk fills my heart in ways I can't describe. On the flip side having my whole family get sick and dealing with cleaning up diaherria + vomit and cooking after only getting a couple of hours of sleep each night for days on end can have spend time questioning my decisions and wondering if it's worth it (it is, but you can't beat yourself up for having those moments).
Find support from friends and family and don't underestimate how much they matter. We moved across the world to be closer to my wife's family and while we don't have as many friends here yet being able to give my sons a loving family environment is huge. They're also going to get an overall better education (in my opinion) compared to the one I got in a US public school, besides a few areas that we'll address at home.
I'm glad you're giving it serious thought before diving in. I hope you find happiness in whatever decision you make. I'm sure if you do decide to have kids when need somewhere to vent anonymously that myself, and others here on Tildes, will be happy to lend a virtual ear.
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Comment on What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga) in ~anime
pekt LinkI'm very slowly watching through Taiyou no Kiba Dagram and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. I've watched through episode 13 and have enjoyed it immensely. I've found there was a...I'm very slowly watching through Taiyou no Kiba Dagram and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. I've watched through episode 13 and have enjoyed it immensely. I've found there was a Reddit watch through a few years ago and I've gone and read some of the threads on it which has been interesting.
I did see in a review somewhere that one of the downsides is the lack of variety in the soundtrack. I completely agree, all the tracks are good and fit but you hear the same ones over and over again. I noticed it especially when I got the rare evening to myself and watched 3 episodes in a row.
I'm enjoying it and look forward to continuing my dive into older mecha anime at the glacier pace that is being a Dad with young kids and more than 1 hobby I enjoy.
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Comment on Given the well-known difficulties for men to maintain friendships as they age, has anyone managed to make new friends after their 40s? in ~life.men
pekt Link ParentI know that feeling of being the only Dad in a group of friends. Out of my few different groups I'm either the only one with a stable relationship over the years or the only Dad. Most of my...I know that feeling of being the only Dad in a group of friends. Out of my few different groups I'm either the only one with a stable relationship over the years or the only Dad. Most of my friends are understanding and supportive but I know it's hard for them to relate when I share about things like finding a good school for my kids or they 90% of what I have to talk about is my family because that's what I spend my time on.
I've also distanced myself from one friend groups due to a mutual acquaintance from high school who is around more now that I don't have time who went down the "woke rabbithole" (for lack of a better term) and is weirdly confrontational when I hop on the discord server to chat when she's online. I can ignore her but it's gets tiring hearing someone say things like "you forced your poor wife to have so many kids. I feel so bad for her poor.bodu" (we have 2 so far and both of us would like to have more eventually if we can make it) when I bring up my kids or "I'm a racist colonizer" when I talk about having moved to southeast Asia to allow my wife to spend time with her family after being gone for nearly a decade and wanting my son's to learn about their mom's culture. I talked to a couple of those friends about it and they said she's gotten a lot worse over the past couple of years and they only tolerate her because she's the cousin of two of the guys. Sad to feel alienated from a group I've known most of my life because of one person being genuinely racist/spiteful when I've done nothing to her and no one even batting an eye about it (feels extra odd because I had classes with her for years growing up and was always on somewhat friendly terms with her). There's only one other white guy in that group and apparently gets those types of comments regularly but he doesn't want to rock the boat because that's his only group of friends.
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Comment on Given the well-known difficulties for men to maintain friendships as they age, has anyone managed to make new friends after their 40s? in ~life.men
pekt (edited )LinkWhile I'm not in the age bracket requested (about to turn 30). I do feel like I've struggled to make new friends. I'm a natural home body and enjoy my time alone. As I've grown more introspective...While I'm not in the age bracket requested (about to turn 30). I do feel like I've struggled to make new friends. I'm a natural home body and enjoy my time alone. As I've grown more introspective due to working through some childhood trauma I question how much of that is my version of an escape mechanism where my brother went the opposite way and was always/ likes to be out away from home.
I've found that I can make friends/acquaintances easily enough but I don't tend to put myself in situations where I can. Since graduating college I've only made 2 friends. I worked at a midsized business for 5 years and only had 2 lasting relationships, one a mentorship with my boss, and the other a friend who I keep up with intermittently. The other friend being the boyfriend (now husband) of my wife's work friend but we're not really close.
I agree with u/Delgalar that a lot of men's friendships are formed from circumstances like school/work and fade without being maintained. I managed to make a lot of friends in my fraternity in college in part because I lived in for 3 years and being inside a chapterhouse it works as the epicenter of the chapter's social scene. Post graduation I'm finding myself trying to reach out to guys more regularly to keep up our friendships because it is so easy to just not talk to the guys you aren't as close with after everyone disperses and before you know it's been 5 years and you haven't seen or talked to one of the guys and you both go "holy crap how has it been 5 years" when you do connect. I've noticed most of the guys I do reach out to tend to appreciate and mention how they only really talk to these few guys form the chapter at this point, their close friends or guys who ended up living next to them. I do have ideas on how our post graduate experience could be improved to help brothers stay in touch and keep our fraternal bonds strong. I pass those on to our chapter alumni board president and don't take action myself on the ideas (I burned myself out really hard by getting heavily involved and found it hurt my relationship with my girlfriend at the time, now wife, because I was prioritizing my chapter so heavily for so long and she felt that she didn't get that level of support after I was finally graduated and into our marriage. Totally valid and I've had to work hard on growing to be a better husband and unlearn a lot of things from my past and the broken marriages/relationships I had as mental models).
I deleted my social media years ago (unless Tildes and Reddit count) and the only way I keep up with my friends is by talking to them which has made me enjoy checking in with guys a lot more. When they say "oh I posted pictures of my trip on Instagram" and I can tell them I didn't see and can engage with them on that or any other life updates.
I've mainly struggled the last two year and a half with getting out and meeting new guys after becoming a Dad with two small boys and moving 8,000 miles away to be close to my wife's family. Over here my work schedule (before my contract ended) and taking care of my sons/housework eats most of my time. Throw in job applications, professional development, government paperwork that needs done, and spending time with my wife and her family and I barley get time to myself for my own hobbies. Makes coordinating the care of my kids and taking the time try and go meet new people plus spending the money to do it not appealing in the least. That being said I'm very slowly getting to know people at church each week and maybe one of those acquaintances will turn into a friendship over time.
I do know about it being hard for men to make friends and I didn't understand that really until I graduated and moved with my wife. There are days when I miss being in college where I had such a large social circle within walking distance or even just in the same house as me. I wouldn't trade anything for the time I get to spend with my sons and how fulfilling being a Dad is.
I think I meandered there but I find that I related to his even as a younger guy. Social media really added to that feeling and gave a sense of loneliness seeing my friends doing stuff after I moved away or when I wasn't invited and things were relatively close to me. Getting rid of it has helped me be a better friend and be more engaged with people as a whole.
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Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music
pekt LinkI've been exploring Dungeon Synth, listening to some of the popular albums on the Dungeon Synth Archive. I enjoy background music when working, or lately applying for jobs, like certain game...I've been exploring Dungeon Synth, listening to some of the popular albums on the Dungeon Synth Archive. I enjoy background music when working, or lately applying for jobs, like certain game albums and genres like Synthwave, Vaporwave, and Barberbeats. This has been an extension of that desire and has been incredibly enjoyable seeing this deep niche genre I'd not heard about. There are tons of different subgenres in it and I've slowly been making my own playlist of albums I've enjoyed.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
pekt LinkI recently opened Logistical back up to slowly chip away at a few of the modules I own. I've been playing it on and off for years and enjoy it when I do play it. I'm planning on buying the big...I recently opened Logistical back up to slowly chip away at a few of the modules I own. I've been playing it on and off for years and enjoy it when I do play it. I'm planning on buying the big Logistical 3 Earth game when I have some extra spending money but I don't think that will happen anytime soon.
Advance Wars by Web has still been fun but this week I've had less time to play.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
pekt Link ParentIirc there's a setting to disable battle animations for Advance Wars 1 & 2. Under Options > set Visual to No Visual. In case you ever want to go back and replay some war rooms or something.Iirc there's a setting to disable battle animations for Advance Wars 1 & 2. Under Options > set Visual to No Visual. In case you ever want to go back and replay some war rooms or something.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
pekt Link ParentIt's a ton of fun, if you want to add me on AWBW for a friendly game send me a friend request (my username is pekt99). I'm not great by any means and have found playing against people, besides my...It's a ton of fun, if you want to add me on AWBW for a friendly game send me a friend request (my username is pekt99). I'm not great by any means and have found playing against people, besides my brother and cousins growing up, is a lot harder than the AI.
Deejus Productions on YouTube has some great resources for new AWBW players.
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Comment on Best foreign films and TV shows? in ~tv
pekt Link ParentMidnight Dinner was very enjoyable from what I watched of it. I only got through the first season iirc before life got busier and I stopped having Netflix. I'm not sure if the subsequent seasons...Midnight Dinner was very enjoyable from what I watched of it. I only got through the first season iirc before life got busier and I stopped having Netflix. I'm not sure if the subsequent seasons held up but I do occasionally think about it and wonder how it developed.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
pekt Link ParentI've been a fan of the board game for a long time. My brother and I would play with our cousins or some friends and usually one game would take us 10-15+ hours due to food breaks, discussion,...I've been a fan of the board game for a long time. My brother and I would play with our cousins or some friends and usually one game would take us 10-15+ hours due to food breaks, discussion, strategy, and general hanging out.
I've actually looked at starting a game of the open source version TripleA. I think it's finally time to get the gang together and play online!
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Comment on When do you listen to podcasts? in ~life
pekt Link ParentGlad this post could inspire you! I really enjoy the aspect of doing something with my hands while listening. It makes me feel like I'm being productive while also doing something enjoyable.Glad this post could inspire you! I really enjoy the aspect of doing something with my hands while listening. It makes me feel like I'm being productive while also doing something enjoyable.
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Comment on Do you have any game sub-genres that you have a name for, but aren't big enough to be "official" sub-genres? in ~games
pekt Link ParentI think Erenshor fits what he is talking about.I think Erenshor fits what he is talking about.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
pekt LinkStarted playing Advance Wars by Web (AWBW) again. I wasn't getting email notifications before and would have my games time out on me. I setup the Discord notifications and has helped me keep...Started playing Advance Wars by Web (AWBW) again. I wasn't getting email notifications before and would have my games time out on me. I setup the Discord notifications and has helped me keep consistent on my turns. I'm debating making it my main competitive game so we'll see if I keep that up.
I do wish more games supported asynchronous multiplayer. It's the only way I can play now as a Dad and living on the other side of the planet from my friends (12-15 [or 13-16 depending on daylight savings] time difference).
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Comment on When do you listen to podcasts? in ~life
pekt Link ParentI've been eyeing Powerwash Simulator for ages. It's on my wishlist and a "one-day" game, your playing it so much helps bump it up my list since it seems right up my alley when I need to switch my...I've been eyeing Powerwash Simulator for ages. It's on my wishlist and a "one-day" game, your playing it so much helps bump it up my list since it seems right up my alley when I need to switch my brain off.
I'm glad Steam exists since so many games that look cool that have come out recently I haven't been able to play but I look forward to going back in the future to play them.
Stronghold just got a new rerelease and it made me excited since I still occasionally play the HD version and feel old everytime I see it came out in 2001.
I enjoyed my time in EFT with a standard account. I got into it during early COVID with my friends and it was great, but after my second wipe I knew I wouldn't be able to keep playing. It's fun but I don't have the time to keep up with the meta or make meaningful progress.
I have heard there's a mod that allows you play single player and doesn't wipe your progress. Essentially turning the game into PvE. My friends who are still interested in the game told me it's the only way they play nowadays.
Sad to see this happen to the game though. I enjoyed my time and definitely got my money's worth. I'll still watch an occasional video of it and that's enough to scratch the itch for me.