fefellama's recent activity
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentYeah immigration is a lot tougher than many people realize. My parents did the inverse when I was a kid (Brazil to USA) and I never fully appreciated how much work it was to leave your home...Yeah immigration is a lot tougher than many people realize. My parents did the inverse when I was a kid (Brazil to USA) and I never fully appreciated how much work it was to leave your home country into a whole new culture with no family to rely on, just a basic grasp of the language, and that's it. I'm now doing immigration the easy way since I'm already Brazilian (just needed a visa for my wife) and have plenty of family over there already, and even still it's been months of planning and paperwork. That's a big part of why I want to take the sabbatical later this year, to ensure that my wife, who understands but doesn't fully speak Portuguese, can acclimate without much issue.
And forgive my ignorance, but would another part of the UK not feel different enough? We also briefly looked into Canada or Australia because of the lack of a language barrier, but I'm fairly sure they required a job lined up as a sort of sponsor. Much harder to just move first and figure out the details later.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentYup, that's the exact dream I'm hoping to achieve. Glad it worked out for you! It's part of what makes it feel so tense right now. Because I can see that finish line in sight, just need to...The end result was that I strengthened my relationship with my spouse, cleaned up the physical and mental health damage from the toxic job, found a much more congenial environment, community, and lifestyle
Yup, that's the exact dream I'm hoping to achieve. Glad it worked out for you! It's part of what makes it feel so tense right now. Because I can see that finish line in sight, just need to actually push through these last 100m of the marathon. And thanks for the well wishes!
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentOh man yeah that commute sounds not pleasant to say the least. Good luck on your interview! And yeah I really wanted to just walk away entirely in 2024, but I didn't have any plans or anything at...Oh man yeah that commute sounds not pleasant to say the least. Good luck on your interview! And yeah I really wanted to just walk away entirely in 2024, but I didn't have any plans or anything at the time so I mustered everything I could to suck it up until I had a plan. Would have for sure left early 2025 if we didn't decide to move countries.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentThanks! Hopefully some of the nerves go away after tomorrow.Thanks! Hopefully some of the nerves go away after tomorrow.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama Link ParentThanks for the support! Deep down I know you're right and I truly am confident in my decision. It's just hard not to feel nervous at such a big life change.Thanks for the support!
Deep down I know you're right and I truly am confident in my decision. It's just hard not to feel nervous at such a big life change.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fefellama (edited )LinkSo tomorrow (Monday, March 2nd) I'm going to be quitting my job! Well I'll be giving them two weeks of notice, but still, the cat will finally be out of the bag. I've known since about a year and...So tomorrow (Monday, March 2nd) I'm going to be quitting my job!
Well I'll be giving them two weeks of notice, but still, the cat will finally be out of the bag. I've known since about a year and a half ago that I'd be leaving (October 2024 to be exact), and have posted some bits and pieces of my situation here on Tildes before. TL;DR they don't value me at all. Workload has quadrupled, stress has quadrupled, blame has quadrupled, yet pay has stayed the same (which effectively means it's gone down thanks to inflation). Have spent the last year or so planning an international move (USA to Brazil), involving tons of bureaucracy and consulate visits and nonstop research and soon an apartment purchase as well. In truth I could probably stay a couple more months, but we will be heading over soon to start looking at apartments and hopefully put in an offer on one, so we needed to be flexible on dates and I've already used up all my limited vacation time. I'd have to let them know at some point, so I decided to just rip off the bandage tomorrow rather than try to plan a bunch of weekend trips with what few PTO days I have left.
I've never really quit a job before, so I'm nervous as fuck. This is my first and only 'real' job since graduate school. Before that I had various part-time jobs, but those were always with the understanding that it would just be temporary. But this job is differrent. I've been here for like 7 years and I really saw myself staying here long-term before the wool was lifted from my eyes at the end of 2024. And it's not like I'm leaving this job to start a new job immediately after. The plan is to move in the next month or two (pending the apartment purchase) and then get situated and basically take a sabbatical for the rest of 2026 while we adapt to our new lives. Then a fresh start in 2027. It's quite literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity given that my parents are also about to retire and have always planned on returning to Brazil once they did, plus we have a toddler that will need to start schooling in about a year. So the timing just feels right.
I'm not seriously having second thoughts or anything, I know that this is the right move for my family right now (wife is 100% on-board and supportive, though equally nervous). But I just know that tomorrow I'm going to have an uncomfortable conversation with my boss, that I suspect will come as a complete shock to them (though in my mind they really should have seen this coming, but who knows). I've imagined the scenario in my head a million times. I'd love to just go in and tell them how terrible they've made me feel and how incompetent I think they are, but then that'd be awkward as fuck for the remaining two weeks and I'd rather avoid it as much as possible. So I'm planning on being much more diplomatic and just saying that it's health-related (which it totally is because the stress of this job has really been taking its toll on me, first mentally and even physically in recent months). I know that leaving is not a spur-of-the-moment decision, I know that we have a solid plan lined up that we've been tweaking and working on for months, I know that things will be alright, but it's still a scary thing to leave the comfort and safety of the known, for the uncertainty of the unknown. Excited for the future, but anxious as hell.
Oh and in case I hesitate, I could just remind myself about how in my latest performance evaluation they faulted me for taking an 'excessive' vacation of 2.5 weeks, which I communicated and was given the okay for MONTHS in advance. I spent the first five years of my time here taking basically no vacations, using up all my PTO time for doctors visits and other miscellaneous life events (like one time I took 3 weeks of paternity leave which was really just all of my vacation time for that year since we don't actually have any paternity/maternity leave). But then the second I actually start taking some vacation time for actual vacations it's 'excessive'? Yeah okay.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
fefellama Link ParentSure! My two favorites are Slice & Dice and Dicey Dungeons. Then I have Dicefolk and Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles on my wishlist, so I can't comment too much on them other than that they look...Sure!
My two favorites are Slice & Dice and Dicey Dungeons.
Then I have Dicefolk and Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles on my wishlist, so I can't comment too much on them other than that they look interesting to me.
Slice & Dice and Astrea both have demos, so you could always check em out first to see if you like them. The Slice & Dice one in particular is basically just the whole game minus some missing features, so I played the crap out of that before actually deciding to get the game, lol.
And besides those dice games, figured I would mention a deckbuilder or two: Dancing Duelists which is by the same team who made Slay the Spire. Not as deep but free and fun. And then Balatro is the other I figured I'd mention in case you haven't gotten around to trying it. In my opinion it's the only deckbuilder that rivals MT and StS in terms of quality. And I've been playing a lot of Ring of Pain recently and have been surprised by how much it's hooking me. But it's no Balatro/MT/StS.
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Comment on Tell me about your favourite web-based logic puzzles! in ~games
fefellama LinkSome great games posted here, I'd like to add Dragonsweeper. It's basically minesweeper with extra steps. A bit tricky at first but is completely possible to not just beat the game but beat it...Some great games posted here, I'd like to add Dragonsweeper. It's basically minesweeper with extra steps. A bit tricky at first but is completely possible to not just beat the game but beat it perfectly and while completing all the achievements in one go (complete the game, don't kill the two lovers, don't kill any rats, and don't break the egg).
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Comment on New accounts on Hacker News ten times more likely to use em-dashes in ~tech
fefellama Link ParentWhy do you find the culture on HN more susceptible to bots than Reddit? Not disagreeing, just curious.Why do you find the culture on HN more susceptible to bots than Reddit? Not disagreeing, just curious.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
fefellama Link ParentSome great games you've listed. I too got lost in the vastness of the Hinterlands and eventually got bored of the game only to look up some info online and see that the number one advice for the...Some great games you've listed. I too got lost in the vastness of the Hinterlands and eventually got bored of the game only to look up some info online and see that the number one advice for the game is to leave the fucking Hinterlands, lol.
Super Monkey Ball, THPS, Mad Max, and Lego Star Wars are all pretty chill games so they should definitely work as palette cleansers. I'm sure the others do too, I'm just not as familiar with them.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
fefellama Link ParentHell yeah, random everything on Monster Train is the way to go. Never know what you're going to get and what your deck will end up looking like. Are you looking for more suggestions of roguelike...Hell yeah, random everything on Monster Train is the way to go. Never know what you're going to get and what your deck will end up looking like.
Are you looking for more suggestions of roguelike deckbuilders or not really? If not, that's totally cool, but you may want to check out a few roguelike dice-builders if you haven't already. They scratch a similar itch for me to deckbuilders like MT and StS (though I agree that not much comes close to those two in terms of quality and staying power).
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Comment on How do you remember? in ~tech
fefellama (edited )LinkI've tried a bunch of those apps/sites too and honestly I've found that none of them have a perfect one-size-fits-all solution because there are different kinds of information that I need to...I've tried a bunch of those apps/sites too and honestly I've found that none of them have a perfect one-size-fits-all solution because there are different kinds of information that I need to remember.
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If it's something important that I need to remember but am unsure when, like a code or name or number or something, I'll probably just email it to myself. That way if/when I need if in the future I can just search for it in my email very easily.
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If it's something I'm sorta maybe interested in but not too fussed over if I remember to check it out or not, maybe I'll just leave a browser tab open for a few days/weeks until I decide that I actually want to read it or not (often times I'll just close it after a few days because I'm not that interested any more).
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If it's a webpage that I know I'd like to come back to, I'll just bookmark it into an appropriate bookmark folder.
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If it's a lot of text that I need to save, like a list of stuff to do or notes from a phone conversation, I'll just use the default notes app on my phone, or maybe a google doc/sheet if I'd like to share it with my wife.
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If I need to be reminded at a specific date or time, then I'll just use the reminders app on my phone, or a basic alarm if its within the next 24 hours or so.
Seems like a messy system, but it mostly works fine for me. Despite there being like 5-10 different apps and programs, I find that it works well because each program or app serves a specific role rather than trying to remind me of everything.
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Comment on FK Bodø/Glimt's 5-2 aggregate success against Inter Milan secured their place in the Champions League last sixteen for the first time – will face either Manchester City or Sporting CP in ~sports.football
fefellama Link ParentHa! I came in here yesterday thinking you had already posted it. Anyways, big props to Bodø! I couldn't watch the whole game but I saw the extended highlights and they genuinely looked solid...Ha! I came in here yesterday thinking you had already posted it.
Anyways, big props to Bodø! I couldn't watch the whole game but I saw the extended highlights and they genuinely looked solid throughout. Inter had more chances but the Bodø ones looked (and were) more lethal! And all while being in their off-season.
I wonder how far they'll go in this competition given they've already beat Man City, Inter(x2), and Atletico.
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Comment on Those who can, teach history in ~humanities.history
fefellama Link(Edit: Ended up being a lot longer of a comment than I anticipated. I just really love history and have tons of thoughts about how it is and should be taught. Thanks for sharing, OP.) Interesting...(Edit: Ended up being a lot longer of a comment than I anticipated. I just really love history and have tons of thoughts about how it is and should be taught. Thanks for sharing, OP.)
Interesting article. I agree with a lot of the points (like that teaching history relies on a lot of personality and charisma), but not really on some other points (that a good history teacher needs to be skeptical and anti-establishment). I think, as with almost everything, there's nuance to this and no truth or lesson is going to be 100% accurate with regards to what makes a good history teacher.
I'll preface some of this by saying that I have two degrees in history, and have worked in public history for a decade now. I've taken tons of history classes, with great teachers/professors and some crappy ones too. I'm not saying that my opinion is factually correct or anything crazy like that, just that I've probably taken more history classes than most people. And I've found that the classes I enjoyed most were often very different from each other, and I enjoyed them for various different reasons that have nothing to do with each other and more to do with either the subject, or how I personally prefer to learn.
My favorite professor was as formulaic as possible. Took like 6 or 7 classes with him from undergrad to graduate level. Each class was a pure lecture for 1-3 hours and that's it. There was no attendance, no homework, no assignments. Just a mid term and a final that each was worth 50% of our final grade. Some people HATED that. I loved it. Meant I could just relax in class and listen to this incredibly well-versed man talk about something he clearly knew a shit ton about without having to worry about anything else other than what he's lecturing about. Maybe some people would ask a couple of questions every now and then, but essentially it was just him talking at you for multiple hours straight.
Another super memorable class I had was by a professor who was the exact opposite of that. Only like five or six people signed up for the class, which just happened to be the minimum needed for a class to count at my university. So he basically made a deal with us that if no one dropped the class we'd go on a shit ton of field trips (the class was about our local region's history). And boy were those field trips amazing. Learned so much cool stuff about the place where I grew up and even visited some sites that I had no idea existed despite living in that area for 20+ years. That class was as far from formulaic as possible, and the professor was a soft-spoken old man who definitely did not exude charisma.
I had another class with a professor who absolutely loved Classical history as well as the Renaissance, and he didn't care if we ate in his class. So every morning at 9 AM I'd show up with a bowl of cereal (provided by the school, I didn't just bring my own from home) and listen to this guy talk about how Plato's ideas or Michelangelo's frescos for an hour.
I've taken classes on historiography where the entire class was just a round-table discussion and the professor was sort of just a moderator for the group discussion every week, pointing us in the right direction with specific questions about the reading material each week. I've had classes about subjects that I thought would be super interesting, and then turned out to be horrible classes because the professors were too monotone and assigned work that felt unnecessary or forced. And many other classes in between that were neither memorable for being great, nor for being shit.
All that is to say that different people value different things from their history teachers/professors. Charisma definitely helps, but the actual subject matter helps a lot too (it's a lot easier to learn about something that you already sorta care about) as well as the structure of the class and how it jives with your personal learning preferences.
And especially on the public history side of things, where I might only have a few minutes to convey some history to people rather than a whole semester or year like history teachers/professors get, I find that the content is even more important. People don't like hearing numbers and dates and obscure names, they want the Hollywood stuff. Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll are what catches people's attention and leaves a lasting image in their head (for better or worse), so you need to use those key interesting points/stories to convey the other important shit you want to talk about. Teach them without making them think you're teaching them. I'm not trying to get you to learn about this history, no no no, I'm just telling you about this cool shit that happened and btw it just happens to relate to the history of this area, hmm what a coincidence. Think back to a historic site or building you might have visited. You probably don't remember the exact year it was built, but you might remember a crazy story that you heard about while there. It's a whole different ballgame is what I'm trying to get at compared to more traditional classroom environments.
My wife always talks about how much she hated history growing up because all her teachers happened to be boring as hell, but since meeting me has become way more interested in history because she enjoys how excited I get about it. And yeah I'm sure she's biased as hell, but it makes me a bit sad that there are tons of people out there that grew up with crappy history teachers and end up not caring much for it despite how integral it is to our lives (the 'subject of subjects' as the article puts it).
Long story short, what makes a good history teacher is different from person to person. No one person is the perfect history teacher to everyone out there, because people learn in different ways and have different interests. Heck nowadays my favorite history teachers are often times YouTube channels like RealLifeLore, Extra History, and Heroes and Legends. Back when I was a kid there was a very over-the-top show comparing different soldiers, like a samurai vs a knight vs Zulu warrior or whatever, and it was dumb as hell in hindsight, but kept me hooked and encouraged my love of history. 12-year-old me had different tastes and interests as current me, so how we learn history should not be a one-size-fits-all approach.
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Comment on What are important historical books lost to time? in ~books
fefellama LinkCool question, though a bit hard to answer. My first thought was to Classical documents, like ancient Greece and Rome. I know there are a ton of works there that we know about but haven't...Cool question, though a bit hard to answer. My first thought was to Classical documents, like ancient Greece and Rome. I know there are a ton of works there that we know about but haven't discovered (like there'll be books 1, 2, 3, ... 7, 8, 9 in a series, so you can probably infer that there were books 4, 5, and 6 as well, even if they haven't been discovered yet).
Another thought that I had, that you might be interested in reading about are the Herculaneum scrolls. TL;DR when Mt Vesuvius erupted in 79 AD, it covered not just Pompeii but some surrounding villages as well. One villa in Herculaneum had a ton of scrolls/documents that were carbonized by the heat and ash. So they're basically these super-delicate pieces of charcoal that used to be writings, and thanks to
magicthe hard work and ingenuity of various researchers, we can now scan them and read through their contents without ever opening them (opening them is basically impossible without destroying them... which is not great). This is pretty novel stuff, so a few news articles have been posted to tildes in the last couple years about this project. -
Comment on Russia poisoned Alexei Navalny with dart frog toxin, European nations say in ~society
fefellama Link ParentYup someone else posted the wiki page, here is a BBC clip on it. It's basically exactly what it sounds like. He called up the dude who poisoned him, spoofing his number to pretend to be one of the...Yup someone else posted the wiki page, here is a BBC clip on it.
It's basically exactly what it sounds like. He called up the dude who poisoned him, spoofing his number to pretend to be one of the guy's superiors, and practically interrogated the guy on why he failed his mission, getting both a confession as well as the details of the failed assassination in the process (at the time they did not know how the poison was applied).
Like imagine you're a hired assassin, you fail to kill a guy, and then your boss's boss calls you and asks you how you managed to fuck it up. You then explain to him how you went about doing it and why you failed your mission. Except unbeknownst to you it's not your boss's boss on the other line, it's the guy you tried to kill. Sounds like something right out of a Hollywood spy thriller.
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Comment on Russia poisoned Alexei Navalny with dart frog toxin, European nations say in ~society
fefellama LinkIt's almost exactly two years since his death. I'm curious why this information is coming out now. Read the article but maybe I missed it? Did they just test it now? Did they know before and are...It's almost exactly two years since his death. I'm curious why this information is coming out now. Read the article but maybe I missed it? Did they just test it now? Did they know before and are just releasing it now? Does it just take that long to test for these sorts of toxins (I really have no clue).
Anyways, his death really stayed with me at the time. As someone who studied/studies a lot of history, it's always strange to be reminded that the things you read about that feel like distant memories of the past, like war and slavery and the purging of political dissidents, are actually still going on regularly with absolutely no end in sight.
I still vividly remember his phone call with the agent who poisoned him where he pretended to be the guy's higher up and was grilling him about why he fucked up the assassination, and getting the guy to explain exactly how he carried out the poisoning (the whole toxin in the underwear thing). Crazy stuff.
At the time when he turned himself in I really hoped his imprisonment (and eventual execution) would lead to some lasting change, but it seems that was not the case sadly. A real-life martyr if I've ever seen one.
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Comment on Disney’s Beauty and the Beast [1991] vs Jean Cocteau’s La Belle et la Bête [1946] (2015) in ~movies
fefellama (edited )LinkReally interesting read, thanks for sharing. I'll preface this by saying that I've never seen La Belle et la Bete, but the Disney version of the story is my wife's favorite film, so I've seen that...Really interesting read, thanks for sharing. I'll preface this by saying that I've never seen La Belle et la Bete, but the Disney version of the story is my wife's favorite film, so I've seen that version like ten times.
First off, I like the differences in the French version. Lots of details that are reminiscent of other Disney films. There's the evil sisters (Cinderella, like the author mentions), but also the daughter taking the place of her ailing father (Mulan), as well as a magic mirror that shows her anything she wants to see (Snow White, and I guess Beauty and the Beast too, of course).
Secondly, I think it's inherently silly to point out plot holes in a kids fiction movie. (You're telling me Gaston doesn't actually eat five dozen eggs every single day?) Still good fun though.
Also:
Question: Where in the hell is Beast’s castle located? Belle and Maurice go back and forth between it and the village rather quickly and the mob seems to reach it in a matter of minutes. Did everyone just forget about this castle that was apparently just down the road?
Uhhh, yeah, they literally did forget. That's the whole spell/curse thing from the beginning of the movie. The
old ladybeautiful enchantress that curses the beast and his servants also puts a spell on the nearby town so they forget their loved ones (where do you think the servants came from?). There are little hints to this throughout the movie I believe, like in the beginning when Belle asks the guy in town if he's forgotten something and he says yes, he just doesn't remember what. And then at the end when the spell is lifted the townsfolk reunite with their loved ones who were trapped in the castle (the servants). So yeah it totally tracks that they wouldn't remember this castle until Gaston whips them into a frenzy.This is France but only one character has a French accent.
Someone else already pointed out the feather duster lady also has a French accent. Regardless, I feel like most Disney movies don't really have 'appropriate' regional accents. If they did then Emperor's New Groove definitely wouldn't be starring David Spade as the leader of the Inca.
Sure you can poke holes in the story structure of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast but what you can’t do is deny that it had some fantastic songs. Howard Ashman and Alan Menken put together one fantastic score, one so good that it went on to make Beauty and the Beast a Broadway hit.
I appreciate that the author mentioned this (how could one not?). These classic Disney movies have a ton of staying power because of the catchy and well-written songs (cough cough Alan Menken cough cough). And I'll say that the couple of songs they added to the remake were pretty good too. One of the best Disney remakes of the last decade or so, if not the best. They kept nearly everything that was good about the original, and just added a little bit more context for some things (like what happened to the mom), and some additional great songs. If only they had kept that formula for the other remakes...
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Comment on Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news in ~news
fefellama Link ParentNow I'm trying to imagine other medalists competing against their own phobias. Like a swimmer with a fear of water. Or an equestrian with a fear of horses. Maybe a bobsledder with a fear of...Now I'm trying to imagine other medalists competing against their own phobias.
Like a swimmer with a fear of water. Or an equestrian with a fear of horses. Maybe a bobsledder with a fear of confined spaces. Would make for a much more entertaining Olympics if you ask me.
Lol I was referring to Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. I visited England once but did not know if those other three were distinct enough or if they felt mostly similar in terms of culture and daily life. I just included Canada and Australia because they are also English-speaking and we just happened to look into them about a year ago before coming up with our plan for Brazil.
And unfortunately I think a lot of places are experiencing problems. So for me it feels like a pick-your-poison situation where I have to just accept some things in order to get away from others. Brazil isn't perfect by any means, but I feel like it's the best for our specific situation. I hope you can find somewhere that feels equally perfect for you!