0d_billie's recent activity
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Comment on Book recommendation request: Fantasy book about university similar to The Name of the Wind? in ~books
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Comment on Book recommendation request: Fantasy book about university similar to The Name of the Wind? in ~books
0d_billie LinkAt the risk of very loosely interpreting your criteria, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell is an excellent story about one magician teaching another. I wholeheartedly adore the book. It's a slow burn,...At the risk of very loosely interpreting your criteria, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell is an excellent story about one magician teaching another. I wholeheartedly adore the book. It's a slow burn, with a thoroughly academic vibe throughout, and is superbly witty.
It's not really got a university type setting. The tuition happens mostly in a one-on-one context, and is often relegated to the background in lieu of exploring the relationship between these two gentlemen. And stylistically it's very removed from Rothfuss' writing. But it is, in my opinion, one of the greatest works of fantasy (possibly even fiction?) of this century.
(See also, a tremendously good BBC adaptation of the same)
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Comment on What's the biggest YouTube channel still run by just one person? in ~creative
0d_billie Link ParentI think it's probably also best to consider him a podcaster who makes occasional YouTube videos these days!I think it's probably also best to consider him a podcaster who makes occasional YouTube videos these days!
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Comment on United States Department of Justice will push Google to sell Chrome to break search monopoly in ~tech
0d_billie Link ParentA lot of people find the syncing of bookmarks and passwords between devices very convenient.A lot of people find the syncing of bookmarks and passwords between devices very convenient.
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Comment on Queer | Official trailer in ~movies
0d_billie Link ParentI honestly thought it would have died by nowI honestly thought it would have died by now
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - Nominations thread in ~books
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Comment on New research uncovers why our brains are effective at quickly processing short messages in ~science
0d_billie Link ParentAhhh, yes they must have updated it after the fact. Either that or I hadn't had enough caffeine yet! Thanks :)Ahhh, yes they must have updated it after the fact. Either that or I hadn't had enough caffeine yet! Thanks :)
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Comment on New research uncovers why our brains are effective at quickly processing short messages in ~science
0d_billie (edited )LinkOooooh, fascinating, I'll have to get a copy of the paper to read! Aside, but it really irks me that in the official press release from the university where this research originated do not provide...Oooooh, fascinating, I'll have to get a copy of the paper to read!
Aside, but it really irks me that in the official press release from the university where this research originated do not provide any links (that I can see) to the actual paper itself.
I had to search for the author's name and the journal name to be able to figure out that the paper itself is entitled The spatiotemporal dynamics of bottom-up and top-down processing during at-a-glance reading.See the comment by /u/4rm below
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Comment on Timasomo 2024: Week 3 Updates in ~creative.timasomo
0d_billie Link ParentWell, it's that time of the year again: I have utterly failed to keep up with my (very wishy-washy) TiMaSoMo plans, and I won't have time to do much of anything before the end of the month. So...Well, it's that time of the year again: I have utterly failed to keep up with my (very wishy-washy) TiMaSoMo plans, and I won't have time to do much of anything before the end of the month. So please take me off the list.
That said, I look forward to seeing what everyone else has done when it comes to the showcase!
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Comment on How do I recover from burnout? in ~health.mental
0d_billie LinkI’ve taken to very deliberately blocking time out in my calendar that is specifically called Recovery Time. I make sure that I’m not going out, and I don’t do any kind of housework or...I’ve taken to very deliberately blocking time out in my calendar that is specifically called Recovery Time. I make sure that I’m not going out, and I don’t do any kind of housework or adult-responsibility-based activity (beyond the reasonable minimum). So if I spot that I have plans 3 out of 4 weekends, I’ll block out the 4th one for personal time and say no to whatever comes my way.
Beyond that, I find that taking inventory of how I’m spending my time, and the routines/habits/systems I am in, and reevaluating their usefulness to be really helpful. What assumptions am I holding on to that might have been useful for my past self, but aren’t any more? Why am I working/playing/living in a given way that is so counter conducive to my burnout? What things can I specifically change or shake up to try and jolt myself back into a healthier state? etc.
I think part of what contributes to my sense of burnout is a feeling of a lack of control. And for me, letting go of things that I don’t need to have/do and focusing more on the ones that I do need to have/do helps me recover faster. I tend to stop half-arsing so many different things and just whole-arse a much smaller number. So far so good, and it’s good for me to be in the habit of constantly tinkering with my life.
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Comment on Inside the TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people in ~tech
0d_billie Link ParentApologies to /u/Lobachevsky and /u/sparksbet if I came across as overly defensive or antagonistic in yesterday's exchanges. I wasn't having the best of days, and it poked me in a very raw place to...Apologies to /u/Lobachevsky and /u/sparksbet if I came across as overly defensive or antagonistic in yesterday's exchanges. I wasn't having the best of days, and it poked me in a very raw place to feel like I was being told that I'm an irresponsible or bad parent. Not that that's what either of you were necessarily saying, but it's how my brain chose to interpret it, and I'm sorry if I acted poorly.
There were some very thoughtful contributions and it's sincerely given me a lot to think about regarding how I go about teaching my daughter to have a healthy relationship with technology and the Internet. I am of the opinion that she knows and understands why we're not currently comfortable letting her have access to certain social media, because it's a conversation we've had a lot of times. But as has been pointed out, perhaps those conversations have been interpreted and internalised in a different way by my daughter than how I think they have been. I'm going to make a point to have another talk with her about all this at the weekend.
At the centre of it all is the desire that my daughter's mum and I have to keep her safe online. A desire which has been informed by our own fuck-ups and near misses, like all parents. I hope that it's clear that my restrictive stance is born out of a sense of protectiveness, and a deep and keen awareness of how damaging this stuff can be to a young mind, both in the abstract from a research perspective, and also a personal one. I can see from this discussion and the valuable contributions from those who have been in a similar position that perhaps my absolutist stance is not going to end up doing what I think it will, and it's given me a lot to think about in terms of what I'm doing right and what I'm getting wrong.
If I have given the impression that my daughter's phone is locked down completely with no access to anything remotely unhealthy on it, then that is wrong. She uses WhatsApp to chat with her friends without restriction, she can watch up to 90 minutes of YouTube a day, and she just recently got access to Pinterest (at her request), and I do intend to continue slowly loosening the permissions on her phone more and more as she gets older. The plan was never to simply loose her onto the world and the Internet at 18, with no experience or clear idea of how to stay safe and healthy. The occasional check-ins with her device were to ensure that nothing dodgy is going on that she doesn't recognise as dodgy, not to snoop on her texts. And I should clarify, we've done that twice in the two years she's had a phone.
Returning to this discussion today has been really valuable for me. Of course we all bring our own experiences and baggage to this discussion, and reading some of everyone else's stories with highly restrictive parents has been eye-opening to some of the pitfalls in my approach. On the other hand, for those of you who did have and share this experience; your narratives and stories about how it impacted you are not the only ones which exist, and there are those whom I know in real life who have turned out to have good relationships with technology, their parents, and the Internet, despite restrictions being in place as children (myself included).
Above all, my daughter is—to most of the participants in the conversation—an abstract concept, devoid of personality, agency, opinion, and image. Except to me. I alone in all of this here conversation know her, and (I hope) understand who she is. You do not see her quickness to trust, her naivety, her impulsivity. You also don't see her honesty, openness, and thoughtfulness. To you she is a totem that represents another parent making similar mistakes to those yours did, but to me she is my world, and a (somewhat) fragile being who needs boundaries and rules which accommodate who she is and the realities of the world we live in. -
Comment on Inside the TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people in ~tech
0d_billie Link ParentWe've spent her whole life building our trust in her and her sense of independence. It's not that I don't trust her with social media, it's that I don't trust these platforms to make a product...We've spent her whole life building our trust in her and her sense of independence. It's not that I don't trust her with social media, it's that I don't trust these platforms to make a product which is possible to engage with in a healthy manner for someone with an immature prefrontal cortex. Every study done by reputable organisations shows that social media is bad for the mental health of children. You might argue that sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll are also bad for the mental health of children, but the difference is that those things are considerably less easily accessed than pulling out your pocket rectangle. You can't go and have a quick bit of sex when you're bored in a queue.
We're not trying to scare her into anything; but we're trying to navigate a world in which tech companies are vying so hard for users' attention that they are not stopping to consider the health ramifications of making their product addictive within the first 35 minutes of use.
Teens subjected to an abstinence-only approach to social media are going to end up suffering the negative consequences at higher rates than their peers
Time will tell, I suppose. I have yet to be convinced that there are sufficiently dangerous consequences to not being permitted access to social media. Within my peer group, I can tell you that the happier people are the ones who don't use it.
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Comment on Inside the TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people in ~tech
0d_billie Link ParentBecause we spent the first 11 years of her life teaching her that she can come to us with anything she needs to, and we still keep that lesson going. She knows to (and has) come to us when...Because we spent the first 11 years of her life teaching her that she can come to us with anything she needs to, and we still keep that lesson going. She knows to (and has) come to us when something doesn't feel right, both in the before time and with her phone.
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Comment on Inside the TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people in ~tech
0d_billie Link ParentWe weren't specifically checking for nudes. We were responding to the school asking us for screenshots of some group chats which were linked to allegations of cyber-bullying, and in the process...We weren't specifically checking for nudes. We were responding to the school asking us for screenshots of some group chats which were linked to allegations of cyber-bullying, and in the process discovered that she'd been posing naked for pictures.
In an ideal world, I agree with you; it should be on her to decide what a healthy relationship with her phone looks like. But at 13 and younger, she is not sufficiently developed to have that self-control, especially in the current landscape of apps/platforms which are built specifically to hold your attention for as long as is possible.
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Comment on Inside the TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people in ~tech
0d_billie Link ParentWhat would you suggest as an alternative?What would you suggest as an alternative?
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Comment on Inside the TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people in ~tech
0d_billie (edited )Link ParentHer mother and I got her a (cheap) smartphone for her 11th birthday. With the gift came a sit-down conversation about trust, safety on the Internet, and the importance of having limits on screen...Her mother and I got her a (cheap) smartphone for her 11th birthday. With the gift came a sit-down conversation about trust, safety on the Internet, and the importance of having limits on screen time (even for adults). We embraced that she would need one for her journey to and from school, and we didn't want her to feel ostracised from her friends.
We immediately installed the safety features that Google offers, and have set it so that her phone essentially becomes a brick at bedtime. She can't install any apps without approval from me, her mum, or her step-dad, and I have placed app time limits on a number of things such as YouTube, Netflix, Disney+, etc. I don't mind her watching TV, but I don't want her developing phone neck at (now) 13.
We talked about how if any of her parental figures asked to inspect the phone, then she was to hand it over, no quibbles, no just finishing a thing. We said that we weren't going to do regular inspections, but would be checking from time to time to make sure she's not doing anything inappropriate.
And we talked about what a ban schema would look like. A first offence would carry a ban of 1 week, the second 2, the third 4, the fourth 8, and so on. We've only once had to ban her phone, although during the ban we discovered some inappropriate pictures that she'd taken of herself, and so we immediately escalated up to 4 weeks and had a lot more conversations about safety on the Internet.
I'm sure there's an element of her telling me what I want to hear, but in the course of that month she told me several times that she was glad to be having a break from her phone, and wanted to reevaluate her relationship with it when she got it back. I've yet to really see that happen, she'll happily spend a whole day glued to the thing unless told to put it down and do something else.
When she turned 13 she asked us if she could have access to social media. Her mum and I had discussed it prior, and had initially decided that she could have one single one, since it does keep her separate from her friends. However, some trust issues (both related and unrelated) had cropped up so we changed our minds and said no to social media. And it'll be a good while longer before I'm happy for her to have it. I remember when I was a teenager and one of my friends at school wasn't allowed to have MSN messenger, and we all thought her parents were so strict, and I know it really bothered her that she couldn't be included in online banter. I never dreamed that I would be such a parent, but stories like this, and the most recent Tantacrul video are making me rethink what she can and can't be allowed to do on her phone. The more I read about smartphone addiction, and the perils of social media, the more I am convinced that giving a child a smartphone is roughly equivalent to giving them a packet of cigarettes and saying "now don't smoke too much!" Fortunately for my daughter, her mother and I are a good team about this, even though we're not together any more.
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Comment on Inside the TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people in ~tech
0d_billie LinkSee also: How TikTok Live Became ‘A Strip Club Filled With 15-Year-Olds’. I am beyond relieved that I don't permit my daughter to have any social media on her phone. Jesus fuck.See also: How TikTok Live Became ‘A Strip Club Filled With 15-Year-Olds’.
I am beyond relieved that I don't permit my daughter to have any social media on her phone. Jesus fuck.
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Comment on What Facebook has done to us in ~tech
0d_billie LinkDisclaimer: I'm only about half an hour into this 3-hour long video. I really enjoy Tantacrul's work. He has some great videos on various musical topics, and takes a look at notation software...Disclaimer: I'm only about half an hour into this 3-hour long video.
I really enjoy Tantacrul's work. He has some great videos on various musical topics, and takes a look at notation software through the lens of a software designer, and invariably humorously skewers the design decisions made for such big beasts of applications. Recently he's leaned away from critiquing visual design and has put his time into being the lead designer for MuseScore and (more recently) Audacity. Videos still come out from him, and I've enjoyed all of his most recent ones. They're very well researched and presented.
While I haven't yet gotten to the stage of finding out how (if at all) this particular essay links to being a musician, I have a strong suspicion that it will be a lively presentation of key issues surrounding trying to build and maintain a social media following as an artist as the platforms currently operate. In short, it's pretty shitty, and you're never guaranteed that your content will be served to all of your fans in a timely manner (or at all). I hate the reliance on social media as a musician, and I hate that it's basically the only game in town for growing your audience.
Thus far, he's been talking about the history of Facebook, and how it rose to prominence, differentiated itself from other social media of the era, and how its design morphed and changed over those early years. It's an interesting watch purely from an Internet-historian perspective!
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What Facebook has done to us
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Dream Theater - Night Terror (2024)
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It's very dry, and it's a pastiche of 19th century novels in tone and style. With the addition of footnotes and an academic voice, it can come across as a challenging read (tonally, not in terms of your reading level). I struggled the first time as well, but on a second try I really enjoyed it. Have you tried the audiobook?