To have goals and ambitions. For the longest time, I've been in survival mode. Even later in life, the past ten years, I didn't need to be. Yet survival mode is what I'm accustomed to. I want to:...
To have goals and ambitions.
For the longest time, I've been in survival mode. Even later in life, the past ten years, I didn't need to be. Yet survival mode is what I'm accustomed to.
I want to:
Cycle 10+ miles 3x a week when the weather allows again
Lift 3x a week to build up some muscle and get the testosterone flowing
Lose (a metric %#&$ton) of weight. I've been in decent shape before. Yet I've not been at a healthy weight in several decades.
Someone else said it: be a less selfish husband.
Build a small business that is enough to pay the bills while acting congruently. I'm afraid I'll fail here. It's a moonshot for me. And it'd feel worse not to try after a lifetime of accepting the jobs put in front of me despite their toxicity.
They all sounds great! But try not to get overwhelmed by trying to do too many things gs at once. It’s what I always do and I’m only succeeding in failing a lots of things at once! Maybe I should...
They all sounds great! But try not to get overwhelmed by trying to do too many things gs at once. It’s what I always do and I’m only succeeding in failing a lots of things at once! Maybe I should take my own advice now I think about it…
Oops. Too late! I can't cycle and lift right now owing to too much ice outside. At my weight, my bike is too top heavy: too much wipe out risk. That has me sticking to lifting for now while the...
Oops. Too late!
I can't cycle and lift right now owing to too much ice outside. At my weight, my bike is too top heavy: too much wipe out risk. That has me sticking to lifting for now while the ice remains (likely for weeks, maybe more).
The marriage? Ongoing. Couples counseling. Personal therapy. Lots of hard work.
The business? Been on hold over the holidays and due to personal reasons. Hoping to resume this week.
You like to ask these forcing function questions, don't you? Not bad. I'm planning to lift tomorrow. My wife is going to practice her life coaching training on me again in the next few days to...
You like to ask these forcing function questions, don't you? Not bad.
I'm planning to lift tomorrow. My wife is going to practice her life coaching training on me again in the next few days to help jumpstart my business work.
This is the first year I feel I've stumped myself on what I want to accomplish. For years it was always: quit smoking, lose weight, and read more. 2 years ago I quit smoking cigarettes, and...
This is the first year I feel I've stumped myself on what I want to accomplish.
For years it was always: quit smoking, lose weight, and read more.
2 years ago I quit smoking cigarettes, and haven't touched them since.
Last year I read 62 books, far surpassing my usual yearly goal of 12.
While I'm not "thin" my job forces me to be active and I'm eating healthier than ever, and I feel good, and am content with it at this point.
Getting off Instagram was pretty big for me too, although I have a bit of fomo. It's a strange goal, to willingly distance yourself from where everyone in my peer group seems to be.
But it has lead me to other external ambitions, I suppose. I've taken an interest in programming applications and website now that LLMs seem to be half decent at rudimentary programming these days, my new website is looking great. It would be nice to continue making projects, and hope that it may possibly help me find another job in the new year.
But other than that, I want to work on being a better husband. Be less selfish, take care of our house more. A big one now that you have me thinking, is that I want to foster meaningful in-person relationships with distant college friends outside of social media by sending letters and small gifts, or whatever feels right.
I recently made one to catalog my personal collection of books, and it turned out useable. I used Flask with plain HTML and CSS, but now after making my portfolio website in React I want to...
I recently made one to catalog my personal collection of books, and it turned out useable.
I used Flask with plain HTML and CSS, but now after making my portfolio website in React I want to rebuild the book app in React, but it feels daunting and I'm not entirely sure how to begin rebuilding something like that.
Perhaps when I do so I turn the book idea into something more social. I hate Goodreads with a passion, and one of the other big social book apps called 'Fable' was in the news lately because they set their chatgpt plugin to "playfully roast" their users during their end of year stats but many of them turned inappropriate. Seems like there could be a vacuum to fill.
Mostly just dreaming though, I'm not good enough at developing to be confident enough to release anything like that, even in an open source setting.
I have a bunch of random domains for me, my wife, and just ideas in general, so perhaps I start making things to host on them. I really enjoy the whole pipeline of developing/deploying/serving/using so as long as it has a use case for me I'll explore it.
Ha, you're like me, I created a site where I have my movie reviews, all auto generated via python, plus I have a bunch of ideas in the pipeline that simply need some spare time.
Ha, you're like me, I created a site where I have my movie reviews, all auto generated via python, plus I have a bunch of ideas in the pipeline that simply need some spare time.
Well luckily, I have already been working on a game for a year already! So hopefully that one but I just broke one of my rules and started another, much more simplistic game in hopes to get...
Well luckily, I have already been working on a game for a year already! So hopefully that one but I just broke one of my rules and started another, much more simplistic game in hopes to get something out the door.
Both of them are pokemon/digimon style mon tamers :D.
Refresh the apartment: declutter, fix / replace old appliances, deep clean, repaint walls, and a few other things. The first step is already in progress. Visit my friends in US in the summer. It's...
Refresh the apartment: declutter, fix / replace old appliances, deep clean, repaint walls, and a few other things. The first step is already in progress.
Visit my friends in US in the summer. It's a really big trip for me as I live in Poland.
After 1) and 2) are done, adopt a new cat. Our old, sick kitty passed away in November so we currently have no pets, but we want to have one again before the year is over.
Thank you! I'm planning to adopt one from our local shelter, the folks there can usually pick a good kitty match for each person. I'm hoping for a gentle, calm kitty, around 0.5-1.5yo, one that...
Thank you! I'm planning to adopt one from our local shelter, the folks there can usually pick a good kitty match for each person. I'm hoping for a gentle, calm kitty, around 0.5-1.5yo, one that likes lots of petting and cuddles. Would also love it to have longer, fluffy fur like my last kitty, but we shall see!
Are you planning to also visit NY? If you have never been to America, I strongly suggest you try to hit up a city in rural pen state, and also day trip to NY city. You don't realize how diverse...
Are you planning to also visit NY? If you have never been to America, I strongly suggest you try to hit up a city in rural pen state, and also day trip to NY city. You don't realize how diverse America is until you have experienced some of the diversity first hand.
Get a job! Stay in the job! Earn income so I at least break even. Somehow manage to take care of my physical and mental health while working too. I've not been employed for nearly 2 years now. It...
Get a job! Stay in the job! Earn income so I at least break even.
Somehow manage to take care of my physical and mental health while working too.
I've not been employed for nearly 2 years now. It was due to my health. I got sick and it was pretty bad to the point I couldn't leave my apartment. But I'm a lot better now and pretty close to normal! Or my approximation of normal.
For me, my New Year's resolution is: no social media before noon. I like it too much to quit, but I want to make it something I don't reach for before getting some stuff done. Also, learning to...
For me, my New Year's resolution is: no social media before noon. I like it too much to quit, but I want to make it something I don't reach for before getting some stuff done.
Also, learning to cook a few dishes so I don't rely on my wife so much.
Also, vague musical ambitions having to do with being more social. Maybe start taking formal lessons or going to accordion club meetings?
My favorites for simplicity are grilled steak/salmon (on an outdoor grill, which equates to almost zero cleanup) roast chicken (line with tin foil to minimize cleanup) and pasta. They are all...
My favorites for simplicity are grilled steak/salmon (on an outdoor grill, which equates to almost zero cleanup) roast chicken (line with tin foil to minimize cleanup) and pasta. They are all simple, but none of them are easy to perfect.
My favorite frozen food is chicken tortilla soup in a pressure cooker. It isn't simple to make, but it holds up well in the freezer, and it's just as easy to make 4-8 meals as it is to make 1-2 meals.
Last year's goal was to complete my schooling and earn my teaching license. I accomplished that handily. This year, my main goal is to find a teaching position in my local district (preferably) or...
Last year's goal was to complete my schooling and earn my teaching license. I accomplished that handily.
This year, my main goal is to find a teaching position in my local district (preferably) or a neighboring district that pays well. I understand it's a shallow motivation, but I'm entering the game late (I'm turning 36 this year) and don't feel like I have the time to invest in a low income school while still being able to support my family.
The most difficult part of all this is going to be having the patience to wait for spots to open up in my preferred districts - many schools won't post these openings until March or later, and it's stressing me out having to sit on my hands for such a long time.
There's already some openings that I like, but they're not ones I love and I don't want to be locked into a contract and have something better come along.
Edit: some other minor goals -
Bike more in my area and visit more forest preserves that I haven't reached yet. My county is expanding the trails and paths, and I plan to explore them all.
Spend more time with my kids. Now that I'm not in school and working concurrently, I hope to have more time to be with them.
Complete my knitted blanket. It's likely going to take me a few more months.
Go camping. I haven't gone in years, and I've been itching to.
Are you planning to take the kids camping? That would be like a two for one. Have you figured out which camp spot to book, and when reservations open up for summer?
Are you planning to take the kids camping?
That would be like a two for one.
Have you figured out which camp spot to book, and when reservations open up for summer?
I have a vague goal of trading more of my after work habitual mindless phone scrolling time for hobby-related activities. I don't mind some phone time to decompress, but it feels bad wasting a...
I have a vague goal of trading more of my after work habitual mindless phone scrolling time for hobby-related activities. I don't mind some phone time to decompress, but it feels bad wasting a whole evening. I've already read four books and put a few hours of practice on my saxophone since new year by trying to be more mindful of how I spend my evenings.
This year's more measurable goal is getting my healthcare back on track. I'm back on traditional insurance so the plan is to knock out annual checkups and get some desperately needed new glasses. My first appointment is next week
I want to continue going to the gym, I started 3 months ago and actually enjoy going three times a week! Then I want to do another massive road trip. In 2018 I did a 2500 mile road trip in $1000...
I want to continue going to the gym, I started 3 months ago and actually enjoy going three times a week!
Then I want to do another massive road trip. In 2018 I did a 2500 mile road trip in $1000 cars with friends (emulating old top gear budget challenges), and in 2021 I did a 6500 mile road trip all over the eastern US with my Miata. So I either want to do another friends road trip or, if they can’t go this year, do a west coast road trip in the Miata.
Lastly, I want to progress on the road to home ownership. It’s becoming a more realistic goal for me, even with these interest rates, due to my credit union offering great loan programs and due to a number of $250k or so properties popping up in my area, especially townhomes. I would love my own single family property but I’m at the point where I’d rather be building equity in a townhome over continuing to rent. Sharing one wall with a neighbor isn’t “ideal” but I share walls in my rental townhome and it’s been fine. There are homes in that range, they just tend to be older and need more work than a townhome or the same price. I am handy, but I’m also single and don’t want to have $20,000 of surprise expenses in the first couple years of ownership, so that’s why I might lean nicer townhome over less nice house.
Get back into shape! For the past two years I haven’t exercised at all and the previous two years I exercised 6 days a week. So far, I’ve just started doing very, very small things every day just...
Get back into shape!
For the past two years I haven’t exercised at all and the previous two years I exercised 6 days a week. So far, I’ve just started doing very, very small things every day just to get going again. I know if I tried to go from 0-100 I would never keep it up.
Also, move back to the PNW (USA). I posted here almost exactly a year ago mentioning I was moving to Colorado (USA) and I’ve found that it’s not for me! Money lost; lessons learned. I’ve a new appreciation for what the PNW had to offer and now have a very clear goal to work toward.
Well, in order to be fair about the rest of this, I’ll have to disclose more about where I live so this only applies to Denver, CO vs Portland, OR and Seattle, WA (I did not live long-term...
Well, in order to be fair about the rest of this, I’ll have to disclose more about where I live so this only applies to Denver, CO vs Portland, OR and Seattle, WA (I did not live long-term anywhere else in these states)
The people - I was much more likely to find people that had similar social values. I live in Denver right now and while it’s probably more Left-leaning than a lot of other cities around, I’ve met so many MAGA ass-hats, racists, and transphobes in the year I’ve been here. There is also a lot of entitlement (I can’t think of a better word right now) when it comes to everyday rules like speed limits and parking or now that I’m writing it out just car-culture in general. People that I meet through the same means I was meeting folks in Portland/Seattle I’m finding I have much less in common with. Sports and hiking/camping/“Type-2 fun” are 99% of hobbies for people I’ve met. I don’t share these hobbies outside of casual hiking.
Public transit - While I do own a car, I never really used it in Portland and Seattle unless it was a special occasion (moving, hiking, roadtrips, etc). In Denver you ~can~ get around without a car but it would be miserable and take 3x as long as driving. Outside of Denver you’re screwed. I don’t want to go back to driving all of the time and that’s what has happened.
Cost of living - holy shit did I not do enough research. Portland (we’re not talking Seattle this time) is actually noticeably cheaper to exist. On paper Denver is cheaper but now that I’ve gotten here it’s definitely not. Rent is about the same but car and health insurance (marketplace, not via job) are much more expensive. Car insurance alone was 3x more expensive. Health insurance was 2x more expensive. Food here is weirdly expensive. Sales tax exists here but I know Oregon was special in that regard. Still have to file taxes with the state on top of everything. I’m a 1099 worker so it sucks.
Environment - this is 100% personal preference but, aside from the sun (the glorious sun — seriously as someone living with depression, this part has been a lifesaver), I prefer PNW geography/environment. So much more green space compared to Colorado for obvious reasons. I didn’t think I would care as much as I do. I don’t have a desire to go out into nature as much as I did in the PNW and I don’t do winter sports so I feel like a lot of the benefits of this part of the country are wasted on me. The roads and sidewalks are a lot more fucked up.
Misc - Everything here is nitpicky and just observational through my personal lens and may not matter to you or anyone else reading: food here isn’t great. You really have to hunt for good food (usually outside of Denver — Aurora has better food!) I haven’t spent much time outside of Denver and Aurora so I can’t speak for, say, Boulder or Colorado Springs. Traffic sucks because everyone here is reliant on cars, large portion of drivers ignore traffic laws — particularly speed limits and red lights. I don’t have a bike but bike lanes are not common and there are lot of big trucks and SUVs that don’t give enough room to folks on bikes. Less urban density. Way less visible queer community. Just so, so many bro-types.
Just something else strange I’ve been reading about - supposedly Denver has a higher unhoused population than Portland but they are not nearly as visible throughout the city like they are in Portland/Seattle. That was the first thing I noticed and was surprised by. I don’t know if they are just doing more sweeps or forcing them further out of the inner city but if you’ve ever been to Portland or Seattle these folks are unfortunately everywhere all the time. The sentiment here towards the unhoused is pretty fucked despite there being a less visible population.
I don’t know if it’s just been my personal experience but the job market for me has been horrible. I do audio/video production and cannot find a job in that AT ALL. I had one client when I first moved here but they never paid on time so I stopped working with them. Had another client for a web design gig that I had to take to small claims court (won luckily) because they refused to pay me at all. I had to take a job doing something completely unrelated to any skill or experience I had and it pays far, far less than my normal audio/video work, so that’s been a struggle. I can’t speak for other industries but just thought that was worth mentioning.
Some things I do like better - flights out of Denver are cheaper and you can go anywhere in the US with options (I have fam in the south and it’s cheap and easy). The weather and sun like previously mentioned. If you like winter sports, obviously this is the place to be. It’s doable in the PNW but it seems to be almost the default hobby here. If you’re into EDM and festivals/raves, you are among your people here for sure. I had no idea about that.
I realize that this is a very long, negative reply. I wish I didn’t feel this way about the city, I really really wanted to love it here. You may have a completely different, more positive experience here, particularly if you’re not moving to Denver since that is the only place I can speak on. Lots of locals here as opposed to Portland/Seattle so I read that as people loving where they live enough to stay (I haven’t looked into that thought, just my natural reaction). I miss seeing people with blue hair and posters for weird bands and all the strange and sometimes silliness of Portland in general. And I cannot emphasize enough how much I miss not driving.
I actually really appreciate all your thoughts! I've always considered Denver as a potential place to move, but I've only stayed there once for a ski trip. I totally get the vibes you're talking...
I actually really appreciate all your thoughts! I've always considered Denver as a potential place to move, but I've only stayed there once for a ski trip.
I totally get the vibes you're talking about. I've spent a lot of time in Seattle, and I've taken the Amtrak to Portland too. While you still have to use a car occasionally, you can get away with just taking a Zipcar or rental occasionally. My brother-in-law bikes everywhere in Seattle and has never owned a car in the city!
food here isn’t great. You really have to hunt for good food
This is the only thing I'm curious about. My understanding is Colorado has some fantastic southwestern food which is a genre I love and find lacking in the PNW. I have noticed Portland's dining is better than Seattle's on average. I've had a lot of good experiences at the high-end establishments in Seattle though.
Become a better runner while running less. I'm still relatively new so I think doing more cycling and using my rowing machine more will be beneficial. Hopefully I can swim more too. The marathon I...
Become a better runner while running less. I'm still relatively new so I think doing more cycling and using my rowing machine more will be beneficial. Hopefully I can swim more too. The marathon I ran last year went great so I'd like to keep getting better and finding how good it can feel to run at a good clip for long distances if I'm properly in shape.
One part of that will be needing to keep losing weight. I've more or less plateaued (flat valleyed?) for a while but I know I have quite a bit more I can lose while being healthier. I'll need to make sure I consume enough protein to support a calorie deficit while staying active.
That will also help me to do more varied rock climbing. I started that in the past couple months and I want to have fun getting better at it, but I don't necessarily want to make it a focus in the way that I'll do specific training plans for running. I don't want to be the best ever; I just want to be able to do more types of stuff and some of those get pretty difficult when you've got too much extra weight literally holding you down, especially when you've got arms as long as mine. They can be helpful when you want to reach higher holds, but that's basically a cheat code. They make it harder to get all scrunched up and stay close to the wall, so if I'm trying to just have fun and not win competitions, long arms just seem to make it easier to climb less...
Non-athletically, I'm moving overseas, so I want to do a decent amount of traveling and to work on sharpening my French while focusing on acquiring skills in the local language.
I'm going to try to have it all like Liz Lemon, probably fail miserably like Liz Lemon, and then try to still have a great year!
My theme for this year is health, so my goal is to get my health back. Pre covid, I used to go bouldering a few times a week and was in great shape. After a string of injuries, some of which...
My theme for this year is health, so my goal is to get my health back. Pre covid, I used to go bouldering a few times a week and was in great shape. After a string of injuries, some of which popped up with no causes, I'm now at a place where I can't sit, stand, or walk for long periods of time.
I've been stressed by work and long term exhaustion for many years and I think (or at least hope) it contributed greatly to my random physical ailments, but I'm doing a lot better, mentally, after getting layed off. I'm on cobra for insurance this year to try and get all my medical stuff figured out and hopefully resolved. After 3 months of freedom, I'm still burned out but no longer feel dread or the oppressing doom when I sit at my computer to be productive, whatever "productivity" would be. I recently started to work on a video game. My career started in the video games industry so I have experience in this, but this is a much easier type of game to work on than what I used to do. So I guess my second goal is to make progress on this game, but not at the expense of my health. I'm fortunate to be able to focus on my health this year.
I turn 45 this year, and I feel like the idea of ever being able to retire is basically a pipe dream at this point. I don't want to be a programmer forever, so my longer-term goal is to start...
I turn 45 this year, and I feel like the idea of ever being able to retire is basically a pipe dream at this point. I don't want to be a programmer forever, so my longer-term goal is to start working towards making some kind of sustainable income as an author, ideally to a point where I could think about quitting my day job some time after my kids are done college (i.e., within the next 10 years) and eke out some kind of post-software-engineer living. My short term goal for 2025 is to get at least a couple short stories written and submitted to publications, if not actually published somewhere. I feel like that's a reasonable goal even while working full time, and should give me a better idea of how realistic the longer term idea might be.
If you're paid a decent salary, have you not been able to save up and set aside money for retirement? If you're in the US, you'll also be eligible to make catch-up contributions when you turn 50.
If you're paid a decent salary, have you not been able to save up and set aside money for retirement? If you're in the US, you'll also be eligible to make catch-up contributions when you turn 50.
I have a 401k that I contribute to and some other savings, but nowhere near retirement levels. I think I've read that by the time you hit 45 you should have saved around 3x your annual salary, but...
I have a 401k that I contribute to and some other savings, but nowhere near retirement levels. I think I've read that by the time you hit 45 you should have saved around 3x your annual salary, but I'm probably clocking in at well under half my salary (and I've optimized my career for quality of life over maximizing salary, so it really doesn't feel like that much at all). I have no idea how a family with kids to raise, a house to maintain, and (especially!!) medical expenses can do it. Both of my kids are about to hit college age too, so I expect the savings to take a significant hit from that soon.
This is sounding more whiny than I intended. I understand that I am to blame for my situation and I definitely could have made different choices in life to improve the situation. I'm already in it though, so need to figure out how I'm going to survive once I inevitably age out of being a hire-able software engineer.
What fund is the 401(k) invested in? I’m assuming it’s a target date fund? If I may ask, how much is in there now? What are your other savings in the form of? For the kids, if they want to go to...
What fund is the 401(k) invested in? I’m assuming it’s a target date fund? If I may ask, how much is in there now?
What are your other savings in the form of? For the kids, if they want to go to college, do not pull anything out of your retirement. You take a big tax hit.
Have you not been able to save about 15% of your pretax income for retirement every year? It's not too late to get on top of it and comfortably retire by 67! The best retirement advice is probably...
Have you not been able to save about 15% of your pretax income for retirement every year? It's not too late to get on top of it and comfortably retire by 67! The best retirement advice is probably r/bogleheads though I'd also recommend checking r/personalfinance since they have a fantastic financial flowchart.
The idea of still working as a software engineer into my mid 60s just seems so unappealing to me. What this whole thread has helped me realize is that my goal is maybe less related to retirement...
The idea of still working as a software engineer into my mid 60s just seems so unappealing to me. What this whole thread has helped me realize is that my goal is maybe less related to retirement as it is to a desire to find a way to break out of this thing I've been grinding away at for the last 25 years and find a way to do something more creatively/artistically fulfilling without winding up on the streets in the process. Like I've already reached the level cap on my career and have gone through all the end game content and want to try out a whole new game.
Every year, I grow my beard out until the Vikings are eliminated from Super Bowl contention. So my ambition is to keep this puppy growing until next year! I'm doing my part!
Every year, I grow my beard out until the Vikings are eliminated from Super Bowl contention. So my ambition is to keep this puppy growing until next year! I'm doing my part!
I also share a lot of the same goals as others have mentioned, mainly being eating better, learning to cook some more meals, losing weight, reading more etc. My main goals however are as I am (in...
I also share a lot of the same goals as others have mentioned, mainly being eating better, learning to cook some more meals, losing weight, reading more etc.
My main goals however are as I am (in theory haha) going to become a social studies teacher, I would like to find some like minded individuals online and work with them to make all of our lives easier. I have pipe dreams of a teacher collective where we make really nice lesson plans and curriculum by splitting up the work. I also want to continue to move away from corporations, so I would like to get my NAS up and running (I think it has a backplane issue atm).
Specifically I would like to use nixOS to self host, and then when I am at a stable point document everything so that others can use it as a jumping off point for self-hosting on, and learning nixOS
I have yeah! It is pretty nice! There are a few other AI services that are marketed towards teachers that are very helpful, difit (or maybe diffit) being the big one that comes to mind
I have yeah! It is pretty nice! There are a few other AI services that are marketed towards teachers that are very helpful, difit (or maybe diffit) being the big one that comes to mind
I personally love New Year's Resolutions as I've found they're a great way to focus on what I want to do in the coming year. It's helpful to reflect and figure out what big things I want to do...
I personally love New Year's Resolutions as I've found they're a great way to focus on what I want to do in the coming year. It's helpful to reflect and figure out what big things I want to do with my finite time.
My goals for this year are a mix of personal growth and trying to better enjoy my time. I've really taken various tips and comments from Tildes to heart! I truly appreciate the community here.
Some of my New Year's resolutions:
Learn a bit of Rust
I wanna know what the hype is about, and I hate Java.
Get to level 60 in Wanikani
I've been learning Japanese, and I'm currently at level 41 (already completed Bunpro).
Play at least 12 new video games this year
The game just has to be new to me, not a new release. My backlog is big enough as is!
Read at least one book
I used to be a big bibliophile. I'd like to enjoy at least one book this year to see if I can get some of that joy back. I'm not sure whether visual novels should count for this resolution?
Visual novels are so great, but IMO read a real book :). That uninterrupted flow of prose activates parts of your brain you can't get from other media. (Probably.) I need to read more books as...
Visual novels are so great, but IMO read a real book :). That uninterrupted flow of prose activates parts of your brain you can't get from other media. (Probably.) I need to read more books as well. Started Ministry for the Future as an audiobook, but something about the delivery wasn't landing great for me, so I'll start over at some point as a regular book. Not sure if it'll be in time for the ~books club discussion.
But if you have time, keep reading visual novels too!
The visual novels are great for studying Japanese, so they're multi-purpose! You're right that I should pick up a real book though. I've mostly been reading manga for pleasure and non-fiction for...
The visual novels are great for studying Japanese, so they're multi-purpose! You're right that I should pick up a real book though. I've mostly been reading manga for pleasure and non-fiction for professional development reasons. Maybe I need to pick some good fiction again?
I have one main professional goal and one main personal goal. Job wise, I'd like to get promoted or at least get a job at the next level. I've been a junior engineer for the last 1.5 years and I...
I have one main professional goal and one main personal goal.
Job wise, I'd like to get promoted or at least get a job at the next level. I've been a junior engineer for the last 1.5 years and I can get promoted at my current company if I take things seriously and meet the expectations of a mid-level engineer for the next 6 months. However, there's some uncertainty with how my company will operate this year and have heard rumors of potential layoffs. I work on a core team for one of our main products but I think I could be a target for being laid off since my last work rating (before the one that gets finalized in 3 weeks) was a "Meets Some" rather than the "Meets All" I assume they'd look for when figuring out who to keep. At the same time, I kinda do want to switch companies. While my job is cushy and I have no real complaints, the job is a bit boring. It's stable but boring and I kind of want to work on something a bit more exciting. We'll see though.
Personal goal is to just take my health more seriously. I've been overweight for a while and I've done the bare minimum to just maintain that. I'd like to start losing my weight and just start exercising regularly. I've worked out like 4 days this year so far but I want to be a bit more regular with my exercising.
I wish to write 350 words of fiction every weekday. It doesn't sound like much and people online claim to write way faster, but trying to be like them doesn't work for me. Besides, when someone...
I wish to write 350 words of fiction every weekday. It doesn't sound like much and people online claim to write way faster, but trying to be like them doesn't work for me. Besides, when someone says they write thousands of words every day, I wonder how good those words are, and how much of it they can use. With my plan, I will write about 91'000 words in a year. Probably a little less due to tough days in which I cannot write. In any case, that's essentially a novel. A lot of it will be cut in editing or rewritten, but it's a good start. I'm just a very slow writer.
It's better to have an easy goal I can actually meet than a difficult one that will demotivate me.
One is that I want to learn Rust this year. Is there a decent self-directed course anyone can suggest? I come from a kinda shitty mix of experience in Java and familiarity with other languages but...
One is that I want to learn Rust this year. Is there a decent self-directed course anyone can suggest? I come from a kinda shitty mix of experience in Java and familiarity with other languages but without programming in my day to day, and so I often fall off learning new languages or game dev kits quickly... Was different in college when I had more extrinsic motivation, I guess. Something structured well that isn't paced for complete beginners would help.
Also want to figure out the next part of my Pokémon tattoo. Do I want different artists doing each Pokémon? Should I do a Scolipede, Ho-oh, or Shedinja next, or multiple at the same time so they're symmetrical with my Lopunnies? If I do Shedinja, should I do a creepy blackwork style? Decisions decisions. Probably should reach out to the artist I want to help solidify it.
There are some great resources in this repo, and the Rustaceans I've talked to all recommend The Book which is the official guide: https://www.rust-lang.org/learn...
Is there a decent self-directed course anyone can suggest?
There are some great resources in this repo, and the Rustaceans I've talked to all recommend The Book which is the official guide:
Get dual US/UK citizenship. Mum is an English lass who married a US serviceman in 1954 and emigrated here, and since her children were born before she naturalized, we can become UK citizens by...
Get dual US/UK citizenship. Mum is an English lass who married a US serviceman in 1954 and emigrated here, and since her children were born before she naturalized, we can become UK citizens by registration.
My Cassandra sense is quite loud these days, and I'd like options.
https://www.the-sentinel-intelligence.com/p/youre-not-a-fearmonger-you-have-sentinel-f70?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web Sorry for that. I adapted the term from this article, which while not...
Here it is in full. Written by Jessica Wildfire in 2023. Some of us can hear the future. You’ve probably heard about Helen of Troy. She’s blamed for starting the Trojan War. Not many people...
Here it is in full. Written by Jessica Wildfire in 2023.
Some of us can hear the future.
You’ve probably heard about Helen of Troy. She’s blamed for starting the Trojan War. Not many people remember Cassandra. She predicted it. In Aeschylus’s tragedy Agamemnon, you get Cassandra’s full story. In some ways, the Trojan War is really about a bunch of dudes who don’t listen to a woman, and it leads straight to the collapse of their civilization. In later retellings, they ignore her twice.
Cassandra doesn’t exactly ask for the gift of prophecy. The Greek god Apollo falls in love with her. He puts her under a spell in one of his temples. Then he tells his pet snakes to go lick her ears. When she wakes up, she can hear the future. Apollo tries to seduce Cassandra, but she’s just not that into him. He has a meltdown. Zeus tells him no backsies on divine gifts, so he finds a loophole. He curses her. Now when Cassandra hears the future, nobody believes her. If you want to drive someone insane, that’s a good start.
Not only does Cassandra predict the Trojan war, but she also warns everyone about the Trojan Horse. Once again, nobody listens. They start calling her names. She tries to smash the horse open with an axe and gets dragged away screaming. Many of us have been identifying strongly with Cassandra over the last few years. We watch the media downplay and dismiss one threat after another. We endure endless opinion pieces about everything from climate alarmism to coronaphobia. Influencers accuse us of hurting everyone’s mental health. Strangers call us doomers and fearmongers. Our friends and family treat us like we’re paranoid. When we share dozens or even hundreds of studies, they refuse to look at them. They say, “I don’t want to read anything that’ll bring me down.” “I’m trying to stay positive.”
Americans and Westerners in general are suffering from a pandemic of denial, wishful thinking, and toxic positivity. It impedes us at every turn, on almost every serious issue. It exacerbates our existing anxiety and contributes to our sense of despair about the future of the planet. Here’s the thing: You’re not a fearmonger. You have sentinel intelligence.
Sentinel intelligence refers to a special cognitive ability that allows someone to detect threats before anyone else. Richard A. Clarke and R.P. Eddy talk about this trait in their book, Warnings: Finding Cassandras to Stop Catastrophes. They review a number of natural and economic disasters throughout history. As they write, “in each instance a Cassandra was pounding the table and warning us precisely about the disasters that came as promised.” Not only were they ignored, but “the people with the power to respond often put more effort into discounting the Cassandra than saving lives and resources.”
If you have sentinel intelligence, your brain can aggregate and sift through extraordinary amounts of information in a very short period of time, especially when it comes to seeing latent or hidden dangers. You don’t get stymied by what Clarke and Eddy call the “magnitude of overload.”
In some ways, it’s a superpower.
Research on sensitive individuals confirms how sentinels and Cassandras think. Social psychologist Tsachi Ein-Dor writes that some of us "are chronically hypervigilant and constantly alert to potential threats and dangers. Other individuals, once alerted to a threat, are self-reliant and likely to take protective actions rapidly and effectively." In other words, we're hardwired alarm systems. Groups are more likely to survive when they have a mix of people who are skilled at detecting, communicating, and acting on threats to their survival.
Some of us can identify threats just by knowing that something's off. One study in Nature Scientific Reports describes this ability as ‘Scene Gist’. As they explain, "Scene gist extracted rapidly from the environment may help people detect threats." The shapes and contours of a landscape can trigger our threat brains even before we know the details of what we're looking at. The findings suggest that scene gist extends beyond scanning your surroundings for patterns. It could apply to evaluating other types of input. Like data.
If you have sentinel intelligence, you probably know what it feels like to always have your threat brain on. You know how it feels when you're assessing and analyzing information and something feels odd, even before you can articulate exactly what it is. That's scene gist. There's an avenue of research in psychology called threat sensitivity theory, where researchers study how individuals identify and respond to danger. As Samantha Denefrio explains, some individuals show an "exagerated threat sensitivity." On the one hand, it can be maladaptive. On the other, it could save you from a deadly virus or a climate disaster.
Threat sensitivity lives on a spectrum. As Stephen Ristvedt writes in Heliyon, "People on one end... are dispositionally hypersensitive to possible threat and thus more prone to anxiety and avoidance. Those on the other end... are relatively insensitive to threats and thus more likely... to take unnecessary risks."
Some research describes sentinels as flowers. A study in Translational Psychiatry looked at how college students respond to their environment. They found that around 30 percent react strongly to external stimuli, 40 percent show a moderate reaction, and about 30 percent show a weak reaction. They describe the low-sensitivity group as dandelions and the moderate-sensitivity group as tulips. They call the high-sensitivity group orchids.
Orchids experience more intense reactions to art and music. They pay more attention to detail. They feel more overwhelmed by too much stimulus, but they simultaneously hyperfocus for long periods of time. They also tend to be quiet introverts. They’re more likely to feel self-conscious, and they’re more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.
These terms like orchid and sentinel describe the same overall group, and we find them throughout history. Psychologists sometimes describe them as highly sensitive. They’re often ignored, even persecuted for speaking truth to power. Our culture dumps a lot of judgment on them, along with anyone who falls somewhere on the neurodivergence spectrum. We’re called weak and emotional, and we’re attacked for feeling too much. The actual data suggests that it’s not a weakness at all. It’s a strength.
It’s not easy to convince someone to take a threat seriously when you’re the only one who sees it. Your mind has pieced together hundreds or even thousands of different data points from research, but also from prior experience and observations. You’ll have trouble unpacking all of that. According to Clarke and Eddy, someone with sentinel intelligence “may at times appear obsessive and even socially abrasive.” We’ve seen a lot of that lately. This research also explains why so many people wait until there’s an overwhelming amount of evidence indicating a threat before doing anything. Dandelions and tulips don’t respond as strongly to their environments: they miss the warning signs.
If you have sentinel intelligence, it probably bewilders you how the vast majority of people can’t or won’t connect all the dots and threads. It’s why you’re often confused with your arch-enemy, the conspiracy theorist. There’s a big difference. Sentinels care about people and want to keep them safe, even strangers. They’re inclined to think about the greater good, and they’re more willing to put up with inconveniences for the sake of protecting their group. They’re also more willing to risk the alienation and sometimes embarrassment of being wrong. They would rather be wrong than risk someone else’s life.
Conspiracy theorists do the opposite. If sentinels display more compassion, conspiracy theorists show higher levels of narcissism and psychopathy. They’re less in tune with their surroundings. They show much less compassion. They place a great deal of importance on their own personal rights and freedoms. They give themselves a special role in revealing the truth. While they portray themselves as highly-informed and rational, they tend to string together random facts and observations into narratives with no internal consistency. These narratives often arrive at violence toward institutions and marginalized groups.
Sentinels usually advocate for simple measures, while conspiracy theorists push for violent interventions or radical solutions, like suspending the constitution or kidnapping governors.
Finally, conspiracy theorists are prone to trivialize and dismiss actual threats like corporate monopolies and disaster capitalism. When the Trojans ignored Cassandra, they indulged in a range of fallacies.
Here’s how Trojan brains think:
That will never happen.
Okay, it’s happening.
It’s not that bad.
Okay, it’s bad.
It won’t last long.
Okay, it will never end.
What’s your solution?
That won’t work.
It’s too late to do anything.
Everyone’s worn out.
There’s no way we could’ve known.
We should just let it happen.
Everyone’s on their own.
Everything’s fine.
I’m trying to stay positive.
It’s not my fault.
It’s your fault.
Psychologists also have a name for the tendency to shrug off warnings. It’s called reactance. Paul Ratner talks about it in Big Think. As he writes, “not many are big fans of being told what to do.” On the other hand, “persisting in your obstinance can feel pretty satisfying.” Jack W. Brehm introduced this idea in his 1966 book, A Theory of Psychological Reactance. His work inspired nearly 60 years of research on how individuals and groups shrug off warnings until it's too late. Then they panic.
So, look: our survival depends on our ability to overcome these psychological hangups. We also have to get better at listening to sentinels instead of pathologizing them and talking about their social anxiety. If you’re a sentinel, it often feels like the slightest suggestion of a threat sets off a cascade of denial and wishful thinking. Now we know why.
Combine all of these psychological hazards, and you arrive at the current state of affairs, a Western society that remains largely unwilling to recognize threats and face them with simple solutions. I don’t think the answer lies in softening our words or coddling fragile egos. That never helps. We just need a little confidence and reassurance that we’re doing the right thing. When minimizers call us hysterical doomers, we can lean on the psychology that says otherwise.
If you see a threat, there’s nothing wrong with speaking up. Someone’s always going to feed their own self-esteem by dismissing you.
Focus on the ones in the middle who might listen. With enough effort, we can get through to the 40 percent of people out there who show some willingness to pay attention. They can fall prey to Trojan brain, but they’ll listen to sentinels. It’s worth trying.
Maybe this last part sounds optimistic. If you have sentinel intelligence, maybe it takes all you’ve got just to protect yourself and endure everyone’s ridicule. Some of us are tired, and we need a break from the role of Cassandra. That’s fine.
Just remember, you’re not a fearmonger. You have a gift from the gods. You can hear the future.
I want to just spend as much time as I can with my first child who is now about half a year old. Part of that is staying off Reddit which I have been really enjoying since the us election ended.
I want to just spend as much time as I can with my first child who is now about half a year old. Part of that is staying off Reddit which I have been really enjoying since the us election ended.
Probably the biggest distinct goal is getting my finances into shape to a degree they’ve never been. I’m extremely fortunate to have well-paid, stable employment and while I haven’t been setting...
Probably the biggest distinct goal is getting my finances into shape to a degree they’ve never been. I’m extremely fortunate to have well-paid, stable employment and while I haven’t been setting my money on fire or anything (and in fact, have managed to save a decent chunk in the past 2-3 years), but I also haven’t been managing it as well as I could’ve been simply because I was never taught how to because my family never had money. For instance I had been skipping out on my HSA and contributing little or nothing to my 401k and all of my investing had been with sums too small to make a difference even when a stock saw a big jump. Since the latter half of last year that has been changing and assuming it doesn’t all go belly up with the new administration, will continue to change this year.
Aside from that, the other goal is continuing to “wake up” from the “dormant” state that I hadn’t realized I’d been in until some time in late 2023, when talking to an old friend for the first time in a while ignited a spark of motivation that I’d been missing for at least the preceding 7 years, maybe longer. Basically what happened is that following a few years of being dead broke, I managed to get a foot in the door of my industry (software dev) which then led to all of my energy and focus going into not losing it. I pulled it off, but as a result some part of myself went into hibernation due to neglect. Getting up and going about my day wasn’t a problem, but outside of work I was directionless, my drive was weak, and general emotional response was dampened. Lots of days I’d not accomplish anything but job responsibilities and routine things like house chores, and even major victories like becoming a homeowner kind of rolled off my back instead of sinking in. I was moving forward, but in more of a shambling somewhat indifferent zombie-like manner than out of self-direction.
Over the past year and change that part of me has been waking up and re-integrating which has been pleasant. It feels like I’m getting back in touch with the positive aspects of the teenage and early 20s version of myself, which was interested in almost everything and loved to create and build and imagine possibilities. I’ve found the best way to support this process is to partake in creative endeavors, and so I’ll be making a point to set aside time for these things.
My themes for this year are consistency and grace. I tend to be over ambitious in my day to day life and don’t take a lot of time to rest so what I really want is to have a good routine that is...
My themes for this year are consistency and grace. I tend to be over ambitious in my day to day life and don’t take a lot of time to rest so what I really want is to have a good routine that is good for me physically and mentally. So this is where the theme of consistency comes in.
I also am currently doing IVF so my goal this year is to get pregnant. But a big thing I want to keep in mind is giving myself grace to deal with the physical and emotional burden of the process and life in general. I am trying to be much more cognizant of when I need to let some things drop and not try to do too much. If I don’t have the energy to make dinner or clean up, that is ok. If I need to rest, I should rest. In the past I have struggled with this, so I am kind of trying to lean into not feeling guilty when I need to put myself first.
To have goals and ambitions.
For the longest time, I've been in survival mode. Even later in life, the past ten years, I didn't need to be. Yet survival mode is what I'm accustomed to.
I want to:
They all sounds great! But try not to get overwhelmed by trying to do too many things gs at once. It’s what I always do and I’m only succeeding in failing a lots of things at once! Maybe I should take my own advice now I think about it…
Oops. Too late!
I can't cycle and lift right now owing to too much ice outside. At my weight, my bike is too top heavy: too much wipe out risk. That has me sticking to lifting for now while the ice remains (likely for weeks, maybe more).
The marriage? Ongoing. Couples counseling. Personal therapy. Lots of hard work.
The business? Been on hold over the holidays and due to personal reasons. Hoping to resume this week.
This is exactly me, other than the business. But I want to ship major "products" in each of my three major areas of funding. Maybe go up for tenure?
Do you have a specific idea for a business?
Yes but afraid to discuss too much lest my mind lose motivation due to the dopamine of talking about it.
Do you have specific steps you intend to take in the next week or month to make progress on this specific idea?
You like to ask these forcing function questions, don't you? Not bad.
I'm planning to lift tomorrow. My wife is going to practice her life coaching training on me again in the next few days to help jumpstart my business work.
This is the first year I feel I've stumped myself on what I want to accomplish.
For years it was always: quit smoking, lose weight, and read more.
2 years ago I quit smoking cigarettes, and haven't touched them since.
Last year I read 62 books, far surpassing my usual yearly goal of 12.
While I'm not "thin" my job forces me to be active and I'm eating healthier than ever, and I feel good, and am content with it at this point.
Getting off Instagram was pretty big for me too, although I have a bit of fomo. It's a strange goal, to willingly distance yourself from where everyone in my peer group seems to be.
But it has lead me to other external ambitions, I suppose. I've taken an interest in programming applications and website now that LLMs seem to be half decent at rudimentary programming these days, my new website is looking great. It would be nice to continue making projects, and hope that it may possibly help me find another job in the new year.
But other than that, I want to work on being a better husband. Be less selfish, take care of our house more. A big one now that you have me thinking, is that I want to foster meaningful in-person relationships with distant college friends outside of social media by sending letters and small gifts, or whatever feels right.
OP, what about you? Any ambitions on your end?
Do you have an idea for a new specific web app that you want to build?
I recently made one to catalog my personal collection of books, and it turned out useable.
I used Flask with plain HTML and CSS, but now after making my portfolio website in React I want to rebuild the book app in React, but it feels daunting and I'm not entirely sure how to begin rebuilding something like that.
Perhaps when I do so I turn the book idea into something more social. I hate Goodreads with a passion, and one of the other big social book apps called 'Fable' was in the news lately because they set their chatgpt plugin to "playfully roast" their users during their end of year stats but many of them turned inappropriate. Seems like there could be a vacuum to fill.
Mostly just dreaming though, I'm not good enough at developing to be confident enough to release anything like that, even in an open source setting.
I have a bunch of random domains for me, my wife, and just ideas in general, so perhaps I start making things to host on them. I really enjoy the whole pipeline of developing/deploying/serving/using so as long as it has a use case for me I'll explore it.
Ha, you're like me, I created a site where I have my movie reviews, all auto generated via python, plus I have a bunch of ideas in the pipeline that simply need some spare time.
Storygraph is a popular book sharing app. If you want to look at the competition
Great rec! Thank you!
My number one goal is to release a video game. My number two goal is to release two video games…
Do you have an idea for a specific video game you could make in the next year?
Well luckily, I have already been working on a game for a year already! So hopefully that one but I just broke one of my rules and started another, much more simplistic game in hopes to get something out the door.
Both of them are pokemon/digimon style mon tamers :D.
Thanks for asking!
Sorry to hear about your cat. Best of luck with the new kitty!
Thank you! I'm planning to adopt one from our local shelter, the folks there can usually pick a good kitty match for each person. I'm hoping for a gentle, calm kitty, around 0.5-1.5yo, one that likes lots of petting and cuddles. Would also love it to have longer, fluffy fur like my last kitty, but we shall see!
The kitten distribution system works wonders, the right Kitty will come along :)
What part of the U.S. are your friends in?
We're gonna be meeting in Philly! I'm really looking forward to seeing the city.
Are you planning to also visit NY? If you have never been to America, I strongly suggest you try to hit up a city in rural pen state, and also day trip to NY city. You don't realize how diverse America is until you have experienced some of the diversity first hand.
Get a job! Stay in the job! Earn income so I at least break even.
Somehow manage to take care of my physical and mental health while working too.
I've not been employed for nearly 2 years now. It was due to my health. I got sick and it was pretty bad to the point I couldn't leave my apartment. But I'm a lot better now and pretty close to normal! Or my approximation of normal.
So I just want to get back to life!
For me, my New Year's resolution is: no social media before noon. I like it too much to quit, but I want to make it something I don't reach for before getting some stuff done.
Also, learning to cook a few dishes so I don't rely on my wife so much.
Also, vague musical ambitions having to do with being more social. Maybe start taking formal lessons or going to accordion club meetings?
Do you have in mind a few dishes you intend to perfect over the next year?
Simple dishes we like to eat often. Also, I'd like to learn about dishes I can make a lot of and freeze.
My favorites for simplicity are grilled steak/salmon (on an outdoor grill, which equates to almost zero cleanup) roast chicken (line with tin foil to minimize cleanup) and pasta. They are all simple, but none of them are easy to perfect.
My favorite frozen food is chicken tortilla soup in a pressure cooker. It isn't simple to make, but it holds up well in the freezer, and it's just as easy to make 4-8 meals as it is to make 1-2 meals.
Last year's goal was to complete my schooling and earn my teaching license. I accomplished that handily.
This year, my main goal is to find a teaching position in my local district (preferably) or a neighboring district that pays well. I understand it's a shallow motivation, but I'm entering the game late (I'm turning 36 this year) and don't feel like I have the time to invest in a low income school while still being able to support my family.
The most difficult part of all this is going to be having the patience to wait for spots to open up in my preferred districts - many schools won't post these openings until March or later, and it's stressing me out having to sit on my hands for such a long time.
There's already some openings that I like, but they're not ones I love and I don't want to be locked into a contract and have something better come along.
Edit: some other minor goals -
Hey congrats on the teaching license!! Am student teaching right now!!
Are you planning to take the kids camping?
That would be like a two for one.
Have you figured out which camp spot to book, and when reservations open up for summer?
I have a vague goal of trading more of my after work habitual mindless phone scrolling time for hobby-related activities. I don't mind some phone time to decompress, but it feels bad wasting a whole evening. I've already read four books and put a few hours of practice on my saxophone since new year by trying to be more mindful of how I spend my evenings.
This year's more measurable goal is getting my healthcare back on track. I'm back on traditional insurance so the plan is to knock out annual checkups and get some desperately needed new glasses. My first appointment is next week
I want to continue going to the gym, I started 3 months ago and actually enjoy going three times a week!
Then I want to do another massive road trip. In 2018 I did a 2500 mile road trip in $1000 cars with friends (emulating old top gear budget challenges), and in 2021 I did a 6500 mile road trip all over the eastern US with my Miata. So I either want to do another friends road trip or, if they can’t go this year, do a west coast road trip in the Miata.
Lastly, I want to progress on the road to home ownership. It’s becoming a more realistic goal for me, even with these interest rates, due to my credit union offering great loan programs and due to a number of $250k or so properties popping up in my area, especially townhomes. I would love my own single family property but I’m at the point where I’d rather be building equity in a townhome over continuing to rent. Sharing one wall with a neighbor isn’t “ideal” but I share walls in my rental townhome and it’s been fine. There are homes in that range, they just tend to be older and need more work than a townhome or the same price. I am handy, but I’m also single and don’t want to have $20,000 of surprise expenses in the first couple years of ownership, so that’s why I might lean nicer townhome over less nice house.
Get back into shape!
For the past two years I haven’t exercised at all and the previous two years I exercised 6 days a week. So far, I’ve just started doing very, very small things every day just to get going again. I know if I tried to go from 0-100 I would never keep it up.
Also, move back to the PNW (USA). I posted here almost exactly a year ago mentioning I was moving to Colorado (USA) and I’ve found that it’s not for me! Money lost; lessons learned. I’ve a new appreciation for what the PNW had to offer and now have a very clear goal to work toward.
I’m excited for all the things in the works!
As someone else looking to move this year, I'm curious what you liked more about the PNW than Colorado?
Well, in order to be fair about the rest of this, I’ll have to disclose more about where I live so this only applies to Denver, CO vs Portland, OR and Seattle, WA (I did not live long-term anywhere else in these states)
The people - I was much more likely to find people that had similar social values. I live in Denver right now and while it’s probably more Left-leaning than a lot of other cities around, I’ve met so many MAGA ass-hats, racists, and transphobes in the year I’ve been here. There is also a lot of entitlement (I can’t think of a better word right now) when it comes to everyday rules like speed limits and parking or now that I’m writing it out just car-culture in general. People that I meet through the same means I was meeting folks in Portland/Seattle I’m finding I have much less in common with. Sports and hiking/camping/“Type-2 fun” are 99% of hobbies for people I’ve met. I don’t share these hobbies outside of casual hiking.
Public transit - While I do own a car, I never really used it in Portland and Seattle unless it was a special occasion (moving, hiking, roadtrips, etc). In Denver you ~can~ get around without a car but it would be miserable and take 3x as long as driving. Outside of Denver you’re screwed. I don’t want to go back to driving all of the time and that’s what has happened.
Cost of living - holy shit did I not do enough research. Portland (we’re not talking Seattle this time) is actually noticeably cheaper to exist. On paper Denver is cheaper but now that I’ve gotten here it’s definitely not. Rent is about the same but car and health insurance (marketplace, not via job) are much more expensive. Car insurance alone was 3x more expensive. Health insurance was 2x more expensive. Food here is weirdly expensive. Sales tax exists here but I know Oregon was special in that regard. Still have to file taxes with the state on top of everything. I’m a 1099 worker so it sucks.
Environment - this is 100% personal preference but, aside from the sun (the glorious sun — seriously as someone living with depression, this part has been a lifesaver), I prefer PNW geography/environment. So much more green space compared to Colorado for obvious reasons. I didn’t think I would care as much as I do. I don’t have a desire to go out into nature as much as I did in the PNW and I don’t do winter sports so I feel like a lot of the benefits of this part of the country are wasted on me. The roads and sidewalks are a lot more fucked up.
Misc - Everything here is nitpicky and just observational through my personal lens and may not matter to you or anyone else reading: food here isn’t great. You really have to hunt for good food (usually outside of Denver — Aurora has better food!) I haven’t spent much time outside of Denver and Aurora so I can’t speak for, say, Boulder or Colorado Springs. Traffic sucks because everyone here is reliant on cars, large portion of drivers ignore traffic laws — particularly speed limits and red lights. I don’t have a bike but bike lanes are not common and there are lot of big trucks and SUVs that don’t give enough room to folks on bikes. Less urban density. Way less visible queer community. Just so, so many bro-types.
Just something else strange I’ve been reading about - supposedly Denver has a higher unhoused population than Portland but they are not nearly as visible throughout the city like they are in Portland/Seattle. That was the first thing I noticed and was surprised by. I don’t know if they are just doing more sweeps or forcing them further out of the inner city but if you’ve ever been to Portland or Seattle these folks are unfortunately everywhere all the time. The sentiment here towards the unhoused is pretty fucked despite there being a less visible population.
I don’t know if it’s just been my personal experience but the job market for me has been horrible. I do audio/video production and cannot find a job in that AT ALL. I had one client when I first moved here but they never paid on time so I stopped working with them. Had another client for a web design gig that I had to take to small claims court (won luckily) because they refused to pay me at all. I had to take a job doing something completely unrelated to any skill or experience I had and it pays far, far less than my normal audio/video work, so that’s been a struggle. I can’t speak for other industries but just thought that was worth mentioning.
Some things I do like better - flights out of Denver are cheaper and you can go anywhere in the US with options (I have fam in the south and it’s cheap and easy). The weather and sun like previously mentioned. If you like winter sports, obviously this is the place to be. It’s doable in the PNW but it seems to be almost the default hobby here. If you’re into EDM and festivals/raves, you are among your people here for sure. I had no idea about that.
I realize that this is a very long, negative reply. I wish I didn’t feel this way about the city, I really really wanted to love it here. You may have a completely different, more positive experience here, particularly if you’re not moving to Denver since that is the only place I can speak on. Lots of locals here as opposed to Portland/Seattle so I read that as people loving where they live enough to stay (I haven’t looked into that thought, just my natural reaction). I miss seeing people with blue hair and posters for weird bands and all the strange and sometimes silliness of Portland in general. And I cannot emphasize enough how much I miss not driving.
I’m sorry for being so negative - truly!
I actually really appreciate all your thoughts! I've always considered Denver as a potential place to move, but I've only stayed there once for a ski trip.
I totally get the vibes you're talking about. I've spent a lot of time in Seattle, and I've taken the Amtrak to Portland too. While you still have to use a car occasionally, you can get away with just taking a Zipcar or rental occasionally. My brother-in-law bikes everywhere in Seattle and has never owned a car in the city!
This is the only thing I'm curious about. My understanding is Colorado has some fantastic southwestern food which is a genre I love and find lacking in the PNW. I have noticed Portland's dining is better than Seattle's on average. I've had a lot of good experiences at the high-end establishments in Seattle though.
Become a better runner while running less. I'm still relatively new so I think doing more cycling and using my rowing machine more will be beneficial. Hopefully I can swim more too. The marathon I ran last year went great so I'd like to keep getting better and finding how good it can feel to run at a good clip for long distances if I'm properly in shape.
One part of that will be needing to keep losing weight. I've more or less plateaued (flat valleyed?) for a while but I know I have quite a bit more I can lose while being healthier. I'll need to make sure I consume enough protein to support a calorie deficit while staying active.
That will also help me to do more varied rock climbing. I started that in the past couple months and I want to have fun getting better at it, but I don't necessarily want to make it a focus in the way that I'll do specific training plans for running. I don't want to be the best ever; I just want to be able to do more types of stuff and some of those get pretty difficult when you've got too much extra weight literally holding you down, especially when you've got arms as long as mine. They can be helpful when you want to reach higher holds, but that's basically a cheat code. They make it harder to get all scrunched up and stay close to the wall, so if I'm trying to just have fun and not win competitions, long arms just seem to make it easier to climb less...
Non-athletically, I'm moving overseas, so I want to do a decent amount of traveling and to work on sharpening my French while focusing on acquiring skills in the local language.
I'm going to try to have it all like Liz Lemon, probably fail miserably like Liz Lemon, and then try to still have a great year!
My theme for this year is health, so my goal is to get my health back. Pre covid, I used to go bouldering a few times a week and was in great shape. After a string of injuries, some of which popped up with no causes, I'm now at a place where I can't sit, stand, or walk for long periods of time.
I've been stressed by work and long term exhaustion for many years and I think (or at least hope) it contributed greatly to my random physical ailments, but I'm doing a lot better, mentally, after getting layed off. I'm on cobra for insurance this year to try and get all my medical stuff figured out and hopefully resolved. After 3 months of freedom, I'm still burned out but no longer feel dread or the oppressing doom when I sit at my computer to be productive, whatever "productivity" would be. I recently started to work on a video game. My career started in the video games industry so I have experience in this, but this is a much easier type of game to work on than what I used to do. So I guess my second goal is to make progress on this game, but not at the expense of my health. I'm fortunate to be able to focus on my health this year.
I turn 45 this year, and I feel like the idea of ever being able to retire is basically a pipe dream at this point. I don't want to be a programmer forever, so my longer-term goal is to start working towards making some kind of sustainable income as an author, ideally to a point where I could think about quitting my day job some time after my kids are done college (i.e., within the next 10 years) and eke out some kind of post-software-engineer living. My short term goal for 2025 is to get at least a couple short stories written and submitted to publications, if not actually published somewhere. I feel like that's a reasonable goal even while working full time, and should give me a better idea of how realistic the longer term idea might be.
If you're paid a decent salary, have you not been able to save up and set aside money for retirement? If you're in the US, you'll also be eligible to make catch-up contributions when you turn 50.
I have a 401k that I contribute to and some other savings, but nowhere near retirement levels. I think I've read that by the time you hit 45 you should have saved around 3x your annual salary, but I'm probably clocking in at well under half my salary (and I've optimized my career for quality of life over maximizing salary, so it really doesn't feel like that much at all). I have no idea how a family with kids to raise, a house to maintain, and (especially!!) medical expenses can do it. Both of my kids are about to hit college age too, so I expect the savings to take a significant hit from that soon.
This is sounding more whiny than I intended. I understand that I am to blame for my situation and I definitely could have made different choices in life to improve the situation. I'm already in it though, so need to figure out how I'm going to survive once I inevitably age out of being a hire-able software engineer.
What fund is the 401(k) invested in? I’m assuming it’s a target date fund? If I may ask, how much is in there now?
What are your other savings in the form of? For the kids, if they want to go to college, do not pull anything out of your retirement. You take a big tax hit.
Have you not been able to save about 15% of your pretax income for retirement every year? It's not too late to get on top of it and comfortably retire by 67! The best retirement advice is probably r/bogleheads though I'd also recommend checking r/personalfinance since they have a fantastic financial flowchart.
The idea of still working as a software engineer into my mid 60s just seems so unappealing to me. What this whole thread has helped me realize is that my goal is maybe less related to retirement as it is to a desire to find a way to break out of this thing I've been grinding away at for the last 25 years and find a way to do something more creatively/artistically fulfilling without winding up on the streets in the process. Like I've already reached the level cap on my career and have gone through all the end game content and want to try out a whole new game.
Have you considered a sabbatical perhaps?
Every year, I grow my beard out until the Vikings are eliminated from Super Bowl contention. So my ambition is to keep this puppy growing until next year! I'm doing my part!
You are not really doing your part unless you habitually wear something like this...
https://kagi.com/proxy/Viking_hat_men_WEB_3_1080x.jpg?c=j5qn9xiNsdWolWiolJoUlA1z8R-O4oDMlg7Sz_nT5aFkwc6EN1cubla9WSWQsREXBiUKhjLtDzKnxIuofCwhEEefLG35DywSaihdkw6BTDH9gazDnOr33gQGU7_28w-_
I also share a lot of the same goals as others have mentioned, mainly being eating better, learning to cook some more meals, losing weight, reading more etc.
My main goals however are as I am (in theory haha) going to become a social studies teacher, I would like to find some like minded individuals online and work with them to make all of our lives easier. I have pipe dreams of a teacher collective where we make really nice lesson plans and curriculum by splitting up the work. I also want to continue to move away from corporations, so I would like to get my NAS up and running (I think it has a backplane issue atm).
Specifically I would like to use nixOS to self host, and then when I am at a stable point document everything so that others can use it as a jumping off point for self-hosting on, and learning nixOS
Have you looked at ChatGPT or similar for assistance building out lesson plans?
I have yeah! It is pretty nice! There are a few other AI services that are marketed towards teachers that are very helpful, difit (or maybe diffit) being the big one that comes to mind
I personally love New Year's Resolutions as I've found they're a great way to focus on what I want to do in the coming year. It's helpful to reflect and figure out what big things I want to do with my finite time.
My goals for this year are a mix of personal growth and trying to better enjoy my time. I've really taken various tips and comments from Tildes to heart! I truly appreciate the community here.
Some of my New Year's resolutions:
Visual novels are so great, but IMO read a real book :). That uninterrupted flow of prose activates parts of your brain you can't get from other media. (Probably.) I need to read more books as well. Started Ministry for the Future as an audiobook, but something about the delivery wasn't landing great for me, so I'll start over at some point as a regular book. Not sure if it'll be in time for the ~books club discussion.
But if you have time, keep reading visual novels too!
The visual novels are great for studying Japanese, so they're multi-purpose! You're right that I should pick up a real book though. I've mostly been reading manga for pleasure and non-fiction for professional development reasons. Maybe I need to pick some good fiction again?
I have one main professional goal and one main personal goal.
Job wise, I'd like to get promoted or at least get a job at the next level. I've been a junior engineer for the last 1.5 years and I can get promoted at my current company if I take things seriously and meet the expectations of a mid-level engineer for the next 6 months. However, there's some uncertainty with how my company will operate this year and have heard rumors of potential layoffs. I work on a core team for one of our main products but I think I could be a target for being laid off since my last work rating (before the one that gets finalized in 3 weeks) was a "Meets Some" rather than the "Meets All" I assume they'd look for when figuring out who to keep. At the same time, I kinda do want to switch companies. While my job is cushy and I have no real complaints, the job is a bit boring. It's stable but boring and I kind of want to work on something a bit more exciting. We'll see though.
Personal goal is to just take my health more seriously. I've been overweight for a while and I've done the bare minimum to just maintain that. I'd like to start losing my weight and just start exercising regularly. I've worked out like 4 days this year so far but I want to be a bit more regular with my exercising.
I wish to write 350 words of fiction every weekday. It doesn't sound like much and people online claim to write way faster, but trying to be like them doesn't work for me. Besides, when someone says they write thousands of words every day, I wonder how good those words are, and how much of it they can use. With my plan, I will write about 91'000 words in a year. Probably a little less due to tough days in which I cannot write. In any case, that's essentially a novel. A lot of it will be cut in editing or rewritten, but it's a good start. I'm just a very slow writer.
It's better to have an easy goal I can actually meet than a difficult one that will demotivate me.
Online writing communities are toxic morasses full of lies.
One is that I want to learn Rust this year. Is there a decent self-directed course anyone can suggest? I come from a kinda shitty mix of experience in Java and familiarity with other languages but without programming in my day to day, and so I often fall off learning new languages or game dev kits quickly... Was different in college when I had more extrinsic motivation, I guess. Something structured well that isn't paced for complete beginners would help.
Also want to figure out the next part of my Pokémon tattoo. Do I want different artists doing each Pokémon? Should I do a Scolipede, Ho-oh, or Shedinja next, or multiple at the same time so they're symmetrical with my Lopunnies? If I do Shedinja, should I do a creepy blackwork style? Decisions decisions. Probably should reach out to the artist I want to help solidify it.
There are some great resources in this repo, and the Rustaceans I've talked to all recommend The Book which is the official guide:
If you make any progress, feel free to message me because I'm also planning to learn some Rust this year!
Definitely will, same to you and thank you!
Get dual US/UK citizenship. Mum is an English lass who married a US serviceman in 1954 and emigrated here, and since her children were born before she naturalized, we can become UK citizens by registration.
My Cassandra sense is quite loud these days, and I'd like options.
What’s a Cassandra sense? I’ve never heard of it and a search didn’t bring up anything useful.
https://www.the-sentinel-intelligence.com/p/youre-not-a-fearmonger-you-have-sentinel-f70?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Sorry for that. I adapted the term from this article, which while not perfectly capturing my experience, at least gave me the tool to name it.
Here it is in full. Written by Jessica Wildfire in 2023.
Some of us can hear the future.
You’ve probably heard about Helen of Troy. She’s blamed for starting the Trojan War. Not many people remember Cassandra. She predicted it. In Aeschylus’s tragedy Agamemnon, you get Cassandra’s full story. In some ways, the Trojan War is really about a bunch of dudes who don’t listen to a woman, and it leads straight to the collapse of their civilization. In later retellings, they ignore her twice.
Cassandra doesn’t exactly ask for the gift of prophecy. The Greek god Apollo falls in love with her. He puts her under a spell in one of his temples. Then he tells his pet snakes to go lick her ears. When she wakes up, she can hear the future. Apollo tries to seduce Cassandra, but she’s just not that into him. He has a meltdown. Zeus tells him no backsies on divine gifts, so he finds a loophole. He curses her. Now when Cassandra hears the future, nobody believes her. If you want to drive someone insane, that’s a good start.
Not only does Cassandra predict the Trojan war, but she also warns everyone about the Trojan Horse. Once again, nobody listens. They start calling her names. She tries to smash the horse open with an axe and gets dragged away screaming. Many of us have been identifying strongly with Cassandra over the last few years. We watch the media downplay and dismiss one threat after another. We endure endless opinion pieces about everything from climate alarmism to coronaphobia. Influencers accuse us of hurting everyone’s mental health. Strangers call us doomers and fearmongers. Our friends and family treat us like we’re paranoid. When we share dozens or even hundreds of studies, they refuse to look at them. They say, “I don’t want to read anything that’ll bring me down.” “I’m trying to stay positive.”
Americans and Westerners in general are suffering from a pandemic of denial, wishful thinking, and toxic positivity. It impedes us at every turn, on almost every serious issue. It exacerbates our existing anxiety and contributes to our sense of despair about the future of the planet. Here’s the thing: You’re not a fearmonger. You have sentinel intelligence.
Sentinel intelligence refers to a special cognitive ability that allows someone to detect threats before anyone else. Richard A. Clarke and R.P. Eddy talk about this trait in their book, Warnings: Finding Cassandras to Stop Catastrophes. They review a number of natural and economic disasters throughout history. As they write, “in each instance a Cassandra was pounding the table and warning us precisely about the disasters that came as promised.” Not only were they ignored, but “the people with the power to respond often put more effort into discounting the Cassandra than saving lives and resources.”
If you have sentinel intelligence, your brain can aggregate and sift through extraordinary amounts of information in a very short period of time, especially when it comes to seeing latent or hidden dangers. You don’t get stymied by what Clarke and Eddy call the “magnitude of overload.”
In some ways, it’s a superpower.
Research on sensitive individuals confirms how sentinels and Cassandras think. Social psychologist Tsachi Ein-Dor writes that some of us "are chronically hypervigilant and constantly alert to potential threats and dangers. Other individuals, once alerted to a threat, are self-reliant and likely to take protective actions rapidly and effectively." In other words, we're hardwired alarm systems. Groups are more likely to survive when they have a mix of people who are skilled at detecting, communicating, and acting on threats to their survival.
Some of us can identify threats just by knowing that something's off. One study in Nature Scientific Reports describes this ability as ‘Scene Gist’. As they explain, "Scene gist extracted rapidly from the environment may help people detect threats." The shapes and contours of a landscape can trigger our threat brains even before we know the details of what we're looking at. The findings suggest that scene gist extends beyond scanning your surroundings for patterns. It could apply to evaluating other types of input. Like data.
If you have sentinel intelligence, you probably know what it feels like to always have your threat brain on. You know how it feels when you're assessing and analyzing information and something feels odd, even before you can articulate exactly what it is. That's scene gist. There's an avenue of research in psychology called threat sensitivity theory, where researchers study how individuals identify and respond to danger. As Samantha Denefrio explains, some individuals show an "exagerated threat sensitivity." On the one hand, it can be maladaptive. On the other, it could save you from a deadly virus or a climate disaster.
Threat sensitivity lives on a spectrum. As Stephen Ristvedt writes in Heliyon, "People on one end... are dispositionally hypersensitive to possible threat and thus more prone to anxiety and avoidance. Those on the other end... are relatively insensitive to threats and thus more likely... to take unnecessary risks."
Some research describes sentinels as flowers. A study in Translational Psychiatry looked at how college students respond to their environment. They found that around 30 percent react strongly to external stimuli, 40 percent show a moderate reaction, and about 30 percent show a weak reaction. They describe the low-sensitivity group as dandelions and the moderate-sensitivity group as tulips. They call the high-sensitivity group orchids.
Orchids experience more intense reactions to art and music. They pay more attention to detail. They feel more overwhelmed by too much stimulus, but they simultaneously hyperfocus for long periods of time. They also tend to be quiet introverts. They’re more likely to feel self-conscious, and they’re more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.
These terms like orchid and sentinel describe the same overall group, and we find them throughout history. Psychologists sometimes describe them as highly sensitive. They’re often ignored, even persecuted for speaking truth to power. Our culture dumps a lot of judgment on them, along with anyone who falls somewhere on the neurodivergence spectrum. We’re called weak and emotional, and we’re attacked for feeling too much. The actual data suggests that it’s not a weakness at all. It’s a strength.
It’s not easy to convince someone to take a threat seriously when you’re the only one who sees it. Your mind has pieced together hundreds or even thousands of different data points from research, but also from prior experience and observations. You’ll have trouble unpacking all of that. According to Clarke and Eddy, someone with sentinel intelligence “may at times appear obsessive and even socially abrasive.” We’ve seen a lot of that lately. This research also explains why so many people wait until there’s an overwhelming amount of evidence indicating a threat before doing anything. Dandelions and tulips don’t respond as strongly to their environments: they miss the warning signs.
If you have sentinel intelligence, it probably bewilders you how the vast majority of people can’t or won’t connect all the dots and threads. It’s why you’re often confused with your arch-enemy, the conspiracy theorist. There’s a big difference. Sentinels care about people and want to keep them safe, even strangers. They’re inclined to think about the greater good, and they’re more willing to put up with inconveniences for the sake of protecting their group. They’re also more willing to risk the alienation and sometimes embarrassment of being wrong. They would rather be wrong than risk someone else’s life.
Conspiracy theorists do the opposite. If sentinels display more compassion, conspiracy theorists show higher levels of narcissism and psychopathy. They’re less in tune with their surroundings. They show much less compassion. They place a great deal of importance on their own personal rights and freedoms. They give themselves a special role in revealing the truth. While they portray themselves as highly-informed and rational, they tend to string together random facts and observations into narratives with no internal consistency. These narratives often arrive at violence toward institutions and marginalized groups.
Sentinels usually advocate for simple measures, while conspiracy theorists push for violent interventions or radical solutions, like suspending the constitution or kidnapping governors.
Finally, conspiracy theorists are prone to trivialize and dismiss actual threats like corporate monopolies and disaster capitalism. When the Trojans ignored Cassandra, they indulged in a range of fallacies.
Here’s how Trojan brains think:
That will never happen.
Okay, it’s happening.
It’s not that bad.
Okay, it’s bad.
It won’t last long.
Okay, it will never end.
What’s your solution?
That won’t work.
It’s too late to do anything.
Everyone’s worn out.
There’s no way we could’ve known.
We should just let it happen.
Everyone’s on their own.
Everything’s fine.
I’m trying to stay positive.
It’s not my fault.
It’s your fault.
Psychologists also have a name for the tendency to shrug off warnings. It’s called reactance. Paul Ratner talks about it in Big Think. As he writes, “not many are big fans of being told what to do.” On the other hand, “persisting in your obstinance can feel pretty satisfying.” Jack W. Brehm introduced this idea in his 1966 book, A Theory of Psychological Reactance. His work inspired nearly 60 years of research on how individuals and groups shrug off warnings until it's too late. Then they panic.
So, look: our survival depends on our ability to overcome these psychological hangups. We also have to get better at listening to sentinels instead of pathologizing them and talking about their social anxiety. If you’re a sentinel, it often feels like the slightest suggestion of a threat sets off a cascade of denial and wishful thinking. Now we know why.
Combine all of these psychological hazards, and you arrive at the current state of affairs, a Western society that remains largely unwilling to recognize threats and face them with simple solutions. I don’t think the answer lies in softening our words or coddling fragile egos. That never helps. We just need a little confidence and reassurance that we’re doing the right thing. When minimizers call us hysterical doomers, we can lean on the psychology that says otherwise.
If you see a threat, there’s nothing wrong with speaking up. Someone’s always going to feed their own self-esteem by dismissing you.
Focus on the ones in the middle who might listen. With enough effort, we can get through to the 40 percent of people out there who show some willingness to pay attention. They can fall prey to Trojan brain, but they’ll listen to sentinels. It’s worth trying.
Maybe this last part sounds optimistic. If you have sentinel intelligence, maybe it takes all you’ve got just to protect yourself and endure everyone’s ridicule. Some of us are tired, and we need a break from the role of Cassandra. That’s fine.
Just remember, you’re not a fearmonger. You have a gift from the gods. You can hear the future.
I want to just spend as much time as I can with my first child who is now about half a year old. Part of that is staying off Reddit which I have been really enjoying since the us election ended.
Probably the biggest distinct goal is getting my finances into shape to a degree they’ve never been. I’m extremely fortunate to have well-paid, stable employment and while I haven’t been setting my money on fire or anything (and in fact, have managed to save a decent chunk in the past 2-3 years), but I also haven’t been managing it as well as I could’ve been simply because I was never taught how to because my family never had money. For instance I had been skipping out on my HSA and contributing little or nothing to my 401k and all of my investing had been with sums too small to make a difference even when a stock saw a big jump. Since the latter half of last year that has been changing and assuming it doesn’t all go belly up with the new administration, will continue to change this year.
Aside from that, the other goal is continuing to “wake up” from the “dormant” state that I hadn’t realized I’d been in until some time in late 2023, when talking to an old friend for the first time in a while ignited a spark of motivation that I’d been missing for at least the preceding 7 years, maybe longer. Basically what happened is that following a few years of being dead broke, I managed to get a foot in the door of my industry (software dev) which then led to all of my energy and focus going into not losing it. I pulled it off, but as a result some part of myself went into hibernation due to neglect. Getting up and going about my day wasn’t a problem, but outside of work I was directionless, my drive was weak, and general emotional response was dampened. Lots of days I’d not accomplish anything but job responsibilities and routine things like house chores, and even major victories like becoming a homeowner kind of rolled off my back instead of sinking in. I was moving forward, but in more of a shambling somewhat indifferent zombie-like manner than out of self-direction.
Over the past year and change that part of me has been waking up and re-integrating which has been pleasant. It feels like I’m getting back in touch with the positive aspects of the teenage and early 20s version of myself, which was interested in almost everything and loved to create and build and imagine possibilities. I’ve found the best way to support this process is to partake in creative endeavors, and so I’ll be making a point to set aside time for these things.
My themes for this year are consistency and grace. I tend to be over ambitious in my day to day life and don’t take a lot of time to rest so what I really want is to have a good routine that is good for me physically and mentally. So this is where the theme of consistency comes in.
I also am currently doing IVF so my goal this year is to get pregnant. But a big thing I want to keep in mind is giving myself grace to deal with the physical and emotional burden of the process and life in general. I am trying to be much more cognizant of when I need to let some things drop and not try to do too much. If I don’t have the energy to make dinner or clean up, that is ok. If I need to rest, I should rest. In the past I have struggled with this, so I am kind of trying to lean into not feeling guilty when I need to put myself first.
Survive.
This here, baby! Survive!